Standing on the beach under the blissful night sky with his toes buried deep within the moist sand, Jeongguk stared ahead of him.
The calming sounds of the waves hitting the rocks, the feeling of the water washing upwards, tickling him, as it slowly encircled around his feet and wetted him, caused the utter edge of his lips to tug up in a smile.
Closing his eyes and tilting his face up towards the stars, he inhaled deeply, air so fresh and cold he felt anew.
This was true, inner peace.
It was always like this. Every day, he came to the beach to relax. He felt all his worries and negative thoughts drain out of him as he stood there. As if the waves of the water dragged his problems into the deep back along with them, taking them away from him.
Whether it be during the day or in the silent hours of night, it was always something that calmed him.
If someone were to ask, he definitely preferred those silent hours. The stars shining in the dark, like they lit up his world.
His own, rather dark world, was far from perfect. After he came out to his parents, he got kicked out of the house without a single word, like his childhood never mattered to them at all.
"You disgust us! You are a disgrace to our family, how dare you to do this to us!?"
That, would forever be imprinted on his mind. The door had been slammed shut on his face right after.
All of their contact had been cut off immediately. The money they helped him with, for example, his studies or even the food they bought for him, gone.
From then on, he had to do it on his own. It didn't matter he was just an eighteen year old boy.
With a small job as a rooky photographer, he could barely afford the cheapest apartment in the street that was the closest to the beach.
That was the only, absolute must for him. No matter how crappy the apartment looked, or how he ignores the way he sometimes has to skip meals in order to afford his monthly rent, it had to be near the water. The sound of the waves had to be audible. Otherwise, he couldn't get sleep at all.
Whenever Jeongguk strolled along the shoreline he felt free. It was like every time an enormous weight got lifted off his shoulders.
Sadly, the weight came crashing back down and returned to him the moment he stepped foot in his apartment.
He felt an undescribable connection to the sea. Oddly, the feeling of not being alone was always with him whenever he stared at the unknown dark depths.
To some people, that feeling was labelled as 'Thalassophobia.'
To him, it was utterly comforting. He didn't need four walls and a roof above of his head in order to feel at home.
No, standing right there in the open, with a soft, refreshing breeze brushing past him─ he felt better than high, claustrophobia-causing brickwalls could ever make him feel.
In a way, it felt like something was hidden deep down, in the unknown waters. Considering the utmost peace it brought him, he liked to think it was something that understood his worries. Something that would always be there for him.
Those were all just feelings; after all, he was highly aware that there was nothing more to be found in the sea other than fishes and innocent creatures from various of sizes. Perhaps, sadly, a piece of plastic here and there. But, there wasn't actually something out there that took over his doubts and erased them for him.
He knew that. Yet, that feeling never disappeared.
Then there were the myths, of course. Those stories all over the internet and written down in books.
Some claimed that it was real, that they existed.
And with 'they,' Jeongguk had found himself engrossed in tales of half fish- half human beings.
Most declared those people to be insane, absolutely foolish to believe some fairytale creatures were swimming around in this world.
"Avert your eyes from those books and look up, back into actuality you must get. There are no such living entities swimming around in our backyard."
That's what half of them claims, wanting to roll their eyes at the mere consideration to differ.
Then there's the other half, gladly believing in such things. Jeongguk considered himself to be part of that.
Whenever he was free from his work duties, he captured tons of pictures of the sea, printed them out and stuck them to his bedroom walls.
Jeongguk takes great joy in believing in the opposite of reality; the thought of something new, an unfound and hidden world, caused sparks to course through his veins. It gave him a rush, a temporary way out of his depressing thoughts.
His life was frustratingly simple. Every day was the same, over and over again. But those myths kept him busy, entertaining him by consuming every ounce of his attention span, triggering his philosophical mind.
Since he didn't have many people to consider friends, he wasn't occupying himself by going out either. That only gave his imagination more time to think about his fantasies.
His closest and pretty much only friend, was the astounding guy named Kim Seokjin.
The eighteen-year-old met the said guy right after he got kicked out of his parents' house. Standing on the road with his suitcase, shivering from the cold of the night, an unknown, yet what soon appeared to be a very nice and social guy walked up to him to give him his jacket.
That nice guy introduced himself as Kim Seokjin, a twenty-year-old who was living the happy single life, not bothering about anyone who asked him out -which happened quite often- since he wanted to focus on himself first.
Jeongguk felt an instant connection to Seokjin. He was safe, feeling one hundred percent welcome. He was the very first friend he had made in years, since he had always been keen on putting his grades above friendships so his future would be a lot more determined, as it would have a stable fundament to build up on.
Of course Jeongguk couldn't avoid the obvious question "Do you want to tell me what happened?" after Seokjin caught him standing there, having no clue on what to do with tears cascading down his rosy cheeks and red nose.
He had explained to him every single thing, not seeming to be able to stop oversharing details to the man since he finally was able to pour it all out.
He quickly learned that Seokjin is a very compassionate and understanding guy. The both of them had stood there for hours, talking in the middle of the freezing night. Seokjin had comforted him until he felt remotely okay again, he couldn't possibly have been more grateful. Especially, once he had offered a safe humble abode, insisting that Jeongguk should come with him.
