July 4, 2018 - Turks and Caicos
White sand beaches and coastal waters, bikinis and beers, Fourth of July was a welcome break from crazy tour schedules and sleeping on airplanes. It was their official honeymoon, even though it was months after they had gotten married.
In Turks and Caicos, a small resort where the girls had booked a few day trip months beforehand, Taylor and Grace were sitting on some chairs under an umbrella, Grace with a book in hand and Taylor with just her drink and phone.
"How many pages do you have left of your chapter?"
"Three," Grace replied softly without looking up.
"Do you wanna go swimming when you're done?"
"Above the neck. You left too many hickeys last night."
The blonde chuckled, "I'm not even sorry."
"I know you aren't."
Once she was finished her last page the brunette stood up, holding her hand out for her wife to take. They brought both their drinks with them, standing in the crystal clear waters and looking down, Grace screamed, "There's a huge fish right there!"
She clung onto Taylor although the older girl laughed at her, "It's a tiny little fish, babes."
"What if it's a piranha?" Grace said with fear while she climbed onto Taylor's back, trying to avoid the fish no bigger than her palm.
"I don't know what it is but it's not a piranha, they are freshwater fish and this is salt water. I didn't know you were scared of fish."
"Maybe I'm not afraid of fish and I just wanted a piggy-back ride, hmm?" Grace asked as she rested her head on the singer's shoulder, carefully holding her beer out of the water.
"Then you would've climbed on without screaming," Taylor retorted with a dry laugh, using her free hand to grab Grace's arm to keep her from slipping off.
They watched the fish swim around Taylor's legs before going away, Grace finally getting down and standing with her own legs in the water, "So I might be a little bit afraid of fish."
"No kidding!" The blonde smiled, pulling her drink to her lips and taking a slow sip, "I'm going to go get the snorkels from by the chairs, you done with your beer?"
The heiress nodded and handed it over, looking down and seeing the fish return, "Hurry! The shark is back!"
Taylor rolled her eyes with her back turned to the younger girl, returning a moment later with the gear so they could get a better look at the seashells and minnows in the water. She helped Grace put it on, making a funny face so she could hear Grace laugh through the tube.
"Okay," Taylor said before she put her own snorkel on, "If we see a sea urchin while using these things, run."
Grace pulled the snorkel out of the mouth and replied, "Don't run next to the sea urchin, step carefully, it won't chase you. Only run if there's one of those little shark assholes."
"Gracie, they aren't sharks. That fish was so small and harmless."
"And when they bite your leg off, I'll remember you said they were harmless."
Fed up with the conversation, Taylor grabbed onto the mouth piece of the heiress' snorkel and pushed it into her mouth to shut her up, an adoring smile accompanying it so she wouldn't end up in trouble.
Grace crinkled her eyebrows up to show her disapproval, making the blonde laugh slightly and kiss her cheek. It was slightly bulged out because of the plastic piece in her mouth, making her look a little bit like a squirrel before winter trying to collect acorns.
When they went back to the room later that evening, they were surprised to see pictures of them all over the internet, from walking along the beach, sitting at their little set up or swimming in the water.
"We got spotted," Taylor sighed as she turned her computer towards the brunette so she could see it.
"Does it say the resort name?"
"No."
"Can you see my hickeys in the pictures?"
"No, this was before the make-up washed off."
"Then don't worry about it," Grace replied, "We're leaving in two days anyways."
They were sitting on the bed, freshly showered with room service on a tray in between them. Grace was snacking on the last of their french-fries with her hair in a bun, shorts and a t-shirt lining her frame. Taylor had her wet hair dangling past her shoulders as she sat in a bra and sweatpants.
"Okay," she agreed softly, shutting the lid of the laptop, "What's the plan for tonight?"
"I don't know, to be honest I'm not in the best place right now."
Taylor frowned, "What's going on? Do you want to talk?"
Grace shrugged, "Just thinking about how by now Sam would've been born."
"Aww," Taylor sighed, "I'm sorry, baby girl."
