Asher woke up alone in bed the next morning. He rolled around on the brightly coloured sheets that seemed to engulf him, stretching his arm out beside him to feel for Danny but all that he found were warm, empty sheets. Danny must have just gotten up. He lifted his head to look around Danny’s room but his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. The bright orange curtain against the window was still shut tightly, no direct sunlight was entering the room but the glow of orange bathed every item in its light.
He stumbled from the room with sleepy eyes and heavy feet which stomped unintentionally against the hard wood floors. He walked down the old staircase and into the hallway, following the quiet sounds of people talking. He turned the corner and smiled as he saw the state of the kitchen. He knew that Danny must have been helping his father make breakfast as the entire kitchen seemed to be a mess. The tops of the benches had been painted with flour and milk and little pieces of egg shells. Unwashed utensils lay against the countertop next to empty bowls.
‘Good Morning Asher,’ Mr Clark smiled over at him from the stovetop where he was cooking pancakes.
‘Good morning,’ Asher smiled. He took a seat at one of the bench seats, his elbows resting against the counter top. ‘I see that Danny has been helping you cook,’ he observed, nodding towards the mess.
Mr Clark smiled, ‘God do I love that boy, but he sure does know how to make a mess.’
‘Speaking of my boyfriend, where is he?’ Asher asked as he looked around the kitchen, eyes searching for Danny.
‘He’s letting Buddy in from outside,’ he explained.
The hard tap of paws echoed around them and Asher looked towards the doorway, smiling when Buddy rounded the corner too fast, his paws scrambling to keep him upright for a few seconds. Once the dog was firmly steady on the ground he was off again, running to Asher. He leant down and smoothed the fur on the dogs head, ‘Where’s Danny, aye?’ he asked Buddy.
‘I’m here,’ Danny laughed. Asher hadn’t noticed that his boyfriend had been standing in the doorway.
Asher smiled at Danny but memories from the night before came to the forefront of his mind and he knew that Danny would want to know now what had happened. He wasn’t sure what to tell him when he asked.
Danny didn’t ask any questions just then. He walked over to Asher and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. ‘Dad and I make pancakes,’ he smiled proudly.
‘Uh, I think I made pancakes and you made a mess,’ Mr Clark smirked.
Danny rolled his eyes playfully and plonked down on the bench seat next to Asher. Asher leant down and continued to pet Buddy until the pancakes were ready.
Mr Clark carried the finished product over to the table and they joined him, Asher taking his place next to Danny.
‘How was the party last night?’ Danny’s father asked as they ate.
Danny looked over at Asher with a concerned look. Asher smiled at Mr Clark, ‘It was fine.’
‘Just fine?’ He asked. ‘Danny always says how fun Damien’s parties are. That kid is really great, isn’t he?’
Asher resisted the sudden urge to roll his eyes, reminding himself that Damien was no threat to his relationship. He wanted to say that Damien seemed like a manipulative person who was just a little too interested in Danny but his conscience told him that was a bad idea. He kept the distaste from his voice, ‘Yeah, he seemed really nice.’
There was a pregnant silence. Perhaps Asher’s tone wasn’t as even as he had aimed for and a bit of his resentfulness shone through in the words.
Mr Clark changed the subject, ‘What plans do you two have for today?’
Danny shrugged, ‘Not much is planned, I was thinking we can take Buddy for a walk, but that’s about it.’
They made small talk for the rest of the meal. Danny kept glancing at him strangely. Asher wasn’t sure what to make of that.
‘Do you want us to help you clean up?’ Asher asked as they stood up from the table.
Danny’s father shook his head, ‘I’ll deal with the kitchen.’
‘Thank-you,’ Danny said.
They dropped their plates off at the kitchen and made their way up the stairs in silence. There had never been any awkwardness between them before and Asher wasn’t sure how to handle it. Danny and he were open and happy and strong, yet Danny wanted answers, he could see it in his eyes, but most of all, Danny was worried and that was what hurt.
Asher expected to be bombarded with worry filled questions the moment that they were alone but all that Danny did was take off his shirt. Asher looked at his boyfriend in confusion, ‘What are you doing?’
‘Getting changed,’ Danny shrugged. He changed into denim shorts and a white shirt, looking over at Asher. ‘Want to walk Buddy with me?’
Asher nodded.
Danny leant over and kissed Asher’s cheek sweetly, ‘I’ll go put him on his leash and meet you outside.’
