M E G A N
Right after helping Rachel pack her things, I packed my own things which were not much as compared to Rachel's. There are so many things about her I know I'll never understand, no matter how hard I try. I mean, how many clothes does she need to wear? The camp lasted for only two weeks. i'm sure she didn't even wear some of the clothes she brought along with her to camp. I looked at my watch. 3:30 p.m. Just a few minutes till the bus arrived. I said goodbye to everyone in my bunk before heading towards the large parking lot. The bus had arrived and thousands of teenagers rushed to find a seat. I found one just in time. As I sat in the bus, I pondered over all that had happened during the two weeks at camp. It was very stressful and hectic but I came through it. I'm just glad it's all over. Approximately thirty minutes later, the bus halted in front of my home. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned. It was Matthew. He wore a bright blue polo shirt which showed off his tanned skin. I woke up instantly and realized I had been drooling- how embarrasssing! I quickly wiped the saliva off and got off the bus. Steven, who came from nowhere, hugged me the moment I got off the bus.
"Your little brother, huh?" Matthew asked me.
I nodded,. Dazed, I went to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed. I was so exhausted. Mum was absent as usual. Soon, I dozed off. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
"Megan, Megan. Wake up!" Steven said.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"It's 4:30, I think", Steven replied.
I got up groggily.
"Is Mum here yet?" I asked.
"No".
"Then what are you doing here?"
"i'm hungry".
'Ok.. I'll fix something up".
I got up lazily from the bed and headed downstairs. I heard my phone ringing. I picked it up from under the pillow. I immediately recognized Jayda's phone number.
"Jayda? Is this really you?"
"Yeah. Who else would it be? I've missed you so much!"
'Yeah. Same here. So how's London?"
"It's great! I'm actually enjoying myself ere. So how was camp?"
"It was great. I know you won't believe it, but Rachel was at camp".
"Really? Are you serious?"
"Yeah, I am. She was really there".
"So, like, did she get kicked out or something?"
I was alarmed at the question Jayda asked me.
"No, she didn't".
"Oh, ok. Let's video chat. We have so much to talk about!"
"Sure. i'll video chat with you".
I wasn't sure the person I saw staring back at me. She looked like a totally different person. Is this what makeup does to people? Seriously? Our conversation was very awkward. We talked about school, friends, London, the summer camp and almost everything! Then, Jayda said something that totally struck me. She told me she would be returning to Minnesota very soon. I was excited but a little scared. If i couldn't recognize the Jayda I saw on my phone screen, how would I recognize her when I actually see her? We said our goodbyes and I made my way towards the kitchen, pondering over the conversation I had with Jayda. i mean, she didn't call or try to contact me when she was in London and then all of a sudden she calls and tells me she's returning home soon? What's up with that? And how was my friendship with Rachel going to affect my friendship with Jayda? Why on earth was my life so complicated?
Steven must have realized I was distracted because he gave me a strange look. i realized I was actually putting the macaroni in the frying pan. I pushed the annoying thoughts from my head and concentrated on my cooking. I spent the rest of the evening playing with Steven and watching kiddie shows with him on the television. i noticed soon enough that Steven was dozing off. I carried him into bed and went back to the hall. I heard the doorbell ring and opened the door. My mum entered in, her arm full of bags. i helped her carry the bags inside. She looked stressed as usual. I know Mum worked hard both day and night just to put food on the table. My mum slumped into the couch with her head in her hands. I hoped she didn't have one of those migraines again.
"Megan, could you please get me some aspirin?"
I nodded and took some aspirin from the medicine cabinet.
"Mum are you okay?" I asked after giving her the aspirin.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine", Mum replied.
"You know, you could go to the hospital if you don't feel well".
"Megan, I'm fine. Don't worry. It's just that..." Mum broke off and looked away.
"It's about Dad, right?" I scooted closer to her.
My mum nodded as tears started falling from her eyelids. I looked on helpless, trying to figure out how to comfort her.
"Mum, please don't cry. Dad will come back. He always does".
"Yeah, I know he'll return. But, I can't help worrying. This is the first time this has happened and I'm scared something bad has happened to him".
"Yeah, I know. But please stop crying".
"Yeah, you're totally crying. It's no use crying. Let's sort out the things I bought".
We took the shopping bags and began sorting out groceries. I went through some bags and saw clothes that looked like they were for Steven.
"Are these for Steven?" I asked Mum, showing her the shopping bag.
"Yeah", Mum replied after taking a brief look at the bag.
"So,.. you didn't buy anything for me?"
Mum stood closer to me and patted me on the back.
"Honey, you know getting money is difficult for me and Steven needs new clothes".
"Yeah, and so do I, Mum! The clothes in my closet have been there for two years straight and they haven't been changed. I've just been wearing the same old clothes".
"They're not old".
"They are, Mum. Think about this. When was the last time you bought me anything? You don't even give me Christmas or birthday presents anymore".
"Megan, I don't want to argue with you and I don't know what you're trying to prove by speaking to me this way. Do you want me to use your school fees to buy those clothes you want so badly?"
"No, Mum. I'm sorry for being so rude". I said bashfully.
I went to my bedroom with tears in my eyes. I plopped into the bed and stared up at the gray ceiling, my mind ravaged with thoughts. What had happened back there? Why was I so rude to Mum? Yeah, I needed clothes. But I could have asked politely. I guess I just have to apologize. It's so difficult being in a school where everyone has the newest clothes and I still wear something my mum wore when she was my age. I tried not to think too much asbout Dad but thoughts about him kept springing up. I tried not to worry. He was clearly an adult and could take care of himself. But I couldn't help but worry about him. I mean, he could be anywhere. But I couldn't dwell on that, could I? I wish I could do something about this but I can't. I guess I'll just have to see what happens next. I know it was useless trying to argue with my mum about clothes but I needed new clothes for school. I didn't just want clothes, I needed them badly. And I really mean it. Most of my clothes had mildew in them and I had very few clothes which were in good condition.
I thought everything at home would improve when my mum got a new and better job. But it was not the case. Mum spent all her hard - earned money on buying things for Steven or so it seemed. Why did everything seem to ngo wrong when I thought things would get better? Just as I was my mind was filled with these thoughts, a Bible verse popped into my head.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
In all things. In all things. So, that meant even in this hopeless situation I was in, God would work everything for my good. Yeah, I knew all that but why wasn't anything working for my good? Everything in my life was just going downhill. I randomly began singing "Holding On" by Jamie Grace. I had sung it so many times before now, but as I began to sing it, the lyrics made sense to me.
"I just keep holding on to what I believe.Oh, I believe in you.Give me the strength to fight and the heart to believe when it's hard to believe in you", I sang aloud.
All I had to do was to trust God and keep holding on to what I believe. I took my Bible from the nightstand. Strangely, it felt comforting to just hug the Bible, so that's what i did.