yoongi stops his movements as soon as he heard taehyung entering the karaoke room jennie is in.
letting go. it's hard. especially if you know you were there for her in the first place.
"yoongs!" jennie squeals hugging the pale man who's wearing a bored expression. "uh, get off me, you're invading my space!" yoongi groans, trying to get off of her hold but she hugs him tighter.
yoongi sighs and a smile creeps up onto his plump lips.
don't let go, jennie. he thinks.
-
"yoongi!!!" jennie shouts when she saw yoongi leaning on a wall. "hey," he coldly says. jennie went closer to him, leaning aswell. "did you miss me?"
yes.
"no." yoongi rolls his eyes. "not even a little?" jennie pouts, and yoongi shakes his head.
so much. i miss you so much jennie.
-
"yoongs, taehyung asked me out on a date! what should i wear?" jennie sips her coffee nervously. yoongi looks away from her, the jealousy steaming up on his heart.
"a funeral gown." he says, grabbing his coffee leaving jennie alone in the cafe.
they are bestfriends. yoongi knows that. but his heart beats for his bestfriend who's already in love with someone else.
yoongi is a great liar. he pretends to be annoyed whenever jennie's around. he pretends to be unhappy when he sees her. he pretends.
and maybe that's why jennie never sees him as anything else but her best buddy.
yoongi finally exits the bar, he fishes out his car keys, and went inside the parking lot.
and when he's in his car. the man leans his arms on the steering wheel before placing his head on top of it.
it hurts, yes. it hurts that jennie didn't notice his attraction for her. it's also hard for him because he needs to keep his feelings in whenever jennie is around taehyung or whenever she talks about him like he's the only man in the world.
like min yoongi doesn't exist in her life.
yoongi can still remember how this started. how taehyung and jennie started. taehyung and him are also best pals.
but, yoongi didn't know that tables will turn because just one look and jennie fell in love with taehyung.
whilst yoongi keeps looking at jennie for her to realize that he likes-- loves her so much.
more than taehyung could. more than anyone could.
but he sacrificed his happiness, for jennie's.
yoongi watched the couple together. being all sweet and stuffs like that. and he will only look at them boredly, pretending to be happy for them.
but he's not.
yoongi's in pain.
he told himself that he will get through it easily. but everytime he blinks and opens his eyes, what he sees is jennie.
jennie jennie jennie jennie jennie!
and as much as he cried at night, jennie can never hear him.
cause she's busy wrapping her arms around someone else.
yoongi waited. he waited for jennie to call him again. to hang-out with him again. like the days before taehyung came into her life.
but she never did.
until one morning, he opened his messages and saw jennie's.
jennie16 :
ey grandpa! wanna come to my house?
yoongi almost jumped out of his fence. he was excited to see her. he can clearly remember how he spent one hour on finding the right clothes to wear.
and when he rang the doorbell, waiting for jennie to come out and smile at him, yoongi couldn't think straight.
should he use his facade once again?
he did that. he looked at jennie that time whilst they were watching a movie with chaeyoung like he's not even bothered by her existence.
deep down, his heart wouldn't stop beating fast. it's almost intolerable, but gladly, he managed to show jennie that she annoyed him for waking him up by her text.
"so what's the deal, why'd you bring me here?" yoongi remembers how his brows furrow when he asked her that.
"i want you to pretend to be my boyfriend, so we can make taehyung jealous."
yoongi's heart drops. it was still about taehyung. about the guy who cheated on her two years ago.
and it irritates him for she was once again blind.
yoongi hates the idea of cheating. he hates it so much.
but he knows he can't be angry at taehyung.
why? because yoongi doesn't have any rights. he's just one of a million bestfriends jennie has.
but this friend, this friend right here, is the one who loves her the most.
yoongi would die for jennie without her noticing. and he can die all over again saving the same person who keeps on killing him inside.
two years ago. their relationship fell down along with jennie and taehyung's.
that night at the bar. taehyung texted him that he can't find jennie anywhere. yoongi came on running that he forgot about his car.
he was only wearing his pajamas and some slippers.
he was running, finding jennie. he was worried. he was taunted by the idea of jennie in danger. he wants her to be safe.
