Perfuma was in the middle of her meditation routine when I walked into her quest room at Bright Moon. I was hoping to maybe spend some time before she left tomorrow but it seemed that right now wasn't a good time. So, I slowly opened the door again and turned to walk out. My feet hit the floor slowly and silently.
"I know you're here, Y/n."
Turning around to face Perfuma again, I smiled nervously. I was caught red handed.
"You're the only person who visits me at night, the day before I leave to my kingdom."
I nod my head. "I mean...it's tradition right?" Chuckling, I walked closer to her as she pat the space beside her.
"Nothing but a friendly tradition." Perfuma took a deep breath and relaxed. That was when I was reminded of why I wanted to come to her room so urgently.
"I actually have something to say about...that." Clearing my throat was proven hard to do before I could fully start talking again. Perfuma urged me to go on by opening her eyes and nodding in concern. "So...you are familiar with the term gay, right?" I started to crack my fingers nervously as it was a habit of mine when put under pressure. Perfuma reaches out with her own hands and clasped my hands in hers.
"Of course." She smiled. "Are you gay?" Her eyes bore into mine and her hands never left mine. My whole body shivered and I felt myself start a cold sweat. I started shaking in nervousness. She'll accept me for who I am so why am I so nervous? Hesitantly, I nodded and cast my eyes down to my lap.
Without warning, she tackled me in a hug, almost sending us tipping over but I kept us steady. "That's great! You're so brave for telling me this Y/n." We parted quickly and she held my shoulders at arms length. "I'm so proud of you." Her smile was to warm. Her eyes sparkled and were filled with stars. Oh how wonderful. "Is that it?" Her eyes never leaving mine, but I forced myself to look anywhere else but her.
"No...I...I like you..."
"Well, I like you too."
The answer was too light hearted for us to have been thinking of the same type of 'like'. "No, I mean, romantically, Perfuma. I like you...romantically." My gaze was put onto the floor as I felt her hands leave my shoulders. Those same hands hugged herself. "I don't want to make this awkward between us. You don't have to answer right away but...I would like to get one soon."
I finally gathered my courage and willed myself to look at her once again. She looked uncomfortable and her eyes shifted from one place to another. "Y/n...I don't know what to say." Perfuma stated as I pursed my lips together.
"It's okay. Now, I'll let to get some rest before Frosta starts bangin' on your door for monopoly." I let out a light hearted chuckle to lighten the mood. It seemed to have worked as Perfuma chuckled with me. "As you know, I won't be there to see you off. So, bye Perfuma, I hope to see you again soon." Letting out my best smile, I stood up and exited the room.
The only thing I thought about on the way to my own room was the look on Perfuma's face. The way she looked so uncomfortable. I did that. I'm a terrible person. I should've just stopped when everything was still doing great. Before I unlocked my room, I wiped my tears. I stared at my hand that was wet with my own tears. Since when have I cried?
The next few months continued the way they did before. The princesses would have a meeting in Brightmoon and I was there to oversee it as a guard. Perfuma seemed completely normal, like I hadn't confessed to her the month before.
Nothing seemed to have changed between the two of us either. We would take walks like normal, have picnics like normal. Have late night conversations the night before she was sent out to leave. It was just like we were normal friends. We are normal friends.
Part of me wanted to ignore the fact that I was still waiting on an answer. I was convinced that we could just forget I ever said anything that night. We certainly treated like nothing happened. I was so scared to loose Perfuma that this continued for months. Months eventually turned into a year. And a year had turned into two.
I was getting impatient. I needed to know, I didn't want to be left hanging.
On the day that she arrived at Brightmoon, I decided I would confront her about my worries.
"Hey, Perfuma." I greeted as I went in to hug her. Her hugs were just as tight as two years ago. I then took notice of the young man beside her. His name was Bow, if I remembered correctly. "Hello." I greeted him aswell, shaking his hand. He replied with 'hey'.
"Y/n! I have to introduce you to Bow!" She gestured to me and Bow, "Y/n, meet Bow." Then she gestured from Bow to me, "Bow, meet Y/n." We laughed and shook hands again.
"Bow is my boyfriend."
What?
Perfuma had managed to get herself a boyfriend before answering my question I had asked two years ago. Before I knew it, I felt agitated. She could've at least told me her answer a bit earlier.
Composing myself in front of them with my best ability, I smiled, painfully. "How long have you guys been dating?" I had to atleast know for how long I had been worrying myself of Perfuma's answer.
Perfuma seemed to have let on to why I had such a forced expression and the reason behind my question because she hesitated with her answer. In turn, Bow answered for her. "Seven months." His smile was warm and he wrapped an arm around Perfuma's waist gently in pride. Wow. This guy really likes her. But...Seven months?! How come I never knew about this?
