The morning sun peered into the bedroom of our little house in Winchester. I lay in bed wide awake, as I had been unable to get a single moment of sleep all night long.
I look over to my sleeping husband who has his strong arm wrapped around me tightly. I smile, brushing a strand of his hair out of his face. Uhtred is so peaceful and still as he sleeps, complete opposite to his warrior ways.
My heart aches as I remember once more that this morning when he awakes, Uhtred is to leave Winchester with King Alfred for a battle against Wessex. With every passing minute I grow more and more worried that this could be the last time I sleep next to my husband. I had to stop the continuous thoughts and what ifs, for my heart couldn't bare it.
I know Uhtred is a great warrior; probably the best. I don't doubt his skill but I fear that if he makes one wrong move or faces one larger Dane on the battlefield, that he will not return back to me in Winchester.
I feel Uhtred stir beside me and I watch him as his eyes flutter open. Our eyes meet and I am captivated by his ocean eyes. He smiles, pulling me closer to him in a hug. "Good morning." He smirks.
I smile widely. "Good morning." I greet. "I assume you slept well?" I question, to a now wide awake Uhtred. He lifts his arms over his head and stretches. "Very well." He answers.
I am jealous of this, as I was unable to sleep for even a second over my constant worrying. I couldn't understand how men could sleep so effortlessly the entire night, knowing that the next morning they would be riding into battle and in most cases, dying a gruesome death on a battlefield.
Uhtred sits up and rests his back against the wall of our bed. He pulls me over and up onto his lap. He chuckles as he does this and I squeal in surprise. I face him him now, straddling him. Being distracted by him I laugh also, while resting my hands over his broad shoulders and blushing slightly.
My husband places his large hands onto either side of waist, securing my position. My hands now fall down his arms, trailing over every vein and muscle, and back up again to his shoulders. Uhtred watches my expression change from laughter to sadness.
"What's wrong?" He asks with deep concern in his voice. I avoid eye contact with him.
I want to show him that I am a warrior's wife, supportive and strong in his leaving for battle, but I just can't seem to hide the fear I have. My husband is my life, there is only him and I. I would be devastated if he ever left me to be a widow. A single tear rolls down my cheek. As soon as I realize it, I wipe it away quickly with the back of my hand.
Uhtred squeezes my hips gently. This action causes me to look back at him. "Why are you sad?" He now asks. His face holds concern and his eyes look deeply into mine, searching for the answers I am not providing.
"I do not want you to leave me." I say, looking away shyly once more. "I fear for your life on that battlefield." I admit. Uhtred sighs. Timidly I look back at him and I can tell from his eyes that he understands my fear and concern.
Uhtred smiles small, "I will return back to Winchester." He replies. He raises his hand up to my face and his fingers brush softly under my chin. "I will return to you alive and well." He promises.
I sigh in thought. As if Uhtred is to know of all the answers? After all he is the one that always says, "Destiny is all!" So how was he to be so certain of his own life? He is not among the Gods, and he does not decide one's fate or his own.
"How can you be so certain?" I then ask. "It is for the Gods to decide, is it not?" I add.
Uhtred chuckles and a smirk pulls at his lips. "Because," He begins, "The Gods love to watch me fight. So I am certain this will not be my last battle." He says. Uhtred leans forward, inching his face closer to my own. Before our lips are about to meet, he whispers another assurance to me. He cheekily says, "Valhalla is not ready for me yet."
I am grateful that my husband continues to reassure and comfort me. I believe every word that had left his lips. If Uhtred had made me a promise that he'd return, I knew he would come back to me.
I smile from his previous answer and he mirrors my expression before pressing his lips to mine. Our kiss is passionate and gentle, filled of longing and love. He extends his arms fully, wrapping them tightly around my entire waist. Uhtred is to leave very soon and so I know we can't get too carried away, so I slowly pull away. I place my hand over the side of his face and he leans into my touch.
After a moment, Uhtred lifts a hand from my waist, up to my chest where a pendent he once gave me rests. He looks at it and traces his fingers over the shape of Thor's hammer. After being distracted by the jewelry, he looks back up to me. I smile and then decide to remove the pendant necklace from my neck.
"Here." I offer, extending it out to him and placing it around his neck now. "To keep you safe and give you strength." I say, staring at the pendant on his chest. Uhtred smiles and raises his lips to place a small kiss on mine.
"My beautiful wife." Trails Uhtred in amazement. "You are too good a woman." He compliments.
"For you alone? I know!" I joke back in reply. Uhtred is surprised by my cheeky response and laughs aloud.
Being his wife for almost a year now, I have learned of Uhtred's way with words and his banter, and could joke just as he does. Pleased and amused by my response, he says "The Gods have made you for me. I'm sure of it!" He continues to chuckle. I laugh lightly at his reaction. It pleased me to make him laugh.
Just then we hear a pounding at the door and the voice of Finan call out, "Lord! It is time to ready for our journey! The King's men are already through packing!" He shouts from behind the door.
Uhtred looks to the door and shouts back at Finan. "Yes, I'll be right there Finan!" He calls. Uhtred rolls his eyes and sighs. He then looks back to me and smiles. He moves his back away from the wall and places his hands over my face, cupping my cheeks. He tilts my head downwards and places a soft kiss on my forehead.
I shuffle off of Uhtred and stay seated on our bed. He stands and begins to dress. I watch as he puts on each garment of clothing.
