Sierra focused her mind on anything but JJ, the faint crashing off the waves, the calls of the seagulls as they flew over the restaurant, or how they sky blended together smoothly. A mix of pink, yellow, and orange fading into the horizon where the sun slowly began to set. She smells the ocean as the breeze carried its scent and brought it to her nose, a familiar one, one that always lingered on JJ's body due to his love for the ocean. Fuck, why did everything have to remind her of him? Sierra thought she could be at peace with her own thoughts but every nerve in her brain only thought about JJ, the bright star that seemed to shine above the rest of the boys. But even her bright start had to burn out eventually, he was bound to implode. It was only a matter of time.
JJ Maybank an uncontrollable flame, no nobody could make the unruly boy do anything, he chose his own destiny and pushed those who got in his way. It's what gave everyone the perception that he was wild, a thief, violent—you could argue that he was a mild kleptomaniac and never held back his punches on some minor inconveniences, but most chose to overlook the good side of him. He sought out the joy in people who were upset, always had a solution in mind to help, even if it was a stupid one. Sierra wished he had seen himself the way she saw him, he was far more than what people painted him out to be.
The only issue was, JJ Maybank couldn't recognize love, it was foreign in his mind which is why he couldn't process how his action greatly affected Sierra. He had won her heart yet had torn it out the moment he walked away from her. An aching emptiness now filled her chest instead of the fuzzy, warm feeling she got whenever he'd touch her, kiss her, called her name, make a joke and specifically looked at her to make sure she laughed.
"Look," John B was the first to speak, breaking the eerie silence amongst the Pogue's, "he'll come around, all right? It's...he's doing a JJ thing."
"You think he'll go home." Kiara rasped out, her eyes glued down to stare at the table in front of her, Sierra tore her gaze away from the window and worryingly looked at her friends. She didn't even want think about him stepping foot near his dad.
"There's about a zero percent chance JJ goes home." Pope stared out the window, one arm resting above him on the old wood. Pulling away, he turned to the group and blew out a loud sigh. "Okay, it's too dangerous to pawn this thing off piecemeal, so our best bet is to go down there and get the rest of it. Bring it all up at once, put it in..in a safe or a vault or something. I..I don't know, just until we can find someone who won't rip us off."
"Keep it in my dads office thing, he has a safe where he kept his things for work." Sierra offered.
He nodded in response, "We can figure it out tonight. Get it done, and we can be out there tomorrow morning."
"All right, let's do it." John B agreed.
"What about that thing with my dad?" Sarah added, glancing at John B.
"Shit." He cursed silently, his hand running through his face and into his hair in frustration."I have to go fishing, with Ward."
"You can't get four-hundred mill 'cause you're gonna go kill fish?" Kiara questioned with a raised brow, glaring over at the boy.
"Look, I have to go."
"Blow it off!" Pope insisted, hands slamming onto the table in front of him. "It's four-hundred million in gold!"
"Why not make something up, stall until we've got the gold and then go." Sierra added on.
"Look, I-I have to, okay? He..he saved me, all right, and if it weren't for Ward I'd be in foster care, so...I have to go. Plus, it'll be better to do it at night, right?" He looked at the teens, Sarah gave him a encouraging smile.
Sierra rolled her eyes and leaned against wooden frame of the window. "Lame, boo, corny." She muttered under her breath as the group grew quiet.
Pope sighed heavily and reluctantly spoke. "Fine, fine, go fishing."
"And at least JJ will probably have washed up by then." Kiara mumbled, looking over at Sierra's back, the brunette went back to her old spot, staring at the open water.
The rest of the group had concluded their discussion, each of them separating, John B and Sarah headed back to the Ward estate to cease any suspicion. Pope also headed back, a plan on how to get the proper tools for their treasure digging brewing in his mind. Lastly, Sierra pushed herself from the wooden pillar and announced her departure to Kiara, the curly haired girl paused from her job of placing all the chairs on top of the tables.
"Hey, Si, before you go." Sierra turned, looking at her best friend. "I..a—are you okay? Like, seriously okay?" Kiara reached over, placing both her soft hands on the girls shoulders, eyes full of genuine worry. "I know shits been hard for you."
