CLARISSE RAN through the jungle as she usually did, with the palm leaves brushing against her arms and the wind tossing her golden tendrils of hair all around her. The smell of dirt and humid air filled her with the usual comfort and excitement as she dodged a bush and looked up to the clear sky that was adorned with perfectly shaped clouds.
She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she was heading somewhere. Seeming to have an infinite amount of stamina, she tirelessly slowed down to a normal walk and trekked through the jungle, the sun setting and bringing colors of lavender and coral to the never-ending sky above. Clarisse then focused on the darkened tree bank around her, a certain glow making itself known in the far distance where the jungle turned into forest. The usual pull in her chest that she started to trust guided her forward, the glow slowly seeming closer.
As she made her way, Clarisse felt a strong gust of air pass her from above. She froze and quickly looked up to find the source, but nothing was there. She thought it must've been a bird and was about to shrug it off as usual, but then a laugh sounded from behind her, making her turn around to chase the source of the sound. But again, she couldn't find anyone around her. She turned away from the glow she initially followed, her curiosity setting her on a different path, but a distant voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Turn around, Clarie... keep going..."
The voice sounded so familiar to her, but she couldn't place it. No one called her Clarie, first of all, and the voice belonged to a boy. She didn't know any...
She did know one boy.
"Peter?" She shuddered out in question, hoping to hear his voice again, hoping to quench her curiosity.
"Keep going!"
His voice exclaimed distantly from behind her, seemingly coming from the glow in the forest that she initially was taken by.
With new vigor, she briskly made her way towards the glow, desperate to find out what laid behind it. But the closer she got, the brighter the glow had gotten. Twigs snapped under her bare feet as she sped up to a jog, her confusion turning to slight fear.
"Peter?" Clarisse exclaimed in question, wanting to see him, wanting his presence to calm her with its familiarity. His response still came from the glow but still seemed distant, as if Clarisse wasn't getting any closer.
"You're almost there, Clarie..."
Her breathe puffed out in pants, the jungle getting darker and the glow getting brighter, slowly blinding her.
"I can't find you, Peter!" She stumbled towards the glow in an anxious stupor, the familiar fear of abandonment creeping back into her heart.
"Come on, you're so close...!"
Clarisse tripped over herself, falling to the forest floor, grasping at the dirt below her, frustrated and terrified tears making their way down her eyes, "I can't see you!"
"Clarie, I'm right here...!"
Her ear strained to hear his voice which seemed farther away. She sobbed as she felt a wave of fear grip her, making her absolutely anxious to find him. But the glow blinded her, and she couldn't see him or the forest that used to bring her joy. She cried out for him as she sat on the ground, helpless as the terror of the unknown gripped at her chest.
"Peter-!"
Clarisse shot up in her bed, finding herself back in her bedroom, the sun coating everything with light, evidently marking the start of the day. Beads of sweat sat on her forehead and her breath shuddered out, traces of an anxiety attack evident. She gripped her bedsheets in an effort to calm herself down, finding the action somewhat successful. Her eyes closed softly and she shook her head to get the remnants of the dream out of her mind before making her way out of bed to begin her morning routine.
But before she went to her bathroom, she made a quick detour towards her windowsill. Clarisse took everything in, from the pillow by the window that was slightly askew to the very faint footprints made of dirt on her carpet that tracked from her bed to the window. He really was here!
Her breath caught in her throat as his promise to return was remembered, her soul latching onto that one slice of hope and anticipation that she so desperately needed to get her through this life of hers. The blonde thought back to Peter Pan's cocky smile, and the way his presence brought even just a moment of light to her world that seemed to supply a never-ending darkness. She thought about his voice, and the way his deep inflections still held an enormous amount of childlike excitement that reminded Clarisse of a happier time in her life and filled her with contagious comfort.
She thought about his eyes. Those eyes that she lost herself in during those fleeting moments where they met her own. The way they seemed to spread warmth from her heart to her hands. The way they glimmered from concern to joy at a moment's notice. And especially the way those eyes that teetered from blue to green had looked at her. She never thought any one person could spare her a second thought, let alone a glance as deep as the one Peter had given her. She was utterly confused but seemed to be stuck in a wonderful, questionable loop that wanted an answer as to why she felt so connected and intrigued with this random boy who found himself in her bedroom in the dead of one random, fateful night.
Clarisse was irrevocably enthralled by Peter Pan and everything that he brought with his self.