He knew he shouldn't; Jeongguk really knew. Not that Seokjin was a creep who gave off eerie vibes─ but because of the fact that he couldn't possibly live off of him.
Eventually, he had agreed to come with him regardless. He went through his options, but since he realised that he didn't have any and Seokjin was literally his only hope, he had followed suit.
He certainly was in no possession of money to afford even the cheapest form of a hotel and he had no other place to go to. So instead of declining the warm offer, he thanked his newly made friend a thousand times -he hasn't stopped doing so up until today- telling him how much he appreciated it and that he was his hero. An absolute lifesaver.
He got to know the man more and more as time passed by and the two soon shared a very close, unbreakable bond. To Jeongguk, Seokjin was the stranger he never knew he needed but now couldn't possibly live without.
Knowing he couldn't stay at Seokjin's place forever no matter how much the guy insisted that it really wasn't a problem at all, he started looking around for other available options that were in his range.
Eventually, the tiny apartment he currently resides in, caught his eye. His saviour helped him move in and together they tried to make it as liveable as possible.
It wasn't much, but it was the best Jeongguk could muster. It was decent for one person. After all, he had a roof above his head and it was his own. He no longer had to feel guilty. It was an independent move that in his opinion, had to be made.
But that independent move soon appeared to be lonelier than he expected it would be. Missing the warmth of chattering, laughing and joking away with his friend, he now sat in a quiet room instead, with a clock that kept on ticking.
Even though he pretty much just turned into a legal adult, he already went through a lot, already having experienced quite the journey.
In one way it has put him tougher on his feet, knowing that whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
But on the contrary, every now and then he secretly wishes he was still at his parents' place, missing the way it used to be before he decided to open his mouth to let the truth come out. He regrets what he had done with his entire being, knowing that if he just kept his mouth shut, he'd still have a loving family.
The unconditional love Seokjin gives him made him shake his head. He is his family now. His actual family could never compare.
Another wave washed up shore and soaked Jeongguk's feet cold. He shuddered, taking a few steps back.
He shook off his depressing memories, pushing them deep down. Now he stood staring at the depths of the sea, the moonlight mesmerisingly reflecting on top of the dark water.
He slowly strolled along the shore, wanting to go stand on something a little higher up to have a better view.
The wet sand that swallowed around his feet made a satisfying sound whenever he took a step, the suction letting go with a plop only to repeat it.
He carefully climbed on top of a slightly slippery, giant rock, staring ahead of him. A now colder gush of wind went past him, indicating that the time had ticked by quicker than he realised.
The boy closed his eyes once more, enjoying the silence to the fullest. Even inside his own head, it had gone quiet.
He couldn't let that go unappreciated.
A faint splashing sound from the distance made him re-open his eyes. Squinting, he tried to see what it is, but the darkness made that an impossible job.
He swore he saw a tail that was way too big to belong to a fish, disappear back under the surface. Theoretically, it could've been anything. But for some reason, the myth he wanted to believe in was the first thing that came to his mind.
He waited, not sure what for─ perhaps there was a part of him that silently hoped to see it again, whatever it was.
Coming to the conclusion that it was already gone, Jeongguk looked down with a sigh. He wanted his believe-in to be confirmed by his own pair of brown orbs actually witnessing it. Otherwise, he was afraid he would start to feel foolish to believe his own fantasy-rich imagination.
As he stood there, an idea slowly creeped up in his mind. Not bothering to put his shoes back on -his feet were wet and dirty anyway- he ran all the way to his apartment, only to get a small plasticised piece of paper and a waterproof marker.
Since he was a photographer, he often had to come up with new, sometimes slightly challenging ideas. His most recent project had been making underwater photos, hence why he had those papers scattered around.
They were small, but he was in a hurry, so he granted himself not enough time to think about that. Making his way back to the rock, he sat down, thinking of what to write.
After a minute or two, he shrugged, a small smile dancing on his lips. He already let his imagination take over and wander to what he could possibly get out of this. He wasn't a fan of contributing to the plastic trash in the sea, but he figured that this one-time-thing tiny piece wouldn't really hurt, compared to what was already out there.
"Hi! I'm Jeongguk."
He wanted to put down more, but since the paper was so small he couldn't. It wouldn't fit, even if he flipped it over.
He nodded at himself in approval, squatting down and reaching his arm out.
He let go of it.
He stood back up, straightening his back and watched as the waves brought it farther and farther into the unknown, until he couldn't see it anymore.
Jeongguk knew it was useless. There was absolutely no point in doing this.
But, there was a part of him, that secretly believed. And so, he could only smile at the thought of something, or rather, someone, getting to read it.
He doubted his language was understandable to any other thing that wasn't entirely human.
But maybe, just maybe.
Life is full of surprises, no?
And even if it simply got lost somewhere without him gaining anything out of it, the night had been very satisfactory for him. After all, his previously tensed muscles have completely softened, along with the ray of troublesome thoughts.