The singer moved the tray a bit so she could scoot closer to Grace, engulfing her in a warm embrace that the younger girl leaned into quickly. While the blonde's long arms surrounded her body, Grace snaked her arm around Taylor's torso so try and get closer, the feeling of Taylor's warm skin very soothing.
"My due date would've been last Monday, I calculated it online so I don't know how accurate it is but we could've had a baby last Monday, Taylor."
"How does that make you feel?" Taylor questioned softly, her hand running up and down Grace's back absently as she listened to the sadness in the girl's voice.
"Sad," Grace answered with a low tone.
They had been trying really hard to maintain the communication and honestly with each other, things were good almost all of the time but when they became tough, it was just a rough night, not a rough life.
"And is there something I can do to cheer you up or make it a little less upsetting for you right now?"
"We're on our honeymoon, I don't want to turn this into a thing, sorry," Grace apologized as she began to sit up, "I think I might just go down to the gym and run a couple miles, try and shake this feeling."
"Hey," Taylor said softly, "You don't have to do that, hun. We can talk about it if that's what you need to do, I promise you I don't mind. If not, would you mind me coming to the gym with you? We don't have security and I'll just worry otherwise, especially cause you're sad. I can be quiet and let you think, I would prefer you not go alone though."
"We've done a lot of talking about it, I just need to clear my head. Walk on the beach instead sound okay? The sun is going down."
"Yeah," Taylor agreed, "That sounds nice, let me put some clothes on though," she added with a dry chuckle.
"If I wasn't upset I'd make a joke and ask if you had to," Grace said as she pulled a hoodie over her body and changed from shorts to sweatpants, just in case they ended up getting photographed again.
"I think you still did," Taylor replied, "That's the sweater I was going to put on."
"It's my sweater."
"No it's not, it's definitely my sweater."
"No, this is the same sweater I wore the first time I snuck into your apartment. It's definitely my sweater, I remember that night completely," Grace argued, watching as Taylor slipped a different one over her frame.
"Then you would remember that you stole that sweater from me before we even started dating."
"I did n-" Grace paused, "Oh shit, yeah I did."
Taylor rolled her eyes and she pulled Grace in for a hug, "That was the first time we slept in the same bed together while both sober. You called me baby that night while you were half asleep."
"That wasn't an accident either, I had some serious feelings for you ever since we kissed that December. I wanted to see how you'd react."
"Babe," Taylor chuckled with a grin, "I had asked you out that morning, why did you need to see how I'd react?"
"I was worried you were gonna flake out on me again," the brunette answered honestly, Taylor's hands falling from her shoulders to her hips.
"I really put you through hell for a long time, didn't I?" Taylor asked softly, her smile falling and a look of guilt washing over her bare face. She wasn't just talking about the period of cat and mouse they played for a few months between the admittance of feelings and the conversation to pursue them, she was also talking about everything after that.
Grace nodded before pushed herself against Taylor again, her teeth sunk into her lip in a nervous habit, "I'd go through it a million times over though, absolutely worth it."
"You're the cutest thing in the whole world."
"No, baby, that's you," Grace replied.
Taylor suddenly picked Grace up with a small laugh, "We're not going for a walk, we're just going to sit on the balcony and cuddle because you're mine and I'm not letting go of you."
"Ever?" Grace asked, an innocent sounding question that Taylor knew was more of Grace asking if Taylor ever had doubts about them.
"Ever, Gracie. You're mine forever."
She brought them out to the bench that overlooked the ocean, Grace standing on her own two feet so that Taylor could sit down before she sat next to her and felt the blonde put an arm around her shoulder.
Watching the waves brush up on the shore while they sat in silence, the sunset casting a golden hue that made Taylor's eyes shine against the light, Grace looked over at her wife and said, "Thanks for changing the topic, I didn't want to be sad tonight."
"It wasn't on purpose, you've just been stealing my clothes for three years and I want my sweater back."
Grace chuckled as she leaned her head back down on Taylor, "It's my sweater now."
"Alright," Taylor smiled, she wasn't going to fight it.
"Oh, you remember how Karlie and Will were worried because Landon still hadn't said his first word?" Grace asked a couple minutes later.
"Did he finally start talking?" Taylor asked with wide eyes, their nephew being a man of very few words, in fact, none at all even though he was well over a year old.