Asher changed his clothing and grabbed his phone off the table, checking his messages. He had a few from his friends asking him how his weekend was but it was empty other than that. He didn’t mind since the only person that he really cared about who would message him was waiting for him outside.
He went back downstairs and found Danny standing on the driveway with a black leash wrapped around his wrist, a very excited looking dog at the other end.
‘Ready for a walk, Buddy?’ he asked, petting his fur.
They walked down the street, their footsteps matching as they wondered down the footpath. It was strangely peaceful and Asher wondered if this was what they would do every day when they lived together. Would they walk down to some lake somewhere and skim rocks over the water? Would Buddy come with them? He looked down at the happy dog, knowing that Danny would probably die before leaving his faithful companion behind.
Asher didn’t know where they were walking to but Danny led the way. They reached what seemed to be a walking trail, where the busy streets dissolved into tree’s and grass. A cleared walkway through the forestry stood before them and Buddy ran headfirst into it.
‘How come we haven’t walked this track before?’ Asher asked as they made their way between the trees. They were walking on an incline, the ground sloping upwards with steps made of rocks every fifteen feet or so.
‘I don’t come here often,’ Danny shrugged, ‘but the view at the end is really pretty. It’s like seeing the area new for the first time, even though I’ve lived here my whole life. You can see out over the rest of the area. The houses, the tiny people, the mountains in the distance. It’s beautiful. You’ll love it.’
‘I doubt I will see anything as beautiful as you for the rest of my life. You can try to impress me with the view, but you will fail.’
Danny smiled that gorgeous smile at Asher. Just like that, he knew that things between them would always be okay and he understood the feeling that Danny had been saying before. No matter how many times he saw that smile, the way that his cheeks dimpled and his eyes lit up, it always felt as good as the first. It felt like discovering the unknown and watching a sunset from a distance and it stirred something deep in his heart.
Danny blushed and Asher loved that after all this time he could still cause Danny’s cheeks to redden slightly and his eyes to look down to the floor bashfully. ‘You’re a sweet talker, Asher,’ he said.
Asher wrapped his arm around Danny’s shoulders as they walked, ‘I’m a truth teller, sweetheart.’
They only had to walk for a minute or two before they were at the lookout. The walking track ceased and became a square of cleared space on the top of the small mountain they were on. A bench seat sat to their right and before them was a wooden fence.
Asher retracted his arms from around Danny’s shoulders and walked up to the fence, looking out over it. Danny had been right, the houses and people looked small. There were mountains much larger than this one surrounding them and spread out along the horizon.
Danny came to stand next to him, looking out. Asher turned his gaze, Danny being much more interesting than the view. His eyes were lit up, by the sun shining on them but also because of something from within, something intangible and indescribable. Danny saw the world like a child, everything new and exciting no matter how many times he saw it, it still amazed him. The innocence and truth that Danny held right to his core was what allowed him to see beauty in things that Asher never saw. Danny’s room was a mess, full of things that meant nothing to ordinary people, but to Danny, things that were peculiar and even things that were common held beauty.
Asher remembered the time that Danny’s father had planted flowers in their yard and Danny would look at them every time he left the house with the same appreciation as the first time they had bloomed. When Asher had asked why he was so captivated by them he had responded ‘true beauty never gets old and boring.’ Danny himself, Asher believed, held more beauty in his heart than a thousand flowers.
Danny spoke then, he must have felt Asher’s eyes on him. ‘What happened last night?’ he asked. There was no anger or accusation in the words. The birds in the trees seemed to stop singing, the sound of the wind against the forest tree’s seemed to cease in anticipation.
Asher wanted to tell him the truth. He wanted to tell him why he had ran from the girl and her boyfriend. He did, but the words got stuck in his throat and there was no question as to why. Telling Danny what those people had done to him would mean burdening him. It was in the past and bringing it up would only hurt Danny. Danny was his to protect. He couldn’t tell him the whole truth.
‘I saw my ex-boyfriend at the party,’ Asher lied. It was true that he had another boyfriend before Danny. They had only dated for a month or two and it had ended messy. Danny also knew this. ‘I didn’t want to face him after how badly things ended between us.’
Danny’s expression softened, ‘Oh. Why didn’t you tell me last night?’
