harper
i look at finneas who keeps his eyes on the ground.
i than feel maggie's and claudias eyes.
i'm gonna throw up.
i ran from the side of the stage to the nearest bathroom. instantly throwing up.
i finally gather myself bringing myself out of the bathroom looking at my reflection as i stared in the mirror.
tears started to run down my eyes, i looked absolutely terrible.
my head was pounding and it feels like my heart just got ripped out of my chest.
i can hear copycat faintly play through the walls, hearing the fans voices scream.
billie seemed like, she didn't even, care?
she didn't care.
she didn't even care, that was the worst part.
i know she has been texting me, i just wasn't going to tell her the truth to what was going on because the last thing i wanted was for her to worry.
this is her first tour ever, and all i wanted was for her to have a good time.
and now she's going to assume i cheated? without even knowing for sure? and now the media is going to think i'm a terrible person.
everyone will believe billie.
why the fuck does this have to happen to me?
first i lose my family as they fall apart.
than i lose someone who i was in love with.
i didn't even get to tell her.
i don't know what to do, here i am, sitting in the bathroom at this venue, staring at my reflection in the mirror while crying my eyes out.
"harper?" i hear a voice say knocking on the door.
i quickly gather myself, wiping my tears off my face.
i open the door to see claudia standing there.
"sorry" i say walking past her.
she grabs my wrist, not letting me leave.
"why did you do it?" she than asks turning me so i'm facing her.
i could hear billie saying her goodbyes to the fans.
"i-i didn't claudia. i didn't cheat. i-i love her claudia" i say starting to sob again.
"but you left with kailtyn?" she asks.
so billie thinks i cheated on her with kaitlyn?
"billie saw her whisper in your ear. than she took you by the hand into some hallway before you guys left the party together early" she says.
"i-i had an emergency. my d-dad was in the hospital and k-kailtyn was the one who told me and helped me." i say sobbing again.
"oh, shit." is all she said pulling me into a hug. "i'm so sorry"
"how could b-billie do this? she didn't even ask me about it" i say crying into claudias chest.
"she didn't know, she just assumed the worst" claudia said rubbing my back.
"i'm in love with her claudia. now everyone hates me including billie. i need to go home" i say not wanting to be here.
"no, you need to talk to billie." she says letting go of the hug.
i nod as she grabs my hand dragging me out of the bathroom.
"what if she doesn't believe me?" i ask worried that billie won't even care.
"she will" is all she replies with.
i have a feeling she won't though.
she drags me into the greenroom where billies parents, finneas, andrew, a couple people of billies team were sitting.
the room goes completely silent as they all look up to me. my eyes locked on billies.
i felt like i was going to throw up again.
"oh, hey" billie says breaking the tension in the room.
she was sweaty and busy chugging down the water bottle as the show ended literally seconds ago.
i look at my feet trying to keep myself together, and not letting myself break down.
"i uh, didn't know you were here" she says again.
claudia waved her hand, motioning everyone in the room to leave. her mom shot me a disappointed glance before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
it was just billie sitting on the couch and me standing in front of her.
i felt like i couldn't breathe.
"why did you do it harper?" she asks lowly. not mad.
"i-i didn't" i stutter.
"bullshit. don't even try that shit on me" she says quickly.
i knew this would happen.
she has such a short temper, from the first time i met her she never hears anyone out which at first was one of the things i admired about her. i admired how passionate she was in what she believed in.
"i saw your ass leave the party early with kaitlyn, and than you don't answer my text for two days?" she says laughing. "and you and kaitlyn used to be fuck buddies?" she says as she continues laughing.
"you are something fucking else harper. i should have fucking known. why do i always fall for people who just hurt me" she says not letting me talk.
"billie listen" i begin to say before getting cut off.
"no harper, i don't wanna listen to your bullshit. fuck you. go home. i have a tour to finish" she says her voice now raised as she gets up from her seat.
she reaches for the door as i grab her wrist.
"get the fuck off of me" she says as i tighten my grip.
"billie listen to me. i didn't fucking cheat? can you maybe let me explain? maybe ask me before announcing to the whole world that i cheated without even talking to me?" i say as her eyes move from my hand to my eyes.
she looks at me blankly waiting for me to say something else.
"my dad almost fucking overdosed and had an emergency. i had to take him to the hospital. kaitlyn was the one who told me. she is the only one who knows that my dad abuses." i say quickly. her face holding the same expression. "and my mom found out and came home. we got into an argument and she is divorcing him and threatened to take me and mac to north carolina. and that i would have to go to college. i booked a flight, sold my car, and flew here leaving my family, friends, school, everything behind to go on tour with you" i say as her eyes move from mine to the floor. "because i needed you"
there was silence between us.
i could read her face which i hated.
"why didn't you tell me?" she asks lowly, avoiding all eye contact with me.
"becuase i didn't want you to worry about me billie. it's your first tour and i wanted you to enjoy it." i say honestly.
somehow i'm not crying. i think there was to much anger within me to be sad. i cried all the tears i had in the bathroom and to claudia.
"i-im sorry" she says staring at the floor.
"look at me billie"
her eyes move from the floor to my eyes.
i loosen my grip from her wrist, forgetting i was even holding it.
