~~Once Bitten~~
As the backing track to olive garden came to a close, Aaliyah let out a breath letting her eyes flutter open, taking her hands from her headphones before looking up to Xavier, who was still busy making adjustments with his soundboard, his brows furrowed and his mouth slightly parted in concentration. Aaliyah despite herself took the chance to take in his appearance, he had his hair styled into twists, some falling into his eyes as he worked. She noticed the new bandages around his fingers on his right hand. She was sure they weren't there the last time she had seen him, which was only a few days ago, she wondered what happened.
Aaliyah cleared her throat gaining his attention and he looked up to meet his gaze, his twists flying back out of his face. He raised a thumbs up, before looking back to his soundboard distractedly, "Uh, that was a good one. I still think that the last hook should be sung in a higher key though."
"Well, we can try it out and see what works," Aaliyah suggested, "But I feel like it might be a little out of my depth, not going to lie."
Xavier was still working the board. "You've got a lot better, Lia. You'd be surprised at what you can do," He said in a distracted voice, though Aaliyah couldn't help the flutter in her stomach at his words, "Either way, we still need a few more run-throughs for layering, but otherwise, we're almost done with three-quarters of the songs on your album."
Aaliyah grinned. "And that's seventy-five percent of my album finished!" Aaliyah pumped her fist in the air before taking her headphones off her head and hanging it off the mic stand before moving back into the control room where Xavier was. "Never been so relieved to be three-quarters done before," She said slumping into the seat beside Xavier, who only chuckled shaking his head.
Xavier snorted. "It's not like when you're done you'll be any less busy," He said, turning in his chair to meet Aaliyah's eyes as she hopped up onto the table by his soundboard, "Once you're finished with your album, promotion begins, you get more interviews, photoshoots, tours and even more performances. Blair is already starting to discuss plans for your US tour." He said, flicking a lever before turning to look at her.
Aaliyah felt exhausted just listening to him. She made a face before sighing, letting her shoulders sag. "Wow," She grumbled, "Way to bum me out," She said rolling her eyes.
The corner of Xavier's mouth tilted upwards in a crooked smile, his dark eyes squinting a little. "Actually, I was trying to lead up to a question," He said, and Aaliyah shot him an expectant eyebrow, with her arms crossed. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I want you to sing around you for your album."
Aaliyah frowned. "Around you?" She echoed not sure what he was talking about, "Which song is that?"
"The song I showed you last week in the practice room, remember," He said, and Aaliyah thought back to the day in that room. She hadn't really been able to get that day out of her head, remembering his words, his smile, his face. He literally was the most beautiful boy she had ever met, she wondered how he always seemed to be by her side when she needed someone. It was an eerie gift, but a welcome one too, "I know it doesn't really tie in with the whole theme of your album, but—"
"Of course, I would," Aaliyah breathed out in a smile, "It's a beautiful song, and technically, I did help with writing it."
Xavier rolled his eyes, but his smile was unmistakable. "You helped with one line, though I suppose that means you should get some credit," He said in a low voice, raising his head a little, squinting a little as he usually did in thought, "And it still needs some work, maybe perspective should be changed a little so it suits you better. We also need to create a track for it before May. It shouldn't be so hard either, considering we're basically done with the rest of your songs—"
Cutting Xavier off, was the rap on the door that made them both look to the door as it opened slowly with a creak. It was Jacks, smiling pleasantly at Aaliyah, "Oh hey, I'm not interrupting, am I?"
Aaliyah sat up on the table smiling back at him, but before she could reply, Xavier beat her to it. "Well, I was saying something," He started, his eyes narrowed, but a cool smile on his lips almost deceptively charming, though Aaliyah thought she could see through it, "So you kind of are."
Jacks cocked a brow at him, and Aaliyah thought she could choke on the build-up of testosterone in the room. She quickly stood to her feet as though to cut through it. "Sorry Jacks, I know you were coming for four, but we've been so busy, time must have caught up with us," She said shooting a quick smile in Xavier's direction, who seemed to return to his normal scowling self, looking back at his soundboard.
"It's okay," Jacks said after a moment sparing a suspicious glance in Xavier's direction, before returning with his normal smile, "Are you ready now then?"
Aaliyah opened her mouth but realized that she had no real idea. She looked to Xavier questioningly and saw that he was looking at her and he shrugged. "We can finish Monday, and start working on the song then too."
Aaliyah nodded, smiling graciously at him before picking up her bag from beside her seat and hurrying up to Jacks where he stood still at the door, still staring at Xavier. Aaliyah turned to look at him over her shoulder and couldn't help but smile as he returned to his soundboard. "I'll see you, Xavier," She said taking Jacks by the hand dragging him away. She found herself remembering what Jacks had told her on her birthday, and she worried at her bottom lip, as she looked at Jacks behind her, hoping that it was just his crazy talking and not actually what he thought.
"It's been almost three hours and I don't feel anything, am I immune to this shit or something?" Aaliyah mused staring up at the ceiling of Light 'Em Up's dance studio.