"yoongi-hyung? have you seen her? chaeyoung and lisa already left." taehyung says, yoongi senses that he's not the only one worried.
yoongi sees a dark alley on the corner of the bar. he decided to look for jennie there.
his mind is a mess, if he couldn't find jennie tonight then he will not sleep. he will not sleep until he can see her again.
"no, i kept searching for her but--" yoongi stops.
his feet froze at the sight. yoongi drops his phone from his ear to the side.
jennie and kai are talking.
he didn't know what to feel.
if he should be jealous for jennie talking to kai with a smile on her face.
or happy because he found jennie.
or mad for taehyung.
"that's your baby?" yoongi hears jennie's voice. "hmm yeah, my wife and i are going to take her to australia so we can start there." kai responds.
yoongi furrows his eyebrows. "kai has a baby and a wife?" he probably said that out loud because kai turns around to find for the voice.
yoongi looks around and finds a hiding spot on the corner, it's not far away from the two so he can still hear them.
"but, why'd you wanna talk about, for real?" jennie asks kai. "i want to say good bye to you, i heard you finally have a boyfriend. don't let him go this time." jennie giggles, "yah! i won't ever let him go, i love him."
ouch. yoongi's mind screams.
"i'm glad you're happy now, jennie." then everything went on silent mode. yoongi was about to check the scene when taehyung comes into the view.
yoongi saw how taehyung dropped his cigarette and how his eyes turn into shades of a darker brown. his eyes are blinking as if he couldn't digest what he sees.
yoongi is now confuse. he tilts his head to the side and his eyes widen.
kai is kissing jennie.
yoongi understands why taehyung is close to crying. he adverts his gaze back to where taehyung is standing, but he was gone.
"w-wait!" yoongi hears jennie's protests. "damn, sorry, shit i'm sorry." kai apologizes, "what the hell? why'd you do that?!"
"sorry jennie, fuck sorry."
yoongi hears jennie's groan and clanking of boots and soon enough, he sees jennie walking away from the alley.
that's the real story. when jennie found out that taehyung knew about it, she wouldn't stop crying.
jennie will run back to yoongi, crying on his arms. screaming how broken her life will be if taehyung will let her go. sobbing the words she wants to say to taehyung.
and yoongi will just listen to her. he wants to punch taehyung in the gut until he'll have his conscience back.
but, again, he has no rights.
hence, yoongi stayed beside jennie, patting her head and calming her down.
although inside of him, he's hurting. for jennie. for taehyung. and for himself.
"taehyung hear me out please! please i beg you--"
"get lost, jennie."
"aniyo! jebal just hear--"
"i don't want your explanation."
"tae-tae--"
"stop. you sound like a mocking, dying, fish when you say my name like that."
"annyeong, kim jennie."
yoongi leans on the cafe wall as he hears every word the couple said. his hands are curled into fists. his blood boils about all those words taehyung said.
did he just do that to a precious girl like jennie?
did he just,
let her go, that easily?
he was glaring at taehyung's back when he heard a thud. he adverts his gaze back to jennie and sees her on the ground, crying.
yoongi couldn't take it anymore as he runs closer to her. "jennie, get up," he says. jennie didn't listen as her hand reached for taehyung, her mouth is tied up that only her sobs come out of it. yoongi stares at jennie.
"taehyung," she mutters.
yoongi's orbs soften.
when will it be me, jennie?
-
"taehyung!" yoongi watches how jennie knocks on taehyung's apartment. she's not wearing her usual self, she's wearing something dull and lifeless.
this is not kim jennie.
because she lost her light.
and that's taehyung.
