Author's Note: This chapter is mainly centered on Emi and Deidara's relationship. I know this is a Sasori love story, but given their background and Emi's seemingly unrequited feelings for Deidara, I feel like this topic has to be discussed before Emi can finally move on from her childhood crush :) Anyway, I hope you guys still enjoy this! No worries, Sasori will get some love soon :)
Disclaimer: Credit for all of the characters (except for Emi) goes to the creators of Naruto.
It turns out Deidara wasn’t in his room. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t anywhere in the house. My first reaction was to panic, because he might’ve done something stupid like blow up Hidan’s room with one of his clay bombs. Deidara tends to do that when left alone. But then my panic turned into anger. How dare he leave me to rot in this house while he enjoys his time outside? Stupid Deidara. I definitely had to have a word with him when he comes back. So, I tried my best to patiently waited for him to arrive.
He came back around midnight. I had grown tired of waiting for him in the living room so I decided I would talk to him tomorrow. I was almost asleep when he came barging in my room, drunk off his ass. I was about to yell at him for leaving me and now waking me up so suddenly, but I decided against it when I saw the current state he was in.
“Emi-chaaaaaaan!” Deidara called out, his words came out slurred, and I could smell the alcohol half a mile away.
“You’re drunk.” Was my blunt reply.
I sat up and crossed my legs, motioning for him to sit on the bed next to me.
“Of course not, un!” Deidara denied as he sluggishly approached. He hiccupped a few times and I had to hold back a chuckle at his comedic actions. Finally, he managed to sit himself down. “That would be veeeerrryyyy unprofessional of me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You were never known for being professional, Deidara.”
“Oh yeah?!” he abruptly stood up, making him dizzier. I pulled him back down so he wouldn’t end up vomiting on my bed. “What am I known for then, un?”
“Well,” I began as I tucked a strand of lose hair behind my ear. “You’re known for being spontaneous, and out of control. Never professional.”
“You’re hurting my feelings, un.” Deidara pouted and clutched his chest where his heart was supposed to be.
“I never said it was a bad thing.” I continued. “You’ve had a lot of brilliant ideas because of your spontaneity. Remember when Onoki-sensei found out about the chickens we had let lose? If it weren’t for your clay bombs, we never would’ve gotten them to run back to their coop.”
“He he he,” Deidara childishly laughed. I couldn’t hold back the smile that slowly formed on my lips. “I had good time that day, un.”
“Me too,” I grinned.
Suddenly, Deidara’s look turned serious. “I’ve hurt your feelings too, un.”
I cocked my head to the side.
Seeing my confused expression, Deidara continued. “I’m not stupid. I know I’ve hurt you, un. I hurt you when I left, and for that, I am sorry.”
I shook my head, my heart beating faster. “I-it’s no big deal, Deidara.”
“But it is.” Deidara interrupted. “Sometimes, I can still see the hurt in your eyes, un. You laugh at my jokes and we talk as if nothing bad happened between us, but I can see you’re still hurting because of my betrayal.”
I bit my lip and looked down. Deidara sighed and lifted my chin with his index finger. He forced me to look him in the eyes.
“I want you to understand something, un.” His words still came out a bit unclear, but I could still make out the most important words. “I never wanted to leave Iwagakure.”
I furrowed my brows. “Then, why did you?”
Deidara dropped his hands and looked at me with an extremely serious expression. “That day… Itachi-san and Sasori-danna came to Iwagakure and asked me to join them…”
My heart pounded, and I was almost sure Deidara could hear it. Finally, after years of assuming the worst, Deidara was finally going to tell me what exactly happened to him all those years ago. To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to hear the truth right now, but I let him continue.
“I refused.” I released a relieved sigh at his words. He continued, “I challenged Itachi-san to battle me, un. If I lost, I would go with them, but if I won, they had to leave Iwagakure alone. As you probably already figured out, I lost. I was angry at Itachi-san for beating me, un. In fact, I still am. I want to beat him someday, un.”
“You could’ve told me that when you came back. I would’ve helped you.” I reasoned with him, my voice cracking slightly.
Deidara shook his head sadly. “I couldn’t leave, un. A deal is a deal. They would kill me… kill you if I left. I couldn’t let them do that, un.”
I bit my lip. “So you let me stay mad at you for something you had no control over.”
“I had to protect you, un. If I told you the truth back then, you would’ve asked Onoki-sensei for help and put yourself in danger.”
“I could’ve handled them.” I spat bitterly.
“No, you couldn’t have, un!” Deidara angrily countered. “They would’ve killed you if you interfered! Why can’t you understand that, un?”
Tears of both anger and sadness were slowly starting to trail down my cheeks. “I am not a little girl anymore, damn it! I can handle myself!”
“And what if you get hurt, un?!”
“At least I’ll die trying!”
“DON’T SAY THAT!” Deidara yelled as he stood up. He swayed a little, but he managed to steady himself. “Why can’t you realize that it pains me to hear you say you’d rather give up your own life to save me, un?”
I was taken aback by the tone of his voice.
“When your parents died, I promised myself I’d take care of you, no matter what, un.” Deidara continued when he finally calmed down. “I never told you that because I know how much you hate it when people feel sorry for you and treat you like a child. So, in my own way, I did my best to be there for you, un. You know what I said when I joined the Akatsuki? I told myself, ‘at least they took me, not Emi-chan’. That’s what kept me going, un.”
“But still they took me.” I scoffed.
“Yeah, but at least I’m here, un.” Deidara smiled and took my hand in his.
We stared at each other, communicating with our eyes.
“But that’s not my only reason for protecting you, un.”
Again, my heart pounded.
I waited for Deidara to continue, but he didn’t. Instead, he leaned in, his eyes fluttering close. I swallowed, unable to move my body. He inched closer and my heart beat faster. Soon enough, our lips met. His lips were soft and the kiss was gentle. He made his feelings clear through the kiss. I was expecting my heart to explode in excitement, because I’ve waited for so long to tell him how much I wanted to be with him. But to my surprise, I felt nothing, and this confused me. So, I pulled back.
It hurt me to see the hint of sadness in Deidara’s eyes, but I couldn’t kiss him back. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
“I’m sorry, Deidara.” I whispered.
“Yeah, I kind of figured out it was too late for me, un.” He offered me a soft smile before nodding.
“Maybe if we hadn’t left Iwagakure…”
“Yeah, maybe,”
We sat there, a silent agreement passing between us. We were never to speak of this incident ever again.
What happened that night was two friends reconciled, and they shared a kiss as a symbol of moving on from their old life and whatever feelings they might have harbored for each other.
I must admit, I felt kind of relieved Deidara and I finally talked it out. The outcome might not have been what I had expected, but it was better than constantly thinking about what might have been.
As Deidara and I sat in silence and enjoyed each other’s company, we were completely unaware of the greyish brown eyes watching us in curiosity.
The puppet master silently turned away, a hand clutching the place where his heart was supposed to be.
“Emotions are troublesome.” Sasori mumbled to himself as he retreated to his room.