But of course, before the young girl could lose herself completely to the memories and inquiries she had of the boy, the usual morning knock sounded on her locked door from her uncle. No words were said, but she knew better than to lag behind schedule, so she shoved the irresistible thought of Peter to the back of her mind and got ready for another day at the academy.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
Walking to school always left Clarisse occupied with her thoughts. Her thoughts could latch onto her cruel uncle, or how the society she lived in prevented her from having what was considered a successful life due to her unfortunate history. But today, she thought of her dream and how strange and unusual it was.
For the past year or so- especially in the last few months -Clarisse had been thrown into the most vivid and memorable dreams she had ever experienced. They had started off calm, with the usual, slightly memorable glimpse of leaves, sand, and sea. Then those images got clearer; she could feel the breeze and smell the salt in the air. And slowly, details such as something flying above her and the distant appearance of a ship in the ocean started to appear. Along with those details came so many different feelings; happiness, joy, belonging, want. Every single night when she dreamt herself into this world, she felt like she was finally home. It was a feeling she was missing ever since her father died, so she embraced it and it felt amazing to do so.
But for the first time, coincidently on the night a strange boy from an unknown place had found her, her dreams took a turn. Not only did they feature other people, but they took a dark turn that twisted the usual bright dream that left her wanting more into a dark, anxious nightmare that she wanted to rid herself of. Clarisse couldn't help but piece together that Peter's arrival into her life must have caused the change. As to why? She couldn't find the answer for a man interrupted her very long train of thought, "Watch it, girl!"
Clarisse jumped out of the carriage's way, the scare bringing her back to the real world and away from the confusion of her dreams, "Sorry, sir!"
Once at school, everything went on as normal. The blonde went to class, refrained from speaking unless spoken to, and remained awake with a sharp mind, mildly afraid of what her dreams now held. Just a day ago she would've welcomed her droopy eyes and heavy head, but now she fought against the sleepy signs in order to stay away from trouble in both class and her dreams.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
Heading back to her townhouse after school, Clarisse found her uncle going through the mail as usual in the kitchen. She slowed the speed of her steps and kept her head down, softly greeting him, "Good afternoon, Uncle. How do you do?"
William grunted in response and then smirked, something that only happened when he had the upper hand in any situation, "I do... very well. I have some news for you."
Clarisse tensed in preparation, but sat down at the table as a sign of respect, waiting for whatever was to come. She prodded, "Yes, uncle?"
"A letter came today from the academy," She felt her throat close in fear, wondering what she did today that warranted another letter like the one from the day before that caused pain to come her way, but the blonde kept her mouth shut, knowing better than to interrupt William, who continued, "informing me of your top honors in your class. Along with that, you were given the opportunity to go to Victoria College."
Confusion fleeted over Clarisse's features, "Victoria College? Isn't that in-"
"Belfort, Ireland, yes. And lucky for you, I have already gone through the proper preparations to send you there. You will be leaving tomorrow."
Clarisse couldn't understand what was happening for a brief moment. The information and the repercussions of what was going to happen to her didn't seep in until a few seconds of silence. But she knew one thing and it kept on repeating in her mind, "I- I can't leave."
She couldn't leave her father.
This home held the memories of her father's warm eyes, protective touch, and everything he stood for. Kensington Gardens was where he played with her in the grass and told her stories of fairytales. This entire town from the church in the corner to the market stand by the academy was all that connected her to her father. She could not leave her father.
But of course, William did not care about whether or not his niece wanted to stay or go. He needed her out of his life and being able to send her off to Ireland without a second thought was all he needed to separate himself from his horrid family name. Once she was gone, he planned on selling the townhouse and changing his name; all of this to start anew. And his hatred for this girl who sat in front of him made it quite easy to abandon her without hesitation or remorse.
With all of this in mind, knowing that her life was in his control now, he sneered in delight, "Well, you have no choice in the matter. Go upstairs and pack, a carriage will be here early tomorrow to take you to the train, then from there you'll get on a ferry..."
William's smug voice didn't matter as Clarisse shook her head, blocking him out. She knew of his motives and his hatred for her existence. He lived with it unhidden towards her and while a part of her was happy that she could separate from him, she knew it shouldn't be this way. This was her home. And even though she was only sixteen and legally had no say, she was done with having this chapter of her life controlled by him and his cruel intentions.
"No."
Clarisse's voice cut through his speech and even without looking up at him, she could feel his glare piercing through her. But her fear of him was the last thing on her mind.
He tested her, "What did you just say?"
"I'm not leaving my father's home to you."