Sierra sucked in a deep breath, releasing in a heavy sigh. "I-" It wasn't often that Sierra Ray was left without words. She usually hand a witty comeback or a sarcastic remark to hide how she truly felt but as she stared back into the eyes of her best friend she couldn't gather the words that would be truthful. She didn't want people to worry and so she always put on a mask that spoke only lies, there'a nothing to worry about. She didn't want people—even her friends—to understand how she was feeling because she should've been the first one to know, but she didn't.
Kiara squeezed the girls shoulder, give her a small smile, "It's okay if you're not, just let me know, we're Pogue's, we stick together. It's a rule."
Sierra chuckled, "Well no pogue-on-pogue mackin' was a rule too." This earned a giggle from Kiara as she rolled her eyes, dropping her arms to cross them over her chest.
"Well, you and JJ of all people are the ones I expected to break it the most, so I'll let it slide."
Sierra only grinned, a bittersweet feeling bubbling in her stomach. "I think I'll be okay."
Kiara nodded and pulled her in for a quick hug. "That's good, but if you ever don't feel like Sierra you let me know."
Sierra pulled away, giving her a tired wave as she began to walk out the restaurant. The smart thing to do would be going home, taking a nap to wash all the stress and worries away, maybe even head to the store and buy some snacks. Instead, Sierra wandered around the Outerbanks in hopes of finding JJ, she asked around and looked at every possible place she could think of. She was met with nothing, every far fetched idea she investigated, hoping to find at least something. Yet she began to give up, her legs hurt and a blanket of stars and darkness filled the sky as the night overtook. Sierra slumped her shoulders and let out a long sigh as she pushed the door to her messy home open. It was pitch black, minus the bath-and-body works candle that illuminated only a small portion of her home.
Her legs ached from the long walks across each corner of the island to find the boy she severely worried for. What if something happened to him, what if Barry had already gotten to him, hurt him, or what if his dad did something? Sierra didn't want to think about because she knew it would lead her to a pit of sadness and anxiety yet the overwhelming feeling of dread as her head raced with different thoughts made her pace in the living room. A sudden honk frightened her as she glanced out the open window, slightly moving the curtain to see the source of noise. She found Kiara and Pope waiting in Heyward's old pick up truck, a bright smile on Kiara's face as she waved towards the girl.
Sierra grinned, she needed a distraction from everything which easily influenced her into running out the door and hopping into the truck. "What's up."
"We've got the tools for our treasure, we're dropping it off at JB's." Pope explained as he pulled away from the house.
—
Pulling into the Chateu Sierra felt a small string of hope pull at her heavy heart, John B's house was the one place that JJ always took refuge in when things went wrong. When things got overwhelming at home or he missed the love that his friends would bring he'd always hideout out at the home for while. Then he'd hesitantly go back to get clothes or just to check if his father was alive and not dead on the couch from the ridiculous amount of drugs and alcohol he consumed.
Despite JJ's rough exterior, he was truly a beacon of hope for everybody on the inside. But when the spark inside him needed to be relit, he'd hide at the Chateu, like his own safe haven. He was always welcome by Big John, but when the guest bedroom was taken by Sierra he was forced to sleep on the pull out couch. The father never allowed the two to be near each other.
"God, how old is this thing." Sierra chuckled, pushing open the door as Pope sent a small glare her way.
"Don't disrespect this girl like that." Pope defended, popping open the door to the cargo bed. Sierra threw her hands up, sending him a smile as he began to unload the tools he'd picked out to get the rest of the gold. Pope had also made sure to go on a rant on what each tool was needed for and how each pogue would come into play in the whole plan.
Kiara watched as Sierra's gaze suddenly became distant once more, "You okay, Pirate?" Sierra looked over at the sound of Kiara's voice and nodded. "You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" The curly-haired girl placed a hand on her hip as she shook her head. The sentence came out as more of a statement then a question since it was obvious. "He'll come around, he's JJ, you know he always does."
Without warning, the sound of generator's whirring and a blinding bundle of colorful lights startled the group. The string lights that were messily strung from the large trees flickered on and lit up the area in a hypnotizing haze. They looked around the beautiful scenery but quickly snapped back to reality, glancing at each other worryingly whilst also searching for a source of the disturbance.
Pope was the first to notice something across the yard, "What the hell?" The boy muttered making the two girls follow his line of sight.
"Who the hell is that." Kiara added on immediately taking off towards the source. Sierra and Pope followed behind, a feeling of worry swirling in the girls stomach. Following the trail of string lights and ducking under a low tree branch, the three were met with a unexpected scene.
