Holland barely understood a word from her first class, mind too busy thinking about her last conversation with George. One would think the rough grumbles of Alastor could snap anyone out of their trance, but Holland was too submerged within herself. Things were not going well, but they weren't officially broken up. Once class had dismissed, the girl went straight to the library, not wanting to be seen by anyone for the moment. The girl was snuggled between the violet velvet throw pillows, sniffling against the black school robes she'd pressed up to her nose. It was not the most sanitary nor ladylike, but Holland couldn't find the energy to care at the moment.
"What are you doing here all alone?" She hears a quiet voice ask. She had taken comfort in where her and Draco sat months before, scheming about Cedric, back when things still made sense. She turns to see Draco, himself. Holland had spent her first few minutes in the library laying down, appreciating the sound of the rain hitting the glass of the window, debating whether or not she should pick up a random book in hopes of falling asleep faster.
"Why aren't you in class?" She asks grumpily, the two had spent the first period seated next to each other, Draco pleading for her to talk to him, and the girl ignoring him. Holland had enchanted the hidden part of the library to have a cushioned floor so she could bring a pillow from the chairs, planning to take a short nap. Draco had been sporting their usual uniform shirt and cloak, leaning against the bookshelf as he cocked his damp head to the side at the sight of his clearly upset friend. Holland inwardly smiled, she knew the boy had a soft spot for rain, he'd probably taken his time walking under it on the way to the library.
"Didn't feel like it was the best of my interest," Draco shrugged, making his way to lie down next to his friend. He turned to look at her, really taking in her appearance. It had barely been 12 in the afternoon, but the girl looked like a mess. "Are you alright?" He asks once more, sounding so concerned. The simple gesture made Holland burst in tears. Holland had never been one to hide her emotions, she'd grown up not knowing how to keep her tears in, and once they began to fall, she never learned how to make them stop, either. So when her usually cold, distant, and not at all emotionally literate friend had been showing concern and affection for more than an hour as she'd been trying her best to keep it in, Holland could n longer help herself.
"No," She said in a wobbly voice, turning around to hug Draco and weep into his cloak. The boy stiffens, startled at how quickly things had escalated. He knew she was upset, and he knew he didn't want her to stay upset, but the boy had no idea what he could contribute.
"What's with you?" He asks eagerly, finally hearing his friend respond to the question. She brought up her hand to her nose, wiping away any snot that would possibly stain the poor boy's cloak.
"Things aren't going too well for me right now." Holland lifts her head to look at him as she sniffles. The boy nods, gesturing her to carry on, her brown eyes boring into his grey ones. "I know blood-traitor boys aren't the best of your interest, either.. But Draco, I'm falling apart." She sobs, Draco sucked in a breath. He really wanted to be good for his friend, but talking about filthy muggle-befriending sorts made it difficult for him. What would his father say if he were to find out about this? Without thinking, her platinum haired friend engulfed her in what seemed to be the warmest hug she'd ever received. Holland was downright weeping at this point, relishing the sanctuary-like feeling of being in Draco's embrace. Once he let go, Holland saw the fury in his eyes, his pupils almost a dark gray as he fumed quietly.
"Do you ever come to realize that boys who make your tears fall are the boys that aren't worth a single drop?" Draco asked, and though his concern had really warmed Holland's heart, she knew he thought the problem could be solved by cutting off all ties with both boys. Holland remained patient, not at all angry with the boy. She simply shook her head, figuring he should understand fully.
"Draco, it's not that simple." Holland said, then began to tell him the entire story. She took her time, sobbing and gasping for air here and there, but her fellow Slytherin remained silent and patient, politely waiting for her to finish.
"In what world is it normal where a completely perfect pureblood has managed to wedge herself in the middle of two useless bloodtraitors?" Draco mumbles to himself, Holland hearing and him immediately raising his hands in defense. "Clearly the world of Hogwarts." He muttered, not wanting to argue with his friend, but not bothering to hide is disgust towards the situation, either. "Banter aside, you'll find your path to the right person." Draco says, rolling his eyes. Holland scoffs at this, In what world is it normal for Draco Malfoy to give his friends advice about love? Clearly the world of Hogwarts. "You should have told me sooner, you know. I happen to be pretty good with this stuff."