After her session with Xavier, she, Jacks, and Blair drove over to Tribeca to the warehouse to "chill" as Blair had put it, but what that really meant was peer pressure her into smoking weed with them.
At first, Aaliyah had flat out refused at first considering the interview with Callie Green she had at the label at ten AM the next morning, and she still didn't really feel all that prepared for it, despite all the practice runs she had with Xavier throughout the week as they finished recording all her songs. She doubted that getting high the day before didn't seem like the most responsible idea, but once Jacks and Blair had hit their first blunt together, they spent the time between that and their next one trying to convince Aaliyah to loosen up.
"Come on, Aaliyah," Blair whined, stretched out across the bean bags in the corner of the room lazily, "Take the stick out of your ass for once."
Aaliyah tried not to scowl at that, the last time someone told her she had a stick in her ass it ended with her seeing dancers in candlelight, but she didn't say that out loud. There was no one who knew about that night besides Xavier, and something in her wanted to keep it that way. Jacks had nuzzled his head into the crook of her shoulder stirring butterflies in her stomach and she eyed him affectionately. "Please," He murmured into her neck kissing her softly, the musky smell of weed clinging to his breath, to his skin. All she could see was Xavier's scowling expression, "Just one puff."
Two blunts later, and Aaliyah felt numb to her core. "Aaliyah, this is the fifth time you're saying that since that first blunt." She was sure it was Blair speaking, but she also somehow thought she could hear Lauryn's reproachful voice in her ears. Was she back in San Diego?
She lifted her head quickly, twisting her body around on the ground so that she could meet Blair's amused expression. She forgot how light her head had suddenly become; dizzying vertigo that she felt, as a result, reminded her and she had to blink back the kaleidoscope of colors so that the four faces of Blair went back to the normal two— Wait what?
"So?" Aaliyah asked narrowing her eyes in defense.
"So..." Blair replied drawing out her words, her mouth pulling into a wide smile. "In the time between now and then, you started laughing uncontrollably, played peek-a-boo with yourself, and chowed down on like five burritos, mine included. Jacks had to order more because of you." She laughed to herself turning to lie down on her back of the sofa, "If I wasn't high myself I would have left you to fend for yourself by now."
"She had six burritos." Jacks corrected, and Aaliyah turned to her side to find Jacks lying beside her and she blinked. Had he always been there? She pulled a wide goofy smile at the sight of him, and he smiled back, lifting a hand to her face, pulling a loose tendril behind her ear, "hopefully, she has a calm comedown though. Didn't she say she had an interview with a reporter tomorrow morning?"
"Yep." Blair answered, popping the 'p', "With Uriah with the permanent stick up his ass hovering over her."
"Fuck." He swore, looking away from her to Blair accusingly. Aaliyah was content in just watching him though. The way the crystalline shine of his blue eyes flicked around in the light as his eyes moved from her to Blair. The way his jaw worked as he spoke, the furrow of his brows. Time seemed to move so slowly, she thought she had all the time in the world to take in every detail, crevice of the structure of his face. He was beautiful, Aaliyah thought to herself, beautiful like how all natural things were beautiful. Effortlessly. "Blair, why didn't you tell me any of this? I never would have let her get high if I knew."
"She told you already, Jacks," Blair replied with an incoherent murmur. "I thought she needed to relax. She'd been stressing out about everything for so long. It was messing with my vibe. If anything, she should be thanking me."
"And I am thankful," Aaliyah added, cutting into the conversation, reaching for him. She palmed his cheek getting him to meet her gaze. He met it, but his gaze was worried and searching as though trying to assess the damage. But she felt so much like she was so high up in the clouds like any damage was unimportant. Lyrics by Jhené Aiko floated into her head mixed in with her own lyrics, and she smiled almost humming to herself. She should probably write these words down. "Look Jacks, I'm so chill right now. I don't think I've ever been this relaxed, except once. See," and then she pulled the widest smile she could possibly pull with all teeth and Jacks laughed softly at her, "Have you ever seen me smile this wide before?"
"No," Said Jacks shaking his head, chuckling below his breath, before a frown creased between his brows, "I haven't. But are you sure you don't want to go home and sleep it off? I don't want you to regret it. This is your first time smoking, so it'll be hard on you tomorrow."
Aaliyah shook her head, her grin hurting her cheeks. "It's not my first time," She pointed out.
Jacks frowned, lifting his gaze to Blair for a moment before looking back at Aaliyah. "Yes, it is," He argued, "When would you have smoked before?"
"Aaliyah doesn't spend her every waking moment with you, Jacks," Blair drawled, "She's not your baby. In fact, even babies have more breathing room."
