It had only been less than a week or so since the last big incident. Overhaul. Another big villain character bringing chaos to innocent lives. Another time Deku and people like him that were way too young to be involved ended up in the attempts to stop them. Of course things had turned out fine enough after the showdown; Eri was getting care, Overhaul was captured, and the villain's crew of criminals seemed to have retreated back into the dark corners of society, or at least a corner where they couldn't be found.
That was all fine and good, but it had only served to further push forward doubts Izuku had been harboring in the back of his head. The small yet muscular kid stood by the windows of the dorm and stared out, again lost in thought as he had been plenty of times before. The sun was setting and it colored the entire scene around the building in hues that reflected off the drops of water from recent rainfall. The boy just stood and thought, making little other motion that the small effort it took to scratch at the bandaging of a mild injury on his arm. Eri's quirk had helped tremendously during his battle with her captor, but of course he and the others hadn't escaped without any scratches. Some had left in much worse condition, and in honesty, Deku wasn't entirely sure how some of them had survived.
He kept running through his head his memory of the wounds Mirio had by the end of the battle. He had seen people survive injuries like that before, but at the time and given the circumstances, logic wasn't strong in his favor. He was glad of course, as he was with the general quick recovery that most of them experienced. He closed his eyes for a moment to reach back to the quick glances of memory of the battle. They came forward as pictures and captured fragments of events. Keeping his eyes closed too long would strengthen the definition of the bloodied figures and terror of the snapshots, so he quickly opened them again. His mind kept bringing back the way Overhaul had talked about quirks.. Like a disease. He was... fascinated by this perspective. Of course he knew what the man had done was horrid, and every part of him despised him for it, but he wanted to understand. He had never thought much into it. Quirks were a part of genetics, right? Something in your DNA couldn't exactly be considered a disease in the same way he had interpreted it, could it? Quirks weren't contagious. Perhaps he had some point in that belief if he thought we weren't supposed to be born with them.. Like a deformity? But it's so widespread.. Perhaps-
Before he could finish this strand of thought, he became acutely aware that he was being looked at, and shifted his head's angle slightly to the side just before he heard the person speak.
"Are you alright, Deku?" Ochako was on her path from some place to another in the dorm building and had stopped when she saw how zoned out he had been. She held a blanket of some sort over her shoulder. She was probably going to head off to rest. It was getting dark, and with all the commotion of recent events, it made sense for her to go relax around now. Her eyes were lifted slightly more open than usual, having been perked up by her curiosity, and her concern was starting to show in her gaze. She was too kind, really. She didn't need to worry about him muttering or anything. She should be used to that by now. At least that's what Deku thought in the back of his mind.
"Oh?" He straightened himself a bit and turned slightly more to face her. "Yeah." He calmed himself and glanced back out of the window, keeping his stance the same.
"You were starting to mumble to yourself again. At the very least I'm used to it being a little more noticeable than that. You were quite quiet. I probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't see your lips moving." She smiled a little bit as she attempted to humor him.
Deku gave a chuckle back and put a hand to the back of his head. "Sorry if it's weird. I've.. got a lot to think about."
As if reminded of what had happened, the girl glanced down, her hair sinking ever slightly in front of her eyes as she tried not to let herself portray any sorrow for the memories. She nodded and looked back up to make eye contact. "It's understandable, really." She put her hands together, gently fingering the palm of one hand with the other as she thought. "I'm surprised I haven't started staring off and mumbling too..!" She jerked her shoulders up in a subtle way as she joked again. Her presence was a nice change of pace from Deku's thoughts.
"Heh. I guess it helps." He let the warmth of her personality soften his tension and his eyes half shut for a brief second. "I think I'm gonna go outside to.. you know.. mutter some more." He joked back. "B-But if you feel like it, you can join me. It's not that wet out there, I can dry off a spot for us on the porch." He offered it, not really sure what he sought for in response.
She seemed surprised by his invitation, and smiled, her cheeks exhibiting that kind blush they tended to do during a pleasant conversation. "I'd love to sit with you and listen to you mutter," she paused a moment after the comment and added; "though I was just heading up to bed. I think Tsu wanted to visit my room and discuss something. I hope you don't mind." Her voice made it clear that she felt as though she was letting him down.
Deku lifted his hands in a halting position. "No! It's fine. I wasn't really expecting anyone to come with me, so I'm not actually entirely sure why I asked." He did have a special place in his heart for her, maybe just because of how kind she always was. "You can go rest, you already planned this out with Tsu, so you should go." He tried not to sound hurt, because he honestly wasn't, but saying that in any confident tone was difficult.
