"And I think that may change soon."
I held my breath, my eyes darting all over the park, my entire body frozen.
What's that supposed to mean?
"You like someone?" I blurted out.
He lifted his head from mine and turned to face me.
"I do," he said while chuckling.
I felt a slight pang to my heart...why did that hurt so much?
"What's she like?" I made a pathetic attempt to sound like I wanted to hear more about her.
He broke into a wide smile while staring at the sky, geez does he like her that much?
"She's really pretty, when she smiles..." he paused for a split second,
"I can't even describe it. When she gets all shy, I feel like my heart's gonna burst. And when I look into her eyes, god she takes me into another world."
With every sentence he said, more tears formed in my eyes. Why?
Because the person he's describing, it isn't me...there's just no way.
"I guess you really like her then?" I forced a question out.
He nodded his head,
"She makes me so happy."
I felt a tear roll down my cheek and immediately turned the other way so he wouldn't see it.
But as always, he was too quick for me and caught a glimpse of my teary eyes.
I felt his gaze on me as he continued speaking.
"But as happy as she makes me, when there's even a hint of sadness on her face,"
"My heart feels like it's being torn into a million pieces," he whispered.
I sniffled slightly, wiped off my tears then turned back to him.
But why can I see tears forming in his eyes?
"I'm crying because I miss my sister... because the park... and...memories..." I mumbled.
He blinked at me with this unreadable expression then chuckled while looking away.
"And I'm crying because this girl I like is so painfully dense."
Is he that sad? Should I... try to help him?
"If you give me her number... maybe I could tell her..."
I saw him closing his eyes, pursing his lips together, and taking a deep breath.
"It's okay let's go"
"Are you sure-"
"Soori, I'm sorry but stop talking I'm going to lose my mind." He practically begged before walking off, dragging me by the wrist.
I stayed silent the whole walk, completely distracted with my infinite thoughts.
Or should I say, one question that I thought about infinitely.
Who is she?
I wanted to know her name, where she was from, where they met, I wanted to know everything.
Of course it hurt, it hurt that the very moment I knew what he meant to me, I realised that I wasn't the same to him. But what could I do? The way he grinned so widely, the way his eyes sparkled, the way his voice was so full of love when he talked about her
He was happy, and that was all I ever wanted for him.
"Hello? Earth to Soori?" I got snapped out of my thoughts upon hearing Taehyung's voice.
My eyes looked around to survey my surroundings, we were back at the hospital.
The two of us stood outside, his fingers still wrapped around my wrist, and then sighed simultaneously.
There was just so much reluctance to go back in, when we just got out.
"Do both of us a favour," he started to speak, staring up at the building.
"Plan tomorrow such that we won't ever have to come back." I chuckled, how did he know what I was thinking.
We walked in with matching, dreading footsteps and were immediately engulfed with the strong smell of sanitiser.
It was only when we earned a few stares from others when Taehyung let go of my wrist. We took a lift up to our wards and were greeted immediately by Haeri unnie.
Her eyes, they looked so lifeless?
And for the first time in a while, she walked past us, without saying a word.
Taehyung and I turned to each other with concern in our eyes. Something was not right, that was not Haeri unnie, at all.
I quietly walked to my room, taking the slowest steps just so I could be with Taehyung for those few seconds longer.
And the weird thing was, his pace matched mine.
I halted when I finally stood in front of my room door. I don't want to go in
"Why are you just standing there?" Taehyung asked while in standing in front of his room door as well.
"What about you?"
"Just thinking about someone," he said staring at me.
Is it...
"Her? The pretty one?" asked carefully.
"... The dense one, but yeah."
"What are you thinking about?"
"About how much I like her." Ouch
"Like I said, I could help-"
"Bye Soori, I'll see you tomorrow?"
I nodded my head slightly confused, both at the way he cut me off and how he was still standing there after saying bye.
"Go in first," he finally said.
I didn't want to, but still listened to him.
The room felt suffocating, but I had to get used to it. The next 5 days were just a privilege, not a norm, and I could not allow myself to get used to the fresh air.
I laid on my bed, staring at the stars on the ceiling.
And then I thought about Haeri unnie and remembered the look on her face. My eyebrows scrunched up thinking about what could have happened.
Just at that moment, she walked into my room lifelessly, then sat down on my bed
Her eyes were looking down, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she managed to whisper.
Sorry? For what? Then as if she read my mind,
"that you only get 5 more days." So she knows...
I was fuming, Taehyung's dad said that whatever we discussed would only be between me and him, but honestly what did I expect from someone like him?
"It's okay, you don't need to feel sorry," I reassured her, but tears fell from her eyes.
I wanted to engulf her into the tightest hug, but her pager sounded, and so she had to wipe her tears, collect herself, and rush to save someone's life.
When she slammed the door in a hurry, I took out my phone and for the first time, initiated a conversation with the devil.
"What the hell?! You said it was between us." I almost yelled into the phone when he picked up.
"But that wouldn't be fun." This bitch
"So what I can tell Taehyung? The more the merrier? Is that how it is?" I retorted back.
He chuckled, of course, it was all fun and games to him.
"Go ahead, the sooner he knows the better."
I hate him.
"Don't bring anyone else into this."
I then ended the call, not wanting to waste anymore energy on him.
But no matter how much I hated to admit it, he was right. The sooner Taehyung knew the better.
The less it would hurt him, and me. But how could I tell him?
My mind felt so congested, so messy with thoughts, I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
And when I opened my eyes again, they travelled to the diary at the bedside table.
It's been a while...
I picked it up and scribbled:
D-5
————————————————
a/n:
wow it has been forever hi! hdjsjdow sorry i was just so caught up with other commitments in school and all.
anyway this chapter is full of question marks so i can torture everyone while you all wait for a painfully long time until i update again
ok now more importantly, dear diary reached 2K reads HOW I DIDNT EVEN UPDATE 😭thank you so so much i'm overwhelmed honestly. i've said before that i never ever thought that this book would get so far, but the support and love is really so amazing please i dont deserve any of it <3
ok short dedis:
shcyndcl we dont say cheesy things to each other but thank you for being there from the start literally would not have updated at all if it werent for you. ur book is crazy good it's getting so much support and honestly? deserve.
my_boo_i_u joy you baby me so much but literally best mom i love youuu thank you for hyping me up and for always being so excited for an update you give me so much motivation to write djwjdkwo I! LOVE! YOU!
bangtastic_bae bae...really miss our daily convos about like, anything at all, but thank you so much for supporting me all the way you are really no. 1 <3 anddd i love your books even though i am WAY BEHIND the updates i promise i will catch up soon
BYVNTAE GURL FIRSTLY im not over wrong number that masterpiece and you really came at us with thats gay and now i can't stop laughing at my screen. but you're so FUNNY thank you for supporting this book i love u ❤️
hoe_for_yun_hoe idk if i mentioned before but you were the first person who i didn't know irl who commented on my chapter, and that was really big for me. thank you for your endless support and i LOVE your books sm
there are SO MANY more people i have to thank but everyone reading this now, whether you just started reading dear diary or have been here from the start, thank you so much for giving me and my amateur writing a chance. it means the world that people are supporting me and i'm so thankful :")
ok this is so long so i will end it here but i promise i'll keep going even though i have the WORST update game i won't ever give up on this book.
HV AN AMAZING DAY WEEK MONTH YEAR I LOVE ALL OF YOU ❤️❤️❤️