Y/n was sitting with Harley on the couch , watching TV , while Poison Ivy was making coffee
" Ivy no rush , but Howie mandle is Only showing how to make Thanksgiving leftovers into a nativity scene " Harley called to The redhead
" Oh my God , wait what ? " Ivy asked before rushing to the couch before handing Harley and Y/n the drink
As Howie was explaining what he was doing he " But first , let me introduce my surprise co host , you know him as the clown Prince of Crime , let's give it for the Joker ! "
Joker laughed before appearing on camera
" Shit ! " Harley exclaimed
" Get ready America , Howie's got something he's dying to tell you " Joker said , revealing a bomb attached to Howie
" Oh , no , no , no , no , Not Howie " Frank said
" You know what's stupid ? , Me for playfully implying that on yesterday's show that the couple formly know as joquinn , is no more "
Harley growled while listening to this , Y/n didn't like it ethier
" Thanks Howie , when I dumped poor sad watchin"
" She's right over here ! " Frank said , pointing at Harley
" Frank " ivy warned the plant
" I promised I would respect her wishes to drift into the darkness of totally anonymity , and for the record , our couple name was , joker " The clown Prince of Crime laughed
" Oh that liar trying to blow up the cleanest nicest talk show hosts on television ?" Harley asked , standing up
Ivy and Y/n stood up as well , " Just ignore him , he's beating you , not worth getting angry over " ivy said , trying to calm Harley down
" Yeah Harley , it's not worth it " Y/n said , putting a hand on her shoulder , which she brushed off , even though he was getting a little angry himself , how dare the joker insult his Harley ? His ? Where did that come from ? Y/n shook his head
" Sorry but that's all the time we have today Howie , and speaking of time , yours is running out " joker said , revealing a bomb and activating it
Howie starting running around , " I need a very nude porno girl " , he yelled ( a/n , I can't understand what he said , my bed if I guessed wrong )
Harley smashed the tv
" Jesus , harls , this is why I don't put the tv out " Ivy explained
" Good tv ? , Where you hiding that bad boy ?" Frank asked
" Yeah ivy , where is it ? " Y/n asked
Ivy glared at him , before turning her attention back to Harley
" If he thinks I'm just going to fade away into obscurity , he doesn't know what's coming " Harley said
" Who cares ? , Your doing great , you got a killer new outfit , you Started meditating " ivy said
" No I haven't started meditating I just downloaded the app " Harley corrected ivy
" That's the first step , your a strong independent woman who doesn't care what other people think "
" Right ?! , Who cares what joker and his stupid legion of doom buddy's think " Harley said confidentially
" Preach ! " Frank said
" Hell , I'll show them in person how little I care " Harley said , pulling out her phone , typing something
" What no , what are you doing ? " Ivy asked
"Logging into joker's calendar " Harley explained
" Oh God where off the rails " ivy said , waking towards the clown girl
Y/n walked over while saying , " I agree "
" No , let it play out " Frank protested
" Oh wait , there is a party at the Gotham mint with legion of doom guys tommorow , if he wants to fuck with me in public I will fuck Right back ! " Harley said , raising her bat
"Oh boy " Y/n said , he hated party's . He was a introvert , so he didn't have many friends until Harley and ivy , and he considered them to be his best friends
" Please do not do this " ivy said
" I agree with you ivy " Y/n said
" Please do this shit "
" I'm just gonna show those guys that how awesome I'm doing now , it'll be so fun ! , And you can meet a hot guy and use your love potion " Harley said , sounding excited
" This isn't a love potion , it's a distilled pheromones , it makes men infauted with me And then kills them by turning them into plants " The red head explained
" Right a love potion " both Harley and Frank said at the same time
" Please come with me please " The clown girl begged
" No " ivy said
" Don't even think about it " Y/n warned , holding up his hand
Harley smirked , " aw come on Y/n please ? , You can't say no to me "
" This time I can Harley " Y/n said , giving her a ' No way ' look
" Do it , Do it , do it , do it , do it " Harley and Frank Started chanting
" Stop , Frank shut up " Ivy warned
" Stop saying do it , fine " ivy gave up
Poison Ivy's phone went off , Harley picked it up
" Oh shit , Howie exploded " Harley said
" No ! " Both Frank and the redhead exclaimed
" Joker , you son of a bitch " Harley said angrily , before smashing The phone with her bat , while Poison Ivy was upset that Harley Destroyed her phone
Harley , ivy and Y/n arrived at the mint
Harley had glasses , a scarf, and a tiger
The tiger growled , so did Harley , Y/n shook his head
She picked up a bottle , drank it , then removed her glasses , only to reveal that the party they crashed was a penguins nephew's birthday party , however the some members of the legion of doom where there , including bane , Scarecrow And two face
Harley removed everything , giving the tiger to a guy
Ivy walked up to her and asked , " did you know this party was for children ?
