CHAPTER THREE
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The feeling of loneliness isn't one that Mae learned to grasp. Even though she has been alone for most her childhood, been titled the aloof girl in elementary school— she was just alone, never lonely. Mainly because of her family. No one can ever quite understand what they are to her. Sure, she made a few friends here and there but the longest wouldn't be for more than a year.
But Saturday morning the foreignness of the feeling washed over her like a tide. She stands in the dining hall, left hand on the table for support, her toes tracing the length of her other leg. She doesn't dare look at her father's sad eyes, guilt ridden and sympathetic. Not her mother's who stands next to her husband, head in her palm. Not even Sarah who stands in the far corner of the hall, arms folded as she rolls her eyes at her sister.
"It's only a month, Mae. Please don't overreact." She speaks bravely, scoffing at the end. Maya widens her eyes at her older daughter, silencing her instantly. Sarah is still nonchalant as she narrows her fox-like eyes at her sister. Maya takes the next initiative, coming forward before clutching Mae's shoulders. The young girl still refuses to look up, chewing her lips aggressively.
"Mae, honey." Maya calls. Mae still doesn't budge. "It's not that we intended for you to be alone. It's just bad timing. You know how sometimes our jobs can be overly important." She waits for Mae to reply but she still doesn't, and Maya isn't angry at her for that. Mae's reaction might be a little overdramatic but in the end, it isn't her fault. Maya has always felt guilty for stealing most of Mae's childhood, restricting her from going out of the house for most days, feeding her abysmal tasting medicines. Mae's reaction right now is just the consequence of that, of not having anyone else to rely on other than her family. Plus, it is the first time Mae would have to live without neither of her family members for more than twenty four hours.
"Besides, it's not like you'll be alone. Gwen will keep you company. You two are close, right?"
Mae finally looks up, teeth grinding the skin off her lips. "Yeah." Her voice is coarse.
Mae isn't sad about their departure. She will miss them extremely, but it's not that. Mae is furious. But she won't show it.
Her mother just received a new project, one where even Sarah gets to work alongside her. It's Sarah's first mission and Mae wants to be happy for her. But the anger takes over. Her father and Dr. Connors began working on a project of their own, about the cross-species genetics ( she has a feeling it has something to do with Peter's answer that day ), and along with that, he too has a part to play in Maya's project at S.H.I.E.L.D. They need a brilliant scientist, and Harry is better than brilliant.
She isn't angry that her family would leave her alone for a month ( that's only part of the whole reason ). She's angry because they are leaving her out of it. It's a mission involving an entire family of geniuses and brave-hearts and Mae isn't a part of that even though she is a part of the family.
But is she really?
Her mother can only smile as she strokes Mae's slightly damp cheeks from crying moments ago. Mae forces a smile for her sake, for her whole family's sake. Even if it feels like she isn't theirs anymore.
Of course, Mae's being ridiculous. She scolds herself in her head. They are your family, they obviously love you. You're just not made for this. Not yet. But right now it feels like no one cares about Mae's emotions, all they care about is her health.
"I've already spoken to George, the Stacy's are more than welcoming to have you over." Maya bobs her head encouragingly, causing her golden curls to jump. She has the most beautiful hair Mae has seen, but only Sarah had the privilege of inheriting her hair. As usual. "And I hear Gwen is thrilled."
Mae nods her head with disinterest. "Ditto."
Two days later, Mae is rushed into the Stacy's home. Her parents managed to come up with a lame, yet believable excuse: a family emergency. No one can question anything so personal, and the reason for Mae staying back is even simpler and one that anyone can believe. She has her tests next week that she must attend. Every one who knows Mae is well aware of her sheer passion in her education, especially experimentation. No one would question that which means that no suspicions would arise. This is the most convenient thing for someone like Maya Evans.
The minute after she bids farewell to her family, Gwen and Mae plop on their separate beds in Gwen's bedroom. The room is coloured in full shades but the lamps give with a beautiful bronze tinge that shine into her blue eyes. Mae finds herself smiling at the bookish scent that the bedroom emits. It's enough to make her feel home as she allows herself to get cozy into the mattress.
"You're not happy about them leaving are you?" Gwen is the first to break the silence, sitting cross-legged on her mattress. Her knee-length boots were still on, her hair slightly messy from how she lept onto her bed a moment ago.
Mae pouts dishearteningly. Is she that easy to read? She turns her back to Gwen, burying her head into her pillow as she speaks. "Let's just say they should have taken me too." But could they have? Mae understands the situation her mother is in, her commitment she has to her job and the urgency in her mission. Still, she wishes she could be there with them like Sarah. I'm just selfish.
"Mae, you know that you could have joined them."
Except she couldn't. But she doesn't say that. She says nothing and remains silent, staring at the night glory of New York city through the window.
"Is this because of," Gwen says again, this time her voice is hesitant as though she is afraid of saying something wrong. Mae immediately catches on what she means. She turns around to face Gwen, the uncertainty the snow haired girl has is painted all over her face. Mae thinks it over for a while before shaking her head. By now she knows how to handle herself without her parents' help. All she requires is the regular dosage of her least favourite pills, and maintaining hygiene at all times. Her next treatment isn't for another two months, so taking care of herself isn't as hard as others would think it as. CVID can't be cured, but for the last fifteen years, Mae's body has begun healing slowly. She is still prone to various infections, but is more immune than she once used to be.