Aaliyah frowned. Was Blair right? Did she spend too much time with Jacks? She supposed she did feel a little suffocated every now and then, especially after the Bonfire. He was wherever she was, sometimes he even sat in on some of her sessions with Xavier. That was particularly annoying because as much as she cared about Jacks, he did disrupt her flow with Xavier. He seemed to close up entirely when he was around, and Jacks interrupted quite a lot too. And despite herself, she knew she had to admit that there were some things she felt she didn't have to hide from Xavier that she hid from Jacks. She didn't really know why and she didn't have the heart to tell him either. But isn't that what it meant to be in a relationship? To be around the person you're in one with all the time?
"That's not what I mean—"
"I didn't smoke," Aaliyah interrupted, not wanting to talk about this with Blair of all people, "It was a brownie. And it was a while ago, during the blackout a few months ago... with Xavier," She clarified when Jacks looked to her with a raised brow.
"Xavier?" Jacks echoed incredulously sitting up, "You took edibles with Xavier?"
Blair snorted. "This just got interesting."
Aaliyah ignored Blair, sitting up, following Jacks' suit to meet his blazing eyes. They were very bright, like blue flames. He seemed angry, but through Aaliyah's fuzzy brain, she couldn't find herself being all that concerned about it. She could only focus on his eyes, they were really pretty. "You're mad?" She asked with a cocked brow, "You shouldn't be mad. It was fun."
"You got high with Xavier fucking Adams, and I didn't hear about it for months," Jacks replied frustration seeping through his tight voice, "Why shouldn't I be mad?"
Aaliyah's eyes widened, the force of his words hitting her hard like a ton of bricks. What was Jacks' problem? "I didn't think it was worth bringing up," She rushed out, her words slurring a little more. Her vision blurred a bit before she slid closer to him, staring up at his eyes so that she could focus more, "It was just for fun. Electricity was out, we weren't getting any music done and Xavier thought that it might help let out some steam—"
"And since when did you need someone else to tell you how to let off steam?" Jacks argued accusingly, his eyes narrowing into slits, "Weren't you always saying that you don't do drugs? Blair and I have tried convincing you before then, why was it only when Xavier said to jump, you asked how high?"
Aaliyah blanched at his words. "Why are you being such an ass?" She gasped, tears burning the backs of her eyes. She swore inwardly, why was she crying? She didn't cry in front of other people, the weed seemed to be getting to her a little too hard now, she needed to sober up, "It wasn't that serious. We got high, it's not like we did anything else. We watched Criminal minds and we talked, nothing serious."
"Talked?" Jacks echoed, "Talked about what?"
Aaliyah squirmed, looking away. "Nothing," She muttered. Jacks swore beneath his breath and Aaliyah glared, "Nothing important, okay. It was months ago, I can barely remember."
Blair made a noise beneath her breath. "Your face says otherwise," She pointed out, waving her phone, letting her fingers slide across her phone.
Aaliyah glared at her. "Fuck you," She snapped at her, making her only grin. She turned her gaze from Blair to Jacks, letting her hands slide up his face so that he had to look at her, "Look Jacks, that night it was nothing, we got high to pass the time it was fun and we never talked about it again. Nothing else, okay, I didn't say anything, because I didn't think it mattered, but I'm sorry okay, I should have known you would have been uncomfortable with it—"
"I'm not uncomfortable," He argued petulantly.
Aaliyah raised a brow, hesitating as she looked back to Blair over her shoulder, who was grinning down at her phone. She looked away meeting Jacks' gaze again with a reassuring smile. "Of course," She replied, leaning forward to kiss his jaw, "But I'm sorry anyway," She said in between kisses. She planted another one at his cheek, and then at the corner of his mouth, "Forgive me?"
She pressed her lips to his again, feeling the warmth of his mouth seep into her blood, stirring butterflies in her stomach. She heard him groan, a rumbling sound at the back of his throat, and despite herself, Aaliyah couldn't help but smile. Maybe there were pieces of herself that she wasn't ready for him to see, parts of herself that Xavier saw without even having to ask, but how she felt for Jacks was special, and at least he knew that. "If I wasn't high, I swear my resolve would be so much stronger." He muttered, before holding the back of her head and staring into her eyes like he was trying to read her mind, searching her gaze for insincerity. And then he pressed his mouth to hers in an aching kiss that made her crumble against him. She sighed softly into his mouth allowing his tongue entrance, shocking her nerves when it did—
Aaliyah and Jacks broke apart and it felt like pulling magnets apart when they heard a loud groan interrupt. "You two need to go fuck somewhere else. Please." Blair complained loudly. Aaliyah flushed deeply and laughed burying her head into Jacks' chest, mortified. "We're having company soon."
Company? "Company?" Jacks replied, voicing her thoughts. "You mean besides us?"
Aaliyah turned around to face her with a frown. Blair's expression was smug and nonchalant. "Boy, are you slow when you're high," Blair replied with a slow smirk, cocking a brow. "I thought that that was implied when I said that."
"Since when were more people coming? I thought it was just us hanging out." Aaliyah asked cocking her head to the side.
"It was." Blair shrugged in response, "But then I thought. Three's not really a crowd. So let's actually make it one."
Jacks sounded slightly weary. "So?"