"Right." Holland mutters, hugging her friend. "As much as I want to grab your head and repeatedly bang it against this shelves at times, I still consider myself lucky being able to see this sap side of you." Holland smiles teasingly at her friend.
"Don't get used to it, this is strictly a one-time occurrence." Draco narrows his eyes at Holland. Draco found the action of showing of profound emotion or even kindness was a sign of weakness, making it his duty to try and conceal every bit of his as much as he could as he knew that was what his father would have wanted.
"Uh-huh. That's what you said our first year." Holland chuckles, laying back down and trying to get that nap she came to the library for. She blinks open one eye to check on the platinum-haired grump, patting the pillow next to her, inviting him over to come nap with her.
"God, this girl behaves like she doesn't already have a lifetime's worth of detention." The boy grunts, joining the girl in her sleep anyway before casting a charm that would appear as if the space they'd occupied were empty, like there were no students sleeping there.
-
Each of the portraits let out their usual expressions of greeting towards the curly-haired Slytherin they'd spent the last few months greeting as she walked pass them, the girl quietly mumbling her hello's and waving timidly as she was still upset. Holland miserably trudged her way to the kitchens, dreading the fact that she had to lock eyes with the boy who'd single-handedly turned her life upside down. Her slippers made unpleasant scuffing sounds against the floors as she miserably dragged her feet across, leaving an echoing sound that was sure to notify the boy of her presence.
"You're upset." She hears him say, not even needing to look at him. Holland knew she had to look at him to avoid any suspicions, but she decided that she could do that some time later. She slowly walked, even more so as she realized she was only less than 5 feet away from him now.
"I don't know about that. What makes you so sure?" She challenges, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.
"I just know," He says confidently, hopping off the bench-like space that was the windowsill and walking towards the girl who'd been avoiding his gaze. He took his chances, placing his hands on her shoulders in hopes of having her looking at him, she shrugs away from his touch.
"Please tell me. You may feel like you can't, but you can trust me." He says softly, his breath fanning over her ear as she was still turned away.
"I may or may not be in a predicament with my significant other." Holland begrudgingly admits, not wanting to say any more information. She shifted her weight between her feet repeatedly, not knowing what else she could do to keep her eyes preoccupied.
"And?" He tried to have her say some more, but Holland wouldn't give. "Please? I can't bear to see you like this." He pleas. He didn't want her to feel as if he was forcing himself unto her.
"Bugger," Holland grunts grumpily to herself. "I don't know if I'm with the right person. Frankly, I don't know if I even deserve to be loved. I've done nothing but behave like a prat and throw spells at you all my life, so I can't exactly complain now, can I?" She laughs out in disbelief, shaking her head at her own predicament. She'd been nothing but longing for George to be hers, once it happens, she's wound up wanting to break his heart and doing so repeatedly.
"You.. You don't think you should keep dating George?" Cedric asks, seeming to have only heard that part of the sentence. Holland rolls her eyes, not wanting to say more as she'd said too much. Out of all the other people she could have shared that to, she'd said it to the boy who wanted to yank her from the arms of George. "Holland," He says, grabbing both her hands and cradling it in his. "Be with me." He says, begging, not offering.
"I'm not going to promise you that." Holland shakes her head, forcing her eyes shut, afraid to look at him.
"I'm not asking you to promise me anything. You don't need to promise me anything. But I promise you that I will spend the rest of my days cherishing you, being honest with you, taking care of you for as much as I can.. And loving you for as long as life permits. I'm not saying I'm galaxies better than George, " He stops, breathing before speaking once more. "I promise you that I can live the rest of my life sleeping soundly knowing I'm the idiot you've chosen to let love you." Holland slowly opens her eyes, head not being able to understand all the words being spoken to her. She was fifteen, for Merlin's sake! Shouldn't she just be worrying about stuff like pie and homework?
