Chapter 18:
Injection. Injection. Injection.
Aaron couldn't think of anything other than the dreaded injection.
It was the first thing that popped in his mind when he felt the odd vibrations in his legs, the ticklish numbness deep in his muscles, the frightening lifelessness that restrained him from moving properly. He could imagine Daddy creeping up to him at some point during the night and piercing the needle right into his flesh.
It made his heart race a thousand miles an hour, the close prospect of having lost control of his legs—the most important elements for his entire plans to escape. Even his chest swelled with fright until it was close to exploding, to bursting all the piling emotion into open air.
Aaron caught the bars and tried raising himself, but his numb legs didn't tolerate his weight, radiating with weirdly uncomfortable vibrations from the base of his foot to his knee until he fell back onto the mattress. He touched his shin, pressed his finger into the skin, but he didn't feel what he should; he felt odd, delusional thickness.
"No way." Aaron tried standing up again and again, failing miserably each time. He hadn't even done anything wrong. Why would Daddy do that to him? He'd been particularly obedient lately: he'd gone to bed without a word, let him brush his teeth, and he hadn't protested the slightest bit.
He strived to regain some sort of remote life and control in his legs—to receive some response from the nerves—but it didn't happen, and the terror snaked around his heart like poison ivy. He felt like his lungs were filled with thorns. "No! This can't happen right now."
Aaron's voice cracked and he almost wanted to cry but skillfully bit down the urge. Crying wasn't for men, the golden rule. So Aaron slumped down against the bars hopelessly, head leant back as he pressed his palms to his face. He wanted his legs back. He didn't know what to do, how to continue now that he had zero hope, now that he wouldn't be able to move until the drug would wear off—God knew when, and that was if it hadn't caused permanent damage.
The door suddenly flung open. Lou barreled in, his face crumpled and his shoulders tense with worry as he hurried towards the crib. "God, baby, what's wrong?" he urged, gasping when he saw heavy, strained breaths recking Aaron's little chest like earthquakes. Lou quickly bent over the railing and gripped Aaron's underarms, raising him and turning to place him on the changing table. With one hand, he held his pale cheek and forced him into eye-contact. Seeing his baby upset made his chest tighten. "Baby, tell me. What's wrong?"
"I can't feel my legs," Aaron said, almost choking on a strangled cry. Saying it out loud felt like an establishment of the horrible situation.
Numb, Lou thought. It was normal. Why did Aaron look so scared?
His eyes trailed down to Aaron's legs, then he held his bony ankle and raised the bottom of his pants until the fabric gathered at his knee, his shin now fully exposed. Pressing his finger into the skin, Lou carefully assessed Aaron's face for a reaction. But nothing. "Does it hurt, baby?"
Aaron shook his head. "It's numb. I can't feel anything."
Lou could see the need to cry on Aaron's face. Maybe because of everything? He wished his baby would stop torturing himself, stop holding back his emotions and restraining his tears. Why did he always try to deny his feelings? He smiled at Aaron in a way he prayed was assuring—in a way he hoped would put him at ease. "Baby," Lou said, "your legs are just numb. Maybe because you haven't been walking a lot. Don't worry, it happens."
Lou curled his arms around Aaron's waist, then pulled him off the table and placed him down on his feet, one hand gripping his arm to keep him balanced. "Move with me, baby. You'll see, they'll go back to normal in just a minute."
Aaron let his weight over his legs and stepped, but as soon as he did, a wave of odd, ticklish vibrations gathered in the base of his feet then shot up all the way to his knees. His legs quivered as they failed to tolerate his weight. "I can't," Aaron said, lashes downcast and voice shaky. "They're really numb."
"Try baby, try." Lou didn't give up, guiding Aaron's legs into each step while supporting him.
Eventually, the numbness and the odd feelings dissolved, slowly filtering out until they were nothing but a fragment of the past. Lou let go of Aaron's arm. And when he was able to keep himself balanced and even stepped forwards on his own, Lou smiled.
Aaron sighed. He stepped back until he was just by the foot of the changing table then slid down against it and sat with his legs outstretched. Now he knew what relief really felt like.
Leaning his head back, Aaron exhaled, the breath of air carrying along the weight that had been torturing him. Now that it was over, he felt stupid. He felt so goddamn stupid for directly associating the numbness with the injection, but then again he couldn't really help it. He hadn't really realized it until then: how the thought of the injection was carved deep in his subconsciousness, always there and scaring him unknowingly until something connected it to reality—the numbness he'd just felt being that connecting chord. It was only then that the idea sprang from the subconsciousness to reality, from the shadows lurking in the back of his mind to the very front, plaguing out his senses and logic like a sturdy brick wall.