"I invited some people over," Blair said with an impish grin, "And before you get on my ass about West not liking people in the studio after hours. I sent mass texted the entire group the invite and they all replied that it's all good and they'd be bringing a keg."
Jacks sighed, running a hand through his hair. Aaliyah turned to meet his gaze again and after another moment she shrugged pulling a smile identical to Blair. "I'm down if you are."
Another silence passed before he swore under his breath again. "I guess we're having a party then." He muttered and Blair squeaked in delight kicking herself off the sofa and grabbing Aaliyah by the arm, a lot less gracefully than she would have, had she been sober. She stumbled a little as she pulled Aaliyah up to her feet, who staggered after her, looking hopelessly back to the floor where she laid.
"Woah!" She yelped as she was yanked up to her feet from the floor. She glared at Blair when she grinned back at her. "What are you doing?"
"Getting ready obviously." Blair replied, with a 'duh' on the tip of her tongue, "Do you think a Waters goes to any event looking only half-decent? No. And because you're officially affiliated with the name, I'm putting that obligation on you too, so let's go."
Aaliyah looked over her shoulder, as she was dragged out of the practice room, at Jacks who stared after them with a chuckle shaking his head. She groaned under her breath. "I'm going to die."
For whatever reason, Blair had a makeshift wardrobe in one of the spare upstairs rooms. Aaliyah realized that she was probably exaggerating, but that's what it looked like. She wondered if Blair had a wardrobe in other places.
"You're actually wondering if I have clothes in other places, seriously?" Blair asked as she searched through the racks of clothes turning her head over her shoulder to look at her with a tiny smirk across her lips, dark eyes teasing her, "Only Xavier's."
Aaliyah didn't even realize she was talking out loud, and when she met her gaze she flushed and ducked her head down. "I didn't say that." She replied in a low voice, and then she sat up straighter at her answer not entirely sure if she expected to hear Xavier's name as an answer. A bitter ache swelled in her chest at the thought and she tried to keep her thoughts to herself, but it was hard being a little less inhibited.
She was on fairly decent terms with Xavier, but he was still an annoying pain in her ass at times, but she could easily consider him just a little less than a friend, especially after all he did to get her to the Winter Showcase in time and help her finish Four Walls. And the lyrics he wrote for the new song he wanted her to sing hadn't all that easily left her mind. Around you, she thought and a smile teased around the edges of her mouth unable to help it. They were different from the usual words that came out of his mouth, they were so much more real and tangible—
"No, but it's what you meant," Blair said pulling a hanger from the rack and whirling round to face Aaliyah. "It's okay. And I know what that look on your face means; I mean Xavier is very decent eye candy, it's normal for any straight girl to be attracted to him, even those ones in relationships." She said dropping a wink at her.
Aaliyah gaped at her, dropping her legs from the bean bag chair to the floor. "I am not attracted to Xavier." She retorted defensively, forcing a scoff and a laugh out rolling her eyes. Her cheeks were constantly flushing and she wasn't sure if it was because of the high or her embarrassment.
"Totally." Blair said with a wide, disbelieving smile before she held up the black sequinned mini skirt on the hangar, "And to answer your next question. Three years ago, in Chicago for his first national tour, I was fourteen and totally obsessed with Xavier, and I convinced myself that he would be my first." She started, and Aaliyah stared her eyes wide in shock not entirely sure what she was hearing. Blair and Xavier? Aaliyah knew that Blair and Xavier both got around, her shameless deep dive search into Xavier's personal dating history kept nothing out of that, but even then, they had never given the idea that they had ever done it together. "I know what you're thinking and no we didn't fuck. I mean I wanted to, I snuck into his hotel room and tried to make a move, but he shut it down pretty quickly, yabbered on about the usual shit; I'm his boss' daughter, I'm only a Freshman, I'm like a sister to him and all that stuff. It was embarrassing, never talked about it again and here we are years later."
Aaliyah slouched in the bean bag and pouted, feeling a mix of feelings, sympathetic for the fourteen-year-old Blair chasing the elusive Xavier Adams, amusement at the image of a panicked seventeen-year-old Xavier with a terrible track record with girls, trying to let down a girl he cared about, and mostly confusion that any of this had ever actually happened. Aaliyah was having the feeling that love only seemed to end in heartache for Blair and her heart went out to her. "Oh."
Blair put the hanger back on the rack and continued searching, muttering something to herself. "Oh, don't feel bad. We weren't meant to be, and you know good things and bad things are all for character development, just like all the shit that happened with Max." She said with a sweet smile, "Ah, I know." Then she grabbed several hangars and then threw them at her making her jump in surprise cursing under her breath. "Now go put that on, I can hear downstairs, people are here and you haven't even got your hair done."