"Are you sure?" She asked about halfway through turning to head to her room.
"Yeah. I'm sure." He flashed a sweet smile to her as he put his hand on the door.
She provided a quick "okay" and then cautiously went on her way. Deku stood there and watched her go for a bit before returning to his focus and opening the door.
The noises of the outside world greeted him as he stepped out. He could hear the cars and the wind, and yet some birds as well. It was nice here. There was a smell of petrichor as he made his way to the steps. With some release of energy he plopped down onto a stair step and unintentionally let out a sigh. He tried to pinpoint where he had left off with his mental rambling, and ended up back at his question about what exactly quirks were. As he was finally starting to get back into his train of thought, he was once again snapped to the world around him as someone else started talking to him.
"Hey- hey kid are you alright?" The thin, yet quite easily identified figure of All Might was now in front of him, trying to wave him back to reality.
Startled and embarrassed, Deku sat himself up and shook away his ramblings. "A-All Might! Sorry! I was rambling.. Well.. I was thinking." He tried not to sweat awkwardly as he scratched the side of his face.
The slender man gave one of his lower, single chuckles that really felt more like a release of breath than an intended laugh. "Well I didn't mean to stop your thinkin'." He smiled at him in attempts to help calm him down.
"I just came out here to not bother anyone with my muttering and then you came around and I-" he stopped and thought, "why are you out here anyway?"
All Might shrugged it off and started to casually explain to the best he could. "I thought I should visit some of the kids who were involved in all.. the recent stuff. Just to make sure they were doin' okay. With the police investigations and the interviews, it would be easy for some of them to end up needing help. I just wanted to make sure they had a way to ask for some if they did." He said in a calm tone.
"Oh." Deku responded simply, not sure why he had wondered. It made sense.
"And it's not like I had anything better to do about now." The teacher added on, lightening the mood when he saw the kid revert to his contemplative expression.
Without hesitating much further, All Might sat down next to him and put his hands on his knees in a relaxed sit. "So tell me what it is."
Confused and disrupted, Midoriya blinked and looked up at him. "What what is?"
"The thing you were thinkin' about. It's gotta be something. That head of yours is always putting stuff together." The older hero averted his gaze to the sunset as he asked.
Feeling a bit honored by the remark, Deku felt a little more comfortable discussing it. "Well.. it's a little odd."
All Might kept his face away and let his gaze return to him as he spoke. "Mhm.." He gave a small nod for him to continue.
"I was wondering.. About Overhaul." Izuku could feel All Might's eyebrows lift slightly at the mention of his name. He wasn't exactly surprised to hear that, but just.. listening. "There were some things I heard him say. About quirks. It made me think about it. About what quirks are. He called them a disease. Of course he was already kind of a germ freak I could assume, but it interested me. I never really thought too deeply about what these powers are. They're in your DNA right?" He started to get into his rambling, putting his hands out as he asked and looking back to All Might as the man turned his head back to him. "Yet you can steal them, and pass them to other people. Like.. are they genetic mutations? Defects? How do you just get rid of those, or collect them? I mean.. I don't think I'd be able to ever really understand the extent of what they are or how they work, but more than that.. I'm not sure.." He was quite cautious and unsure about whether he should finish the sentence, but his mentor's look seemed understanding. "If... I'm not sure if they're.. a good thing for people?"
This did surprise him. He wasn't angry or upset of course; he had asked the kid about this, but he didn't seem to quite grasp the entirety of what his apprentice was pondering. "What do you mean?"
Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, the boy proceeded; "Well what all do quirks do for us? They let us do some pretty useful things, they help save people and push our society forward. We can heal people more easily, construction and planning of societies and cities are a lot easier with things like strength and IQ quirks, but.. is it worth the trade-off? In order for quirks to really help us there need to be enough people around with these useful abilities, which also means there will be some really chaotic powers in the hands of people who don't deserve them or can't handle them. If there was a way to limit who got powers and who didn't, maybe it would work out, but we don't live in a world like that. They just appear in you when you're born. We have lots of really good people doing great things with their capabilities, but the amount of damage that people with bad intentions and possibly even stronger abilities just.. doesn't seem like it's worth it. Imagine how much easier it would be to take down people like the League of Villains if they couldn't just teleport wherever they wanted, or if one touch couldn't entirely dissolve you. They'd be much smaller threats! We wouldn't need these big heroes or all these precautions because the enemy would be on equal playing grounds with us. It's just like-" He found himself stopping his rant when he saw the expression on All Might's face. Confused and.. concerned. "I-I'm sorry. I just have a lot of thoughts."
