08
SUSAN PROPPED HER HEAD UP on the palms of her hands, her elbows pushing into the library desk. Her eyes dropped and she nearly fell into the pile of books that lay open in front of her. She snapped awake at the sound of Cassius' voice.
"Susan! Dear lord, woman, wake up!" He exclaimed, waving his hand in front of her face. She looked at Cassius, and saw that his books were all stacked up, and he was shovelling them into his bag. "Let's get something to eat, I'm starved. Then you can go to bed."
Susan nodded her head silently. She was glad that she wasn't scheduled for patrol that night. She definitely would have fallen asleep on the post. Susan pack up her books and put her bag over her shoulder. Some food sounded nice, her stomach rumbled as she stood up, and the two took off for the kitchens, Cassius propping Susan up on his shoulder.
"I want something sweet, like pudding," Susan mumbled. "I haven't had any In such a long time."
"When's the last time you ate it?" Cassius Asked, trying to keep Susan awake.
"Probably the last time I ate a proper meal, maybe yesterday? Was there pudding at the feast yesterday?"
Cassius' grin faded and he stopped and held Susan by her shoulders in front of him, a look of alarm on his face.
"What?" Susan Asked, a bit giddy from looking into his eyes for too long.
"There hasn't been pudding at the feast in three days. What have you been eating?"
"I just grab small snacks while I'm on the go. I don't have time to eat at meals, I'm usually in my dorm."
"Well no wonder you're so bloody tired! You need food, Susan, you need nutrients! You've got to eat!"
"I know, I just haven't been sleeping well at night, I've been trying to sleep during free period or at meals..."
They were close to the kitchens, so Cassius pulled Susan to the portrait of the bowl of fruit and tickled the pear. They winced at how loud the pear giggled, but there were no sound of other people, so they entered the passage that had formed. Cassius sat Susan down on an empty barrel and called for a passing house elf.
"Can you please get her some food. A lot of it, please, sandwiches, snacks, and some pudding. Lots of pudding." The house elf bowed and scurried off.
Cassius turned to Susan. "Why haven't you been sleeping?" He asked.
"Bad dreams," Susan replied. "My aunt- she was murdered by death eaters last summer. I keep seeing her dead body when I fall asleep."
"Susan, I'm so sorry," Cassius said. "What can I do?"
"I don't think there's anything you can do. I need to handle this on my own. I never got the chance to grieve over the summer, we were so busy. First the memorial, then we had to go into hiding. I am finally feeling the weight of her death, it's all crashing down on me like a pile of bricks."
"Eat some food, it will make you feel better. You can't not eat, you'll kill yourself if you don't."
"I- I just don't want to live in fear anymore, Cass."
"I know, I know." Cassius wrapped Susan in a hug. "We'll get through this. Together. Now eat, the poor house elf has piled food on the barrel next to you. I don't want to see a crumb on that plate when you're done."
Susan let out a loose laugh. "Okay, Mum."
"Hey! I'm just looking out for you. I can't have my favourite person disappear. Besides, i need you."
Susan swallowed her mouthful of food and watched Cassius with wide eyes. "You do?"
"Yeah, who else would be willing to be my partner in transfiguration? You know I'm hopeless."
Susan barked out into a fit of laughter and nodded in agreement.
"Not cool, Bones, not cool," Cassius said with a grin as Susan's fit of laughter turned into snorts. Susan's laughter died down, and she began to eat more food. She hadn't realized how hungry she was. It gave her energy, and she gulped down an entire goblet of pumpkin juice, then moved on to the next platter of food.
"Alright, Alright, slow down, Susan. We don't want you to choke, or get sick."
Susan wiped her mouth and flashed a sheepish grin at Cassius. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't realize how starved I've been. It feels good to eat again, I feel like I could run a marathon."
"How about you sleep first. You looked exhausted in the library. You could do with some rest."
How could he be so kind to her, after she had refused to talk to him in months? She leaned against him and gave him a long hug. She inhaled, her head resting on the crook of his shoulder. He smelled like eucalyptus leaves, and mint, and- something familiar that she couldn't quite put her finger on- something salty. Susan smiled, she was finally relaxed.
"Alright, lets get you to bed," Cassius said after Susan let out a particularly long yawn. Susan obliged. She grabbed her bag off of the floor, and after thanking the house elves, Cassius walked Susan over to the hufflepuff common room entrance.
"You're such a good friend," she said after letting out another, bigger, louder, yawn. Cassius pecked her cheek, and headed down to the dungeons, where he was greeted to the coolness of the Slytherin common room.
Blaise Zabini sat on the leather couch in front of the blazing green fire of the common room. He grinned as Cassius walked in. "Where were you, so late in the night?"
"It's not late, is it?" Cassius Asked.
"Yeah, mate. Nearly one in the morning."
"No way, we were in the kitchen that long? I thought it was half past eleven."
"We?"
"Yeah, well, Susan and I went to the kitchen for a snack after studying in the library. Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun, right?" Cassius let out a nervous laugh.
"So you were in the kitchens all that time- with Susan?"
"I mean, yeah, but it's because we were hungry, Susan especially. She's been having a hard time."
"Mate, you seem awfully concerned about her, are you dating?"
"What?! No! Of course not, we're just friends..."
"But...?"
"But she hugged me, and it felt like fireworks were going off in my chest- and when we were in Potions the other day, you know, with the amortentia..."
"What?"
"Well, mine smelt like her. I only noticed when she hugged me, she smells like strawberries, and caramel, and everything sweet and good in the world."
"Mate, I think you're falling for her."
"But she's not falling for me! She called me her 'friend!'"
"She will, I know it. What did her amortentia smell like? Did she tell you?"
"Er- yeah, it was- umm- agh! I can't remember... it was... fresh parsley- Or was it dill?- and then there was campfire smoke, and I think she said 'something salty?' She didn't know what it was either."
Blaise came very close to Cassius and took a long whiff of his neck. "Definitely salty," he remarked when Cassius pushed him off.
"Zabini, what the Hell?"
"Look, mate. She didn't know what you smelled like before the amortentia, did she? Probably not, that's why she didn't know what that salty ingredient was. All I'm saying is that she's falling for you too. You're the final key to her heart, or whatever."
Cassius rolled his eyes. "Come up with that by yourself, did you? Look, I get it, you like teasing me because I fancy a hufflepuff, but she is so much more than that. Susan is intelligent and beautiful and inventive and ambitious and amazing and-"
"I get it, mate. You're into her. I'm not teasing, honest."
Cassius let out a huff. "Good," he said before stalking towards the passage that lead to the boys' dorm. "I'm off to bed, I'll see you in the morning."
"Night, mate."
"G'night."
As Cassius laid in his bed, he thought about what Blaise had told him. There was no way that he was the last smell from Susan's amortentia. He had checked, as soon as he entered the dormitory of sleeping boys, he sniffed his armpits, he smelled his clothes, he even tried to sniff his feet. He didn't smell salty- he just smelled like plain old Cassius. He wanted so badly to be the final ingredient to Susan's potion, but he doubted that he ever would. Susan was too good for him, to kind and generous... so why did she smell like his potion? Was this the universes cruel way of showing him that he would never find love? That he was undeserving? Cassius sighed to himself and pulled the covers over his head. He wanted to scream into his pillow, but went against it, not wanting to wake up the rest of the house. He sighed, and after about an hour of staring into the darkness, he fell asleep.