Now both she and Blair were back downstairs on the bottom floor, the lights were out and someone must have sprung for disco lighting because beams of hot pinks, poison greens, and fiery oranges shot across the room like lasers. Aaliyah couldn't help but be overwhelmed as she joined the crowd. Blair had mentioned all the people she had invited; Jacks' crew, people from school, and from a few other schools, and not Madison. But Aaliyah didn't realize how many people she actually knew until she came here, and was instantly off-put by the sight of many people. If the prospect of high school, and even the Senior Bonfire or just performing, in general, was already daring enough to her, then this party with a clash of several social groups merging was enough to induce an anxiety attack.
Maybe if she was sober. She was nervous, but she tried to not let that get in the way of her buzz. She could have fun, she would have fun.
Aaliyah had already known that Blair was inherently fashionable, but the outfit she had thrown at her was something she would guess any stylist worth their salt would appraise. A red lace spaghetti-strapped bralette and black cargo pants paired with her red and white Jordan 1s. It dripped with swagger and the bun she put her hair in and the glitter highlight on her cheekbones only accentuated her look. Her edges were also incredibly laid and her eyebrows were done perfectly. For once she looked like one of the hundreds of makeup gurus Blair made her watch on YouTube. She didn't even object when Blair, also looking fire in her ripped mom jeans and black backless camisole, insisted on taking photos for her styling Instagram profile.
Although she did look fabulous and Blair's guests had made sure to let her know, she was still Aaliyah. And large crowds weren't her thing. She smiled pleasantly and retreated to the sofa where Jacks was. Blair had abandoned her once they come down the stairs, claiming she had guests to entertain.
Thankfully, this wasn't Aaliyah's party, and Jacks wasn't so into entertaining guests either. He was on the sofa with the rest of his crew and waved her over when he found her. He seemed happy to have her around, which was a relief considering the last exchange they had. She still felt a little uneasy around his crew though, who seemed to have a lot to say about her the last time she had seen them all. Christian seemed apologetic when they next saw each other in the New Year at school, but she had tried to stay a little distant from the rest. She was sure that they probably talked about her behind her back as well, not that she was going to let that bother her though.
Basically, she felt a little uncomfortable around them like she didn't belong. Though her high made her a little more comfortable enough to sit with them on Jacks' lap and listen in on their conversation and sometimes even laugh along with them, and the buzz she was still feeling dulled the sound of the blaring music too, and she was able to actually properly focus on it, letting herself be moved by Tupac's lyricism or Childish Gambino's beats.
"Garcia." Called Christian, drawing her out of her own head. She met his gaze and smiled pleasantly, "Damn mamas, you're riding that high hard. What were you even thinking about?"
Everyone looked at her expectantly and she felt her cheeks burn. She mentally cursed herself, she was a lot more chill than this. She could hold a conversation without wanting to crawl into a hole, she was better than the weak little girl back in San Diego now. She was Lia Garcia here. She pulled a wily smile. "I have no idea." She replied.
"Damn," Christian replied leaning back on his hands opposite her on the floor. "That's deep."
Jacks laughed, pressing her hip lightly as he leaned forward resting his chin on her shoulder so that their cheeks were almost touching, Aaliyah subconsciously leaned into him. "Dude, are you stoned? I don't think I've ever seen you hit one yet."
"Man, does that even matter? You know Christian and Eunice are like in a permanent state of inebriation." Said Rick, turning his nose up at the two boys, who saluted from their end of the sofa. Eunice went back to flirting with a girl that was leaning against the back of the sofa they were on, his smile taunting and sweet.
Marcus snorted "But that's what makes them so chill to be around."
Aaliyah studiously tried to avoid Marcus' gaze who she was still a little sore with. He didn't seem to notice her frostiness towards him though, or maybe he was just ignoring it like he was pretty much ignoring her.
"I do my best," Christian said, pulling a watery smile in Aaliyah's direction, dropping a wink as he did so. Aaliyah winked back, as though they both knew something no one else knew, fighting her grin. Chris, who was now sporting blue curls like Solana's that fell into his eyes, was a like child most times, almost harmless. She couldn't but find it adorable, even if he was a pain in her ass most times.
Jacks saw the whole interaction though, and she guessed he didn't take it that way. She wondered if it had anything to do with their conversation earlier. He seemed adamant in believing that something happened between her and Xavier the night they got high. She regretted telling Jacks about it, not only because of how he reacted, which was totally out of proportion, not unlike a lot of his reactions to things that involved other boys, but also because in a weird way it felt like she had betrayed Xavier's trust. That night was something they had kept between each other, they had been vulnerable with each other, for once, for the first time since they started working together. It meant something to her, even if she wasn't sure it was for him. Even they didn't talk about it with each other, but she knew that it was in both their heads when they laughed together or held a silence between each other during their breaks, whenever they made eye contact—
Jacks' grip tightened on her hips and she could feel waves of tension and anxiety rolling off him. Aaliyah, out of her head again, tried to remedy his anxiety by turning her face to press a soft kiss to his jaw and nuzzle her nose against his, but he wasn't having it. Instead, he stood to his feet making her stumble slightly forward to her feet and walked away without a second look.