" I do now , although technically one boy becomes a man today " Harley replied
Y/n rolled his eyes , ' I regret this decision ' he thought
Penguin walked up , " Are one of the dancer's for my nephew's bar mitzvah ? " He asked before realizing who he was talking to , " Jesus , Harley , haha , Rock bottom came fast since joker dumped ya "
" Um , she dumped him , And you smell like shrimp shit , excuse us " ivy told him , Y/n Snickered before following
" We should leave " Ivy said to Harley , Y/n nodded , " I didn't want to come here "
" No , no, no , all of the legion of doom bigwigs are here , I can show them how great I am and I am gonna " Harley said
" This isn't your coming out party , this is a thirteen year old boys party " ivy tried telling her
" Look , a lot of people have made a name for themselves , bane , he decided to blow up Gotham stadium during trivia night " Harley explained
" Fine , just go don't leave me alone , or some d _ list villian will hit on me or ask do to a heist with me , the Longer we wait , the longer we wait , okay she's gone "
" Kite Man " a guy in a green outfit whispered
" Woah what was that ? , Woah haha , did I just hear the wind say kite man ? " He asked , activating his kite , knocking two kids over
" I think your alone " ivy told him
" Hell yeah ! " He exclaimed , pumping his fist into the air
Y/n rolled his eyes , this idiot better not try and flirt with Poison Ivy , little did he know
( Time skip after joker leaned Harley was at the Gotham mint )
Harley walked up to bane , scarecrow and two face , " uh oh , who are these trouble makers ? , No I'm kidding I know it's you , scarecrow , two face , other half of two face , Bane " Harley said , mocking the last part
Scarecrow and two face laughed
" I'm going to blow up this bar mitzvah ' bane pouted like a child
" Quinn, great to see ya , where have you been ? " Two face asked
" On your left where you can't see shit " She replied
All three of them laughed
" So , guess who finally got a plan to get rid of Batman , your girl " Quinn explained , but joker walked up behind her
" Guess who is trying to run , before she can crawl " joker asked
The others laughed nervously
" Jesus " joker said in disbelief
" Glad your here J man , pull up a chair doesn't bother me , doesn't bother me , who's going to be fun or is going chicken ? "
" Your going somewhere else , this is the legion of doom table , why don't you find the crazy bitch table " joker told her
" Spoilers ,it's just a real table " Bane said
" That was IMPLIED " joker yelled
" Who wants to ditch this jester and tear up Gotham with me ? " Harley tried convincing them
" Haha , come on laugh , laugh with me " joker said to the legion of doom members
They laughed
" You know what ? , Who Needs ya anyway ? , This table is far from the dance floor anyway " she said before dancing away
She sat at a different table , only for it to be Joshua's friends
" Can you believe those assholes? , You know what ? , Doesn't matter , I'll sit with you guys " Harley told them
" Uh no, this is the Joshua's best friends table "
" Unless , your the girl Joshua finger banged at camp ? " A kid with glasses asked
" If I said yes , would you let me sit here ? " Harley asked
" Trick question , Joshua has never finger banged anyone ah " a kid said before high fiveing his buddy
" So , ivy , ivy , Bo , ivy " Kite Man said , " let me ask you a personal question , have you ever seen Gotham central park "
Ivy was looking at her phone , before interrupting him and asked " from the sky ? "
" From the sky , yeah you get it " kite man Said following her
Y/n followed Them , he didn't like this guy one bit
" I was thinking you and I should do a heist together " kite man Said , trying to convince her
" Uh , you know what ? I'm kinda worn out from doing all the heist stuff , It's just kinda hard being a weak woman and what not "
Kite Man ran in front of her , pushing y/n out of the way , y/n scowled , clearly starting to get jealous
