Chapter Twenty-Seven
My arms burn and sweat drips down my back as I pull my chin up over the bar another time. Slowly lowering myself back down, I take another breath before pulling myself upwards again. Holding myself up for a moment I drop to my feet breathing heavily. My arms are on fire from doing so many pullups. Looking into the mirror across the gym, I still look thin. But I needed to work out this morning, I couldn't sleep, and my anxiety was being insufferable.
"There you are!" Orion calls out and I look up and try to regulate my breathing.
"What?" I ask him and he looks at me.
"Go take a shower, we need to get going soon," he says wrinkling his nose and I slug him in the shoulder as I walk past.
"Don't take your anger out on your best friend!" He calls back laughing and I just grumble to myself as I climb the stairs needed to get back to my room. I take a very quick shower and pull my hair back into a tight bun, I yank a flowy shirt over my head and scramble to find my shoes.
"Where's Faith?" I hear Aviva's voice down the hall as I scramble for my phone and now charged watch.
"She was drenched in sweat about twenty minutes ago," Orion says smartly, and I make a high pitch noise that I know will bother him.
"Stop it, Faith! Hurry up!" Orion yells and I slam my door shut and jog over to the common area.
"Did you make that noise?" Aviva asks me and I just nod and stuff my trembling hands into my pockets as we head out.
Orion and Aviva chat easily about the office we are going to and I half-heartedly listen. Trying to control my breathing, it feels hard to focus on anything but putting one foot in front of the other. Orion loops his arm through mine and I look up surprised. He gives me a sad smile; he can feel my anxiety rolling off of me.
"I'm not sure if there's anything I can say to help, but the doctors in this practice are phenomenal. If you don't click with this one, there are at least five more you can set up an appointment with. Lena has been using them since she graduated grad school," Avi says and I try to give her a smile and a nod. It wasn't a lack of trust in the team's decision that is making me quake. It's the fear of having to look someone in the eye and tell them the horrible things I've done and been through.
We walk into a big building and take the elevator up a few floors before stepping off into a waiting room. Following behind Aviva, the secretary greets her excitedly. Aviva asks how her new dog is doing and I marvel at how natural the conversation is. She lists off all of our names and the secretary nods and starts pulling paperwork.
"I received the paperwork about Faith's and Orion's name change, there will be so more paperwork once that is settled. But for now, it's just a few forms," she says sweetly, and she hands us both clipboards.
"Thank you," Orion says, and I give her a small smile. Filling in and signing on the lines, Aviva gives me a hand when needed. Glancing at Orion, I see his page says Orion Kurning and I smile at that. All three of us are taking that last name while the other kids have opted to wait. When my name is finally called; my heart rate kicks up another notch and I try to keep my panic at bay.
"Fay?"
"What?" I ask confused.
"If you could survive two weeks in the hole, you'll just be fine talking to a psychologist," Orion says genuinely, and he gives me a big smile. Shaking my head at his antics, I can't deny that it puts a smile on my face for a moment as I join the woman down the hall.
"So Faith, what is going on with your last name?" The doctor asks while smiling and I try to calm my shaking hands.
"I'm in the process of formally being adopted by Ruka and Dax and I opted to finally have a last name," I say casually. She reaches into her desk and hands me a small brown paper bag.
"If you need it," she says quietly before pulling out her fancy planner. She turns on some music and I adjust the pitch on my watch accordingly.
"Ruka gave me a shortlist of what's been going on in the last few years. It was sort of out of the ordinary, but I can see why she might want to give me something to start with," the doc says and there is a twinkle in her eyes. Something about her is oddly calming but I have a hunch that she has a good sense of humor.
"I'm all kinds of screwed up, so I can't hold that against her, she did mention she might do it," I say trying to relax back into the little black couch.
"Weird, Ruka didn't add self-deprecating humor to this list," she says, and I crack a grin.
We go back and forth asking questions about what I am looking to work on first, and I ask her a lot about her multiple degrees. I start to ease into the conversation and the only thing that really sets me on edge is when she takes notes, but I know that's important for her to keep track of things. One of my favorite piano pieces comes on in a compilation of other songs and I find myself tapping to the beat and trying to be attentive to her questions.
"Well Faith, I will see you next week," Hope says as she walks me out and I see Aviva and Orion waiting for me.
"I told you, you would be fine," Orion teases and I make a face at him before we all leave.
"I've got to get to a meeting in Lena's place, I will see you two later," Aviva says cheerily before ducking down a side street and disappearing.
"You gave her the plans, right?" Orion tasks without skipping a beat.
"Yes, I can see Cabe is getting weaker. She's already got a prototype going with Alexander. They think they can probably replace them within a few weeks," I say quickly, and I spot Cabe making his way across the street.
"You could have at least voiced your concerns about my health to me," he drawls out and I give a sheepish look. I didn't want to worry him and make it worse.
"I'm sorry," I say and fall into step next to me.
"I've heard through the grapevine that there have been sightings of the General out in California," Cabe says quietly and I know we all have shit-eating grins.
"Lyle is out that way," I say offhandedly, he had moved almost two weeks ago at this point. Alexander is devastated by it, and I know Lena is saddened by it.
Thinking back to when Lyle was saying goodbye, there was a pain in his eyes he couldn't hide. Something has rocked his world and it almost feels like he's running away from it. Hopefully, he can get some solace away from New York.
"What part?"
"I think Northern, I'd have to double-check what city though," I say, and we cut through a few more streets.
"Well if you just so happen to have an excuse out the way, Orion and I could disappear for a few hours," Cabe says innocently and I smirk.
"I'll see what I can whip up," I say before we change the conversation.
"Faith!" I hear two voices scream and I whip around confused. I scan the crowd for familiar faces and spot Carter and Colton bolting towards me.
"Hey!" I say excitedly and I step off to the side. I feel Orion and Cabe drift behind me. I am surprised when I am nearly tackled into a hug.
"Nice to see you guys too," I say, and I give Orion a cue to calm down.
"How have you been? How's your health? How did your second surgery go?" Colton bombards me with questions and I swallow hard. What did Ruka and Dax tell the school?
"I'm on the mend, the surgery was okay. It's been a rough few months," I say with a weak laugh and they look at me sympathetically.
"We barely recognized you, but I would know that walk anywhere. You cut your hair! It looks good on you," Carter says sweetly, and I smile.
"Colton, Carter, these are two friends of mine that recently moved to New York, Cabe and Orion," I say, and the boys shake hands.
"We'll have to get lunch sometime and catch up," Colton says excitedly, and I nod.
"My number hasn't changed, just message me, okay?" I ask and they both bob their heads. Colton grabs Carter's hand and they wave goodbye and cross the street. A wave of sadness sweeps over me as I watch them walk away, I didn't realize how much I missed them until now. The chaos constantly swirling around me tends to make me lose sight of who is around me.
"Let's go, Fay," Orion says, and we continue our walk home but Cabe seems awfully quiet.
"Cabe, what's up?" I ask him as we enter the building and he looks surprised. Raising a brow at him, he gives me a sheepish look.
"Nothing's wrong," he says amused and I give him a look.
"Spill it Kurning," I tease, and he laughs. His eyes crinkle a bit and I don't feel the burning hatred I used to. He stood by my side when I needed him most, and although I still have a lot of things to work through. I am more comfortable in his presence.
"You called me your friend back there, and even if it was a passing comment. I never thought I would be able to have friends and live something that resembles normal. This all just feels so surreal," he admits and Orion grins at me.
"You are my friend, and I look forward to our new normal," I say sincerely, and we all grin like idiots.