She stared after him in silence deliberating whether she should go after him and try and get him to calm down. But then she remembered the last time he was in a mood and hesitated. Did she really want to be on the receiving end of that? He was stoned too, she didn't think it was smart.
She was about to slowly take his seat and gain the courage to meet the gazes of his friends when she saw sifting through the people already crowded in the room, sporting the jacket Blair had bought for him at Christmas, the washed-out longline denim jacket with a red patch over the breast pocket and the middle of his back and jeans along with his favorite pair of Jordan's and of course the gold chain that was half-hidden under his shirt he never goes anywhere without around his neck. He looked fire as always, even more so with the jacket. She swore Blair had a gift. If only her father saw it more often.
Once she got over the swagger that was Xavier Adams, she started to wonder what he was doing here then she remembered that Blair and Xavier were almost like family, of course, she would have invited him. She found herself wishing he wasn't here though, for different reasons to the usual one. She already had to deal with Jacks, avoiding Xavier was just another thing on her list she had to stress about.
She slouched down into her seat with a frown, her high reaching a new low now. The girl next to her, Zenith, reached over to her on the other side of the sofa. "Hey," She called and Aaliyah glanced over to her with a raised brow, "Don't mind Jacks, he gets like that sometimes, you know how it is. The whole baggage he carries mixed in with high school drama. It fucks with the average hormonal teenage boy, but you deal with it, I guess, take the good with the bad."
Aaliyah wanted to nod and move on, this wasn't anything she hadn't already heard from Blair, but what she said irked her. "Baggage?" She asked, cocking her head to the side, "What Baggage?"
Zenith cocked a dubious brow. "What? You don't know about his parents? The one that died and the one that got away? He didn't tell you about them?" She demanded.
Aaliyah's heart stopped. "The one that died?" She retorted in absolute horror. Jacks' parents are dead? She thought to herself in complete hilarity, why didn't she know about this? Surely, Jacks would have told her this, especially since he had let her talk about her own drama. Didn't he trust her?
Zenith made a sheepish look and bit on her bottom lip. "I guess you didn't know that." She said in a low voice, "I probably shouldn't say more than that then. You know out of respect for him."
"Yeah, I get you," Aaliyah replied staring off into space wondering about everything she was missing. If he couldn't tell her something as fundamental as that, what else could he be hiding from her? "Damn, could my male drama be any more melodramatic?" She muttered to herself feeling the urge to run a hand through her hair.
Zenith must have heard her though. "You say male drama like there's more than one male." She replied, bringing a zoot, handed to her by Christian, who was listening in to their conversation intently, to her lips and breathing in.
Aaliyah sighed, shaking her head in exhaustion. "You don't even want to know."
Zenith raised a brow in surprise. "You seem to need this more than I do." She replied handing the joint over to her. Aaliyah eyed it for a moment before taking it without a second thought. She wasn't wrong, she hadn't been more relaxed since she hit that first joint, now she was starting to sink back into her normal routine of overthinking. She needed to stop thinking. For just a minute.
Besides. Weed is good for the soul.
Thirty minutes and three more hits later, Zenith had pulled Aaliyah onto the dance floor despite her slurred objections, but she stumbled before falling into Zenith's back anyway as they joined the throngs of people. "This isn't fair!" Aaliyah yelled petulantly when Zenith turned around to face her, "You're a professional dancer, and I have no sense of bodily coordination even as a sober person." She yelled again into Zenith's ear.
Despite her platform sneakers, Zenith, smaller than Aaliyah, brought her down to eye level by the shoulder. "Just dance around and be crazy like nobody's watching. Everyone is either high, drunk, or both, no one's going to care."
Aaliyah wished she had Zenith's confident resolve. She watched as she jumped, throwing her head back and forth, her hands above her, not giving a damn about how crazy she looked, not even caring that her braids were whipping around her the silver in them catching the light and glittering like sparklers. She was carefree, and recklessness and abandonment burned through her veins, whilst Aaliyah always felt chained down by something, her past, her fears, her insecurities. And she couldn't stop worrying about Jacks.
Eventually, Zenith grabbed her by the hands and started twirling her around, forcing her to move, and Aaliyah, though reluctantly, joined in, laughing nervously over the music. Zenith smiled softly at her and leaned in to speak into her ear. "Look, whatever's holding you back, let it go! Life's too short to worry about the bad things. Just have fun and ride the high. Dance!"
Aaliyah decided that she was right. Or maybe it was just the weed kicking in, but she decided that though everything bothered her, she would ignore it all, just to know what fun tasted like, what being truly free felt like. Even if it was just for one night, she would let go.
And she did. She danced along with Zenith, screaming and laughing as beads of sweat gleamed on her skin dampening the loose curls that fell from her bun and stuck to the backs of her neck and her temples. Her skin felt like it was on fire, but the good kind, the type of fire that brought out the life in her, the life she felt when she made music or sang for people, the kind that made her happy to be alive. And nothing mattered, not even her clumsily bumping into neighboring bodies and not giving a damn when they shot their venomous glares or shocked, or starstruck stares. And having fun, just letting her body follow the rhythm of the music, albeit very awkwardly. Her high didn't bless her with a sense of good coordination, though it did give her relief.
