————— 19 days remaining ————— Friday, January 12th, 11:14 pm
Status 1: stage 6 - Rouge
Status 2: stage 6 - Periwinkle
~~~
-Zak's POV-
Badboyhalo (@Saintsofgames):
Face reveals! Skeppy, A6D and I will be live in 1 hour! @_@
No matter how many times I stare at that tweet, I can't quite believe it's happening. Can't believe Bad finally came around to the idea. Not only are we doing a face reveal for the fans, we're doing it for each other. A6d and I still don't know what Bad looks like, and this'll be the first time we find out.
And we're doing it live.
That was my idea. I couldn't face Bad without the cameras, my feelings would go crazy. There's no way I'd be able to do that anymore, I'd say something I don't want to. Now I just have to keep my hanahaki under control. Oh, and my inevitable chest pains that are already here.
Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
How the hell am I gonna manage this...
Maybe that's what I have to do. Learning to manage it may be the next step. That's not how hanahaki works, but this hanahaki is different. If I really am stuck with it forever like the spirit suggested, I may as well learn to get used to it. Avoiding Bad forever isn't something I'm prepared to do, especially if my bond with Darryl wears thin over this new information.
I haven't yet told Darryl about what the spirit said. If I'm stuck to those books forever, likelihood is that he is too. I'm not sure if I can live with myself knowing that I've inflicted this lifelong burden upon him. He's been the first and only real friend I've had since moving here. Losing him isn't something I'm prepared to do either.
But I'm not sure I'm the one who can make that choice.
Darryl will do one of two things. Yell at me and never talk to me ever again, or claim I'm wrong and attempt to persuade me that there is a way and we'll find it together. Except, I know which option it'll be, and that makes it worse. Darryl is too nice. He's too perfect.
Is it bad if I wish it was option one? That I never want to see him again because I don't want to feel the suffocation of guilt every time I look him in the eyes?
Those beautiful emerald eyes...
The buzz of my phone ringing snaps me out of my daydream. I grab it off my desk, not bothering to check who it is as I click accept and hold it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Zak. Um..." The familiar French accent floods my ears, informing me of who's on the other end. "Vincent? You alright?"
There's silence for a string of seconds, so dragged out that I pull my phone away from my ear to check the call didn't end. "Uh... hello?"
"Hi um... Zak... I..." he trails off, taking another few seconds to think. "Vin what is it? Are you nervous about the face reveal?"
"No no! Not at all!" His answer is rushed, but sounds convincing. "Alright, then what?"
Even more silence.
"Zak I..." my patience grows thin. I don't want to rush him as this is clearly pretty important, but I really need to set up for the recording. "What Vincent?"
"I told Bad!" Yelled, a gasp from the other end as the words flood out of his mouth in a tidal wave of confessions. I blink a couple times, staring blankly at the wall as I try to process if Vincent really just said what I thought he did. "You did what..." I ask quietly.
"I told him. I'm sorry Zak, but I had to. I'm worried your condition is getting unbearable. It'll kill you if you don't do something yourself. So I told him."
I just listen, staring blankly at my computer in front of me. He told him. He knows. "What did you tell him..." I mutter.
"I didn't tell him about the book. I just said it as plainly as possible. 'Skeppy has been avoiding you because he has hanahaki, for you'. That's all I said."
My phones slides out of my hand, falling onto the floor below me. The dull 'thud' as it hits the ground is the only sound, echoing around my bedroom before it's once more filled with empty silence.
"What did he say..." I can't raise my voice to yell, there's nothing in me. My heart is racing, the pain in my chest so bad it's thrumming in my ears.
He knows... he fucking knows...
The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth, forcing me to snap out of my daze and grab the trash can. The wave of blood and petals is the worst I've ever seen. They're no longer just clusters of petals, they're full flower heads. Too small to choke me still, but not far off doing so. Out of the corner of my eye I watch my notebook flash a darker red and the front cover change once more.
The number is 6.
~~~
-Darryl's POV-
This is the day. Half an hour remaining. I check my stream setup for maybe the fourteenth time, checking my webcam is recording. I bring the webcam's recording into view on my main monitor, dragging it across the screen and opening it into the full image.