I let my expression change to surprise. "Seven months? Wow that's a long time!" Smiling wide, I suppressed my tears. I cracked my fingers behind me in nervousness, a habit I haven't cured in two years. Perfuma wanted to say something but I cut her off. "How come I never knew about this for seven months? Princess Perfuma and I are, like, best friends." Bow smiled at the ground.
"Well, she wanted to keep it on the down low until just last month. She wanted to tell you then but heard that you were quite busy with other duties." He explained like there was no problem that existed between Perfuma and I.
"Well, I must say Princess Perfuma, I am quite hurt." I saw the moment that the Princess realized I had put her title in front of her first name, something I never had done ever since we became really close.
There was silence for a while. Though the silence wasn't awkward, it was tense. Taking that as my cue to leave, I smiled and bowed towards the couple as I dismissed myself, walking in the direction I had come from. If only I had asked a year ago, maybe I would've....maybe... A familiar sensation gripped my chest. My stomach and heart felt heavy and I felt like I could throw up. It was a sensation that suddenly became a regular feeling for me two years ago.
It felt like I wasted my time. I had kept loyal to Perfuma for two years. Never going out to see other people, turning down confessions, and never thinking of the consequences. Yet there was Perfuma, who had moved on. I guess it was my fault for expecting something more. Everything was perfect when I was just her best friend.
Knowing I need to heal and get rid of the confusion and agitation that the situation brought me, I avoided Perfuma. I knew the mere sight of her would reopen my wounds and butterflies would come out, so I even requested to change my post. I now stood outside the palace to keep guard. I stood there day and night, no sleep. I only slept on the two days given to me in the week and in those two days, that was all I did. I slept and never exited my room.
This continued for a while.
This fragment of time just like my years waiting for an answer turned from months to a year. Then from a year to two years. I never saw Perfuma, and Perfuma never saw me.
-(3rd Person POV)-
It's been two years since Perfuma had seen Y/n. Her relationship with Bow no longer existed. This came to be when he confessed to have developed feelings for another pink haired princess, Glimmer.
During these two years, Perfuma felt so alone yet surrounded. She felt surrounded my so much duty but so lonely with no one to talk to about her troubles. Her usually go-to people we no longer in connection with her.
Regardless, Perfuma thought of what Y/n was doing everyday. Was she thinking of me? Perfuma thought. But Y/n couldn't be thinking of her, she soon realized. The look that Y/n had that was supposed to be happy was far from it. Perfuma had never seen such a forced expression on Y/n's face before that very day. Her eyes and mouth looked happy, but Perfuma knew fully what happy looked like on Y/n.
When Y/n was happy, her eyes would scrunch and her smile was start small. That was the moment that Perfuma had etched into her brain for a split second before Y/n would break out into a full smile. The smile extended forever and seemed to brighten anyone's mood. Her perfect teeth all aligned would blind anyone who looked directly at it.
The smile that Y/n forced was nothing like the smile Perfuma loved. Her eyes wouldn't squint but widen instead and her mouth would smile but the outline of her lips were not the natural way she showed Perfuma those many times before.
For that, Perfuma felt guilty. She felt guilty for taking that smile from Y/n. But it's been two years since she's seen her at all. Maybe Y/n was smiling, but for someone else. The thought made her stomach churn.
Maybe it was time to talk to Y/n. Like, really talk was what Perfuma thought. They had been apart from each other go so long that any conversation that would arise would be awkward.
The Princess made the decision and started towards Y/n's room in the castle.
(Y/n's POV)
I took off my armor and flung the metal pieces across the room, landing with with a thump and clang. Quickly stripping myself of my clothes until I was left in my undershirt and underwear, I belly flopped onto my bed. Letting out a huff of relaxation, I slowly started to close my eyes.
It must've been at least a few hours before I woke up to the sound of knocking and a soft call of my name. Too tired to care who it was, I got up and pulled on sweatpants and opened the door before questioning who was there.
All of the drowsiness left my body when I was met with the sweet scent of flowers and a familiar Flower Princess. My drowsiness was replaced with irritation at the sight of my once admired Princess.
Her hair was longer and her robes were different. The light pink was replaced with almost a deep red, something I never thought the princes would ever wear.
Recovering from my shock, I greeted the tall woman. "Princess." I bowed and stood tall, barely containing the roll of my eyes.
She looked taken aback at my words, glancing down to think before uttering the words that I wished I heard 3 years ago. "We need to talk."
Smiling with forced respect, I stepped aside and held out my hands towards my room. "Then by all means..."
I closed the door behind her as she stood in the middle of the room. Perfuma looked around my room, taking in the changes that had I had made.
