Present Day
Its been a week since I finally ended things with Jasmine and Andre. It seemed everything was perfect..or so I thought. Zo and I have been spending a lot of time together, kissing, holding hands and going on a string of dates. We even went back to see Madam Simone for a lesson in Salsa, but I can't help the feeling of something being wrong. Not that I was a horn-dog or something, but why hasn't he tried to have sex with me? or at least 3rd base? My anxiety was starting to rise with each time are together and now I feel like I am jumping out of my skin.
"What's wrong baby?"
"I just...I don't even know how to say this without sounding...ungrateful."
"What's on your mind?"
We are at my place on my couch watching another movie. He had his hands around my waist, and I was feeling so good, but then realized by this time with another guy or girl I would've had sex at least 5 or 6 times. We've been dating for the better part of a month and he has not even tried to go past kissing and rubbing me over my clothes. This seems nuts. He's obviously a gentleman which is what every girl wants, but I am certainly not a virgin anymore and I wouldn't suspect he is...but maybe that's it. Maybe he is a virgin. Holy shit, but at 32?
"Why...um...how come you haven't tried to... have sex with me?"
This seems to give him pause enough that I start to think he didn't hear me or that he's actually a robot and finally ran of battery and has shut down.
"Zo?"
I twist out of his arms to look at him.
"Sorry, I just was thinking. In all honesty, I wasn't thinking about sex so I never tried to make a move on it or anything."
"Oh..." wow I don't know how to feel about this. I must not be good enough to have sex with.
We go back to watching the movie, I try not to cry. When the movie is over, I look to see that he has fallen asleep. I do my nightly checks turning lights off, making sure the door is locked. I get a blanket and put it over him. I go to the bathroom brush my teeth, take on of my toys and masturbate with tears in my eyes and go to sleep.
The next morning, I see a note on the bed from Zo.
"Sorry about last night. I was caught off guard. I'll have to tell you later when the time is right. Zo"
Great, the one good thing in my life vanished. I can never have anything good. Just like normal I get up and head to work, and suffer through another day. Usually I look forward to our lunch break conversations, but of course Zo never called. He never called the whole day. Part of me wanted to head to Dave's but I knew if I saw him there with out him calling all day would just hurt worse. I went straight back home and poured a heavy glass of whiskey. Fluffer came out of his dog house and sat with me on the couch.
"Just you and me boy, cheers."
I passed out after listening to Solomon Burke crooning "Cry to Me" over and over.
The next day, I get a call from Zo right before I head into work. Naturally I jumped on it.
"Zo?"
"Hi Jade." He says with shy tone.
"Hi."
"So can you come over tonight? I have something I would like to show you."
"Yea, sure."
"Okay. Well I hope you have a good day at work today and I'll see you tonight okay?"
"Okay. thank you and you too."
The most strangest conversation we've had thus far. We didn't even talk like that when were were strangers to each other. I really have fucked this up just by asking one question.
I go through out the day feeling nothing but anxiety. He didn't call for our lunch talk either so by the time I get off work, take a shower and change, I text him.
"Do you want me to come over now?"
"yea"
Great a one word answer. I head over to his place trying to calm down, but my heart was pounding. When I get over to his place, he let me in without a kiss, and it felt like torture.
I sit on his couch as if I haven't cuddled with him so many times on this very spot and waited for the impending doom.
"You asked me why I haven't tried to have sex with you."
"Yes." and I wanted to add, and clearly the thought repulsed you so much that you were stunned to silence, but I decided against it.
"There's a part of me that I don't share for many reasons. When I was younger trying to be horny teenager it still stung, but not as much because I always knew there would be another girl."
I am trying to follow, but I wish he would just say it.
"But when I went off to college, I couldn't take it anymore. The comments killed me too much. So I became celibate after my sophomore year."
"What comments? What do you mean?"
"I'm getting to that baby girl. I stayed celibate until I graduated with my bachelors. Then when I got my Master's, I tried to just date. Only one relationship lasted, but it ended up on bad terms. That relationship is part of the reason I moved back here. I wanted to start over. And I didn't want to go in deep with anyone until I knew for sure that I could trust them. I am not ashamed, but I am protective of myself. And dating you has been so easy, and comfortable and nice. I just wanted to keep going and not feel like things could go bad."
"So what is it? Is it that you don't want me in that way? I still don't understand, what comments? Are you impotent? Is it small, cause it certainly doesn't feel small when we kiss and I feel it against me."
"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down baby girl. Okay I'm sorry, I guess I am not explaining it all. It's just I feel like...fuck...I don't know how to say this without saying too much."
"Just tell me, because if you dont want me because I am so ugly and you think I probably look ugly naked just say it! rip off the bandaid please."
"What???...NO. I don't think any of that. Fuck fuck fuck, okay. "
He takes my hand and pulls me up from sitting on the couch to standing so that, he and I are almost looking each other in the eyes. He's taller, so not quite. And he speaks his next words in a slow syncopated rhythm.
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. I am the luckiest man to ever be dating you." He lifts my chin to his eyes even more.
"I was gonna wait because I wanted to wait until I trusted the woman or fell in love to know this about my body, but I know for a fact that I have fallen for you."
Without breaking eye contact he took out his dick simultaneously taking my hand to feel it. It felt normal so I didn't see what he was so worried about. Still looking at him in the eye
"There is nothing abnormal here so what are you-"
He guides my hand under his shaft, and then I felt something else. It felt like an opening with lips like mine. He guided my index and middle finger into the opening. I looked dead into his eyes.
"Wow, you..you have..."
"I am inter-sexed baby."
"Wow!"
"So you see why I am a little apprehensive when it comes to sex, and everything is so perfect between us I just didn't want-"
I could't believe he made me worry like this, I thought the absolute worse, but so what he has a penis and vagina. It just made me all the more horny, because I love both. I rushed to hush him with a kiss and wrapped my arms around him. He hesitated at first but then he then leaned into it. I pulled him onto the couch where he stood over me in a straddle. He gently stopped me.
"So, you're not freaked out...."
"No. In fact I'm so fucking turned on right now."
"Oh really? I would've thought you'd want to stop."
"Baby, I am just getting started!"