Kim Namjoon's POV
Kim Namjoon. You may or may not have been a fan of this name, even if you are an army.
Our official fanchant starts with my name Kim Namjoon. Not because I'm the oldest member or the most famous one, it's because I am the Leader of this group.
Sometimes I think that's the only recognition I have, that's how I introduced myself in that interview with an American anchor who came Korea just to interview us,
"Hi, I am Kim Namjoon, the leader of this group and kind of spokesperson for BTS."
I didn't want to notice this but I secretly saw how a very few people clapped when I introduced myself and the crowd cheered and screamed when others introduced themselves.
Of course I continued to smile.
"Next question, who in BTS is the most popular with girls. "
"JUNGKOOK"
"V"
"SUGA"
"JIMIN"
"TAEHYUNG "
"WORLDWIDE HANDSOME "
"CHIMCHIM"
"JHOPEEEEEE"
"JUNGKOOK"
"YOONGI"
"JIN"
I heard the fans screaming, I laughed along with the anchor seeing how the other members are giving finger hearts to the fangirls.
No it didn't hurt me to not hear my name. I was used to it since debut.
They asked us many other questions which I kept translating to my members and translating back their replies to the anchor.
That's how I always participated in the interviews.
Just like a Translator.
After completing the interview, we sat in our car and proceeded to the next destination.
"Jungkook you know, there was a girl doing finger hearts at me and when I did the same to her, she fell down", Jimin shared with us and all started to laugh.
I laughed with them listening all the happenings and the conversations between the armys and other members.
I had no other option other than listening and laughing. I had no story to tell.
After the interview we went to a fan meeting. Of course we all were excited to see all the fans.
The smile in their faces because of us gave me a reason to live a life too.
We sat in our respective seats and waited for armys to come in line and have conversation with us.
I sat at the start followed by Jhope, Jungkook, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jin.
All the fans came in a line and started having conversations with me. Some gave me letters with their messages on it and some gave me headbands to wear.
Next army came, "Hi my name is Mi Sah". I smiled at her and wrote a short message for her starting with her name and ending the message with my signature.
When I lifted my head up to talk to her, I could see her looking towards her right at Jhope. She again looked at me and smiled and we had a small conversation but I couldn't help notice her glancing sideways every now and then waiting desperately for the line to move on.
"Hi Jhope, I am Mi Sah, I am your biggest fan. You're my bias, I love you so much. You look so stunning in this outfit and I loved your EGO mv and......... " she continued talking to Jhope while he was writing her a message with a smile in his face.
I smiled seeing her happy.
This continued and another girl came in front of me.
"Namjoon, Hi I am a big fan of yours, all your singles are amazing. I love them all. "
A genuine smile appeared on my face. Someone likes my music. Someone likes me.
"Thank you so much for the appreciation. Which one of my singles is your favorite, I can write a line of that song in this copy", I answered with a smile eagerly to know which of my songs were her favorite.
"Ah-Every song is my favorite, you can write that one.... Ahh",the smile slowly disappeared from my face and I waited for her response.
"What was it called, the one solo he had in the wings album, ughh why did I even lie",she mumbled slowly but I could hear every single word she said.
"No worries, it's okay sometimes I even forget the simplest things", I laughed and she laughed along with me.
"Actually I'm real good but a little uncomfortable", I wrote the lyric of my song Persona and I did my signature in the next page.
She smiled and moved towards Jhope and I could see how she bought him a cute stuff toy and she was giggling while talking to him.
Its okay. It's going to be fine.
Just Smile. Keep Smiling.
I received many letters from the fans and I will read every letter. Atleast I would try to. They have written it to me and I appreciate their efforts.
The fan meeting soon ended and we were in the hall with the staff members collecting all the gifts and arranging them separately.
I really hated myself to compare my single small bag of gifts with other members bag which were quite big as well as they had atleast two of them each.
Why am I like this?
It's felt really nasty to compare myself with other members.
The members would hate me if they know about all this comparison. They would think I am a low-minded person and I envy them.
I don't envy them. I can never do that. They are my family.
Get yourself together Namjoon.
The gifts were sent to another car but I kept some letters with myself so that I could read them in the car and avoid other members explaining how much fun it was for them.
We all sat in the car and we moved towards our apartment. We all have our own apartment but we like to live in a single one.