She was dancing when she got the idea that she was being watched and she paused. Zenith hadn't noticed though, and she continued dancing. She frowned when she saw over her shoulder, Xavier leaning against a tall round table with a drink in his hand taking slow sips of his drink. His smile was slow around his lips and she smiled back lifting a hand and curling her fingers beckoningly, telling him to come over, as she started to sway her hips again awkwardly to the beat. He shook his head, his smile never leaving. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was like there was a hook, buried under her ribs and tugging her towards him. Something that pulled them closer together, which was weird because they could barely call each other friends. But for whatever reason, she found herself wanting to be closer to him.
So she moved closer sifting through the crowd as he did, but with a lot more effort. Seas didn't seem to part just at her presence like they did for Xavier, but she guessed that's just what stardom did for you. Maybe, one-day seas would part for her too. The idea zinged through her veins like fire and she grinned.
Once she was face to face with Xavier she clocked her heavy breathing and felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. Next to Xavier's cool and collected, she was like a sweltering pig. She still looked great though, she had to give that to Blair. She wondered where she was now. Probably off making out with a cute boy, or man. Aaliyah knew of her tendency to go for older guys. One look at Xavier only reminded her of that fact. Blair's words echoed in her mind. "I didn't know you were coming." She yelled over the music.
Xavier took the cup from his mouth and shrugged. "I got Blair's text," He said, "And I thought that I might as well."
"Yeah, but like parties don't seem like they'd be your thing." Aaliyah replied, with a frown cocking her head to the side in curiosity, "You're antisocial, you don't have friends. You stick out."
"I stick out in most scenarios." Xavier's brows shot up in quiet disbelief. "You don't think parties are my thing? Have you read the tabloids, Lia? They say quite different."
"The tabloids rarely tell the truth," Aaliyah replied, staring at him evenly. His eyes were disturbingly dark and reflective. The beams of neon lights flashed in his eyes like lasers, and Aaliyah couldn't help but feel mesmerized by his gaze. Even in moments like this, when he wasn't doing anything. He stared at her quietly, and she realized that everything about Xavier seemed to be quiet and contained, how he made her feel a thousand things at once, was a mystery to her. He was nothing like the outrageously notorious boy the press seemed to know so much about. "You go to parties for the appearances, but I don't see you really enjoying them. And you're a loner. You can't have fun at a party without any friends."
Xavier was quiet for a moment. "You don't have any friends either, except for Blair and your boyfriend, maybe a few acquaintances. But you seemed to be having fun." He replied, a smile on his lip as he gestured to over her shoulder where she had been dancing before.
Aaliyah had to admit. He wasn't wrong, growing up homeschooled didn't give her much room to develop her social skills, and friendships were a lot harder than Hollywood seemed to make them out to be. She eyed the beer bottle in his hand and swiped it from him without a second thought and took a swig of his bottle. And frowned. Was this alcohol?
Xavier saw the look on her face and chuckled. "It's lemonade." He answered her pending question, "I try to keep my drinking minimal in public. Lightweight."
Aaliyah was stunned. "You're a lightweight?" She blurted in a complete stupor, she didn't get why that surprised her. He'd been arrested for a DUI once.
"Don't be too surprised." Xavier replied in a grim voice taking back the lemonade bottle slowly, "But three bottles of beer in, and I'm gone. I'd rather keep the embarrassment in the press to a minimal too."
Aaliyah stared at him widely, not knowing what else to say. She did not expect that. "What?" Xavier continued, a teasing smile edged with a little something dark played along his lips and he shrugged, "Don't have any more quips to say about how much you know me?"
She wanted to curse at him and turn away, but interest kept her rooted in her spot, much to her silent dismay. "You seem more grumpy when you were high. What are you like drunk?" She asked innocently.
Xavier peered at her, his dark eyes narrowed as he cocked his head to the side. The thought came to her out of nowhere, tall, dark, and handsome, described him perfectly. "Are you high? You definitely seem like it. Sober Lia wouldn't have come over here, sober Lia wouldn't be asking so many questions."
"I asked one question." Aaliyah retorted with a scowl and rolled her eyes, "And who cares if I am?"
Xavier shrugged. "I do." He answered simply and then continued on, "I know what you're like high remember, you couldn't handle yourself all alone. I wouldn't want you to get hurt."
Aaliyah scoffed rolling her eyes, not believing his words for a second. "You don't care about me like that."
Xavier stared at her quietly for another long moment, before taking his gaze from hers away. "Where's your boyfriend? Shouldn't he be taking care of you?" He asked instead, changing the subject.
Something in Aaliyah wanted to probe more at the topic, wanted to know why he wouldn't comment, what that look was, what it meant. But she chose not to. She decided that she was not currently equipped for any answer Xavier had to give, it would only either end in hurtful words being exchanged or more confusion. "My boyfriend is in a mood." She answered with a shrug, "Decided that for my sake, I wouldn't deal with it now."