He sneered at her, "Look at you... you're an ungrateful brat, aren't ya? Here I am offering you a better education and all you are going on about is your father. Well, guess what. He's dead. Move on."
That's when her carefully hidden anger was unleashed. "How dare you tell me to move on? And how dare you find me to be foolish enough to actually believe that you'd care for my well being?" Clarisse stood up from the table, her hands gripping the ends for support.
"Right when my father died, you took the money that was meant for me and wasted it on ridiculous games. Money that was meant to support the two of us. And now, you have the guts to spit on what was left of my father's legacy and sell his own home and send his daughter away?" Her voice came out in fierce ribbons of truth as she stalked closer to William, "And then you'll begin that selfish cycle with that money once again. Not to mention you will leave me homeless once my studies are finished. So no. I am not leaving my home."
In her angry stupor, Clarisse didn't register how close she had gotten to her uncle. Before she could step away, his hands shot out and pulled her close with a bruising grip, his alcoholic breath once again invading her senses like the day before. She turned her head to the side to avoid the smell, but that only gave him the chance to say his hard words right into her ear, "You don't have a say in this! You never have, and never will."
Next thing she knew, she was harshly shoved onto the ground, her elbows taking the brunt of the fall. Groaning, she made movements to get back up but froze when something gleamed right in front of her. Clarisse slowly rose her glance to see a knife from the counter in front of her face. Her breath caught in her throat, fear trapping her in place. Moving her eyes further up, she saw the crazed eyes of someone she wished she didn't call her uncle.
"I could easily kill you instead. It would save me the trouble." William mumbled the last part, his serious contemplating causing anxiety to run through her body. After a dreadfully long moment, the knife was pulled away, the sight of her uncle blurry due to the tears pooling in her eyes. With the imminent danger away from her face, Clarisse sucked in a few breaths, her body sagging with relief on the floor.
As if he were being merciful, he spoke with control, "Go to your room. Pack. A carriage will be here tomorrow morning to take you away. Get out of my sight."
With those words, Clarisse scrambled towards the hallway, making it up the stairs and into her room in record time. Almost repeated as she did the day before, she locked her bedroom door and slid down to the floor, this time to put a hand to her chest and calm the harsh and hard beating of her heart. But the anxiety that filled her turned to panic at a sudden moment. The blonde's breaths didn't seem to supply her with enough air, her chest feeling tight. Her vision tunneled, black edging around her sight. And before she knew it, her head and body felt light, the black overcoming the room and her unconscious body slumping to the floor.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
The flight from Neverland, as easy and forgetful as it usually was to Peter, was filled with the promise of an actual task. Usually, whenever he went out and about into the world he originated from, the thought of venturing into an open window and seeing what youth was beyond would appear out of nowhere. But he'd never come back to the same window. He'd never wanted to, let alone promised to.
With his willingness pushing him forward, he flew past Big Ben, the late-night chime signaling bedtime for everyone in the city. Finding the window he was looking for proved to be an easy task with his cleverness (Tinkerbell definitely led him quite a bit,) but he frowned when he found it closed. Peering through the glass while Tink made work of the lock, all Peter could see was darkness in the room. No candles seemed to be lit. Maybe she's already asleep.
With a click, the window waved open, allowing Peter to float to his feet, his eyes adjusting to the dark. He stepped to the bed in the middle of the room, expecting to find Clarisse, but she wasn't there. A jingle to his right turned his attention towards the bedroom door, "Peter, look!"
On the floor was the girl, seemingly unconscious. With a gasp, Peter dashed over, kneeling down and shaking her shoulder, hoping for a response. Clarisse woke up with a start, her eyes struggling to see in the soft wash of moonlight. After a moment, she could make out Peter's face, Tinkerbell's aura illuminating his features. He seemed almost angelic, but the feel of his hands on her shoulders holding her up grounded her and brought her mind back to the world.
"What happened?" The blonde voiced her confusion.
Peter just shrugged, "I dunno, I just got here and found you on the floor." He then gazed down, looking oddly bashful, "I thought something might've happened to you."
Clarisse shut her eyes, remembering what actually did happen earlier that evening. Her life was threatened by someone she was supposed to trust, their ill intentions finally coming to light rather than being hidden behind a false facade of care. Her body riled up in remembered anxiety, finding its way to her feet. Peter helped her up, watching her rush over to her wardrobe and pulling out a suitcase from the top.
"What are you doing?" He questioned.
