Leah
I was never a huge fan of the camera, mainly because the moment gets lost behind the lenses, it gets stained by the filters that we apply. I much rather prefer painting the moment in my memories. I believe in living the moment rather than capturing it. I believe in appreciating what's in front of my eyes rather than looking at it through lenses.
Right now, the gorgeous boy sleeping beside me with his unruly hair sticking out in all directions, and his cheek squished across his pillow, was the sight that I want to hold in my memory forever, in all it's raw and pure form.
His left leg was sprawled across mine and his hand across my stomach was holding me in place as I stared at him like a creep. But could you blame me when you're having such a good looking boy sleeping beside you?
This boy's skin was fucking glowing and I was tempted to trace the outline of his face with my fingers. Oh and not to forget those soft tufts of his curly hair that I so badly wanted to brush away from his forehead. Since I was staying at the Adams', we have been sharing a bed almost every night, and waking up beside him with these urges had become a regular thing for me. But sadly, those urges never got satisfied.
It's crazy how after all that had happened in his past, he was still standing strong. The things that he had to go through and the sights that he had to witness, no twelve-year-old should go through that, neither should a seventeen-year-old had to lose his life for unveiling an illegal activity.
I brought my hand closer to his face and that's when he decided to open his eyes, the blue in them sparkling when they settled on me. His lips tugged upwards into one of his eye-crinkling smiles but then his gaze fell on my raised hand and his eyebrows pinched together in confusion. Begrudgingly, I retracted my hand and shrugged my shoulder at him.
"Leah, are you awake?" A knock sounded on my door followed by aunt Lisa's voice. Shit! Lord, don't let her walk in. She doesn't need to know that we slept in the same bed. She's basically an elder version of Avery.
"Yeah, just give me a minute," I yelled as I wiggled to get out of Ethan's grasp who by the way had tightened his hold on me. "Let me go." I hissed and punched his arm which had absolutely no effect on him. He smirked at me. "Get up and get on the couch, you dimwit."
"Leah?" Aunt Lisa called.
"Just a moment," I yelled and forcefully shoved him but he didn't budge and just continued smirking at me. Next, he did something that's surely going to embarrass me in front of aunt Lisa.
He fucking moaned.
Loudly.
"You better be fully clothed, Leah." Aunt Lisa yelled and everything happened so fast after that, I didn't even get the chance to blink. Ethan had taken his t-shirt off, pinned me down on the bed, and was straddling my legs as the door opened followed by a gasp from aunt Lisa.
"Should I burn the sheets after you go?" She looked from me to Ethan and then back at me.
"What? No. We didn't do anything on the bed." I replied, looking at anywhere but aunt Lisa.
"Yeah, nothing on the bed. Can't say the same thing about the couch." Ethan pretended to look ashamed and I kicked his back. "Why'd you kick me? Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? My bad. Aunt Lisa knows now."
"Fucking shut up!" I exclaimed and whacked a pillow on his face. "You idiot, why do you always have to say inappropriate things at inappropriate times?" And that too in front of people like Avery and adult-Avery.
"Don't be so hard on that kid, Leah. It's alright if you two did it on the couch. But that thing is really uncomfortable. Once your uncle Jeremy and I tried doi-"
"Alright. I didn't hear anything. Nope, nothing." I ranted, my fingers stuck in my ears. "Any reason for your arrival?" I asked, pushing Ethan off my legs and he grunted as he fell on the floor.
"Your mom asked me to check on you. Have you packed your stuff?"
"I didn't even unpack." I smiled sheepishly and rubbed my neck. Ethan shook his head and muttered 'I'm not even surprised.'
"Alright. Now get up and get ready. You both have a long way to drive." She said and left.
"Are you going to go first?" I asked and pointed to the bathroom.
"I believe in saving water. How about showering together?" He smiled cheekily at me.
"Moron," I huffed and walked into the bathroom to get a shower.
Dressed up in a grey t-shirt and a pair of leggings, I walked out of the bathroom to see Ethan looking all dressed up for the eight-hour drive.