"No, it's fine, really. Thinking is good." He spoke much softer now. "You've got some big ideas." Another pause before continuing. "I don't think the world can change that much. If it could be different, maybe it would be better without quirks and all that, but we can't really fix that now." He ran a hand down his own knee, seeming to press out some folds in the baggy shorts he wore. "But we live in this world. Someone like you or I couldn't make things go back. So we do good things with what we have. Quirks do exist. And bad people do have them. That's why other people have to step up to that." He closed his sunken eyes, perhaps to reach some distant memory. "It's nice to dream of a world with easier ways to do things. Some place where all those things you mentioned won't be a problem, but we don't have the luck of being there. Doing our best with the world we do have is all we can do."
"You're right." Izuku admitted. The silence lingered between them for a moment of time. "It just makes me think. About something that happened when I was younger." He lifted his face to the sky as he described it. "My mother had brought me out to a park or something. It was one of the days I had worn my All Might outfit out.." He felt kind of embarrassed to admit that, but it seemed to amuse the retired hero, so he continued. "Mom said she had something to do, someone to talk to or some other task I don't remember, so she handed me her purse and sat me down on an empty bench. She wasn't going to be long or too far away. Just enough that if I needed her I could get her. But she said I could be the hero that protected that purse while she was off, and I was quite happy to do that." He could recall how it felt to hold the bag and hum some heroic theme to himself as he looked around for suspicious people. "And it was going fine until an older man came and sat next to me. I couldn't quite see his face, but I could tell his age by his voice. He held a newspaper that blocked any good view I could have gotten of his face anyway. He just.. sat down and silently read for a bit, then started to talk. I was confused why some older guy would want to talk to me, and I thought maybe he wanted to steal the purse, so I made sure to keep a distance. But he just started reading the title of an article. Something like 'Hero Saves Hundreds from Explosive Villain Attack'. He must have looked at me because he followed it up with 'All Might, huh? I can tell you like heroes. It's only right. After all they do for us'. Some detail about the way he said it didn't sound.. genuine. I didn't talk to him, but he kept on. He started on some rant about how things used to be. That ever so long ago, no one had powers. He explained the way people used to all go to the same kinds of schools, and how most of the crimes could be handled locally by just police. And if given the right chance.." he looked toward the ground again as he spoke the line "anyone could be a hero." He let it sit before continuing. "I guess halfway through his next portion of rant he realized he really was talking to a kid, and he just got up and left. When my mom came back I didn't really know how to tell her what had happened, so I didn't. I just gave her the purse and kept quiet. I don't think that man was quite all there to have even started that deep discussion with me in the first place, and I find it even less likely that he may have thought I'd remember it. But I do. I don't know why.. but it stuck with me. Though I was pretty good at ignoring that idea all together when I got older. I was so focused on being a hero, anything he had said about our society didn't really mean anything to me.." He slipped from his speech back into his thought, unsure how he felt about saying the next part.
"Are you.." The words slipped cautiously from the elder man's mouth. "Are you having doubts about being a hero?"
He quickly sat himself up and waved his hands about to dismiss it. "Of course not! I've been given so much to get here and I know I want to help people! It's all I've ever fought for! It'd be foolish to give up on that!" He slowed down when All Might tilted his head and leaned his posture back. "I just.. I can't help but think about what things could be like. Like the quirks people have that end up hurting people. If they could just.. not have to worry about that. To prevent certain harmful things from even occurring.. In honesty.. If quirks didn't exist, wouldn't it be better? Would what happened to Eri have happened if she couldn't do what she can? Or would Mirio have had so much to lose from that bullet.. And if Overhaul's powers weren't so strong.. if he was a normal person... If everyone was.. would Nighteye be okay now?" He felt guilty just saying his name. He looked up to his teacher's somewhat hallowed face. "Would you?"
Neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke. What could really follow that up. The young student felt his body filling up with guilt and regret with such urgency that it heated up his insides. The word 'mistake' rang in his head as he swiftly stood himself up and shuffled to the door. "I-I'm sorry. I'm going inside." He managed to force the words out as he slid himself into the dorm building.
"Wait- Midoriya, you-" All Might could barely get the phrase out before he was cut off by the closing of the door. He could follow him, but in honesty, the hero wasn't sure what he could say. He just knew that something had gotten to that boy, and all he could really hope was that he could find a way to help work it out. He always had a way of thinking too much, it was admirable when used properly. He had noticed that not long after choosing him as a successor. He had just hoped it would never become such an obstacle for him. As the bony man stood himself up, he couldn't help but stare at the door. He sighed a small "it's alright", possibly in hopes the kid was still listening, and perhaps to comfort himself. He turned around and started off, disheartened.