Hannam The Hills, Seoul
10:00PM
Roseanne's POV.
After Taejoon left I decided to try and get some work done. He left about two hours ago and I was still staring at a blank page of a Microsoft office word document trying to think of something to put on the page. If I could just think of the first sentence I knew more would come to me. But I couldn't think of anything, apart from Lisa and the realization that I may never see her again.
I took sip of the coffee that I brewed with my Keurig single-cup coffeemaker, as I continued to stare at the blank page.
I covered my ears with my Beats headphones. Then I shuffled through my playlist on my computer hoping to find inspiration with good music. I was spinning in my chair humming the words to Beyoncé trying to deflect my thoughts from affairs and Lisa and marriage.
What's so wrong with extramarital affairs anyway?
The fact that I just asked myself that question only proved how addicted I already was. If I thought hard and long enough I could almost smell her. I could almost hear her deep voice calling my name. I could almost feel the weight of her body. I could almost feel her carved muscles beneath my fingertips. I could almost taste her on my tongue. Almost. But almost wasn't good enough. Almost wouldn't give me the satisfaction I needed. Almost wouldn't bring her to me.
Or would it?
I could feel the sensation of a spider crawling up my spine. I could feel her presence, and when I opened my eyes there she was. The familiarity of her stature, her smell, her mannerism hit me like a ton of bricks. I registered her facial features that were chiseled like Adonis. She was dressed in snug jeans, a navy blue polo, and a blazer. The sight of her in my apartment stopped me cold.
I shoved off my headphones and glared at her without speaking. I didn't yet believe that she was actually in my apartment. I distinctly remembered locking my front door after Taejoon left. How could she have gotten into my apartment if I hadn't opened the door for her?
Maybe I was so whipped that I was actually fantasizing her in my apartment.
"It's good to know that you're in a good mood," she said. She obviously saw me humming and spinning in my chair.
Despite her attempt to remain unaffected, the rage burning in her eyes as she spoke was a dead giveaway. "I, on the other hand, have been enraged since about nine o'clock last night. When I got a text message that shocked the fuck out of me."
She pulled out a chair on the opposite side of my desk and sat down resting one leg on top of the other.
"What do you mean you don't think we should see each other anymore?" She rasped.
Oh, my god.
She was actually in my apartment. This wasn't a figment of my imagination.
What the fuck?
"How'd you get in my house?" I asked astonished by how curtly the words fell from my mouth.
"When you didn't answer after I banged on your door for over ten minutes, I found your spare key."
I got angry. "What if I wasn't home? What if Tae took the day off? What would you have done then?"
She had no right breaking into my house just because I didn't answer the door. Where does this woman get the fucking nerve?
"Frankly, I don't give a fuck if he were here or not. You put yourself in that position when you thought you could send me a text message to shoo me away."
I hated that she always found a way to have the upper hand. I wasn't much at fault here, she was. She knew that I was married from the beginning. She knew that I could end this affair whenever I chose to and yet she pursued me.
"What if my other boyfriend was here?" I asked her sitting like a boss in my chair.
That caught her attention.
She narrowed her eyes at me. "The only person you're fucking is me." She was so sure of herself that I had to stop myself from smiling.
"Are you sure about that? You see me once a day if you're lucky. What do you think I'm doing the rest of the day? Knitting socks?" Her teeth clenched as her fingers groped the arm of her chair.
"You and Taejoon aren't enough for me anymore." I remarked coldly trying my best to get reaction from her.
Deep down, Lisa knew that I wasn't sleeping with a third person. Two people was already too much for me. I was struggling to get rid of the second even though I didn't want to. I kind of missed Lisa.
Okay. I missed her a lot.
She stood up quickly pressing her hands into my desk. Her eyes were blazing hot. The veins in her neck were bulging in livid ridges. I'd never seen her so angry. Oddly, I found it arousing knowing that she gave a little bit of a shit about someone other than herself.
"I thought you didn't get jealous?" I mocked her.
"I'm not jealous," she lied unsuccessfully.
I raised my eyebrow. "We both know that's a lie. As a matter of fact, you get jealous a lot when you're around me." I started to count off the few events that she showcased her jealousy. "In the elevator, back at the hotel, at the gym, and right now."
She shut her eyes before she asked, "When was the last time you fucked him?"
"You mean when was the last time I made love to my husband." I held my finger against my chin pretending to ponder her question. "If my memory serves me correctly, I'd say a couple of hours ago."
"You've been fucking the both of us?" Her jaw muscles flexed furiously underneath her skin.
"I don't understand why that matters since you don't get jealous."
She was breathing harshly now shutting her eyes to calm himself. "I didn't get jealous!" she blurted out. "Before you, I didn't get jealous. Now, jealousy is all I feel, apart from anger. I never had been more jealous or angry in my life than I am right now. I'm angry because I can't fuck anyone else if I wanted to Roseanne and believe me I've tried. But every GODDAMN time I'm reminded of you. I'm reminded of your teeth against my skin or I hear your voice breathing my name or I'm reminded of the sweet smell of your arousal and I can't fucking concentrate because I so desperately want it to be you beneath me instead of some whore I invited back to my place because she had the same color eyes and hair as you. And jealous because I wish for one second that it was me lying in bed next to you not him."
Wow.
My chest was rising and falling viciously. I could feel her words pulsing through my veins.
It actually felt good to hear that from her.
"I'm truly sorry for all the back and forth and my contradicting words and actions but I can't do this anymore. It's exhausting. Making up lies, dodging questions, and sneaking around it's exhausting. When I'm not with you I feel shitty, and guilty."