It's like looking in the mirror. I'm met with myself, smiling faintly back at me. My test recording software runs in the background, but I'm drawn to my face.
My face, that over a thousand people are going to see live. Two of those people being two of my closest friends. A6d, who I haven't known for long, but feel like I've known for years. The French server owner, as Skeppy would refer to him as. Skeppy, my best friend. Who I've known for only a bit over a year but felt like I've known a century. The trolly, happy, smiling muffin that he is.
Who also has a crush on me.
I still can't believe it. Part of me thinks that A6d was lying, that this is one of Skeppy's staged jokes. It'd be a sick joke if it was, which is what leads me to thinking otherwise. Skeppy wouldn't mess with people's feelings, wouldn't use something so serious for one of his pranks. He genuinely took a few days off, which leads me to believe it was serious. He avoided me, which isn't something he's ever done. All signs point to A6d telling the truth.
But I really hope he's lying.
To know I've put him through that pain fills me with guilt. It hurts, like I'm the one dealing with the problems. That's two people I love suffering.
Love is a hard word. To 'love' someone and to truly love someone are two different things. I love Skeppy, but only in a best friend sort of way. That's going to kill him. And I love Zak, in a more than just best friends sort of way.
That's going to kill me.
The thought of Zak makes me feel sick. It's awful, how my stomach fills with butterflies, my lungs with flowers, and my throat with blood. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to go before it kills me. Then I'm leaving Zak here all alone, left to figure out the notebooks by himself.
That's if he doesn't die first.
Slowly, I trudge to my bathroom, throwing up the dumb blue flowers. It only feels fitting that it's be blue roses after how we met. I have Zak the leftover blue roses as he said he loved them so much. That's how I knew, instantly, that I loved him. It was too easy.
When I return to my room, the notebook is glowing a darker shade of blue. They match the colour of the petals, the petals that have now formed full flower heads. I can't have long left. The notebook flashes a darker blue, editing the front of the notebook as it does after the hanahaki gets dramatically worse. The number has changed, just as it does when the notebook flashes like that.
The number is 6.
Gets dramatically worse...
The hanahaki is linked to those numbers. They have something to do with it. Every time they change, it's after I've thrown up more petals. There's got to be a reason why.
The information updates with those numbers too. I flip open the book, checking the status of the note on the inside cover.
'————— 19 days remaining ————— Friday, January 12th, 11:37 pm
Status 1: stage 6 - Rouge
Status 2: stage 6 - Periwinkle'
Strange. When I checked about ten minutes ago, status two said 'stage 5'. There was a different word beside it too.
Hold on...
Stage 6. I flip over the book, checking the new number on the front cover. Number 6.
My phone is laying on the desk beside me, so I reach over and grab it. I open google, searching in the word that comes up beside the new number.
'Periwinkle'.
The first results to come up are a flower. I knew this would be the case, so I scroll through further. One of the bars at the top shows the option 'colour', so I click on it. The results load, showing me a certain shade of blue. A familiar shade of blue. The same colour of blue as the petals I just threw up. I search in 'rouge', my images filled with a deep red. Just a little darker than the colour Zak's notebook glowed last time I saw him.
So Zak throws up red flowers...
I get it.
The statuses represent two people. Status one is Zak, status two is me. The stages are the progression of our hanahaki. When the number changes, we get closer to death. We progress to a later stage of the hanahaki. The flowers deepen to a different shade of whichever colour flower we throw up. A darker blue for me, a darker red for him. The colour is indicated by the word next to it. There's just a few things that don't make sense here.
Why does the colour darken? Normal hanahaki doesn't do that...
And how many stages are there? How long do we have left?
What if the final stage is stage seven?
...
~~~
-Zak's POV-
"Hi! Hi hi hi!" I wave my hands frantically in greeting as I watch my chat explode about seeing my face for the first time. We all decided to start our own streams separately, allowing our viewers to see us first before we all see each other.
I feel sick. The chat is freaking out, mostly full of compliments that I look nice, which is relieving. I just hope Bad thinks the same.
Holy shit my crush is gonna see my face...
Bad is gonna see my face!
What if he thinks I'm ugly?