Kind of like Freud's theory happening to him. For once, all the theories Aaron'd read came to actual use.
Aaron sighed again, his hand reaching up to cover his face frustratedly. "I can't believe I thought it was the injection."
It was a quiet mumble, a small whisper that was meant to be a mere inner thought but had accidentally seeped out into open air, slightly muffled by his palm against his mouth. Lou didn't hear it clearly, but he caught the word injection, and that was enough for him to snap his head towards Aaron immediately, his brows brought together with confusion.
"Baby?" Lou cautiously scooted closer to Aaron. He sat on his calves just by his side and removed Aaron's hand from his face with a gentle, slow move. "What did you say, love? The injection?"
Aaron looked at him, and he wasn't sure if he should tell him. "I just... I thought he gave me the injection."
"Who?"
Aaron made a face. How many male captors were there?
"Your brother." It came out with a tangible bitterness, a clear accusation. Aaron's eyes fell back down to stare at his lap. He didn't want to say Daddy too often, but he also didn't want to accidentally offend Lou by purposely using derivatives instead. Sure, Lou seemed decent, but Aaron wouldn't risk accidentally triggering him. "I mean... Daddy."
Lou frowned for a second, and then he gave Aaron a glare which wasn't really directed at him. He couldn't believe Daddy had already shown him the injection. Why would he do that? Sighing, Lou closed his eyes in a strained attempt to maintain his composure. As soon as he focused on Aaron again, still so distraught, so shaken, Lou's expression softened, and he yearned to comfort him. He curled an arm around Aaron and pulled him closer, chin resting on his head.
"Daddy didn't, and he wouldn't, baby," Lou said. "I promise. But Uncle Lou's still gonna have a little talk with him about that."
"No." The idea made Aaron's heart stutter. He tried squirming out of Lou's hold. "Don't do that, don't talk to him about it. He'll give it to me on purpose if you do."
"Baby, trust me." Lou smiled, pecking Aaron's temple. "I know what I'm doing."
So Lou carried Aaron down to the kitchen for breakfast, and he left him there with Mommy and Leo. Then he marched around the house with frantic steps, urgently searching for Daddy. Lou finally found him standing by the front door. Without a word, he gripped Daddy's bicep and gestured him to follow him into the living room.
Both men walked in. Lou closed the door behind. "Aaron woke up with his legs numb," Lou said, his voice steady and unwavering, yet his eyes were raging. "And he thought you gave him the injection."
Daddy raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Saw that coming. I didn't give him anything. It's probably because he's not walking much."
The nonchalance in this made Lou fume internally. Couldn't Daddy see where the problem was? "That's not the problem. I know you didn't give him anything. But why the hell would you scare him with it if he behaves well?"
"He wasn't letting me wash him during the bath. He kept pushing me away. That's why."
"What the f—" Lou paused to compose himself, carefully reconsidering his language. "Pushing you away? That's it? Because he pushed you away, during his first bath, you threatened him with the injection? You could've called me. I would've held him or something. I would've helped you, helped him calm down maybe. You didn't see him when he thought you used the injection on him. He was traumatized."
Daddy listened to Lou for a while, but then he held the bridge of his nose, temples pounding with frustration. "Lou," he finally said, his thunderous voice barely contained in a polite pretense. "Understand that I don't enjoy scaring him. Okay? Not at all. I hate it just as much as you do. Except that I have to, because all the disciplinary shit is my job. I have to teach him to behave, Lou. Not you. If I don't scare him at first, he'll never adapt. He'll never let anything happen and he'll always fight against us. He'll never become happy like Leo. You want me to stop scaring him? Fine. Then you'll have to punish him every time he does something wrong. Scaring him's part of it, Lou. What's wrong with you?"
This left Lou speechless. As much as he hated to admit, Daddy was right about somethings. Somewhere in the tangle of blinding anger, he'd forgotten about how hard it must've been for Daddy. Lou certainly wouldn't want to be the one punishing Aaron—he'd much rather be the one holding him afterwards, trying to comfort him. "I'm... I'm sorry. I know you hate scaring him. It's just that it felt awful to see him so terrified, and I lost it." Lou's eyes scoured every tile on the floor, never once gliding up to look at Daddy. "But still, can you just please go easy on him?"