I feel sadness take over my emotions once again, as I do not want him to leave me. I think he notices this, so occasionally he looks over to me with a silly face or a smirk and I laugh or blush accordingly.
Next Uhtred places on his protective attire for battle. I stand and walk over to him to help lace up every piece.
Still noticing my sadness and wanting to change it, Uhtred stops me momentarily every few seconds to kiss my lips, neck or face, causing a loud giggle from me and contagious laughter from him.
Finally I walk away from my husband and over to his sword. He meets me halfway and I turn to hand over the weapon. Uhtred smiles down at me and takes the sword from my hands, placing it over his back where it usually belongs.
Uhtred grabs my hand gently and pulls me towards the door. I trail behind, but plant my feet firmly to the floor before Uhtred can reach for the door handle. My reaction causes Uhtred to turn back to me. He looks puzzled for a moment, but then realizes my hesitation to let him walk out that door.
A smirk pulls at Uhtred's lips. He turns and takes a step closer to me, placing both his hands on either side of my waist. Looking down at me, he sighs and says "I promise you that I will be back soon. Remember what I told you..." He trails, lifting one hand to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I will return home." He emphasizes once more, looking deeply into my eyes. I nod slowly in reply.
I look back up at Uhtred, memorizing every single feature of his face. I focus on every feature, his piercing blue eyes, his charming smile, and even the battle scars across his skin, because I know that once he leaves Winchester I wont be seeing him back for a long while.
"I'll miss you terribly." I say to my husband, without even realizing that the words had even escaped my lips. Uhtred sighs once again, "I'll miss you much more." He says, pulling my body closer to his. I lift my arms, trailing them up from his chest and around his neck. We embrace in a tight hug for a moment, but are interrupted once again by a thick Irish accent.
"Lord! I don't mean to bother, but all the other men are ready on their horses!" He shouts from behind the wooden door.
"Yes Lord, It is true! If we don't go now, they'll leave without us!" The voice of Sihtric adds in a panic.
Uhtred sighs and we pull away. I notice Uhtred's annoyance to the two men as he rolls his eyes and chuckles lightly. Then my hand is taken and led outside by Uhtred. We are both greeted by Finan and Sihtric who await impatiently on their horses.
"Good morning, Lady Y/n!" Both men call out in unison with a bow of their heads. "Good morning." I reply polity with a smile.
Letting go of my hand, Uhtred walks over to the stable to grab his tied horse. With his momentary absence, I walk over to Finan and Sihtric.
Looking up at the two men and making eye contact, I mention them both to lean in a little closer so Uhtred wont hear my words. "You both will watch over him on the battlefield, wont you?" I ask them privately in regards to my husband. "Please." I add, not so much asking but commanding.
Finan and Sihtric both nod. "Of course, Lady Y/n!" Sihtric replies. Finan perks up, "You have our word. We will watch him like a hawk." He jokes. We all laugh lightly and I begin to feel more at ease. I was glad that Uhtred had Finan and Sihtric, two loyal companions and skilled warriors to fight along side him.
Just then we are all startled abruptly when Uhtred speaks up loudly. "I do not need watching over from these two! It is me who will have no choice but to watch over them!" He jokes after eavesdropping on our conversation. He stands a few steps away and holds his horse by the reins.
I turn and shake my head with a smile as I walk back over to Uhtred. When I am close he embraces me in a hug, kissing the top of my head.
Outside, within the town, it is busy and loud in conversation. I can hear the faint noise of busying warriors preparing for their journey, quick laughter, and sobs from many women. So many families are being separated from the men of their households. I begin to feel antsy once more, the worry that wont seem to shake.
I hold my husband tighter. "Do not die." I joke halfheartedly, trying to keep the mood of this moment lighthearted. Uhtred chuckles softly. "Well I am not planning on it." He replies cheekily. Uhtred pulls away slowly at arms length, and leans his face in closer to mine. I allow him to kiss me goodbye. He pulls away and turns to walk over to his horse.
I grab his hand before he can pull himself up onto his steed. "Uhtred, wait." I call. He turns back with furrowed brows. Abruptly I embrace him again and lift myself onto my toes to kiss him goodbye once more. I can feel him smile and relax through the passionate kiss we share. Once I pull away I smile up at him and he smiles widely back at me. Uhtred kisses my head and then returns to his horse, pulling himself up onto his trusty steed.
I step back and cross my arms over my chest. I guess a sadness is evident on my facial expression because the voice of Sihtric speaks to me.
"Don't worry Y/n, we will make sure Uhtred comes back home alive and in one piece." Sihtric reminds me with a smile. He also says this as a tease at Uhtred, so all men laugh aloud and I smile. "Thank you, Sihtric." I say in response.
Finan and Sihtric wave a goodbye to me and slowly ride with the crowd of warriors beginning to leave the town of Winchester.
Uhtred grabs onto the reins of his horse with both hands and smiles over to me one last time. "I'll see you soon. Don't forget my promise." He reminds.
"I won't." I reply with a smile. Uhtred then extends his hand out and I take it. He lowers his lips to the back of my hand and leaves a soft kiss.
And then my husband is gone, meeting with Finan and Sihtric, and riding off to battle with the King of Wessex leading the way.
I knew Uhtred would return home because he had promised me so. But when he will return? This I am not so sure. He could be gone for days, weeks, or even months. I guess only time and destiny will reveal when I will be reunited with my husband once again...
After all "Destiny, is all!"
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