Oh my god oh my god oh my god...
Zak you're being ridiculous...
I laugh it off, smiling brightly into my facecam. This doesn't feel right. It's strange to know they can see my face. I have my stream running on one of my offside monitors, just to make sure everything is going alright. If I really wanted to, I could go check Bad's stream and see his face.
But I won't. I really, really want to, but I won't.
It won't end well. My hanahaki will go crazy, I'll end up puking everywhere and it'll all be a mess. That's not how i need this to go. This is why I made Vincent come drag us into the main calls when he's ready. Our face cams are all linked up so they should all show on everyone's stream instantly after we connect. Vincent said he'd drag us both in at the same time.
"Yes hi! I'm Skeppy, aka Zak. Now you all know my name, and what my face looks like!" I frame my face with my hands, pouting into the camera and giggling. My eyes drift back to the chat, and ideas through some of the comments. "Where's Bad and A6d? Oh they'll be here in a sec. you'll get to see them as soon as I do."
"Yes I met A6d in person for the first time a week ago. He came over to mine and stayed for a few days. I know what his name is, but not Bad's. I'm excited to see him for the first time!"
I giggle at a few of the comments, trying my best to act naturally. Facecam can't be that hard. It's just a little unnerving to know that there's 2,347 people who are able to see my face and my every move live.
And that my crush is about to discover what I look like.
And I'm trying really hard not to puke.
The pain is much harder to push back than the flowers. My chest hurts badly. I can feel the warmth of flowing blood spilling through my fresh bandages. Normally I'm awful at staying on top of my wounds, but this time I made sure to take extra precautions.
My chest is wrapped in so many bandages, so tight that I'm almost suffocating. There's probably about six gauzes over the wound itself, but the blood still rushes through it like there's nothing there. It's like acid.
I made sure to wear a black hoodie, the only one I own being Darryl's. Technically own, he's let me keep it. A vague flashback to the incident at the coffee shop crosses my mind. It doesn't matter I'm wearing his hoodie again, he's not going to see this time.
The comfort of just wearing his hoodie is suffocating. It hurts my brain, and my confused heart. I'm not supposed to love Darryl. It's not right.
Oh but it feels so right...
I hate it.
I hate that he's so attractive.
I hate that he's so friendly.
I hate that just wearing his hoodie can comfort me.
I hate that I feel safe around him.
I hate that I love spending time with him.
I hate that I blush every time he does something cute.
I hate that I miss him when he's gone.
I hate that I crave his touch.
I hate that I want to stay wrapped in his arms for eternity.
I hate that I want to kiss him.
I hate that I love him.
I hate that I can't.
"Oh um- sorry about that guys! I must've zoned out there for a sec..."
I blush profusely looking away from the camera in embarrassment. My stupid daydreams always mess up things.
Vincent's name pops up in the corner of my screen. "Hey! Bad is ready, can I drag you in?"
I type back a quick response, smiling as brightly as I can to the stream. "It's happening guys! I'm so excited!" My chest bursts with a sudden stab of pain, and I hold my hand over it. I forcefully giggle at something in chat, using it as an excuse to bite my hoodie. Instead of stifling a laugh, I'm stifling a scream. I wish I was laughing, wish I was enjoying this.
Another message from Vin pops up. "Alright! I'll drag you both in at the same time!"
My screen fades, the teamspeak user message playing in the background as I'm dragged in to Vincent's call. The option to use video appears, so I click accept and wait for the screen to load.
I shut off my own facecam on stream, pretending it's the teamspeak transferring. Once I'm sure my camera disappears off stream, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The audio connects, and I hear the familiar 'user joined your channel' as Vin drags Bad in.
Here goes nothing...
~~~
-Darryl's POV-
The call connects, and I hold my breath. Our videos take a second to sync, and do so just out a little. I end up seeing A6d first. He looks a little older than I'd imagine, maybe even older than me. The beard makes him look more mature.
"Hi!" I wave, smiling awkwardly as our videos sync. A6d isn't focusing on the video, instead he's trying to watch a cat in the background.
"Ian! Now is not the time!" My audio must come through on a delay while it syncs, as he suddenly smiles, still looking away from the screen. "Oh hi! Sorry about my cat stream. I'm Vincent, nice to meet you Bad!"
