Taehyung's P.O.V
My heart was racing, my body sore, and most importantly, my brain went blank. I wasn't overthinking, anxious, worried, or depressed. Jungkook had overwhelmed me.
"You did well..."
It was hard and uncomfortable to walk, I could feel the bruises on my neck and nape, barely had the strength to move, yet I couldn't stop smirking to myself.
I felt desired, free, relieved, and now that I knew Jungkook cared enough to compliment me, I didn't see myself as a desperate loser. Even though he was quite shy at school, obviously, unless somebody did as much as sneeze his friend's way, he had everyone's attention due to his looks and new charisma. Jungkook could have anybody. In a way, a messed up way, my past actions made me win before the competition had even started.
My family was already asleep when arriving home, and I wasn't planning to join in. After showering, I began searching the house, unable to rest until I'd found what I feared to come across.
My palms twitched. Furious, I was staring at a box full of alcoholic drinks: Mother promised she would stop, dropped on her knees in front of our family in shame, swearing she'd do anything to quit after almost hitting Dohyun.
One bottle, then another, I poured each one into the sink with shaking hands, barely having the energy for a steady grip.
"Doh? Wake up, little bro," I said after pushing my brother's room's door open and taking away his blanket.
"Leave me alone!" he cried.
"Keep quiet... Come on, I need to talk to you," I told him, moving towards the light switch, the sound of my footsteps threatening I'd turn it on.
"Wait, don't do that! Alright, I'll tell you what you're here for, but I don't want you to see... I don't want you to see where they hit me." I put the hand away. Dohyun didn't have to expose his wounds, and I didn't have to show mine.
"So these kids beat you up again... Why didn't you tell me immediately? Mom could hear you, what did she do?" I asked.
"Mom? She got drunk, that's what she did. And what would you do?! They're not scared of you anymore, did you really think a few yells would do the job?"
"I'll... I'll find a way to make it stop, and you try focusing on your studies. Do we have a deal?" I turned the opposite direction once the tiny dark figure nodded, desperate to go to bed.
He stopped me. "Hey, Brother..."
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's been months, how come I have no friends?" Painful. These words were painful.
"It's not you, Doh. It's them."
I wished my brother would see me as his powerful guardian. Yet, the very nature of my relationship with Jungkook was contradicting that. Getting caught was not an option, not allowing Dohyun to know, not my parents. They would never understand. No one would, not what I had with him, not that I didn't mind it.
All my clothes lay on the bed as I, aware I couldn't rest otherwise, was searching for ways to cover up Jungkook's marks without appearing suspicious.
Though the secret was stressing me out, I had no other means of escape. Staying at home seemed impossible, work was killing me, and school was adding up to both.
I was visiting Jungkook's house every day during the holidays. Now, he was my bully, only his insults, his beating, and his wrath were let out in bed, the glimpses of kindness becoming fewer and fewer. For as long as his parents were away, it became a part of our daily routine. The break had ended, and I kept returning there after school and work for more, losing myself to his touch repeatedly, rarely at home, growing desensitized to the belittling, perhaps a bit into it.
I grabbed my pants off his floor. "Where are you going?" Jungkook picked me up and threw me back onto the mattress. "We're not done yet."
"If I don't get back soon, my mom—"
I was cut off by my own groan, Jungkook was sucking on my inner thigh. "Are you sure you want to go?" He smirked and watched me shake my head. "You were moaning like a bitch moments ago, grateful I'm willing to touch you, yeah?" he asked. I nodded.
It was almost midnight when I'd returned home. I entered through the front door, closed it behind me, and attempted tiptoeing to my room.
"Well, hello there. Welcome back."
I almost stumbled on my feet in surprise. It was Mom.
Hurriedly, I put my hoodie on. "Why are you awake, don't you have work tomorrow? And why are the lights off, were you trying to ambush me?" I said.
"Let me ask you a better question, why are you creeping into your own house?" I went on to pass through her, and she grabbed the hoodie to push me backward. "Where have you been, Taehyung?"
"Leave me alone, you're going to wake up the little brat," I warned.
"This has nothing to do with your brother. Where the hell have you been?!" I didn't answer. "I haven't seen you here this whole weekend," she continued, "were you at that cursed restaurant? I told you not to spend too much time there, didn't I? It doesn't matter if we're in debt, you can't work at night too!"
"I wasn't at work."
"Don't lie to me!" she shouted.
"I wasn't! I was doing the opposite, getting my mind off of work! I was getting my mind off of you!"
As I ran to my room, she was chasing me. "What do you even mean by that?!" I rushed inside. "Open up the door!" I locked it instead.
"You have no right to ask questions!" I yelled. "Who do you think spilled all your drinks? Learn how to take care of yourself before you take responsibility for your children!"
That night, I only slept for a couple of hours.
When Dohyun was trying to wake me up the next day, my body had a hard time cooperating. I groaned and reached my hand to ruffle his hair. "Good morning..."
Dohyun snapped it away. "I heard you and Mom last night."
"Sorry..."
"Big brother, I have to tell you something..." Still listening, I got up while wrapping myself with the blanket, and began looking for clothes. "When Mother found out someone had touched her drinks, she assumed it was me..."
I turned to him, horrified. "No, Doh, don't tell me she..."
"She slapped me."
My headache had gotten worse, and I was sure I'd throw up. "I'm so sorry, Doh, forgive me..."
"It's not your fault! I shouldn't have told you," he muttered, "I knew you'd blame yourself."
"Of course, it is! If I were there, none of this would have happened," I said.
"But you can't be there for me all the time, I have to grow up, I have to become independent," he continued. "Mother is either drunk or at work, Father's gone—"
"He's not gone!"
"Whatever," Dohyun said, "he can't help me, nobody can."
I put a hand on his shoulder. "I can, and I will," I promised. "I'll try to be at home more often, alright?"
The boy followed me to the kitchen, where I made toasts for both of us, later getting ready together, about to leave each to his school.
"Taehyung!"
I pushed Mom away from me as we came near the door, then dragged my brother further from her reach. "Come, Dohyun, I'll take you."
We were walking side by side in dead silence, passing block after block, moving closer and closer to his junior high. Eventually, the child decided he'd better break it.
"I understand why you're mad, but Mother's worried about you. So am I." I ignored him. "I've seen enough to recognize a bothered person, you and Mom are the same, and both of you worry me."
I let out a mocking laugh. "The same? Do you hear yourself? I didn't hit you."
"But you are about to beat up some other middle schoolers," he said, "that's why you're here with me, you can't hide it."
"Are they the same trio from the beginning of the year?"
My brother shook his head. "It's more than just three now..."
"What do you want me to do to them?" I asked.
He stopped midway and pulled my sleeve to follow suit. While still maintaining his eyes on the ground, Dohyun uttered, "whoever I point at, make them cry."
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