"Should we put her back on those pills?" I'm pretty sure that was James. They knocked me out with some herb, but I'm hearing everything. It made me feel asleep, but I wasn't or else I wouldn't hear everything, right? I felt like I was trapped inside my mind, with no way out.
"Are you mad! We finally got her off those damn things! There is no way in hell I'll make anymore for her! She needs to learn control just like anything and believe me she will learn." Rosa I believed, everything did sound a little bit fuzzy making it a little bit difficult to understand who was saying what.
"If you don't then I will just have to find a witch that does!" James sounded furious.
"And risk putting her in even more danger than she already is. Real smart. Do you even really think that's what she would want?"
"I could sneak it in her food or lie to her again. I don't want to but I will. It's for her own good."
Was he crazy? I would never forgive him if he did that. James was supposed to be my best friend he is like a second dad to me. He wouldn't really do that would he? He is probably just tired and stressed from the attack. Deep down he had to know that, that would be unforgivable.
I need to wake up. I needed James to know I wouldn't take the pills again. I didn't like feeling like this, I felt almost nothing. I don't want to feel the pain of all those people I killed but I would rather feel that than nothing. I tried super dooper hard to open them but they felt as if they were cemented shut. It shouldn't take long for this to wear off. Should it?
4 hours later
I finally was able to open my eyes. I raised my hands to them and rubbed furiously. I swung my legs off of the bed and did my best to not imagine all the bodies collapsing on the ground because of me. I ruined so many families. I'm like the monsters that ruined mine.
"You're awake?" I turned to see James sitting on the couch.
"You will not put be back on those pills!" I snapped at him. He seemed taken aback that I knew.
"This is me. This is my body and I am done with being drugged without my consent!" I snapped. I really hated how they all act like im a broken child who constantly needs to be sheltered and kept out of harms way, whether it's a splinter from the woods or an army of rogues, they all think I'm too weak to handle myself.
"Is Lincoln here?" I asked. He frowned and shook his head.
"We got into a bit of a disagreement and he left to cool down."
"How did you know about what we were talking about?" He asked standing up from the old but comfortable cream couch.
"My senses were all still fully working. I heard everything." I snapped. I raised my hands to my head and gently rubbed my temples, a headache forming.
"I should probably go back to the pack house." I frowned. "I'm assuming you don't want Lincoln here."
I opened the door and quietly shut it. I fell against the door when I saw the sight in front of me. Everything around the house was dead. Dead grass, dead bushes, dead flowers, even some dead trees that had pack members clearing bodies below. I raised a shaky hand to my heart and felt a tear slide down my cheek.
"Brielle." I jumped and saw Lincoln looking at me concerned.
"Let's get you home, okay?" He spoke pulling at my arm and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I'm really a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster.
"Stop." Snapped Lincoln.
"That was not your fault. Those people were going to attack our pack. They were rogues, they all had been banished from their packs for some unforgiven crime! They aren't worth your tears!" He spoke yanking me into his chest, hugging me tightly.
"But they were still just people, Lincoln." I frowned. "Regardless of their pasts they were still people who could of lived a happy life and I took that opportunity away from them."
"No you saved our pack! We would have been at war with an army of fucking rogues! Do you understand me! You saved so many lives, our friends lives and families. They all owe you for life." He said pulling away from the hug and continuing to lead me to the pack house.
"I just don't see it that way. I killed hundreds of people without a second though. That can't be forgiven or appreciated."
"You eliminated a major threat to our pack! Do you understand me! I will not have you here destroying yourself over this, it is our job to protect this pack and that's exactly what you did." He snapped tightening his grip on my hand.
"What are your thoughts on me retaking the pills?" I asked.
"I think it is a hundred percent your choice and I personally wouldn't do it because you would have those moments like you did while taking them plus other worse side affects from the upped dosage." He shrugged. So it would be a definite no for him. I know that ultimately it will be my choice, but I don't want to have to make this major decision on my own. It was hard enough deciding the first time.
"How about you give yourself time to adjust not being on the pills and then you can decide, Alright? Now I think we should go and cuddle in bed, what do you think?" I just let a smile make its way into my face and nodded my head.
We pushed open the door and headed up to our room.
We both took a quick shower. Separately. In hopes of washing away today's events. I desperately wanted to forget about it, knowing well I would have nightmares or visions about it tonight. I curled up in bed clutching onto my pillow, determined to not fall asleep tonight. I had too much on my mind anyway. I didn't want to deal with nightmares on top of everything else.
A/N
Hey everyone! Hope you all are staying safe and enjoyed this chapter! Remember to vote if you like it! if you have any suggestions please leave a comment or message me anything, grammatical errors, constructive criticism any ideas, everything will really help!!! Sorry this wasn't a very exciting chapter :(