Vincent. It suits him well.
"Your name suits you! Very French." Vincent rolls his eyes, still watching his cat, who I presume must be Ian. "Nice to meet you I guess Vincent, I'm D-"
"Darryl..."
I hear my name as the other video connects, cutting me off. I know exactly who speaks, and my heart stops. The next few minutes is a blur.
I turn to see none other than Zak, staring back at me. "Zak?!" I choke out his name, staring in disbelief.
"IT'S YOU?!"
We make eye contact for a second before it happens. Flowers, forming above Zak's head. The petals create red roses, mixing together as blue ones appear. I watch as a flower crown of blue and red roses forms around Zak's head. It floats a little above him, just like a halo.
I look on the stream to see an identical crown around my own head. The flower crown-halos glow, purple sparkles surrounding the flowers. I stare blankly at Zak, who's staring just as blankly at me as I try to process what's going on.
I've seen this before. When crushes return their feelings for one another, flower crowns of the hanahaki flowers bloom around their heads. Except, normally only one person has the hanahaki, so the flowers are only that of the crush's favourite. But now they're made of two types of flowers: Zak's favourite, blue roses, and mine, red roses. Now I know who Zak's lover is.
Me.
Zak, who is actually Skeppy, has had hanahaki for me. My two favourite people are actually the same person after all. God they sound the same... how did I not notice?!
We didn't confess feelings, except, we sort of have. The hanahaki now knows who we really are. The hanahaki was never one sided.
I've loved Skeppy this whole time.
Zak has loved me this whole time.
We're not going to die after all.
The notebook in the corner glows violently. It's flashing between blue, red and purple, as if it's not sure what to do. I leave it be, returning my attention the the stream. Vincent's staring dumbfounded at the camera. "So I was right..." he whispers in shock, eyes wide. Chat is going crazy.
>HANAHAKI! HANAHAKI!
>WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
>THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!
>OH MY GOD!!
>WE WERE RIGHT!
>SKEPHALO!
The chat floods with Skephalo chanting. They were right, they were actually right all along. They knew even before we did.
My attention turns back to Skeppy, Zak. He looks beautiful. He's gotten over the initial shock, smiling brightly into the camera. His chocolate eyes reflect the sparkles like stars. He's gorgeous. The halo around his head glows brightly, almost as brightly as him. He looks like an angel.
My angel.
The flowers over my own head start fading to purple, a perfect mix between our two colours. My notebook stops glowing, the once black cover now an identical shade of purple. Zak's flowers remain red and blue, the sparkles slowly fading.
Then it stops.
The flowers over Zak's head suddenly turn black, withering and dying. Thorns encase the flowers, destroying the petals as the light disappears. Zak's eyes widen, his hands going straight to his chest. His eyes cloud over as he suddenly collapses, falling backwards out of his chair. I scream as he falls, shock setting in as I watch the flowers above my own head turn black and disappear.
"VINCENT STOP THE STREAM!" I scream as Zak hits the floor, hitting straight into the notebook on the ground behind him. His head hits the corner of his bed, blood spilling out of it in a steady stream. He lays unconsciously, hands gripping over his chest, his heart.
Vincent alerts me he's shut off all 3 streams from the main teamspeak, shutting off the facecams with it. I grab my notebook, shoving it in my bag and racing to my feet. My headphones are pulled out, playing the teamspeak audio to my room. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" Vincent shrieks, watching the lifeless Zak on the floor.
"I'm going there I'm going!" I pull out my phone, dialling 911 for an ambulance. I send them straight to Zak's, knowing I may not get there in time. He lives 25 minutes away.
Vincent just screams, unable to do anything. I go to check one more time, praying Zak has moved, only to find him still collapsed on the floor. The blood is spilling from his head at an alarming rate. Then my attention drags to one other thing before I leave. The notebook poking out from just under his lifeless corse. The whole thing is one colour. The cover, his name, the glowing light, everything.
Black, just like the roses.
We should've listened.
~~~
[ROLL THE CREDITS]
Joking! 😂
Can you imagine if I ended it here lol. We're not done yet...