Xavier raised a brow. "Does he usually get in moods?"
A slow smile curled along the edges of her mouth and she raised her shoulders as though in defense. "Now who's asking questions," She replied, "I have an interview tomorrow morning with Callie Green. I should get home, but Malcolm shouldn't see me like this. Can I crash at your place tonight?"
For the first time, a look of surprise flashed across his face and Aaliyah almost called him out on it, but then a smile returned. "Sure," he said. "Do you want to leave now?"
Aaliyah nodded slowly, and with that Xavier pulled himself off the table and gently took her by the elbow, sliding her phone from out of her pocket, steering her away towards the exit. "I'll text Blair that you're leaving, so she doesn't worry. She can tell your boyfriend, alright." He said in a low voice in her ear, and then she suddenly felt covered in something warm as they reached the doors leading to the stairwell, something soft and warm and smelled unsurprisingly like cinnamon and sandalwood. She realized it was Xavier's jacket. In the back of her mind, she realized it was wrong, but she felt herself snuggle into his jacket, as the thought became more distant to her, savoring his warmth and his smell. For some reason, it was reassuring to her. What she thought home would feel like.
Before they could get to the door, Christian seemed to materialize out of thin air in front of her. Aaliyah blinked rapidly as though trying to figure out how that was possible before she became conscious of the slight green sheen to his skin. She cocked a brow. "Christian," She called out over the music, peering at him, his cheeks were bloated and his skin shone with sweat. He didn't look this bad when she saw him last. What did he do? "Christian, are you okay?"
Christian shook his head tightly, his blue curls, lifting a little. "I need my sister," He said in a low voice. Aaliyah instantly remembered Solana, his step-sister. They fought relentlessly with each other most times, but other times they seemed to be so in sync it was creepy. Christian relied on Sol like she was his sober sponsor. He was rarely out at any party or function without her a good ten feet away from him at all times. Where was she now? "I need my sister. Some dude gave me a drink. He said it was better than weed and I was like fuck off, you're lying, but now I think he was right, but I feel so dizzy and I thought I saw my mom here a second ago—"
Aaliyah's eyes widened. Concern flooding her veins. "Dude," She interrupted, his rambling making her head spin, "Your mom is dead."
"I know," Christian replied, his voice coming out just as shocked as she was, "Which is so crazy, right?"
From behind her, she heard Xavier swear beneath his breath, pushing Aaliyah behind him. He took Christian's face by his chin, searching his face narrowly. Aaliyah watched in fascination, noticing how tense he was, like drawn wire. Aaliyah knew that whatever was wrong with Christian couldn't be good, but seeing Xavier take up a doctor's professionalism had her entranced, and curious. It was probably the weed. "Was the drink the guy gave you purple?"
Christian stared up at him with wide and wild eyes, like he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at. "Really purple," He answered in a slurred voice, "Bro, you look exactly like my dad."
Xavier pressed his lips together, turning to look at Aaliyah over his shoulder. "He took lean," He said in a tight voice, "And I think he took too much. He might need a hospital."
Aaliyah widened her eyes. "A hospital?" She hissed, looking around. There had to be someone else around here, someone much more equipped with all their mental faculties to handle this. Aaliyah barely had a cap on her own sobriety. And she heard about lean, knew all the biggest rappers had dabbled in it, had even been hospitalized by it. She knew that wasn't something to fuck with, but of course out of everyone she knew it would be Christian to try it. And Solana wasn't here, "Oh my God, this is bad."
"This isn't bad," Christian insisted, swaying on his feet a little, Aaliyah stared widely, as though willing him to stand upright. Xavier had a grip on his shoulder, but Christian didn't seem to be holding onto his consciousness all that tightly anymore, "I don't need a hospital. Take me home. My sister can take care of me."
"Your sister isn't a doctor, Christian," Aaliyah argued, "You need medical attention."
"My step-mom then," Christian suggested, "She's a nurse. She'll know what to do. Just no hospitals, please."
Aaliyah exchanged grim looks with Xavier. He looked annoyed and frustrated, and Aaliyah wondered what he was thinking. She remembered what he told her before about not drinking in public. Did the same go for being around people who drink or do drugs? If it did, why would he even be here? "I know where he lives," Aaliyah told Xavier, "We can take him there. He's still conscious, so it can't be that bad, right?"
Xavier held her gaze for a moment longer, clearly reading her distress in her voice. "Lia," Xavier started in a soft, patient voice, "It isn't just lean he's taken, is it? He's been smoking too. Between the two of us, we have one high school diploma. We can't even begin to understand what the fuck is going on in his system right now. He needs a hospital."
Aaliyah sighed, knowing he had a point. She looked sullenly to Christian, who was staring at her through half-lidded eyes. She wondered if he was going for a pleading look, but he was barely clinging to life as it is. She couldn't let anything happen to him, not on her watch. She met Xavier's gaze. "Let's go."