"I can't do this," She says turning her head away, not exactly knowing what she meant.
"You don't have to do anything right now. Just... think about it, okay?" Cedric says comfortingly. Holland slowly nods, not feeling like she'd solved any of her problems whatsoever. If anything, feeling like she had just earned more problems to worry about.
-
"The fact that I'm the last person you've spoken to about this kid of stings, Holly." The twin shook his head disapprovingly. Holland plucked up the courage to enter the Great Hall despite knowing she'd be facing George, but had only been met with one of two twins. Holland placed her hands on the shiny wood of the table, not bothering to grab food to bite into as she'd lost her appetite since the day George and her had that dispute in Mad-Eye's classroom.
"What was I supposed to think, Freddie? He's your twin brother, for goodness sake! I didn't want to drop this burden unto you." Holland did feel guilty, but she didn't feel it to be right going to Fred first. If anything, Fred might even tell George.
"I know. But it was you who said that we needed more time together at the Yule Ball! This would have been the perfect opportunity!" He exclaims, immediately regretting it once his eyes rest on the miserable looking girl. "Right, now that we're done yelling. On to what's really important. My brother." Fred says, offering his hand at the girl in front of him and leading her out of the dining hall to a broom closet, the same one she and Hermione had been in.
"What is this?" Holland questioned, wondering why the two had to be in such a secluded room to talk.
"A broom closet, Holland. Rooms for little sticks of hair-like strands to sweep around little messes and such used by us normal, ugly people." Fred smiles at the girl, earning a smack on the head. "Ow! Sure have missed you, Holly. Your hands, however, not so much." He groans in pain, rubbing his head to soothe the pain. Holland chuckled bitterly as she eyed the closet suspiciously.
"You going to lock me in here until I tell you I'm forever staying your sister-in-law?" Holland jokes as the redhead opens the door, revealing an empty broom closet that they were going to talk in.
"Something like that." He says. As Holland enters, the door immediately shuts. She began to turn her head around various directions for a way out, eyes meeting with a tall figure she hadn't seen when Fred opened the door. George. He was leaned up against the dusty corner, his head just barely hitting the hanging switch of the light.
"Goodbye, guys. Kisses!" A muffled Fred says from the other side of the door, his shadow from underneath indicating that he had indeed left the pair. Holland hesitantly brought her eyes up to the boy in front of her. Holland slowly made her way towards the door, hands grabbing the handle. George's heart breaks as he realized what the girl wanted to do, eyes slightly brightening when he found out she had only intended to lock it. This let the boy earn an ounce of confidence, letting him feel prepared to talk to her.
"Hi," He tried to smile.
"Hi," Holland tried to say happily and failing miserably, hands coming up to her face to wipe away already-flooding tears. This was her third time crying that day, fingers and numbers were no longer enough to be able to total her crying for the entire year. George immediately approaches her to hug her.
"Holland, look at me." He said softly, voice breaking as well. Holland took a deep breath before letting her bloodshot eyes meet the redhead's own, more tears streaming as she realized he had been crying, too. "I love you." He said, Holland began to sob even harder, chest heaving erratically as she began to hiccup from her sobs, George holding her in an embrace to try and stabilize her. "I love you." He said again, their faces close to each other. His breath was fanning over her lips and Holland had to fight hard not to close her eyes at the feeling. If it were any other day, he could have been staring into her eyes for a minute before suddenly attacking her neck with playful bites and kisses. "I love you so much it hurts, Holland. But to rid you from a chance of true love would be the most selfish thing a boy like me could ever do to a gem like you." He admits, wiping the girl's tears with his thumbs. It was a tragic sight for anybody who could see the two, to be young, to be in love, and to be in pain. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I just couldn't imagine how I could carry on my days knowing I'm not the one for you anymore. It's a bit heartbreaking." He tries to laugh.