Taking up a large portion of the yard was an expensive hot tub, one that you'd never even think about finding on the Routledge property. The tub was filled with fizzling water and inflatable flamingo that held empty champagne glasses, the most shocking detail of it all was the missing blonde who sat comfortably in the center, sunglasses hanging low on his nose. He had a brand new bottle of champagne popped open, a wide smirk painted onto his features. Sierra was sure if she should've been happy or scared, she wasn't entirely sure if this was all real life and not just a silly dream. She was definitely relieved that JJ was alive, he seemed well physically, Sierra couldn't determine what was happening inside his messy mind.
"What did you do, JJ?" Pope spoke barley above a whisper, both anger and worry mixed into his tone.
JJ brought up a pruned finger to lower his glasses, he flashed his beautiful eyes and smile, "I have a jet going straight in my butt right now." He let out an intoxicated giggle as if there wasn't anything wrong, his words were slurred together and lazily spoken as an unrecognizable look took over his features. Sierra wasn't sure if she could call the boy in front of her the JJ she knew, the one she loved. He reached over to grab the glasses attached to the flamingo floaty, pouring in the alcohol. "Y'all should immediately get in, you hear me?"
"I looked everywhere for you, Jay." Sierra uttered, her voice quiet and weak, she was far too tired to voice her complaints about his mysterious whereabouts.
"Yeah, I kinda disappeared for a while didn't I?" JJ chuckled as he pushed over a floaty filled with the fizzy, expensive drink. "Have a drink, sorry for the troubles," He raised the large bottle and grinned widely, "salud!"
Sierra just stared back blankly, trying to identify who she was looking at, trying to solve the mystery that was JJ Maybank. But it seemed impossible. What the young girl feared had slowly become a reality, JJ snapped and did what far too many people on The Cut did, drink their troubles away. The blonde was spiraling into a pit of troubles and despair, Sierra wished she could've been there to pull him out before he was in too deep, yet she'd failed. An overwhelming feeling of deja vu took over her as she realized that all she ever did was fail the people close to her. It happened once with her mom, she drank and took every possible drug until death. Even through the mistreatment Sierra stilled blamed herself for the overdose of her mother, and now she was watching as the process repeated with JJ. Her own miracle of a boy.
"How much did this cost." Pope pressed on, watching as the boy carelessly took another swig of the alcohol.
"Uh...well, with the generator, the petrol and—oh, hey, express delivery..." The blonde paused as if he was calculating everything in his head, "pretty much all of it, yeah."
Pope's eye nearly fell out of it's socket as they widened, his mouth falling open once the words came out JJ's mouth. "All of it?"
"Yeah, all of it."
Pope knew that JJ had a horrible habit of doing stupid things, he'd always scold him for it, but JJ had stepped over a line of irresponsibleness. It was almost hard to believe, yet there he was standing face to face with nothing but the truth. "You spent all the money in one day?"
"Yeah, burned a hole right through my pockets." JJ sighed as if realizing his action, but just as quick his mouth twisted into an empty smile. "But, I mean, like, come on, guys! Like, look at this, finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me." The boy looked to the three in front front of him and rolled his eyes. "Why the long face, Pirate." He teased but was met with silence. He ripped off his glasses revealing the bloodshot eyes behind them, "Come on, all this scrimpin' and scrapin'.." He voice faltered as his lips began to loose it's bright smile. "I mean, like... guys, we— you only live once, right?"
Sierra let out a pained sigh, her eyes watering as she witnessed the sight in front of her, his tough exterior unraveling. "JJ.."
He quickly dismissed her with a wave of his hand, forcing another big smile onto his face. "Enough of this emotional shit, get in the Cat's Ass, come on." He enthusiastically motioned over his friends but their feet were glued to the ground.
"In the what?" Kiara mumbled out the first sentence since the beginning of the whole fiasco.
"In the Cat's Ass, that's what I named her." He leaned back calmly but quickly jumped forward. "Oh, hey, yo, I almost forgot." They could only watch as he leaned over to flick on a switch causing a series of fluorescent lights to illuminate the yard and jets began to splash out water from different directions of the hot tub. The Disco ball that floated above his head whirled to life and spun rapidly creating different flashes. "Yeah, that's right, I know." JJ grinned proudly, going back to rest in his spot. "Disco mode, that's right, baby!"