There was no longer a calendar on my wall, one that Perfuma used to give me every year. My pictures I had in frames hanging up or on the tables were no where to be found. My bed sheets were no longer a colorful blue but now a dull red. The closet that held all my clothes when exploring the kingdom looked as if it hadn't been opened in years.
"Your room looks different." Perfuma stared, still drinking in the major differences made to the room.
"Well, I just didn't have time to keep cleaning everything. So I just leave everything plain." I responded. My posture never waning. I was speaking to a Princess after all.
Perfuma stepped closer to me. The way we would always use to be. "You don't look well." Her hand landed on my forearm, like all she wanted to do was for me to hold her hand. But I didn't, I was only a mere soldier after all.
"You look well rested, Princess." Diverting the attention to her. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens to say something else but closes it again.
"You...keep calling my Princess, Y/n." Her eyes dropped down to the floor. "You never used to call me Princess." The hurt in her voice was evident. All I wanted to do was pull her closer to me and hold her. Tell her that whatever answer she has for me was enough for me to stop working so hard to distract myself. But I didn't, because I knew that my heart would flaunt back to her again only to be broken.
"You are a Princess. Are you not?"
Tears finally made way to her eyes and trickled down her face. Her hand grasped my arm tighter like she was trying to hold on to something that was slipping away.
"Not with you! I was never a Princess with you, Y/n."
Her eyes were trying to search for something on my face but to no avail. "You were my friend, Y/n. What happened?" I scoffed under my breath. "Why did you stop talking to me?" She finished. Her pause signaled that she wanted me to speak. To finally say something.
"Because you didn't need me and never looked for me." I answered her finally. "I needed you, but it felt damn wrong to go somewhere looking for something when there is no point." My voice raised a bit, causing Perfuma to release my arm and take a step back. I caught in to this movement and let out a bitter chuckle. "I shouldn't have opened that damned door if I knew you'd be here. You don't even look like you want to be here yourself." She went to say something but I cut her off. "Just go, Perfuma."
Finally saying her name, I let my shoulder slump and my back relax. I gestured to her that she was free to leave if she wanted to.
"I'm not leaving."
Her voice rattled in my head. The strong voice of a powerful Princess that fought many wars. The same voice I heard so many times before.
"I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving because you don't want me to leave." She took a step closer to me, causing me to take another step back.
"You- I didn't say that I wanted you to stay-"
"But you said you needed me and I don't plan on leaving anyone who needs me." She takes another step towards me, again, making me take a step back once again.
"I don't need you." I take in a deep breath to keep myself from crying at this point. Her hair, her warmth, her scent, all familiar and something I was foreign to for too long.
"You say that but you hold me so tightly, Y/n." Her hand squeezes mine back. What?
I retract my hand from hers that I was holding onto so tightly but she only squeezes my hand even tighter from keeping me from leaving.
"Let me go. You- you don't need me in the way that I needed you- you're making this so much more complicated- just let me go-"
She did the exact opposite.
She pulled my hand closer to her with so much force that I stumbled into her. She caught me with her body and embraced me so tightly. Her face hurried itself into my hair and her hands made smooth motions on my back. My hands laid outstretched at her side until she spoke to me again against my shoulder.
"I need you too. It took me so long to understand. I was scared of all the feelings that I was feeling but now I know. I know now that I need you the same way you needed me and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to figure out."
My arms also found the strength to embrace Perfuma again. First softly, then I squeezed her closer to me as the familiar feeling of being hugged by her spread throughout my body. I shivered and hugged her tighter, missing the action.
Without knowing, I had started to sob into Perfuma's robes. Relief and joy washing over me as I shook and was held by Perfuma. She kept making motions on my back as I cried on her.
"Oh my stars. Perfuma, I missed you so much." I sniffled as we pulled apart. "I missed being your friend."
"You want to be friends again?" Her face showing disbelief.
"I mean...Yeah, if that's not too much?" I started cracking my fingers one by one in nervousness.
"For me... I feel like it's not enough." Perfuma said softly. I almost had to strain my ears.
"What do you mean not enough?"
Perfuma sighed and played with the ends of her hair. "When I realized I needed you more than I thought I did, I had these fantasies....and it was of you and me kissing...but! We don't have to do that! I was just wondering about if we could kind of maybe do that..." her voice trailed off getting quieter and quieter until she just stopped speaking all together.
I was dumbstruck. Perfuma wanted to do things with me. She wanted to kiss me. "Let's take it slow for now, okay?" I took my hand in hers and led her to the bed. "Come and cuddle with me for 24 hours. Then We can figure out what to do next, Yeah?"
She cuddled into my side and draped a hand over my stomach as I placed my chin above her head.
"Yeah."