"It's nothing," Mae says instead, hoping to ease Gwen's worries. She turns around again, placing her head on her closed hands. "You don't have to worry about anything. Just, good night Gwen."
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It cannot have been later than 1 A.M. when Mae feels a pair of hands shaking her. She opens her eyes, the sleep already leaving her and even through her cloudy vision, she can see the distraught on Gwen's face. Thoughts still hazy, panic began brewing in Mae's heart with the fear of sudden bad news. That is the only logical reason for Gwen's tensed actions.
Mae pulls her back from the bed, trying to sit erect as she leans to the side to turn on the lamps. Gwen however swiftly slaps away Mae's hand before it could reach it. Mae flinches because of it, now her mind less dazed, turning her full attention towards her. This has to be the first time Mae saw Gwen with uncombed hair. Even without its usual tidiness, it seems like Gwen is more beautiful now.
"What's wrong?"
"There's been a murder today. On the streets. My dad has gone to investigate it further."
Mae's heart thuds against her chest, the fast beats take away the breath from her lungs. "A-a murder?"
Gwen slowly nods, biting her lower lip. She takes a few moments before proceeding. "I overheard my father on a phone call. It's a bad habit I picked up when I was young, eavesdropping even if I was fast asleep," Mae looks unflattering, begging Gwen to just get to the point. Gwen exhales. Long and tensed. "Mae . . . It's Peter's uncle."
Mae feels like she can breathe again one moment, but in the next a rope has caught up between them tying them together, forcing her to choke. It's like she has forgotten how to inhale, Peter's face screaming in her mind. "What? " She thinks she whispers, but her voice is louder than the wind howling in the night. But she hears what Gwen told her and she knows it's true. Peter's uncle, his guardian, was dead.
"Who?"
Gwen sighs, contended that she let the news out of her. "I don't know. Some kind of mugger, I guess. He was shot." Shot. He died painfully.
"Does Peter know?" Of course he does. But she doesn't know what else to say. Mae knows that if she loses someone in her family, any of them, she would be destroyed. She never wants to experience that even though she knows that she has to face it one day. Her family's life is her own.
Gwen nods, maybe realising Mae's ideas. She carries on anyway. "My dad's officers are there with him and his Aunt now. He's devastated. He was the one who found him lying like that."
A hand crawls on Mae's heart, digging it's fingers into it. It's too much. Peter doesn't deserve that.
When the girls hear the sound of the doorknob twisting, they hastily stumble on their beds. Gwen leaves her hand loosely to the side of her bed, a small act to convince her father that she is asleep. Mae faces away from the bed, although her eyes are wide open when she hears footsteps. Glassy tears block her eyes from the rest of the world, it's warmth drifted across her soft cheeks. When the door closes, Gwen doesn't come back to Mae and she doesn't know if it is because she is asleep or she too like Mae, are speechless.
She ends up not being able to sleep the night, the heartbroken face of Peter haunting her for the rest of it.
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Monday morning dawns upon them like every casual day. A new week at school, another brand new day. The corridor of Midtown High is as chaotic as ever with groups of teenagers clustered everywhere. Mae is thankful for the absence of the make-out couple when she reaches her locker, taking out her respective books. She doesn't leave once she gets them however. Her eyes dulls at the locker next to her, lying there untouched. Peter hasn't arrived yet and quite frankly, Mae doubts he would even be present. Sadness overcomes her, she leaves her locker and walks toward Gwen who waits near the staircase. At least Mae isn't alone.
A loud thud causes Mae to swiftly turn around. She isn't the only one, it seems like the whole corridor got distracted by the noise and when Mae finds the source she isn't surprised by it. Because Flash Thompson is hanging against the locker instead of Peter Parker, who Flash never fails to taunt in the mornings. What does shock Mae is Peter on the end, gripping on Flash's collars angrily.
Oh, How the tables have turned.
Peter doesn't meet his eyes as Flash apologieses for what Mae guesses as his uncle's demise. He retrieves his hand aggressively from Flash's collars and paces into the corridor, avoiding everyone's gaze.
Mae begins to ponder on what to tell him, if she should even talk to him as Peter comes closer and closer. The brokenness in his eyes, it's even worse than what Mae has imagined. There's no right thing to say to him. Nothing would make him feel better.
Gwen takes charge and walks before Mae, waiting for Peter to come in front of her. When he does she calls out to her softly, and from behind Mae watches the whole scene. Gwen tries to hug him, to comfort him with physical touch. It helps in some cases, and maybe it did help Peter. But when Mae sees his eyes all her hopes have crumpled. He is in the verge of breaking down, eyes big and red. Looking at him this way feels like the brightest, happiest star is blacking out.
Peter doesn't return the hug, he pulls himself from her embrace now walking straight towards Mae. Anxiety fills within her when she realises she's clueless about how to help him, how to make him feel better.
When Peter walks past her, bumping his shoulders on hers, Mae realises that if she could wish for something it's not the cure for her disease. It's for not having to go through grief.
a/n:
this was mostly just a filler. i think in the next chapter (or chp5), we will fully get into the main plot of tasm1! hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave your thoughts.
(unedited)