Asher shrugged weakly, ‘I just didn’t want you to worry. Things are so, so over between he and me, it just brought up bad memories.’ Lies. Lies to protect Danny from unnecessary worry, he reasoned. Guilt still stirred in his stomach regardless.
Danny lent into Asher, his finger’s linking with Asher’s, ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that, I know how hard that break up was.’
‘It’s no matter,’ Asher told him. ‘I overreacted and anyway, I don’t want to talk about my ex when I have you right here with me.’
And just like that things were back to normal. They sat on the bench seat with Buddy sleeping next to them and they talked for what seemed like minutes but must have been hours. The sun which had been reaching the top of the sky when they left the house was now slowly falling back down to the horizon minute by minute. The world wasn’t waiting for them, Asher remembered, but he still hopelessly wished that it would.
‘We should go home,’ Danny said eventually. ‘You’ll have to drive back to your house soon.’
Asher stood, extending his hand out. Danny took it, standing himself.
‘Let’s not speak of our parting,’ he whispered, drawing Danny into his side for a kiss.
They walked back down the track, it was much easier than walking up and Asher had no complaints about that. They were speaking of what they should do on their next weekend together when Danny opened his mouth to speak but something stopped him. Asher followed his eye line and saw that someone was coming towards them from further down the trail. The person seemed to be jogging.
‘Jules?’ Asher called out, recognising the person.
‘Hey guys!’ Jules crossed the distance between them, ‘What are you two doing here?’
‘Walking Buddy here,’ Danny nodded towards the dog which was nuzzling into Jules’s hand.
‘I didn’t know you lived around here?’ Asher commented.
‘Yeah, I go running on this track all the time, I live only a couple of blocks away. What happened to you two last night?’ he asked and Asher’s breath hitched in his throat. ‘I lost track of you guys pretty early in the night.’
Asher fumbled with his words. He was so used to lying and all he had to do was just say something like oh we didn’t leave that early or what did you get up to after we left? to change the topic, but the words seemed stuck. What was going on? ‘We, uh-‘
‘My dad has a pretty strict curfew,’ Danny shrugged, glancing briefly at Asher. ‘I lost track of time and when I realised what time it was we had to get home pretty quick.’
Asher tried to keep the shock off of his face. Danny lied. Danny just lied. Danny never lied.
‘Oh. Anyway, I should leave you guys to your walk,’ he reached over and hugged Danny. Jules then shook Asher’s hand, ‘It was nice meeting you the other night. We should all hang out soon.’
Asher nodded, too in shock to say anything.
Jules walked past them, continuing on his jog up the track.
Danny started walking, but Asher was stuck in his place. He didn’t know what to do. Danny, Danny who was sweet and innocent and kind and truthful had just lied. He had lied for him. Why?
Danny must have noticed that Asher had stopped walking because he turned around further up the track and called out; ‘You okay?’ Asher didn’t respond and Danny walked back over to him. ‘Ash?’
‘You lied.’
Danny looked at Asher with big eyes, ‘What?’
‘To Jules. You said that we left because of your father’s curfew, that wasn’t true,’ his words held no accusation, they were just statements.
‘I did,’ Danny nodded. ‘Are you mad at me for lying?’ he asked quietly, a drop of fear mixed into the question.
Asher turned, blue eyes meeting green. ‘Don’t lie for me.’
'Why?’ Danny asked. ‘I know that it would have been embarrassing for you to say that your ex had been there, it’s an uncomfortable topic for you…’ it was silent for a few moments. ‘I’m sorry.’
Asher’s hand lifted to cup Danny’s cheek, ‘You have the biggest heart of anyone in the entire world and you would do anything for me, but don’t lie. It’s not you, it’s not who you are.’
Asher removed his hand and wrapped his arms around Danny in a tight hug for a few moments. Danny hugged him back, his head resting against the side of Asher’s shoulder.
Asher didn’t want Danny to lie for him. It was one thing for Asher to lie to protect Danny, but an entirely different thing for Danny to be the one to lie. Lying for Danny was the opposite of what was in his nature and watching how easily he could do it for Asher’s sake was scary. He didn’t want Danny to lose what made him himself, but most of all, Asher didn’t want Danny to become him. He wanted Danny to live a life of truth and just one tiny lie seemed insignificant but it wasn’t Danny, it just wasn’t.
They let go of each other, save for their hands. That was the first lie that he had heard come from Danny’s mouth and he hated that it was because of him.