Clarisse went to the lamp on the other side of the room and turned it on so she could see what she was packing. Her brisk pace made quite some noise as her school boots and uniform were still on, so she tried to be lighter on her feet.
As she answered, she felt her eyes sting with new tears, "I'm being sent away in the morning against my will. If I'm not ready to go, he'll-" She stopped herself, the now-familiar wave of panic rushing over her.
Peter was observing her as she walked around, genuinely confused by what she was going on about, but his child-like mind was back on the mission that he and Tinkerbell had discussed: taking Clarisse to Neverland.
"Clarisse!" She froze in her tracks, a little bout of anger and panic making her turn around and face the boy.
"What?"
A smirk graced his features, almost filling the room with a hopeful glow, "I wanna take you to Neverland!"
It was small; The sense of hope that blossomed in her chest. She heard the tiny jingle of Tink as she flew to land on Peter's shoulder, the bright light illuminating the boys face some more, the twinkle in his eyes so comforting and familiar, even though she'd only met him the night before. But just as fast as the hope appeared, it went away, reality looming over her.
"Peter, you seem to forget that I can't fly. I can't go with you." Her voice was filled with such sadness, but before she knew it, she heard a whoosh of air, the boy in front of her flying around her room.
"Anyone can fly! You just have to think happy thoughts and they'll lift you into the air." He maneuvered himself into sitting upside down on the ceiling, shrugging as if the act didn't take a care in the world, "It's easy!"
Clarisse's thoughts ran wild. She was torn.
Leaving the grasp of her uncle's threats was imperative. He made it clear what he would do to her if she didn't do everything he ordered. Her concern for her immediate well being trumped the need to stay in town.
But that was the other issue; her want to stay with what was left of her father. At the end of the day, he was all she had. In this world where everyone abandoned her, she felt that if she left this home that held so many memories, she'd lose him all over again. The young blonde slumped by the edge of her bed, stuck in the sea of her thoughts.
"Your thoughts don't seem to be very happy..." The boy who could fly pouted from above her, leaning forward in the air to get a better glimpse of her face. Clarisse couldn't help but bitterly chuckle in response as she looked up, catching Peter's gaze then feeling a light, glowing mass on her leg in front of her. She glanced down at Tinkerbell who seemed knowing.
"You should come, Clarisse! Those in Neverland have only the most wonderful adventures." The jingles were once again understandable to the young girl, the fairy's words having some sort of effect on her mindset.
The idea of going to Neverland truly did sound incredibly appealing to her. Anything that was related to Peter Pan had her chest warming up in this unexplainable way. She was almost convinced. Her doubt and questioning continued on. What would people think? Would people even know she disappeared? Would she come back from Neverland? Would she stay there forever?
The loud creak of a door opening down the hallway interrupted her thoughts. All heads in the room snapped towards the sound, and Clarisse's heart fell down to the floor.
"Oh no..." She breathed out in fear, knowing that if the noise the two were making didn't wake up her uncle, the light coming through her door would. All of a sudden, the blonde's thoughts were running through her head at a feverish pace. And as the heavy footsteps from the hallway came closer, Clarisse made the decision without an ounce of hesitation.
"Happy thoughts, you said?" She turned back to Peter, capturing his intense gaze, and closed her eyes allowing her focus to take over. She thought of her father; playing in the snow with him and spending hours on end together talking about everything and nothing. She thought of Peter, and the feelings he brought on that warmed up her soul. And with the faint noise of her doorknob jangling in the background, she thought of her dreams and the jungle that made her feel a sense of freedom unlike anything else.
And with a little help from Tinkerbell, Clarisse felt herself part from the floor, the impossible suddenly becoming possible. Peter grabbed her hand as she opened her eyes, gasping at the fact that she was closer to the ceiling than the carpet below. Both turned to the window, eager to fly away from the angry pounding and cursing coming from the hallway, "You wouldn't dare run away! I will find you, you selfish child. Open the door!"
Grateful that the door was holding up for this long, Clarisse turned to Peter, "We must go. Now," a soft smile graced her features, "take me to Neverland."
And with that, she left this life behind, eager to start living a new one.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
Notes
chapter written/edited on October 26, 2020
When I say this chapter took me absolutely forever, I mean it took me MONTHS!!
This is only because so many little things here are important for what occurs later on and I wanted to make sure I took care of those continuities while making sure everyone stayed in character (I'm looking at you, Peter.)
Well anyway, I'm excited to hear what you guys think and what you are predicting will happen!
Much love, R. A.