"I'm not ready to give you up," she said simply trying to gauge my reaction by staring into my eyes.
"You'll have to eventually. Let's just bite the bullet and end this now."
"I'm not ready to give you up," she repeated kneeling in front of me.
I let my head fall back against my chair trying to think without being caught off guard by her sex appeal, "What are you asking?"
"Come back to my apartment. We need to talk."
"No," I said firmly. "It'll be best if we talked in public."
"Are you afraid of the temptation of being alone with me?"
I shrugged. "Maybe."
She smiled.
Lisa turned and made her way out of my office. I stood and followed.
She strolled across the apartment with a look on her face that I couldn't place. "You mind if I look around?"
"Why?" I asked bemused.
She shrugs her shoulders noncommittal. "I want to see where you spend your time?"
She walked over to the kitchen and took a peek inside the refrigerator, through the cabinets, the pantry. Before passing the dining room, Taejoon's study, and then entering our bedroom. I noticed Lisa recoiling at the sight of our bed that was made up with way too many throw pillows. She kept walking into the bathroom. She stared intently at the bathtub a long while before inspecting the shower from a distance. Her eyes roamed over the sink where my facial creams, makeup remover, lotions, and perfumes sat. She opened my half of our closet and shuffled through my clothing my pants suits, blouses, dresses, skirts, and tops.
I wanted to ask her what she expected to find but I just waited.
When I suspected that she was finally finished raiding my home, she stopped at my dresser and opened the top drawer. She lifted a pair of my panties and inspected them further.
"Okay," I said, snatching my panties out of her hand. "You done spying?"
She shrugged. "I suppose."
"What were you looking for?"
"Nothing specific. I'm just curious."
"About what?"
"You."
Oh.
"Where were you when you had sex with him?" she asked as we made our way back toward the living room.
"Don't start this."
"Answer the question Roseanne. Where did you have sex with him?"
"In the kitchen." I huffed. She strolled over to the kitchen. "Come over here and show me."
"I had sex with my husband and that pisses you off but he is my husband. I can do whatever I want with him. You don't have the right to be upset."
Her face hardened and her eyes lost focus. Before I knew what was happening Lisa had me pressed into the wall just behind me. "You must not realize who I am. I'm the woman with an insatiable appetite for women. I'm the woman who fucks two or three different women a day. I'm the woman who can fuck a woman for months and still not give two shits of a fuck about her. Because of you all of that has changed. You're the only woman I've had sex with since I fucking met you. I was that girl and now I don't know who I am. I feel like I'm fucking obsessed with you. Every thought I have is about you. I wonder what you're doing? If you're having sex with him. If he's making you smile or laugh....." she paused and then whispered. "I sound so fucking pathetic. I know that but it's the truth. I have every right to be upset because I'm invested. I care about you. I fucking care about you a lot."
Tears blurred my vision and I tried to blink them away but a few spilled over.
"Don't cry." She swept the tears away with thumbs and kissed my cheeks. "Can you tell me where please?"
I exhaled. "On the table."
"How did it happen?"
"I was cooking him breakfast when he came up behind me and kissed me."
"And then...?" she said standing against the wall with her arms crossed.
"Then we had sex."
"In what position?"
I huffed. "I was lying on the table and he was lying on top of me."
"Was it good? Did he make you cum? Did he lick your sweet, pretty cunt? Did he make you feel as good as me?"
"Don't do this Lisa."
"Answer. The. Question!"
"No! He didn't. He can't. Only you can make me feel that good. Is that what you want to hear?"
"Yes it is. I want to be the only one that makes you feel good. I want to corrupt and conquer you. I want to consume your thoughts and obliterate all traces of him."
Lisa was unbelievable. One minute she was banging every woman in Seoul and the next she was pining over someone she couldn't have.
"Go put some clothes on."
"I need to take a shower."
She made an annoyed expression as she plopped down on my sofa. "Make it quick. We don't have all fucking day," she removed a cigarette.
"Don't smoke in my house," I thundered.
"If you take longer than twenty minutes and I will smoke this."
"Lisa.." I pleaded.
"Time started thirty seconds ago." She glanced at her Rolex.
I rushed into the bathroom, turned the shower on, removed my clothes, and stepped in. I squirted a small amount of body wash on my loofah and scrubbed my skinned as thoroughly and as quickly as I could. When I climbed out I grabbed a towel and dried myself. I shuffled through my closet searching for something appropriate to wear. I tried on a variety of skirts and shorts without finding anything that felt cute enough.
"Time is ticking!" Lisa shouted from the living room.
I retrieved a maxi skirt from my closet with a slit that started at my thigh. The skirt was paired with a pale pink bra top with cut-outs on both sides and cream sandals. Then I applied my makeup within ten minutes. I pulled my hair up but made sure to free a few wavy pieces.
"Roseanne!" I smiled at the sound of her shouting my name. "I'm two seconds from lighting up."
If she lit up anything in my house I'm cutting her balls off.
I made my way back into the living room. "How long does it take t-" she trailed off when she caught a glimpse of me.
I locked my fingers together behind my back playing coy as I walked toward her. "Fuck," she said. "You look so fucking sexy, baby."
"Thank you."
Lisa slipped her hand inside the slit in my skirt brushing her fingers against my thigh. She moved the opposite hand further up my thigh as she slammed his lips against mine in a spine tingling kiss.
I pushed her off of me. "You said we wouldn't have sex."
She rolled his eyes.
"Let's get the fuck out of here," she breathed the words against my lips. Then she held the door open for me and observed salaciously as I sauntered passed her. "Oh, my god. Roseanne."
~
a/n: oh my goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. chaelisa man.