"I was on FaceTime when he did it! He said 'bye', isn't that cute? Karlie was talking and they looked at him and asked if he could say something to me and I was just hoping to get a smile or a coo or something but he said 'bye', I'm so mad you missed it but you were still asleep and I wasn't going to wake you up."
"Landon's first word was bye?"
Grace nodded, "Yeah? I just said that."
If I say what I'm thinking she's going to think I'm crazy.
"That's cool, I'm so glad he's finally talking. Maybe on the next album instead of James saying something at the beginning of a song I can get Landon to sing with me, that would be fun," Taylor said playfully before placing a kiss on Grace's head.
"I don't know if Karlie and Will want to pimp their son out the music industry just yet," Grace chuckled, "What aren't you telling me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're using that tone of your voice that you only use when you're avoiding saying something. I know you, Taylor. What are you thinking about?"
"You're going to think I'm insane."
"Try me."
"I think there's something really weird about Landon's first word being bye. He was born the same day Michael died, your mom said you guys fell asleep just like Landon did, Landon always clings to you more than anyone else when we visit them and now his first word was bye and you always wished Michael would've said goodbye. He even said it on call with you, Grace. It's weird."
"This is another one of those 'Sam would've been a girl because Austin met Samantha the weekend Sam would've passed' things, isn't it?"
"Yes, I don't like coincidences. It's too much, babe. I don't think anything is a coincidence. You believe in fate, I know you do."
"I do," Grace replied, "But for my own sake I'm not going to associate Landon with Michael for all the reasons you just said. I don't think you're insane, I just think we shouldn't do that because it is crazy, Tay. I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm just saying the whole idea is crazy."
"Yeah, you're right," Taylor said softly, "I think Sam would've been a girl though. I'm sticking with that."
"We'll never know but I kinda feel the same, either way Guppy is still very loved and missed."
"Mhmm," the older woman agreed, "Do you wanna go back inside now and maybe put on a movie and order ice cream or something? Just have a nice quiet night?"
The sun had almost disappeared and in the absence of the glow left a colder and less fulfilling atmosphere, all Taylor wanted was to cuddle up with Grace in the bed and rent a movie on the resort's TV.
Nodding, Grace stood up and said, "I think we should see if one of your concert movies is available."
Taylor knit her eyebrows together, "No way, this is my break from tour."
"I'm kidding," the brunette replied as they opened the screen door and stepped back inside, shutting the curtain behind them, "If I wanted to see you dance I'd look at my Instagram feed."
"I still can't believe you conned me into giving you the Taylor Nation password. One of these days they are going to realize that all of the random posts an unseen pictures are you and when that day comes, I will change the password on you."
"No you won't," Grace said with a smile as she climbed into the bed next to Taylor.
Taylor shook her head, "No, I won't."
"Being married to you is the best thing ever, I hope you know that. Like, why did we spend so long dating and engaged?"
"There's a thing called the closet... don't know how familiar you are with it anymore but it's really hard to step out of, especially when you're famous."
"Okay, yeah yeah, I get it. What kind of ice cream do you want?" The brunette began to dig through the drawer next to the bed for the room service menu, having already misplaced it since they ordered dinner a while before.
"Surprise me," Taylor answered, scooting over in the bed and sitting right next to Grace so that when she pulled the menu out, Grace was engulfed in her embrace again.
"Clingy tonight, my love?"
"Little bit," the singer hummed as she traced circles on Grace's thigh mindlessly.
"Like I said, best thing ever."
"Agreed," she paused, "Definitely think a bowl of cookie dough or bowl of vanilla, what do you think?"
"They have homemade chocolate caramel, that's your favourite," Grace pointed at the list on the desert menu.
"You're my favourite," Taylor smiled before kissing Grace's cheek.
Blushing, the heiress said, "That doesn't help me order ice cream though."
"I said surprise me, whatever you want. I'm probably not going to eat very much anyways."
"You're the one who wanted to get ice cream."
"Yeah," Taylor replied, "I'm pretty satisfied with this view though."
God, Taylor, you're such a cheeseball.