" I'll do all the heavy lifting so you don't have to break a nail , it'll be a breeze , breeze " Kite man explained
" Yep " Poison Ivy said , putting a hand on her head
" This is because my powers are wind based "
" Hey buddy , you don't have any powers " Y/n tried telling him , but he didn't listen
" You don't have any powers , you just have a kite like every kid across the world , and she doesn't want to take a heist with you cause your stupid ! " Harley yelled at him , before she and Y/n walked away
" Do you think I'm stupid ? " Kite man asked
" I mean , don't you ? " Ivy shot back. Before walking away
" These assholes always trying to pretend to friends but there really , just , ASSHOLES " Harley shouted
Joker looked up and winked at them
Y/n flipped him off
" They think ,I'm in the there league , but they don't know shit ! " Harley said , smashing the table , somebody the parents and kids left behind them
Mrs Cobblepot came up to them , " Hey girl's and guy , so glad you could come , I know where all evil here , but maybe try putting some sugar on that salty language , you know , kids "
" Sorry Mrs Cobblepot " Harley said
" Yeah , never again sorry " ivy replied
" Dude , we gotta get the fuck outta here " The redhead told Harley
" Hell no , I'm not giving up I'll show these legion guys I can do something not even they can " Harley explained , " What's one thing in this room one of them never had the balls to try ? "
" The fruittella ? " Ivy asked
" Even worse , I'm going to rob the Gotham mint " Harley told ivy and Y/n
Harley , Poison Ivy and Y/n where at a food table , two guys walked up
" No cuts " one of them said , before ivy tossed them with a plant
" Stop let's get real for a second , the Gotham mint is inpenetrable , there do confident , they rented the atrium out to the legion of doom " Ivy explained to Harley
" Look I'm doing this thing , alright ? "
" What If Batman shows up ? "
" I'll kill him "
" Where's the getaway car ? "
" I'll steal one "
" Where will you put the money ? "
" Look around , every kid is wearing a backpack , god , look ivy , all the you said It can't work are all the reasons I gotta do it , they may not like me but they will respect the shit out of me " Harley explained to Poison Ivy and Y/ n
" I'm starting to regret not bringing my armor , at least I brought my gun " Y/n grumbled
" All right fine , go , just go steal the money , just do me one favor before , don't leave me alone here I oh ...... " ivy looked down only to see a kid , who looked like he was under a spell
" I really should quite but I just can't " the kid said , drinking something
" Go away fragile child " Ivy told him , before walking away
" Hey , how about we ditch this place and go sneak into a pg 13 movie "
" My love potion ? " Ivy asked
" I stole your juice , and gave it to these kids , hell yeah ! " Kite man explained
"Your a idiot " Ivy said , waking up to him while pushing the kids out of the way
" Ooh , you mispronounced genius " kite Man said
" No , that potion makes fall in love with me and then kills them " The redhead explained
" What ? "
" Yes , what did you think you kite fucking freak , my name is POISON , ivy " She told kite man
" Damn , see this is why I stick to the kites , so simple "
Y/m rolled his eyes
( Time skip after Harley beats up the guards )
Poison ivy and y/n where holding on to kite man's kite as he flew to her apparement
"Sometimes I just fly to have a quite place to think , just really let my thoughts run wild " Kite man said to ivy and y/n
" Thoughts , pluar ? " Poison ivy asked
" What a idiot " Y/n said , hopefully ivy wasn't falling for this idiot , little did he know
( At Ivy's apparement )
" Alright I'll get the antidote , just you know don't like touch anything " Ivy explained
Y/n followed her
After she found what she looking for she said , " All right , let's boggie , kite man ? " Poison ivy asked , but he was no where to be found
" Oh no " She said , as ivy had found that kite man had taken his clothes off , which lead to a bedroom
Y/n clenched his fist , why was His friend tolerating him ?