"Breaking your heart was the last thing I'd ever imagine myself doing," Holland said, visibly frustrated with herself.
"Me and my little, old heart will be fine as long as you're out there taking care of yours." He tells her sincerely, eyes closed and gritting his teeth as he was trying not to kiss her temple. "Besides, I understand." Holland looked at him in confusion. "I love you, but I think it's best to admit that you've got a point. Being somebody who gets to call you his own was more than a blessing given to me, believe me. But there's just something about us that's... off, in a way? I don't quite understand it, either. Maybe we're just too young." He chuckles lightly, brushing away the strand of hair stuck to Holland's face due to being wet with tears.
"You're still the best thing that's I've ever been able to call mine. You know that, right?" Holland asks, looking at him.
"Of course, I do. No Diggory could ever change that." He winks, surprising Holland.
"How are you so sure that it's him?" Holland narrows her eyes.
"When you had finally become my girlfriend, I made myself a promise." George admits."After a while of thinking, I knew I wanted nothing more than to make sure you were always okay.. I always thought about your future, and if I would be lucky enough to be part of it.." He inhales, Holland placing her hands on his tie and fidgeting with it as she listened to him."If I'm not the lucky man to carry you home, take care of you, to maybe even marry you, there'd only be one other bloke out there allowed to, and I think that lucky bloke's Cedric." Holland's grip on his tie tightens. She looked lost, and the boy just chuckled. "It may not seem like it, given my initial reaction. But I had only been so angry because I had hoped that it wouldn't come to a point of me giving you away. I really thought you were the one. Still do, to be honest." Holland felt her heart break, her eleven-year-old self would have died fawning over what he had said, but she'd grown. She knew what she really needed, not what she wanted. The two were finally speaking again, and things would patch up and eventually be okay.
"There will not be a day in this universe where I stop loving you." He tells her sincerely, hugging her once more. The two relished being in each other's arms one last time as girlfriend and boyfriend, George taking a peak at his watch and then at Holland who'd been looking at him already. "One last kiss?" He asks hopefully with a childish grin, Holland happily agreeing before chuckling and pulling his head down using his tie before kissing him for the last time. George tangles his hands in her hair, smiling at her once they'd broken apart.
"Another one last kiss?" He asks hopefully, Holland blushes as the two begin to chuckle.
-
Despite the breakup, Holland felt quite okay. She cried herself to sleep for a few nights, but had recovered quite fairly. It helped that the two had ended on a good note. And who knows, maybe in time they'd find theirselves with each other, once more. She happily skipped to the kitchens, smiling and taking a seat next to the bag that belonged to Cedric Diggory, his belongings letting Holland know he'd already arrived. Must have gone off to the loo, Holland thought. She smiled as she began to run her fingers through the fabric of the boy's bag, hand stopping when it had felt something firm and shaped like a specific bottle Holland was too familiar with. She tried to get a better grip in curiosity, wondering what it was in the boy's bag. It had been placed in an outer pocket, must have been not placed so well as it falls out of the pocket once Holland tried to get a better grasp. Holland couldn't believe what was there sprawled across the castle floor in front of her. She picked it up with shaking hands, praying it wasn't what she thought it was.
She knew it all too well. It had been shaped just like the bottle Cedric used to pour in her flask that day in detention. She turned the bottle around to see if there was anything that could indicate that it wasn't what she was thinking. On the backside, there had been a written note. 'I suppose I owe you one that's brewed right, eh? Use it well. - D.O.' She checked and rotated the bottle with shaking phalanges to look around it to see if it were the same, her head shaking in disbelief. After shaking small bottle, it had made a swooshing sound, meaning it was not the same bottle of amorentia Cedric emptied empty in her flask. Holland brought it closer to her eyes, trying to make herself it was a different potion Cedric needed for some fucking reason. She opened the bottle in hopes of seeing liquid in a different color, feeling hot, angry tears flow down her face as she'd seen the pinkish-pearl color the love potion distinctly had.
-