"i love you billie. i love you so much. i would never and i mean ever do that to you. i cant afford to lose you. i left my family behind and everything i had at home for you. i'd much rather watch you do a show instead of fucking getting my diploma. billie i love you" i say.
"i love you too. i'm so sorry" she says, her eyes filled with what was anger now sadness. "i'm so stupid, i'm sorry" she says again.
"it's fine. don't be sorry. i'm here now. i'm not leaving, don't be sorry okay? it's in the past" i say grabbing her hands.
she nods before i wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug which she gladly accepted.
"i love you" she says into my neck. "know that"
she pulls away from the hug, her eyes glancing at my lips. knowing what she wants i connect my lips to hers as she smiles into the kiss.
"and id be lying hella if i said i didn't miss that" she says with a goofy grin on her face.
"now come on, i have a meet and greet to start" she says grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the green room.
we walk towards where the meet and greet line starts where maggie, patrick, finneas, claudia, and some other people from billies team were standing.
they all looked confused as shit execpt claudia.
"ok uh, so, harper didn't actually cheat, i just thought she did" billie says shrugging it off like it was nothing.
maggie and patrick both just sighed and shook their heads making me laugh a little.
"you are a real dumbass you know that?" finneass says making claudia laugh.
"yeah i know. now come on we have a meet and greet to start" she says walking into the room where are the fans were lined up.
they all scream as they watch her walk out bringing a smile to my face.
billie looks back at me motioning me to come in the room with her but i really had no desire to do so. especially when all those fans were told i cheated on their idol.
"for god sake harper" billie says grabbing my hand and yanking me into the room with her.
i flash a smile at the fans who all have a confused look on their face some filled with disgust.
"LISTEN UP!" billie shouts so everyone including the back of the line could hear.
"HARPER DIDNT CHEAT IM JUST A DUMB ASS BITCH WHO HAS TRUST ISSUES!" she yells again causing everyone to laugh.
billie than grabs my face quickly not giving me much time to react and presses her lips quickly against mine, again, causing the fans to freak out.
"okay let's get this started" she says with a smile.
~
we are now back in the tour bus heading towards the next city. the bus was actually a lot bigger than i thought it would be and had a lot of room to move around.
we were taking two busses, one had billies crew and team, and one had me, billie, claudia, finneas and andrew.
maggie was staying in this bus but insisted she went to the other so i could sleep in this one.
i was now just sitting on billies bunk eating takis while we watched the office together.
"this is the worst episode" i groan seeing which episode was on next.
"you are wrong but ok" is all billie says reaching into the bag of takis to grab more.
"the hell? i was watching that" billie complains as i turn off the computer.
"andddd now your not" i say with a grin.
"did you really sell your car?" billie than asks out of nowhere.
"uh, yeah" is all i reply with.
"why?"
"because i needed the money. my mom was going to cancel my debit card as soon as she found out i left and was not going to help me out at all. and my dad, he needs the money for himself. plus if my mom does go through with a divorce he's going to lose half of it" i say sighing at the thought. "i really hope she doesn't"
billie pulls me close to her tightly as i wrap my arms around her.
"i'm sorry. it's going to all be okay. i'm with you now. is your dad ok?" she asks genuinely sounding concerned.
"yeah he's okay." i say back.
"i wish you told me about his, uh, problem earlier" she says as i look up at her to meet her eyes.
"i know, i just didn't want you to think of me differently or anything" i say honestly. "and i didn't want you to worry"
"harper, i want you to be comfortable around me. literally nothing can make me think differently of you okay? i want you to be able to trust me" she says as i nod.
"i do" i say honestly.
"good. have you talked to your parents at all since you landed?" she asks as i shake my head no.
"i only told mac. he might have told my mom but she hasn't said anything to me so" i said.
and of course i told kaitlyn but i figured it was best maybe not to bring her up.
"maybe you should call her? or your dad?" she suggests as i check my phone.
the phone read 4:00 am which meant it was 1:00 am back home. explains why i'm not that tired.
"i will tomorrow. pretty late back home" i say as she nods.
"has the time changes been fucking with you?" i ask her.
"honestly, not really. i take a lot of naps when i don't have press and shit" she says.
"let's try and get some sleep though baby" she says pulling me even closer to her neck.
the bunk was definitely not made for two people to sleep in but somehow we made it work.
"i like when you call me baby" i say snuggling into her chest.
"i like when you moan my name in bed" she says as i hit her chest lightly.
sometimes i think the old billie is gone and i have officially made her soft.
but she manages to surprise me everytime.
"like you will be tomorrow night. hotel night" she says placing a light kiss on my forehead as i just shake my head.
"i'm tired as shit though, so let's sleep" i nod as i get up from billies grip getting ready to leave her bunk before she grabbed onto my wrist.
"what are you doing?" she asks giving me a confused look.
"uh, going to my bunk?" i say.
"you are sleeping with me" she says pulling my arm so i'm snuggled back into her.
"i'm going to wake up on the floor" i groan.
"you'll be good mamas" she says wrapping her arm around my waist. "i loveee you"
"love you too. dumbass"
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a/n- 3k reads thx u🥺