They opened the door to find kite man on the bed , naked .
" Kite man , hell yeah ! " He exclaimed
" What are you doing ? " Ivy asked
" Getting ready to have sex " Kite man replied
Y/n couldn't believe this , he grumbled " Now I wanna kill him "
Ivy heard and punched him in the shoulder
" Why ? ! " She asked in disbelief , Y/n silently agreed
" Because after a great date , you usually have sex " he explained
Frank laughed , " Sorry , Sorry ,I was going to say something , but I wanted to see how all of this played out "
" Oh shut up Frank " ivy said
" Ooh " the plant replied
" I'm gonna need you to put your clothes back on because this is not a date " Poison Ivy explained
Kite man pulled the blanket over himself , " I'm sorry if this wasn't a date , why did they bring me back to your place ? "
" Idiot " Y/n said , getting annoyed
" For the antidote " ivy said , getting frustrated
" Oh , I thought they was just a line "
" Why would I use a line on you ? " Ivy asked
" I don't know , I mean why would you even have me come ? , I mean a cab would have been easier , you know , I know it , we all know it "
" Jesus , get dressed " Poison Ivy told him
( Time skip after Harley tries to confuse Joshua )
Poison ivy , Y/n and kite man where returning to the bar mitzvah
" So um , I hope taking off my clothes didn't come across as " kite man began
" Creepy ? , It did "
" It didn't "
" No I apologise , it's just I've never been alone with a woman of your caliber , your eyes , your smile , your sillkey "
" Oh God , you know what ? "
" Strong woman , osily , the , I'm gonna be quite for a while "
There was Silence for a few minutes
" You know , it is kinda cool seeing the park from the sky , I mean when your not talking , and where just soaring majestically , your not so bad " ivy told him
" Hell yeah " kite man said
Y/n REALLY didn't like this guy , why was one of his best friends being nice to him ?
' No , If she falls in love , I'll be happy for her , at least I have Harley ' He Thought , Y/n would try and be happy if Poison Ivy fell in love with kite man
The flew over The bar mitzvah , where it looked like something had gone wrong
" Ah shit , something Is going on down there " Ivy said , Y/n nodded
" Quinn , what happened ? " He wondered out loud
( After Y/n , Poison Ivy and kite man rescued Harley and fought the legion of doom , they all returned to the apparement )
" So , do you realize you don't have to prove to anyone how awesome you are ? " Ivy asked Harley
" Yes , except for the legion of Doom , I need to get in into the legion of doom " Harley said
" What ? , After all that ? , Why would you want to be a part of that club those guys are such dicks ! " Poison ivy said .
" I agree " Y/n said , nodding his head
" No not all of em , when we where leaving bane said ' You go girl ' Harley told ivy
" No he distinctly said , ' ooh gogurt ' " Ivy corrected Quinn
" Ah what they had gogurt ? , Ah man , ivy listen , any one who is a respected super villian is In the legion of doom , that's how you know you've made it , if joker can get in , so can I , so THAT'S what I'm gonna do " Harley explained to Ivy and Y/n
Y/n replied , " Harley , I love you , but your crazy "
Harley rolled her eyes
" What you need to do is 13 year old boys out of this apparement , there starting to take root " Frank said
" Oh " Poison Ivy said
" Ok boys , so I got the antidote to turn you back into humans , ok ? , But the only effective way of doing it is when my Silvia , interacts , with uh , my Silvia " Ivy explained , trying to avoid saying kiss
" So , is this a kiss ? " A boy asked
" No , it's not a kiss , it is , it is antidote delivery system , nothing more , you'll still be sexless nerds by the time night is over ok ? "
Y/n Snickered
After she returned them to Normal by kissing them. A kid who had obviously
" Yeah , I missed you all ready Buddy " Ivy said
" I'm still a little bit treeded " the kid tried , but didn't work
" Ah fuck off kid " The redhead told the kid
" Yeah fuck off " Harley agreed
Y/n Started laughing , but calmed down and said seriously , " I agree , get the fuck out " , he really didn't like kids
( A/n : phew , finally done , anybody who wants to join my Harley Quinn 2019 role play , feel free )