Daddy chuckled. "I know how to deal with him, Lou. And stop letting your emotions get to you. You've always been emotional. Control them," he said, patting Lou's shoulder as he brushed past him towards the door. But then he stopped just before he stepped over the threshold. He glanced at Lou. "Um, Lou? Did Aaron cry or something?"
Lou turned to face Daddy, frowning as he recalled Aaron's reaction. "I mean, he looked like he needed to, but no. He didn't."
With a sigh, Daddy shook his head and lightly slammed his fist against the doorframe. "This is a problem..."
Lou didn't respond.
Both men walked into the kitchen afterwards, and Aaron froze when he realized the two must've been talking about him. He remained tense, every muscle in his body rigid as Daddy passed by, and he prayed fervently that he wouldn't approach. Alas, he did, and Aaron could do nothing but watch with a racing heart as the captor moved closer and leant down to kiss his temple, but then his lips moved against his skin, mouthing words in barely audible whispers:
"I'm sorry I scared you, baby. But don't worry, as long as you behave, I won't use it."
Aaron thought it was terrifying: how Daddy could speak in a voice that was so quiet yet loud enough to tear his eardrums apart, how he could perfectly poise his tone on the very edge between soft and threatening. Every hot breath that left Daddy's mouth as he spoke had an ironic cold effect against Aaron's skin. And by the end of the statement, his neck had almost turned stiff.
Lou stared out of the window, his arms folded across his chest. "It's sunny today. Way better than yesterday. How about we take the boys out to the pool?"
Mommy nodded. "It is." She peeked out too, right over Lou's shoulder. "But let's wait for the sun to come out more. It'll get even warmer then."
*_*_*_*_*_*
They waited until around noon; the sun had sprung to the middle of the cloudless sky, casting warmth across the region and heating the air moderately. It wasn't scorching hot, but it was warm enough for a swim—a nice change from the string of gloomy coldness that'd passed by the last few days.
Daddy finished with Leo then changed Aaron into a swim pull-up and dressed him in blue trunks, during which he noticed that his baby hadn't used his old pull-up. It was disappointing, but he tried not to worry, instead hanging onto the hope that Aaron had learnt his lesson well and wouldn't try to hold it in for too long.
Daddy let Aaron sit up on the changing table with his legs hanging down the edge. He smiled. "You're gonna love the pool, baby."
Aaron looked away, trying desperately not to make the fact that he didn't know how to swim noticeable. He loved the sound of lapping water—it was calming in a way he couldn't even describe, like the smooth vibrations could gently break past his skin and stroke his nerves. But then the fact that he'd drown in shallow water was a sharp disappointment.
"But of course," Mommy suddenly said, holding up a bottle, "we have to put sunscreen. I don't want you getting sunburnt."
Aaron screamed internally, a loud, prolonged groan that lasted for quite a few seconds and blocked out external noises. Not the lotion shit again...
"No!" Aaron said. "I-I mean... No, I don't think I'd get sunburnt."
"Baby, don't be silly. Better safe than sorry. Trust me, if you somehow do get sunburnt, it'll be horrible. Very painful."
Kinda true, Aaron thought. He'd rather let them put the sunscreen on for safety than end up with a sunburn that would also cause another goddamn lotion scene.
"Do you want me or Daddy to put it for you, baby?"
Aaron looked at Mommy, and his mind drifted with apprehension. He could clearly imagine Mommy kissing him everywhere as she'd put the lotion, and Daddy would probably threaten him for merely breathing during the process. Aaron's eyes skipped across the room, and it was when they fell upon Lou that he realized he'd much rather have him put the sunscreen for him. At least he wouldn't start threatening and kissing him like a creep.
Mommy and Daddy followed Aaron's eyes over their shoulders, and their sights fell upon Lou. The realization rammed into their hearts like a heap of bricks: harsh and heartbreaking as they thought of it as their baby choosing Lou over both of them. Sadness washed over their faces, and their eyes read pain that entangled with distinct disappointment—visibly enough for Aaron to see clearly and worry about. He hoped they didn't think that he loved Lou the most, because that wasn't the case; he just hated him the least.
And there was a drastic difference between both perspectives.
Lou walked towards them when he noticed everyone was staring at him, one eyebrow raised. "What's going on?"
Daddy grabbed the bottle from Mommy and handed it Lou. "Put it for him, Lou. I think he wants you to do it."
Lou smiled, oblivious of how they were watching with a slight sense of sadness.
*_*_*_*_*
hii! i know everything's boring asf right now and i'm really sorry. I swear things will get way more intense and interesting. Bear with me lol.
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