The next fews days are the most painful for Jennifer. Not only does her fear, heart and guilt has put her in a dilemma but the news of the show been cut off is pushing her as well. The project being not only her best friend's dream and hardwork but also their show. The show that introduced her to him, the man she will probably not see if it ends.
She sighs, Harshad has become close with the enyire cast, especially with Naihal and Anirudha so she might definitely see him on occasions, festivals and birthdays and such but that will be it.
The thought itself constricts her heart making it heavy and she blinks her eyes going over her lines till she is called. She never thought her life would take such a turn of events, never thought she will ever feel so deeply about a man again, especially Harshad.
A man who is so different from her usual taste, a completely different personality, a man opposite of complex, down to earth, a true gentleman. He was shy, sometimes lacking confidence but still able to hold his own, had no pretence whatsoever, you get what you see, something rare and incredibly hard to find in an entertainment industry.
He was like a breathe of fresh air for her that managed to somehow set her free and suffocated her at the same time.
And now standing right across him waiting for the instructions to begin Jennifer couldn't help but take him in. Her heart beating rapidly by his smile and sparkling that held excitement for the shot. And it boggled her mind always how he could just seperate his personal life at work.
Jennifer had accepted to be welcomed with hard ,wary eyes or even ignorance due to her indecisiveness, a skill she rrealized this morning that she has cultivated through the recent months.
The shot is called and Harshad gets into his character, the story have taken a suspense thriller mode once again as Aditya and Zoya are trying to figure out the killer while acting as if their marriage is coming apart. The whole scene and the next one goes flawless till it comes to the Aditya-Zoya romantic cute moments.
Its then the chills run down her body as they giggle and fight cutely. A smile forming on her lips unintentionally as she watches him be his goofy-self. A gasp leaving her lips silently as her cheeks turn deep shade of pink, matching her blouse she thinks as he pulls her to him, his lips barely touching hers. And she will never get over his professionalism.
Anirudh calls it a cut giving them a thumbs up and a wide smile before focusing on the crew. Her assistant appears right beside her in an
instance and hands her a bottle of water. She gratefully takes it from her drinking
some water as she watches Harshad talk to their makeup man. She so desperately wants him to say a word to him although a part of her is thankful that he is not in her business. But the fact that he hasn't attempted to even talk to her once has left her a bit uneasy.
Any conversation is better than no conversation at all.
She asks for her phone before the assistant can excuse herself, grabbing it quickly and unlocking it to distract herself from him, she stands their scrolling through the notifications on instagram going through them one by one.
She doesn't even have to look up to know its him. His voice so familiar and deep grazing her ear and she listens with bated breath.
"Meet me once we are done for the day"
She looks up only to see him walking away.
With apprehension she goes to her chair and sits down waiting for the briefing of the next scene.
-
It's night around eight o'clock that pack up is announced and a small meeting is held were Aniruddh with a heavy heart let's everyone know their current paradigment. The situation and possible scenarios are discussed among them with Aniruddh having a word with her privately as they reach her trailer.
It was no new news to him that Jennifer is being offered other shows and projects. A fact she never shielded at all, always been transparent with him. She has not locked anything as of yet as initially they were going to discuss her timings and accordingly she was going to select her projects. She had also pushed Beyhadh 2 for future as she was currently working on this show and had no energy to do two at a time. But now with the current situation Aniruddh let her know that the chances of saving the show are pretty slim and she should not keep others on hold anymore.
She had halted right infront of her trailer turning towards him "Ani, I know. But I am still holding. Signing anything right now will feel like a betrayal. We will see what happens and then take it from there, okay? "
Aniruddh said nothing but only nodded at her engulfing in a side hug both of them knowing they have to take a professional call very soon. Jennifer patted his back and wished him goodnight before opening the door and climbing inside.
She quickly changes into her casual clothes letting her hair loose and grabs her belongings leaving her trailer. She rushes to his, noticing the light coming from inside and walks in.
"You wanted to meet me" is all she says as she closes the door waiting for him to finish his bottle of water. She watches him finish it up, her eyes grazing his naked torso as he bends to his side grabbing his shirt.
"So, what have you decided?" he asks straight away without any beating around the bush while facing towards her, his head down as he carefully buttons up his shirt.
With a gulp Jennifer steps closer to him having no clue what to say to him other than she hasn't made a decision. She curses in her mind knowing how pathetic that sounds. She herself feels pathetic at her situation so she stays quiet not wanting to disappoint him, knowing full way she will if she says those words.
