richie tapped his hand on the cafeteria table, ignoring the perfectly edible sandwich in front of him.
"when i was little, my sister, used to play the stupidest songs on the piano—and by the way, the only song i could ever play on the piano was chopsticks, which i tried to play to impress a girl in third grade. it didn't work. the same girl asked me to a grade five dance and then blew me off for a fucker with braces, acne, and glasses. i mean, he was basically me! i don't know what she wanted. anyway, i've now forgotten how to play chopsticks," richie went on, telling a story that none of them were really understanding. this was normal.
beverly, whose head leaned on bill's shoulder, sighed and closed her eyes. bill ate a fry and stopped listening to richie, knowing it was going nowhere. mike was lost in thought, staring at the plate where bill had just picked up a fry. beverly fumbled her hand around for bill's, who reluctantly let her take it. his fingers barely closed on hers, while her fingers gripped his knuckles.
"where was i? right, so, she played dumb songs. i remember one of them, i think it was from a tv show. um, what show was it, wait, hold on," richie's hand had sped up tapping on the table and bill exhaled through his nose, annoyed. "adventure time! i think. was it? wait, i dunno. she also really liked other shows. not that i care. i don't remember them."
"beep beep richie, oh my god." beverly voiced her thoughts, and richie's hand stopped tapping abruptly. only for a moment, and then he shifted his hands and started rubbing his nails together, making a strange wood-like noise.
"oh. sorry. i did it again, didn't i? i honestly don't mean to, i just get lost in thought, and then i can't stop talking and i—" richie started up again, beverly closing her eyes once more and squeezing bill's hand. mike pursed his lips and looked up to bill. he motioned to the fries, can i? and bill nodded. mike took a fry and took his eye contact to richie.
"i really l-luh-luh-liked adventure t-tuh-tuh-t-tuh-tuh-t-fuck! adventure t-tuh-time as a kid," bill added, his stutter getting the best of him. beverly leaned further into him, and bill leaned a little further away.
"that would make a really sad dubstep song. stuttering bill, attempting to be the king of t-t-t-t-t-t's," richie laughed, no one laughing along with richie. bill looked down, his eyebrows twisting upwards. mike and beverly both shot a glare towards richie, mike's glare a little more kind-hearted. richie opened his mouth to say sorry, but he didn't know how to phrase it without sounding stupid. it wasn't that mean, was it?
beverly moved her hand to rub it up and down bill's arm. mike looked to bill with concern. richie remained speechless for a second. bill pushed beverly away from him, grabbing his bag and standing up.
"i have a cl-cluh-class to get to. early seats." bill mumbled, swinging his bag around his shoulders. mike nodded, mouthing "see you later" to him. bill smiled weakly to mike, and walked off to the class. as he walked away, he shoved his hands in his pockets. richie knew it was a lie. there were still 15 minutes left of lunch.
beverly frowned, putting her bag on her shoulder and standing up as well. she looked to richie, scoffing angrily. she ran away as well to go after bill, but mike stayed in his seat. he looked rather inconvenienced, but he stayed sitting across from richie. mike shrugged.
"you know he's sensitive about that. maybe keep the comments to yourself next time." mike offered advice, richie still scratching at his nails. he shrugged.
"i didn't mean it like that." richie said, telling the truth. he knew he came off a little rude sometimes, but he didn't mean it like that half of the time. richie found it challenging to keep his comments to himself, honestly.
"yeah, well. next time, i guess," mike muttered, eating slowly at the fries remaining on the plate in front of where bill had sat. richie nodded, trying his hardest to keep his mouth shut. he shivered, and felt uncomfortable in the dead space between them.
"um, my point with that story was that one day while percy was playing songs, i hit the piano with my foot to piss her off and ended up breaking my ankle. why was i telling that story? fuck, i don't remember. anyway, that's the only body part i've ever broken. i don't know how strong that fuckin' piano was, but my god. or maybe i was just young. little children are so fragile, i would love to just kick the shit out of a kid. not in a harmful way. just in like, a hypothetical situation way," richie continued talking through the dead space, mike once again zoning out a little. mike would laugh pitifully on occasion when he heard something just a little funny. richie was now shaking his head every now and then.
while richie kept talking, mike felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. he pulled it out and opened it underneath the cafeteria table. he might have not been paying attention to richie, but he didn't want richie to outright know that. he saw a message notification, and started texting that person, still humming every now and then to richie's story. he noticed the time.
"i gotta go richie, i have to meet with thea to see what i missed yesterday at key club yesterday," mike stood up, his backpack already in his hand. richie stopped talking and nodded, understanding. he knew he wasn't the priority. that was a little bit of a given.
mike casually strolled away towards the library, and richie's eyebrows furrowed. richie shoved the paper plate with a sandwich on it away from him. he brought out his own bag, scrounging through it. he slapped a notebook on the table, as well as some earbuds. humming to a song that wasn't even playing yet, he untangled the earbuds and plugged them into his phone. he turned his phone on, ready to take notes from a class he hadn't gone to yesterday. he found he couldn't focus on it, and he kept forgetting what he was writing down. eventually, it turned to scratchy doodles. he scribbled and scribbled, thinking about bill getting so offended. frustrated, he ripped the page out, balling it up and throwing it away from him.
the last bell rang, finally, thank god, and richie hopped up and out of the classroom. he slinked to beverly's locker, where the four had originally planned to meet up so they could hang out. he found bill and beverly already there, beverly already glomming over bill. bill saw richie and looked away, a little pissed.