"taehyung i know you're there, please listen to me." she begs. yoongi hates it when jennie begs. she doesn't deserve that.
yoongi crosses his arms, "jennie, let's go." he says but once again, jennie ignores him.
as always.
"taehyung-ah, babe? i know you're listening."
"j-jen jen didn't mean it."
yoongi looks away from jennie and then he catches a glimpse of taehyung on his apartment window. he's also crying.
he diverts his gaze back to jennie.
"l-listen to jen jen please? open the door." jennie falls down once again, yoongi walks closer to her. this time, he didn't hesitate to hug her.
even though she's begging for somebody else.
yoongi is always there. but did jennie see him? no.
she's too busy loving someone else.
but despite that, he tried to make her happy at all costs.
"can you stop licking the ice cream like you're going to torture it?"
"kim taehyung! that guy! he's not even jealous!"
"so that's why you called, for you to throw your childish tantrums at me?"
i thought you called cause you want to hang out with me. yoongi keeps his thoughts in his mind.
"you're my friend that's your purpose."
yoongi feels as if he got hit in the chest. so he's just a friend. a friend who keeps on caring and loving her until the end of time.
yoongi suffers from a ton of heartbreaks but for him, this is the most painful one.
cause he knew he could take jennie away but he chose not to because she will be happier with taehyung.
"i just missed him. a lot. i miss the way he smiles, the way he brings me back to life, and the way he said he loves me."
yoongi grips harder onto the spoon he's holding. nothing hurts more than her words.
"i just can't forget about him, yoongi. i don't know but everything just, everything comes back to him."
yoongi drops his spoon and looks at jennie seriously. "jennie, you do remember that, that guy cheated on you. so stop with your shits and move on."
he didn't mean it. yoongi didn't mean to say those words. for the first time, his feelings slip away from his heart and out of his mouth.
and before he goes noticed, jennie speaks. "i know he cheated but d-deep down--" yoongi gulps, knowing what she is about to say.
but he likes to be dumb. "deep down what?"
but jennie only smiles. "nothing."
sometimes, yoongi feels bad for taehyung. about the stereotypes he's receiving because he cheated. what they didn't know is that he's only immature and also a human.
but jennie being accidentally kissed by someone is not an excuse for cheating.
yoongi hates the way taehyung and jennie keep their backs away from them when in reality they just want each other close.
so, with a decided mind, yoongi pushed jennie to confess to taehyung.
yoongles :
if you really want to move on,
you shouldn't have done this in the first place
and tagged me along like taehyung's feelings are a fucking playdate.
yoongles :
and second of all that,
stop being immature.
both of you, istg
y'all be like couples who still love each other : /
with ever letter he types, yoongi crumbled.
it's dumb, really. it's dumb because he was helping jennie to be with taehyung again.
and just like what jennie said, he's just his friend.
that's his purpose.
but, sometimes, jennie made him feel like he's something else to her.
jennie16 ; 16 minutes ago
at - peppa's ice cream shop.
"i'd like to have another
date with you😯💕 @yoongles"
yes, even though, it's fake. even though he's the only one enjoying their time. even though he's the only one waiting for something to happen to the both of them.
yoongi raises his head from the steering wheel. his eyes are now watery and red. he covers his mouth, banging the wheel by the use of his other hand.
why is it so hard to forget someone?
why is it so hard to keep your feelings in for someone who already belonged to someone else?
yoongi sobs quietly. and his personality melts. his facade melts. and his feelings drain his whole body.
this is his peak. his heart is now aching. falling.
letting go hurts the most. letting go kills. letting go hurts.
but yoongi has to do that.
he has to sacrifice.
and to achieve that, it took him endless nights of crying. countless times of pretending. and mindlessly thinking about her.
and yoongi knows that it's better to let jennie go,
than to hold onto her more.
author's :
weLLO are y'all jungshookt? noT? okAy
ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!!!!!!!!♡♡