When I awoke once more, feeling more rested than before, I noticed I had been moved back into the hospital bed. I sighed and looked around the room. Wilder sat beside me resting his head on the bed, hand in my hand. Willow and Zeke were both out on the couch towards the corner of the room. I turned to look at the clock on the wall beside the sink. It was 3am and desperately needed water. Pulling the needles out of my arm, I stood from my uncomfortable spot on the bed and stood, making my way to the sink. The small touches Wilder had been giving me must have kept me calm, but now without them, I longed to be in his arms. I quickly finished my water and moved back around the bed. I pulled his body up, and he groaned at the movement. I sat him up in the chair and climbed into his lap.
His chest was so warm, and I assumed I woke him up slightly, because he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I looked up trying to see his beautiful eyes, but they were still closed, and a beautiful smile made its way onto his face. He was beautiful. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I had longed for the loving touch of someone who truly cared about me my whole life, and now it feels like that is what I found. I smiled contently to myself and rested my head back down on his chest. Sleep overtook me, and I rested.
"Morning sleepy head." I stretched out, squinting my eyes due to the immense amount of sunlight that was attacking me. I was still in Wilder's arms, but the needles were back in my arms too. I just smiled a sleepy smile at him and he held me closer. I was content.
"Willow is the sleepy one." I mumbled against the fabric of Wilder's shirt. He chuckled but shook his head.
"She was pretty freaked out, we had to give her a sedative to keep her calm." Wilder sighed and looked back at Willow and Zeke, sleeping peacefully on the couch. I furrowed my eyebrows worried about my friend.
"How long have I been sleeping for?" I questioned.
"You were out for 5 days. When you woke up thats the last day you remember, I'm sure, then you slept for about 2 more days. About a week in total." He sighed and kissed my forehead in the process. I was still in shock from the last time I woke up. I didn't know I could make that much of a mess.
"Hmh," I mumbled against his collar bone. His arms were still wrapped around me in a comforting manner. I wanted to be open and honest with him, but I also didn't quiet trust him after the last time I decided to give him a chance. He didn't deserve a second chance. I can't trust him. He's been with me all throughout recovery, and he hasn't left my side. I should give him another chance to prove that he is sorry. My mom would agree. I felt a small tear slip down my cheek at the thought of my mother.
"Hey, what's wrong." Wilder asked, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. They showed apologetic sorrow, and I knew right then that I could trust him again.
"I need to tell you something." I mumbled out, but he clearly heard me.
"What's up, baby?" He questioned softly. I hummed internally at the pet name, but I kept my expressionless face outward.
"I want Zeke and Willow to know too." I sighed. Wilder lifted me from his lap and placed me back on the hospital bed. I took the time to oh so delicately rip the needles out of my arm. I noticed a small stream of blood make its way down my arm, but I was quick to pick up a piece of gauze and apply pressure to it before Wilder could see. I placed the needles back on the counter next to my bed, and Wilder chuckled.
"You hate those needles don't you." He chuckled, but I was unamused.
"They fuck with my brain." I growled out, directing my anger to the medicine they were injecting into me. Wilder laughed as he shook Zeke awake. Zeke popped his eyes open, and looked at who was disturbing him, but as his eyes fell upon Wilder, he seemed to calm down.
"The nurse hates that you take them out every time you wake up." Wilder said a bit more stern. He figured the nurse was right, but he was very wrong. I am the right one, and the nurse can deal with it. I scoffed and turned my head away from him.
"I don't give a fuck what the nurse wants." I laughed angrily. Wilder just shook his head smiling to himself.
"So stubborn." He mumbled, making his way back to his seat. Zeke was in the process of waking up Willow, and we all waited patiently for her to wake up. Slowly she started to come back to consciousness. She smiled softly up at Zeke, before looking around at her surroundings. She looks at Zeke the same way Wilder looks at me.
"Adi?" A voice broke me from the terrifying thought of love. I smiled over at Willow, and opened my arms for her. As soon as she noticed my awake, and calm, state she ran and jumped into my arms. I felt an ache deep in my body, but I wasn't going to say anything. She held me tight, until Wilder grumbled and asked her to give me some time to heal before being too rough with me. She returned the favor by rolling her eyes and making her way back to Zeke, pouting the whole time.
"She loves me more than you." Willow mumbled offhandedly. Wilder growled loudly, causing the whole room to shiver in a trance of his power. Willow jumped back into Zeke's arms, and shook in his hold.
"I have angered the beast." She whispered with a light smile on her face. I truly think she didn't have the capability to be serious.
"Don't growl." I demanded, insisting that he shouldn't be rude. Wilder just ignored me, and sent a glare her way. I broke the silence, looking around the room preparing myself for everything.
"I want to tell you all something." I sighed, and suddenly all eyes were on me. My heart rate spiked, causing the monitor to accelerate. I huffed angrily, and pulled the sensors off my skin. The monitor went dead, and Wilder was quick to turn it off completely. I think it scared him to not hear my heartbeat. I gently smiled and placed my hand in his before getting started.