"hey, bill, i'm sorry about what i said. i didn't mean it to be mean, it was just a joke," richie decided to cut himself off before he said anything else that would be misunderstood. richie didn't make eye contact, feeling rather apathetic about the whole thing. bill finally looked up.
"okay," he replied, accepting richie's apology, who tried to smile. beverly squeezed bill's hand, and bill looked away. beverly used her other hand to organize stuff in her locker. a silence hung in the air around them. richie bit his tongue and rubbed his nails, trying to stop himself from talking. after all, awkward silence was better than annoyed silence, right?
"god, where is mike?" beverly whined, bill rolling his eyes when she couldn't see. beverly closed her locker and wrapped her arms around bill, who tensed up a little. he relaxed as soon as mike arrived, waving and panting.
"sorry guys, you know how lilian keeps students late. sorry." he apologized, referring to one of the woodwork teachers.
"no" richie thought, "i didn't know lilian keeps students late." he internalized it and nodded as acknowledgement upon seeing mike, rubbing his nails more and more aggressively. mike noticed, but stayed quiet.
"g-guh-glad you're here, mike. let's go," bill said, beverly letting go of bill to take his hand. they walked away, richie and mike following behind. richie pulled on his backpack strings, anything, anything to stop him from talking. mike's hands fit right into his hoodie pocket, staying quiet as well.
they began their walk to bill's, richie concentrating hard on not being obnoxious. he had good friends, he shouldn't fuck this up for himself again. once a day, only once a day. less, if richie was dreaming. richie honestly wasn't aware of how intensely he was fidgeting until mike looked over to him,
"you okay?" mike asked, richie looking down at his hands, which were flapping up and down. he stopped flapping them, going back to scratching his nails. he nodded to mike.
"yeah, i'm okay. i didn't realize i was doing that. shitty habits," richie lied through his teeth, mike taking it as truth without a doubt. richie took that a little sourly, but he didn't expect much more.
"babe, you barely ate your lunch today." beverly was making small talk with bill, and so richie chose to focus into that sound. richie thought beverly's voice was annoying, but it was very easy to pick out a of a crowd.
"w-wuh-wasn't hungry. you don't have t-tuh-tuh-tuh-to check up on my eating habits like you're my mom," bill replied, seeing beverly's face drop. he squeezed her hand for once, and her pep and energy reappeared.
"i know, i just get concerned for you, bill." beverly said, swinging their arms.
"yeah. sorry. i eat fine, i juh-just lost my app-puh-puh-pe-pett-appetite. and i hu-had a couple fries." bill mumbled. richie, despite making fun of his stutter, conventionally liked bill's voice. it was deep and surprisingly husky, mostly because he was quiet so much of the time. he liked mike's voice as well, it had a tinge of care in it. maybe it was a pitch thing.
"are you kidding? mike ate most of those," beverly joked, looking back at mike for a moment. mike frowned and crossed his arms. he looked down, scuffing his shoes.
"he didn't eat that many. he had like, what, 4? they make like 25 fries per little basket and you're gonna blame mike?" richie couldn't help himself, he had to add in his thought on the conversation. beverly looked at richie weird, and bill gave him a strange glance as well.
"it's okay, thanks richie," mike elbowed richie, giving him a small smile. richie smiled back. he looked back to beverly, who had turned her head back to bill. maybe he was overreacting. apparently he did that a lot. honestly, richie couldn't care less that beverly had insulted mike indirectly, he just needed to be on someone's good side. and it sure as hell wasn't going to be bill or beverly, so mike would do. he was the nicest, anyway.
richie kept pulling down his backpack strings, pulling his backpack as high up on his back as he could. when he had fully stretched them, he went back to scratching his nails. he stared at the ground. beverly and bill went back to talking, and richie wished he had gotten his earbuds out of his backpack before they had left. bill kept inching further and further away from beverly, who was trying to be as close to bill as possible.
"watch it, bill," richie grabbed the back of bill's backpack, pulling him off the street, and back onto the path which bill hadn't noticed he had wandered off of. the moment after richie pulled him back, a sports car ran down the road, zooming past the four teenagers. bill froze, staring at the spot that he had been standing in. richie kept walking, mike having to tap him to look back. bill looked from the spot to richie, realizing richie had just possibly saved his life.