"Aren't you going to shower?" I asked and he looked up from tapping on his phone, his eyes taking in my form. He shut his eyes and shook his head a bit as he stood up in front of me his gaze intense as he held mine.
"Leah, I…" Again he closed his eyes tightly and opened back to stare into mine. "Leah, would you…" Okay, heart, just freaking calm down. Nothing is happening here. No need to roar.
"Leah, would you mind if we visit the cemetery before leaving Eugene." His eyes roamed along the confines of the room but not even once met mine. I knew it wasn't what he wanted to say. I could feel it from the way he was avoiding my gaze.
"Yeah, sure." I folded my arms across my chest and studied his face. He was sweating profusely. "Was that all you wanted to say?" I asked, giving him a chance to change his statement.
"Yup. That was all. Come, let's get going." I sighed and followed him as he carried his bag downstairs.
"We will come home by Tuesday." Mom said as she pulled away from the hug and kissed my cheek. "Drive safe." She further proceeded to hug Ethan as well which was really weird because mom was even shorter than me and this boy was fucking 6'4.
"I will, Aby," Ethan said as mom let go of him.
"Thank you, son. Not for just bringing her here, but being there for her." Dad looked from Ethan to me and then back at him with a proud beam on his face as he patted his back.
"Don't thank me, Keith. I had promised someone that I'll look after my loved ones." He said as he held my gaze. Dad looked as if he could burst with happiness at any moment. Mom was rocking on her heels as she tried to contain herself from falling into fits of giggles. Even uncle Jeremy and aunt Lisa were grinning from ear to ear. Whereas I just stood there, dumbstruck, trying to comprehend what he just said and that too in front of my family. But the most concerning thing about this entire situation was how pleased dad looked with Ethan's reply. Shouldn't he be scaring the boy away?
"Leave before she collapses." Dad chuckled and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at him.
'Don't stop believin' by Journey was playing on the radio as we drove towards the cemetery with Ethan humming the tune, one hand on the steering the other resting on the window. I was still trying to process his words from earlier and the possible meaning behind them made me warm and fuzzy from inside.
The car came to a halt and we stepped out. It rained all throughout the night and now it had ceased, except for an occasional drizzle. The soil at the cemetery was squishy and slippery as Ethan led the way. The water droplets from the grass soaked into my leggings and seeped in through my shoes making it rather challenging to walk. Ethan stopped walking and stood in front of a grey gravestone.
'Nathan Adams. Beloved son, brother, and friend.' On the topmost part of the headstone, engraved in smaller font, were the words 'Sorrow passed, and plucked the golden blossom.'
"Nathan was a sucker for Brontë's works. All of them. He had read those works multiple times. Whenever he felt low or whenever he was stuck with something, he'd turn to Brontë." There was a slightest of smiles on his face as he spoke about his brother.
"It was his escape?"
"It was his anchor." He looked me in the eye and for a moment I forgot that we were at the cemetery, standing in front of his brother's grave. His gaze was tender as he studied my face for a reaction. It was as if he wasn't talking about his brother. I couldn't handle it. Not with the way he was looking at me.
I turned my face to look around the cemetery. A few meters away from Nathan's tombstone was my grandma's. It stood all in its white glory under the grey and gloomy sky.
Suddenly Ethan let out a chuckle and when I looked at him there was no trace of humor on his face.
"Look at the irony, Leah. These tombstones are going to be standing here for more than hundreds of years, all strong and looking youthful yet the person had already perished." He knelt in front of the grave and brushed his fingers across the engraved letters. "Even though this tombstone is cold right now, Nathan's heart was the warmest." He closed his eyes and touched the ground before bringing his hand to his chest.
It was twice in a day I was staring at him like a creep. It was twice in a day his words had left me speechless. Except, this time his words had a different impact. They struck me like nothing else and God forgive me for saying these words while standing in a cemetery but, "What the fuck?"