"Are you kidding me? You Could've paid for restitution!" Pope flailed his arms in anger as he shouted towards his friend.
"Or gave it to any charity!" Kiara added on, glaring back at the boy who grew frustrated with his friends, pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes.
"Or better yet, you could've helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out the well!"
"Okay, well, you know what? I didn't do that!" He shouted furiously, standing abruptly which revealed the set of purple bruises littering his abdomen. Sierra nearly flinched at the sight, a hand coming up to cover her mouth as the blossoming tears began to fall down her face. The air that was once in her lungs vanished as she choked back a cry, her eyes couldn't pull themselves away from the bruises. The fresh bruises, she had her fair share of experience with them a knew that he must've gotten them that same day. A sudden ache in her chest appeared, feeling her heart shatter, she knew there wasn't anything she could've done but she was already feeling the guilt crawl up her spine. She wished she could've been there, done more to prevent his pain. "I got a hot tub," he pushed back the strands of hair that fell in face, running a shaky hand through his scalp like he always did when he was scared or anxious, "for my friends!" His voice began to grow quiet and feeble. "I got a hot tub for my friends— you know what? No, you know what? Screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family." His eyes found Sierra's. "For you, just how we always talked about."
"JJ, what the hell." Kiara whispered weakly.
"Guys, look what I did for you! All right? Look at this! Look at it!" He pushed on angrily, motioning towards the lights, the disco ball, the hot tub, but none of it mattered more then him.
Sierra took one step forward, her voice cracking as she spoke. "JJ, please just—"
"No, you stop being emotional, it's fine, okay?" He sniffed, looking down as his lip quivered. "I mean it's sweet, right—" He couldn't even finish his sentence before Sierra sprang forward, climbing into the hot tub with little care about her soaked clothes clinging to her body. She wrapped her arms around him, her hand supported the back of his head, the wet blonde hair leaving water dripping down his back. His face tucked into the crook of her neck as he let out soft sobs and occasionally mumbled spoke incoherently. She left soft kisses on his head, gripping him tighter with each moment. This is exactly what he feared, showing how fragile and sad he truly was. He always wanted to be that fun, supportive, and happy boy that everyone looked up to, he never wanted to be view as weak or pathetic, he never realized that letting out a few tears helped more then holding them in for your whole life. There was never anyone that taught him the joy of being a free adolescent living the journey of life, his mother was gone, his father taught him nothing but the pain that came from his punches and strikes. JJ never saw the light of joy from where he lived, he only saw what the loneliness that independence brought him. It broke him down until he was forced to build himself wall back up, the moment Sierra came to help him pick the pieces of his life back up JJ's world shifted.
Maybe that's why Sierra is so important to him, JJ Maybank didn't recognize love, his first reaction was to push his feelings away leaving the girl in the dust while he fought by himself. Over time he realized the warmth that he felt whenever Sierra reassured him, kissed him, held him, helped clean him up after a bad argument was something he wanted all the time. He could never understand why she wasn't just any random girl, why she was so special, or why the butterflies in his stomach grew every time he saw her smile. Both teens had seen the ugly of the world, how things with family could become complicated and terrifying, so they held each other through it all. They were JJ and Sierra, the earth and the ocean, what made their ugly world better sprouted from their relationship. JJ Maybank finally began to recognize and accept love. He wrapped his arms around her waist, begging that it wasn't just a dream where she would dissolve into thin air.
He choked on his sobs, gasping for air, his cries muffled from him digging his face into Sierra's chest. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it, I couldn't take him anymore!" From all that time he spent holding everything it came crashing done, he was unable to prevent the noise that tumbled out his mouth. "Please don't leave me, I can't do this without you!"
"It's okay JJ." Sierra whispered, her shaky hand running itself through his hair, "I'm right here, I'll never leave, my love. It's gonna be okay."
"I was gonna kill him." He confessed, shamefully hiding himself deeper into Sierra's tan skin. She brought one hand under his chin, pushing his head up to meet her eyes. A soft green gazed into his deep blue eyes, like salt and fresh water clashing together beautifully.
"But you did, baby, and it's all over now, you don't have to worry anymore." She placed another soft kiss on his forehead before his hid himself once more.