"I was only six when everything happened." I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. Was I ready to let them into my walls? The walls I worked so hard to put up. Another deep breath. It will take a lot of tears and anger, maybe a little happiness, but I will break down my walls for them.
"My mother left for work early one morning as usual. She was a chef, I clearly didn't get any of her skill." Everyone chuckled light heartedly, but I just looked down at my feet. I trust them.
"Like every Other Saturday, I would wake up around eight and go downstairs to get some breakfast. My dad would work upstairs in his office and my mom would already be at work. Well, I was in the middle of breakfast when someone knocked on my door. It was the police saying my mother had died in a horrible car accident. My father was devastated and ignored me. Two years later my father killed himself and I was all alone." Tears started their slow pour, but I continue with my story.
"I was put in and out of foster homes. If I was lucky the family would abuse me, but I'm not a very lucky person. I was r-raped multiple times by my foster parents and I was abused by all of the homes I was in. Whether it be the kids hitting me or the adults. When I was sixteen my social worker gave up on finding me a home so I was put into an orphanage. I started h-hurting myself when my mother died, but my father didn't care so I continued to do it. Now it's a bad habit I have whenever I need an escape." I took a moment to retrieve air, trying to remain composed, but I was failing at it.
"I only had one friend named Sammy, she killed herself and I was all alone, again. As soon as I hit eighteen I left and found an apartment. I got Bebe and a job as a tattoo artist and a few other temporary small jobs until I turned twenty-one. I then got a job as a bartender. Only a month later the bar offered me a stripper job so I took it. I needed the money." I took a deep breath.
"I was only eighteen when I tried to take my life for the seventh time. I found a hotel, and I planned it all out. It just so happened that room service walked in at that moment, and found me trying to take my life. The man who found me was named Noah, and we eventually started dating. We were dating up until the day before you found me Wilder." I glanced up at him nervously.
"He hurt me. He raped and abused me, like many of the others I had in my life, but I couldn't get rid of him. He wouldn't let me." I looked down at my hands nervously.
"That's when you took me, away from him, away from my hellish life, and away from the stress. I guess thats my sob story." I still refused to look up at my hands, but I could feel everyone looking at me. When I finally worked up the nerve to meet everyone's eyes, I noticed each and every one of them had tears pouring down their face. This is it. I let them in, now it's up to them what they decide to do with that information. I did my part. Tears raced down my face in sorrow for my past, and relief for my future. A sob broke the silence, and Wilder was quick to jump on the bed with me. He held me in his own arms, until I could take a real breath again.
"All of the troubles from your past will never hurt you again, we won't allow it." Willow smiled gently at me from behind her tears. I smiled back and giggled at her warmth.
"Thank you, Willow. You're the best bestfriend I could have ever asked for." I laughed.
"It's true." Zeke stated. He was more serious. " I will never let anyone hurt you, ever again." He sounded angry, yet broken at the same time. His eyes told the whole story of pain for me.
"Thank you, Zeke." I smiled softly at him as well. "I trust you, and I know I will always have you to help me." I smiled, and he returned the favor. Wilder pulled me closer to him, and Zeke got the message.
"We'll let you to have some time." Zeke smiled at me again, before helping Willow up on shaky legs, and walked out with her. Once they left, I didn't know what do say. Wilder sat silently beside me, and I didn't even turn around to look at him. I could feel his knee resting on the small of my back, but there was not other contact between us. Finally, he broke the silence.
"Come here." He ushered me towards him. I immediately turned and found a place in his lap for me to sit. Thoughts were racing though my mind. He won't want me anymore. I'm not a virgin. I'm not smart. I'm used. Who would want something so broken. My thoughts were silenced when Wilder placed his arms around my shoulders and pulled me fully into his lap. I rested my head against his chest, and he sighed in content.
"When I was u-unconscious my mom came t-to me. I saw my mom." I said trying to get myself back together. Wilder smiled at my openness, and let me cry on him for as long as I needed.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are so special and you deserve every good thing that's coming for you. I will protect you from the bad so you can sleep." Wilder said as I yawned. He tightened his hold around me. Today had been an emotional roller coaster, but I knew that Wilder was there everything would be alright.
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Chapter 12! I hope this cleared up a lot of the story. I am trying to build a little bit of trust with Wilder, as I know it was pretty much ripped apart in the past few chapters. I hope you all enjoyed, and have happy holidays! I am planning on updating again today, and maybe even tomorrow for a Christmas miracle lol. I love you all, and stay safe and healthy over this holiday season. Another side note, does New Years give anyone else depression? Just me? I don't know why, but New Years is always so depressing to me, maybe because I am reluctant to change. Lets have a conversation about it haha.
I love all of you so very much. Comment. Vote. Talk to me please!
Have a good one peeps!
Love
-B
12/24/20