"You were right, Leah. Reminiscing the past isn't hurtful anymore now that I have accepted it. Of course not completely but I'm getting there." He looked up at the sky and a raindrop fell on his forehead. He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them to look at me they were a deep shade of blue.
"Your peace of mind is all that counts." I reached out and caressed his cheek and he leaned his face into my palm.
"I didn't visit his grave after his funeral. Not even once." He said and ran a hand through his hair as my hand fell to my side. "I tried to come, but every time I stood in front of the gates of the cemetery, his blood-drenched corpse would cloud my eyes and I would cower back."
"But you did it today."
"It was because of you." He smiled down at me and I scorned.
"Ethan, just stop giving me the credit for everything. It was all you." My voice raised by an octave. "It was you who took the courage to relive your past while sitting at the doorsteps of your old house. It was you who decided to come here. It was you who walked all the way here without cowering back. Why don't you realise that it was you who made up the mind of doing it all?" I didn't realise how loudly I was speaking until the dead-silence rang in my ears. "Why don't you realise how strong you are." I whispered, scared that I'd disturb the peacefully resting souls here.
I looked down at my feet, as anger took over my emotions and I gasped for breath feeling breathless from my outburst. I don't care if I came out rude but I meant every single word that I said. He should learn to stop being hard on himself.
A finger wrapped under my chin tilted my head up and a pair of blue eyes gazing down at me had my heart beating wildly inside my chest. He leaned forward to press his lips on my forehead whereas I stood shell-shocked with all the fuzziness and warmth in the pit of my stomach.
What's with these waves of emotions? Just a minute ago I was panting with fury because of his stupidity and not even a few seconds later I was feeling fuzzy and warm from within, also because of him. It was a mere kiss on the forehead, for crying out loud. What was even happening? Have I totally lost it?
And when he smiled down at me, I had this urge to keep that curve intact on his lips for freaking ever. I was feeling terrible for snapping at him like that. I could have used a gentler tone. But no, I had to be a brat and talk in a harsh tone.
I opened my mouth to apologize for my behaviour but the sudden downpour had me closing my mouth as both of us started running to get to the car. It was difficult for me to walk through the squishy soil and he was running like a freaking ostrich. I think he noticed that I was lagging behind so he stopped for me to catch up with him. Once I was close enough, he took my hand in his, which was just perfectly warm for my cold one, and we together started jogging towards the car, laughing our asses off. What was so hilarious about the situation? Nothing but the fact that it was freaking raining and that we were soaked up from head to toe.
We were about to cross the gate, but of course, my leg just had to slip and I just had to fall on my butt. And because Ethan was holding my hand he too was jerked back and fell flat on his back with an "oomph" and I again started laughing hysterically. Ethan mockingly glared at me but he too cracked up and we just sat there in the grass-covered soil with rain pouring down on us. We were really laughing hysterically for no particular reason. If that wasn't hysteria, then I don't know what was.
My laughter had ceased after a few moments and I just stared at him as his dark locks matted across his forehead and his face red from all the laughing. His blue eyes, oh God, those were crinkled and were gleaming with life, a stark contrast against the grey, gloomy sky.
He looked so carefree at that moment, so happy and gorgeous that it hurt to look at this boy who at a bare age of twelve had to witness the murder of his brother yet he was the most beautiful person by heart. And of course, his looks were just a cherry on top. He always managed to get on my nerves, yet somehow he still managed to make me happy.
He too stopped laughing when he realised that mine had already ceased. I brushed his hair away from his forehead and he just gazed at me intensely, one that managed to make my heart swell with unknown feeling.
When I had snapped at him previously, there were a lot of questions swarming in my head as to why it was happening. There had begun to develop this unknown feeling whenever I was around him.
And when his lips tugged upwards into a beautiful smile, I realised what it was. Who knew all it would take just a smile from him for me to realise what it was all about.
That day, I realised, I hadn't just slipped and fallen on the ground.
But I was falling for this annoying yet beautiful neighbour of mine.
******
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