After a moment of silence where Jennifer thinks Harshad will nod and understand her, will be disappointed no doubt but will understand her somewhat but she couldn't believe she was so erroneous about him as she watches him shake his head, lines appearing on her forehead as he takes a look at her before turning his face to the mirror on her right.
There is another moment of silence which now Jennifer desperately wants to fill.
He sighs closing his eyes as if trying to pinch his nose to calm himself down as he says "I see"
Wanting to explain her distress she starts, clutching her purse to het side "Its risky Harshad. We both are....it's risky"
But she is paused by Harshad who is now staring right at her, eyes cold black as he asks, his voice surprisingly sad instead of the dark that she knows it turns into whenever he is pissed off or angry "you don't see us together, you mean? It's risky for you to be seen with me?"
His words make her loose her balance and she gaoes at him "Wh-what? What are you -"
But he cuts her off asking before answering himself, the tone of his voice changing rapidly turning deep, curling his fingers at his side as he moves closer to her in the confines of the place "Is that it? That's it, isn't it"
"Harshad what are you saying?" Jennifer is bewildered to say the list never imagining him saying all this about his ownself and others.
"Exactly what you are thinking! And oh god " he replies before pushing his fingers through his luscious black hair as his mouth curls into an '0' as if realizing something.
"Harsh..." Jennifer whispers to him her eyes raking all over his face unable to stop him as he continues, his voice small yet angered, mostly talking to himself before he points at her "No no no, I get it. I, well I had my doubts, your doubts as well. You are well you"
"It's not like that. It's risky for me, personally-" she says moving closer to him hoping she can get through him, she doesn't want him to think any less about himself because that is absurd but he cuts her off as he continues his chain of thoughts breaking her heart with every word "And I am definitely not like Wahi or Sehban or your other friends, co-actors. I am not like them and I dont earn that much either. I mean, I am senior actor sure-"
She grabs him by the collar smashing her lips with him unable to hear him putting himself down, not able to hear the evident hurt in his voice and to see the look in his eyes, the pain she feels she caused with every word he spoke. And therefore, she grabs him smashing her lips to his, colliding their bodies as she pushes him back to her dressing table, his hips hiting the corner of the platform as his arms snake up on her hips, one palm flat on her back pulling her close.
She pulls back before he can deepen the kiss and creates some space between them as she speaks, her voice firm "Stop! What even Harshad?! What are you saying?! Do you think I will even be thinking that way? Is that what -" she sighs, removing her hair from her face as she takes a deep breathe closing her eyes before continuing, "I was...it's too much. All this is too much. The show is ending, you're...you're too much. And this, us...I was not prepared for this Harshad"
Her eyes locks with his as she reveals herself to him, giving him a glance, an idea of herself ,her past and her fear "I was, last time I dated a costar it definitely didn't worked for me. My life fell apart and it has taken everything in me to piece myself and my life up together"
And Harshad's gaze softens, her heart going to her as he watches her struggle to keep herself up. He knew she is not letting herself open, knew this was something related to her broken marriage but it is the first time after that night in bed that he was seeing her vulnerable.
"Its not you Harshad. Its not anything that you're thinking. But it is you, you are the reason I am here. You're the reason I am fumbling to hold on to because I am exhausted"
She places her palm on his heart as she continues "I cannot and will not ever deny this attraction. Hell, it is not even an attraction anymore. But Harshad, I need time. I want time. I want to jump you right now, I want to touch you and want you to touch me but it is wrong. It is wrong because I am with someone and I can't do this to him anymore. And I can't do this to you either"
She goes on her tip-toes planting a soft kiss barely grazing his lips before pulling back. She grips tightly the lapel of his shirt as she whispers "I cannot afford to piece myself back up again. I don't have the strength. So please, give me sometime"
He nods slowly as their eyes lock and she tries to smile at him through her pain but the later is evident to him and he let's go, his expression one of understanding and with that she turns around leaving him behind hoping to find answers soon.
***
Victory!!
I haven't felt so satisfied after writing a chapter. I have managed to write so well after so fucking long. I don't know what was up with me before but I think I am getting my groove back. M back bitchessss!
Today words just flew in my mind as I started writing.
Anyways,
Thoughts on the chapter?
What do you think Jennifer will do next?
Who do you guys think she will choose either of the boys or herself?
Vote and comment on the story, give it all the love
Love
Ri x