"I just wanted to do the right thing." JJ muttered, his trembling figure gripped onto her like his life depended on it.
"I know, I know."
"I don't want to make you worry, I'm sorry."
"Forget all about that," She hushed, shutting her eyes as more tears spilled out, "you're here now and I've got you, I've got you and I'm not letting you go. Never."
JJ Maybank, a boy embodied a messy hurricane that plowed everything in it's path. Sierra Ray, a girl that always found herself in the eye, safe from any harm. Together they managed to be best version of themselves.
It was hard to break away from the moment they had, but soon enough Kiara and Pope joined in, radiating their love in a warm embrace. They stood in silence, yet it wasn't one that needed to be interrupted by JJ's inappropriate jokes or Sierra's giggled, it wasn't one that suffocated them. It was peaceful, like the early morning where only the birds sang while the sun rose from it's spot behind the horizon. A group of broken kids enjoying the rare serenity that the world brought them.
—
JJ had remained silent from the moment Sierra managed to lure him into the house apart from his occasional sniffle. His back laid on the messy sheets of the pull out couch, the fresh towel that once wrapped around his shoulders had slipped and blended in with the pile of blankets. Sierra had left to change from her soaked clothes which left JJ alone, staring blankly at the ceiling while his mind went at war. His eyes lacked it's beautiful azure color, luckily the tears had stopped falling from them, but he still hasn't spoken a word.
Sierra slowly approached, nervously laying beside him, he didn't turn over to give a crooked smile or instantly wrap his arms around her, he was just, trapped in his own world, being uncharacteristically quiet. Sierra wasn't sure where to start, what to say, how to approach the situation. Instead, she too remained silent, staring up at the ceiling, maybe finding what was so interesting that JJ wouldn't tare his gaze away from it.
"Do you remember that one Halloween when we were thirteen?" JJ suddenly spoke, his eyes still fixating themselves to the structure above him. "When we first started calling you Pirate?"
Sierra turned to him, smiling widely at the memory. "It was the same year I hit puberty and developed actual boobs, your perv ass wouldn't stop looking at them all night."
"Not my fault, my testosterone levels were on crack and you were wearing a little dress and an eye patch." He recalled, a small grin beginning to grow on his face. "I had the biggest crush on you after, man, I was whipped." JJ remembered it like it was yesterday, the first time he felt giddy around her, how a foreign swirl in stomach appeared each time the two would make eye contact. He pulled his best pick up lines on her and she'd reject him each time, giving him a death glare in return.
Sierra adjusted her body, turning herself onto her side as her hand came up to support her head. "Gross, I didn't like you because you totally had cooties."
"I gave you like, half my candy that night hoping I'd win over you're love." He retorted.
"And I ate that shit the fuck up." Sierra giggled, JJ face turned over to look at hers, their finally meeting once more.
"You just broke my thirteen year old heart."
"Was I the origin story behind your slut phase?" Sierra raised a brow as the blonde rolled his eyes. "Were you trying to make me jealous by picking up every girl you saw at the boneyard?"
"No comment." He muttered sheepishly as Sierra giggled showing her off pearly teeth.
The girl gave him a soft smile, planting a quick kiss on his cheek before she lost herself in her own thoughts. "Hey, wasn't it the year John B dressed up as a pumpkin?"
JJ chuckled, a genuine smile taking over his features, his face falling into the pillow to muffle his laughter. Sierra joined in before he peeked his head back up to speak, "He painted his face orange and everything, bro was fully committed."
"I called him the crusty dust on my fingers after I finish a bag of Cheetos and he kicked me out the Chateu." JJ let another howl of laughter, face once again falling into the pillow. "Do you know how long I had to beg before he let me back in?"
"He was so mad and swore up and down that he'd never let you back inside." JJ's eyes began to water once more, instead of happiness, the pain in his stomach sprouting from joy while the two attempted to quiet down. The two attempted to quit down but taking one look at each other erupted another wave of laughter.
Sierra didn't have to bring up what happened, it was a silent agreement between the two, knowing how to read each other without having to speak a word. It slightly infuriated her though, knowing Luke Maybank was walking around freely despite the constant abuse he gave his son. Just thinking his name left a sour taste in Sierra's mouth. She'd prefer not to think about it a lot knowing that there wasn't much that she could do, instead she opted on keeping JJ close, forcing herself to keep the promise of always being there for him.
Always.