The rest of the night consists of talking, kissing and falling asleep in Luke's arms. I wouldn't have wanted to spend my Saturday night any other way. Even though we talk a lot, I still don't find out much about him. He is so guarded and I wonder what I will have to do in order to break down his walls. I don't share much about my past either, I don't really like talking to anyone about it. Maybe someday Luke and I can share these past memories with each other.
When I wake up the next morning he is gone and I am left alone again. I don't know why he never stays until morning nor do I know when he actually leaves. All I know is that each morning I reach for him and find nothing. I turn to look at my clock and see that it is only 9:30. I hate Sundays and I don't have anything better to do, so I decide to go back to sleep for a little bit.
I sleep in until almost 1 and figure I should probably get up. I spend the rest of my day doing homework. I don't see my mother at all until she calls me down for dinner. I grab my plate and take it back to my room to eat, not wanting to be around her at all. Until she apologizes for the things she said about Luke, this is how it will be.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't speak to or even look at her on the way to school. Bradley says bye but I don't as we get out of the car. Calum is not waiting for me in our usual spot today and I walk inside alone. A small smile appears on my lips as I see Luke standing at my locker. I love Calum, but I would much rather see Luke waiting for me.
"Good morning," I say to him as I begin to put in the combination for my locker.
"Morning," he says, not looking at me. He is leaning against the locker next to mine and looking straight ahead at the people passing behind me.
"What's wrong?" I ask at his seemingly annoyed voice.
"Nothing," he plainly says, still keeping his eyes away from mine.
"Obviously something, why can't you tell me?" I ask once more.
His head jerks to look at me, his eyes angry. "Why can't you just stop asking me a thousand questions? I said nothing was wrong so don't worry about it," he says with a harsh tone.
I stand there with a puzzled look. What the hell has gotten into him?
"I'll see you later," he says and walks away before I can say anything. I am speechless. Why is he acting like this after we just had a great night? I mean at least I did, and I thought that he did too. I walk alone to my class and am in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
By the time that lunch comes around, I dread going. I don't want to face grumpy Luke again and make this day worse. Linley and Michael ask me about a million times what's wrong with me, but I just shake it off and tell them nothing. Lin can sense that I'm lying as she gives me dirty looks each time I deny their accusations of me being upset.
My stomach drops at the sight of Luke as it always does. He is laughing as he walks with Ashton and Calum to our table. Maybe he is in a better mood, I hope. He sits down with the others and doesn't look at me at all. Lunch goes by too fast and Luke has not said one word to me. I feel very offended and don't talk to anyone. I'm going to find out what is wrong with him.
When the bell rings, he darts out of the lunch room and I run to catch up with him.
"What is your problem?" I demand as I reach him in the hallway.
"What are you talking about?" He snaps back.
"You didn't talk to me at all during lunch...I don't know if I did something or wh-"
"I already told you earlier that nothing was wrong, what do you not understand about that? It's not like we have to talk all of the time," he is almost yelling and I can sense his annoyance with me in his voice.
I am hurt by his words. He basically just said that he didn't want to talk to me and that he hasn't wanted to all day obviously, since I haven't seen him at all.
"Hey," I hear a girl's voice and see a black-haired girl smile and wave at him.
"What's up," he smiles back as we pass her.
Jealously stings me right in the heart and I immediately walk away from him, hiding the tears that I know are about to come. I run to my next class and ask if I can go to the restroom real quick before class starts, holding back the tears as much as I can.
When I get into the bathroom and close the door to my stall, I let them fall. A few come out and I honestly feel pathetic for crying. Luke and I aren't even dating and I am upset over him. I shouldn't be jealous of other girls, but I am. Maybe I was right, he probably is just messing around with me. He made me feel like I was different from the other girls, the way he looked and talked to me; but that was probably how he acted with every girl. How could I be so stupid? I knew that getting involved with Luke would be a bad idea but I did it anyways and now I am in the bathroom crying.
When I pull myself together, I make my way back to class. When I sit down in the desk next to Ashton, he gives me a concerned look. I'm sure he can tell that I was crying, it is probably obvious to everyone. I shake my head at him and mouth that I am fine. He gives me a small smile and turns back to listen as our teacher tells us about our upcoming test on Friday.
When school lets out, Linley drives us home as usual. She can tell that I am not my usual, talkative self and constantly tells me to talk to her about whatever is bothering me. I tell her that I'll call her at some point later as I get out of the car and she looks as content with my answer as she can be.
I spend the whole night studying for my math and physics tests that are both on Friday, of course. The only time I stop is to get my dinner and bring it back in here. Even though I am very upset with Luke, I'm still mad at my mom too. I actually don't know why I am since Luke has now hurt me. He didn't even call after me or try to find me at any other point during the day to see why I ran away from him. He obviously doesn't care about me after all. I try to focus on my schoolwork, but he still consumes most of my mind.
After hours on end of studying, I am starting to get tired. I look at the clock which now reads 12:05 and am surprised at how late it is. I close my books and walk over to my dresser to get pajamas. After I have pulled on my favorite flannel pants, I hear my balcony door open.
I jerk my head to see Luke quietly closing the door. I must have forgotten to lock the door this morning before I went to school.
"What the hell are you doing?" I snap.
"Visiting you, I know it's a school night but I thought maybe I could stay with you tonight," he says sweetly and I am frozen, my mind filled with confusion.
"Why do you think that you can just barge in here after you were a complete asshole to me today?" I say as I walk over to my bedroom door and lock it. Luckily my mother has already come to say good night, but I just want to be safe.
"I wasn't being an asshole, I told you that we don't have to talk every 5 seconds," he snaps back and the anger has returned to his eyes.
"Oh, but you can talk to other girls in the hallway as we walk together," I say even though I know this is only adding fuel to the fire.
He laughs. "Are you jealous? You shouldn't be, it's not like we're a couple." His words sting and sadness replaces the anger I feel in my chest.
"Then why are you here," I say as more of a statement than a question.
"Because I wanted to see you," he says back. No anger in his voice. Nothing is in his voice.
"Why? You just said we're not anything so I don't understand why you keep sneaking in," I snap back.
"You know what, I'm just gonna go," he says as he makes his way to the balcony.
"Good, leave. That's all you're good at doing. Oh besides making me feel like I'm different from the other girls you fuck around with," I say, not caring how harsh my words are.
He stops and turns to stare at me. We are standing on my balcony and the wind has picked up and is blowing through his perfectly quiffed hair. He says nothing to me, but I can see a hint of hurt in his eyes. Why is he hurt? He is the one who caused this mess. He looks as if he is going to say something, but no words come out. A clash of thunder rolls throughout the night sky, startling me but not affecting Luke. He looks up at the sky and back down to me before turning and climbing back down the front of my house.
I stand there alone and start to feel the rain come down. I can't tell the difference between my tears and the droplets on my face as I watch him run down the street, disappearing into the darkness. I run inside and fall onto my bed.
Eventually I drift off to sleep with a wet face and thoughts of the boy that everyone warns you about.