I started reading letters one by one while the members talked about the fan meeting.
Some wrote how much they love me.
Some told me to change my hairstyle to the previous one since I looked cute in that hairstyle.
Another fan wrote me how she loved that line "I don't know nanmolla"
I laughed while reading it. Someone even drew me a cute sketch of koya and that was adorable.
I couldn't stop smiling after seeing that sketch.
"Oh, our Namjoon is so engrossed in reading all these letters. Wow, I am so jealous of you Joon", Jin who sat beside me teased.
What an Irony. He is jealous of me.
"Hyung read one of the letters aloud. We also want to know what the lovely armys have written to you", Jimin exclaimed.
I laughed, "Okay I will read one for you."
I opened another letter and read out loud for the other six to hear.
"Hey Namjoon, I can't believe I am writing this letter to you and hopefully if God graces me his blessings you would read this one.
I have written a short poem for you, I hope you like it.
Thoughts of you surround me.
You're the beating of my heart.
The love you give defines me.
My life is no longer dark.
You give your hand so sweetly.
I am lost if you're away.
You have me so completely.
I cherish you everyday.
That's it, I hope you are reading this and if you are, thank you so much for making me smile.
Your's lovingly,
Jun Soorae."
After I read the letter loud I could only hear the members screaming around me and teasing me about that.
Atleast something good happened today and I felt good after reading that.
"Your fans are as intellectual as you Namjoon.", Hoseok hyung teased me.
"Wow hyung you receive such cute letters, you need to read another one aloud please", Jungkook told me from behind, I denied but everyone wanted the same.
I secretly looked through the letters to find something long since many of the letters were only one-liners or two-liners.
I didn't complaint about it. Don't misunderstand, I am happy that atleast armys had time to write a letter for me.
"Why are you taking so much time, give me one I will read it aloud", Jin who sat beside me picked a random letter and started reading that aloud.
"Hey Kim Namjoon,
I was writing a sweet letter to every other member so I thought of writing one for you too.
I just want to tell you how much you are.... " Jin stopped reading aloud and silently kept reading. Everyone looked towards him.
"Hyung read forward, we are waiting", yoongi said with a gummy smile.
Jin looked towards me and smiled but I could say it was more of a fake smile.
"I just want to tell you how much you are handsome. I like you so much and I love your sexy brain too. "
Jin completed and everyone laughed along after listening to that words. But I could hear him faking his laugh because I was too much habituated to his windshield wiper laugh and now I could see him trying to hide that letter behind the car couch.
Everyone started gossiping again after teasing me for sometime and Jin got engrossed in his argument with Jungkook.
At that time I snatched the letter which was still in Jin's hand and he was trying effortlessly to hide it somewhere.
"Namjoon, give that to me. "
"Why, she wrote this letter to me so I should keep that right. "
"Okay keep that but why are you opening it again, I read that to you aloud didn't I? "
"Yes you did but I still want to read that again. "
Jin snatched the letter again from me and tried to throw it away but I caught it in time.
" Please stop it hyung. I know whatever you read was not written in here because you are the only one who tells me how sexy my brain is. No one other than you would do that. I just wanted to know what actually is written."
" If I wanted you to know what is written, I wouldn't have lied to you pabo. "
He tried to snatch it again but I gave him a stern look.
He stopped snatching but kept giving me a sad look which told me not to read that.
I slowly opened the letter which was now crumbled.
"Hey Kim Namjoon,
I was writing a sweet letter to every other member so I thought of writing one for you too.
I just want to tell you how much you are ugly that I literally have to skip some of the music video timings so that I don't see you.
Because of you BTS has so many haters around the world. Only if BTS had only 6 members excluding you, they would have reached much bigger heights than they are now solely because of you.
You know right you are a black spot to BTS. Please get out of the group and di......"
I was going to read further when Jin snatched the paper again and tore it into pieces.
"Ouch! That hurts hyung", I fake laughed looking at Jin.
"Joon, you know right, you are the heart of BTS. Without you we are nothing. Forget about that letter. It was just a random hater trying to find a purpose to live her life."
All these years I have experted myself in a skill I was going to apply now.
I smiled.
Hello my lovelies, I know I am new in writing FFS and I am not getting a single view till now but it's ok it will take time and let's see how much you like it