"thu-thanks." bill said quietly, richie shrugging and pursing his lips. his fingers continued to fidget, and then he continued walking.
mike mouthed are you okay? to bill who nodded, but then shook his head in disbelief. mike patted bill on the back, and then backed away at beverly's look. he raised his eyebrows in annoyance out of her line of vision and caught up with richie, beverly and bill now walking behind them.
eventually, the four of them ended up at bill's house. they walked in, greeting bill's parents, and they made their way downstairs. bill sat down in a chair, and he let beverly sit on his lap, his hands on her thighs. mike sat on the couch by himself and richie sat in the other chair, his legs hanging off the arm rest. beverly was playing music on a speaker. richie hated the music. he didn't like much when it came to beverly. he couldn't play his own music in his earbuds either, because the noise would be too much. instead, he settled to zone out, his feet flapping mid-air.
"hey, bill, you know eddie?" mike asked, uncomfortable with the silence, and the way beverly was shifting on bill's lap. he didn't really like it whenever they were affectionate in public.
"kaspbrak? y-yuh-yeah, why?" bill responded, leaning his head out from behind beverly's neck.
"he brought you up last key club meeting, saying you wanted to join?" mike questioned. bill sighed, but with a trace of a grin on his face.
"yeah, he thuh-thinks he convinced me to join. i s-suh-said maybe. not really my thing," bill answered, mike nodding. "he tries to g-guh-guh-get me to join a new club every english cl-cluh-class, i swear." he said, earning a chuckle from mike. bill laughed with him.
"that sounds like him." mike mused, thinking about the uptight boy.
"eddie kaspbrak is the germaphobe, right?" beverly tried to join the moment, bill humming an agreement.
"he has a fucked up mother from what i heard from greta, she's insane," richie commented, half-unaware he was thinking and listening until he spoke. the others looked to richie, and he realized he had made an insensitive comment again. "sorry," he mumbled, back to staring at the ceiling.
about half an hour later, mike was listening to richie ramble again. after all, it was that or listen to bill and beverly make out in the corner, and mike was not a fan of that. he was willing to bet that he might have been the number one hater when it came to bill and beverly making out. richie was half rambling so he wouldn't have to hear it, too.
"so the song is super cool, because the first time i listened to it with earbuds, i had both in, so i didn't realize that it was earbud based, right? and when i listened to it with just the left earbud i could only hear the voice and i honestly thought my phone was fucking broken. really cool though! you should listen to it," richie found himself able to go on for hours about anything. he kind of hated it about himself.
"i think i should go," richie said, mike shaking his head.
"don't leave me to third wheel, please," mike pleaded, richie snickering and standing up.
"hey kids, stop fucking for a second," bill and beverly looked over to richie, and mike put his face in his hands, "i'm heading out. i'll see you guys tomorrow," richie gave a sort of final salute.
bill nodded, and noticed mike sitting on the couch, hunched over. bill basically pushed beverly off of him, and joined mike on the couch. beverly sat down sourly, fixing her hair. richie noticed them lull into conversation, not even really getting a "goodbye" and he left the room. he picked at his nails once again, their cuticles absolutely wrecked from his habit. he roughly put his feet in his shoes and, earbuds and bag in hand, began his walk home.
at home, richie walked into silence, aside from the sound of his mother typing away on her keyboard in her office. he shut the door extra loud, awaiting a response. when he heard nothing, he dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes. he walked to his bedroom, and it was only once he walked by the office that his mom spoke.
"i checked your calendar, you forgot to take your meds today. also, you're seeing your father on sunday. put that on there." his mother said, glancing back to meet eyes with her son. he nodded, letting out a giant exhale through his mouth.
"fuck! that's why i... goddamnit!" richie groaned, his mother glaring at him for the swear word used. he slammed his back against the wall, causing a picture frame to tilt a little.
"i know you have a bigger vocabulary than purely cussing. i shouldn't let you use that language, but here i am," his mother got up, walking over to the frame and straightening it. she walked back to her seat, richie mimicking her behind her back to no one in particular.
"yeah, yeah, sorry." richie cursed under his breath. once he was sure his mother had turned around, he tilted the frame again. the frame was for some stupid achievement pj had gotten. the hallway was full of them. probably wasn't that important.
the moment he stepped into his room he opened a drawer rather violently, bringing out a pill bottle. he struggled to open it and got frustrated. he took a moment to breathe and began to try and open it again. successfully popping off the cap, he took two pills and swallowed them. he closed the bottle and threw it back in the drawer. he walked over to his calendar, feeling a little stupid. he always felt dumb every time he used the sticker system his mom had set up for him so that he could keep track of when he did and didn't remember to take his meds. muttering profanities again, he peeled a sad-face sticker and stuck it on that particular day. grabbing a pen, he scribbled "dad dinner or smth. pj ?" on that sunday.
after taking a shower, richie melted into his bed, turning off his light and throwing his glasses off onto his dresser. one of these days they were going to break, he knew, and he'd get in big shit, he knew, but it was kind of funny. he felt upset. again, he had fucked up with his friends. yeah, maybe he'd kinda redeemed himself, but couldn't he just be normal? jesus.
it's not like i need them, he thought, it's just nice to not have to sit alone in the cafeteria.