Trigger warning: Briefly mentions depression
The doctors tell me they want me to stay the night for observation, and eventually, Evie has to leave to go take care of the kids for the night. I'm so tired though, that it doesn't take me long to fall asleep .
—
"Sam? Sam?" I wake to a deep voice, tearing me from all the dreams swirling around in my head.
I open my eyes, to see him leaning on my bed post, hands in his pockets, he's... Taylor.
"T-Taylor?" I get out of bed and run toward him, as he spins me around.
"W-what are you... how?-"
"It doesn't matter," he says, putting me down. "I needed to see you."
I'm so caught in all of this, that I start crying. At first my tears sprout from joy, disbelief that this all is happening, But my tears slowly melt to rage.
"I loved you more than I thought I could love anyone outside of my family," I tell him, honestly, looking him right in the eye. He looks as real as he ever did. "And you lied to me. You didn't let me in... you never let me in. Always kept everyone at arm's length. Who was I to you? Was I just another person to hang around with so you didn't feel alone? Did I mean anything more to you, at all? Because Taylor, I'll tell you I was pissed when we had to find out what we did from your parents. You're not even here anymore, and I'm so damn pissed at you. Because... you... because you made me love you, and then you left without me ever knowing if you loved me! I mean, obviously you didn't or you woulda told me.... because people who love each other... well they're supposed to be there for each other... and I... I woulda been there for you."
"I know you woulda," he shrugs, "I just... well... I couldn't tell ya. I tried really hard to be able to, I just... I never could... and my depressive episodes, they were only a part of me, Sam. A part I didn't want you guys to have to remember."
"There's no shame in it," I say.
"I know," he says, pulling me into a hug again. "It was just hard to talk about, so I didn't. And I know I wasn't good at the whole... us... that whole thing. But I did really love you, Samara Jacobs. I know you might not believe me right now, but I never had a doubt about that."
—
I hug him again, burying myself in his t-shirt. And somehow he shows me every happy memory we'd made, all at once.
And he says,
"You were there for me in more ways than you could possibly know. I'm gonna be there for you, Sam. And Liam. I'll always be here for you both.... forever. Ok?"
O-okay," I say, and I gasp for air as tears rush down my cheeks.
"Taylor?" I say, pulling away from him, holding his hand in mine. "I love you. I'll love you forever."
"Forever," he echoes, kissing me.
—
Suddenly a gust of wind enters the room, tearing him away from me, particle by particle, until I'm left with nothing.
—
The next morning, I wake up, feeling like Ive had the best sleep in ages.
And that same gust of wind enters the room again. If I listen really closely, I think I can hear it whisper: Forever. I smile and look up toward the ceiling.
"Forever," I whisper back.
—-
"Well Sami girl, you've been through quite the ordeal," Lydia says, driving me home once I'm discharged that afternoon.
"One that won't happen again," I say, as I climb inside her Honda.
"It better not," Lydia says, a slight chuckle in her voice. "Evangeline would be so lost without ya, kiddo. You two are the closest sisters I've ever seen. And you know, I guess, I don't mind having you around, either." She smiles, starting the car.
"I love you too, Lydia," I laugh.
—
When Lydia and I pull into the driveway, I see all of my siblings including Evie, standing on our front lawn, with a handmade sign that reads : "Welcome Home, Sami!"
"You guys!" I exclaim, running toward them. "I was only gone for one night!"
"We're just glad you're okay," Evie says, giving me a hug as Ursula pulls at my necklace and lets out a giggle. "Right guys?"
"Yeah!!" they squeal in unison, as if they've been practising.
"Alright well, why don't you kiddos go inside and get your jackets?" Lydia says, kneeling down to their level. "We needa make sure Sami gets her rest, so I'm taking you guys to the movies."
The theatre is only a street away from our house, so it's a convenient place to take my siblings when we need a break from actively supervising them. Nobody is a better babysitter than The Big Screen.
—
"Alright, you guys know the drill," Evangeline says, as she zips Bethel's coat up. Hold hands when crossing the street, never go anywhere without a buddy, and what's the last one?"
"Do what Lydia says!" they scream, all four of them linked together in a chain formation, with Lydia leading, as they near the end of the driveway.
"We love you all!" Evie hollers after them.
—
Evie, Ursula and I head up the porch stairs and into the house. Once we get Ursula down for a nap, Evie and I fling ourselves side by side, onto my perfectly- made bed.
"You scared me, Samara. You scared me real bad."
"I'm so"-
"No, Samara. I don't need to know how sorry you are, I already do. I need to know that you won't do anything like that again." She sits up, looking me right in the eye. "No matter how angry you get, no matter how intense the feelings get, no matter how much you just want to escape whatever you're dealing with at the time, please talk to me first. Please promise to let yourself cool off before you ever get behind the wheel of a car. Okay?"
"I promise," I say quickly. I can see how much this whole incident has hurt Evie. How worried she must have been. And I don't wish that on anyone. Especially her.
"Alright, well get some rest, Sami." she says, kissing me on the forehead. "I love you, sis."
I pull my covers back, drifting to a deep and this time dreamless sleep, as soon as my head hits the pillow.
—