Painful Poem depression

I Must Be Lying

Sometimes I wish I could admit things
Even if it's all just a lie.
Sometimes I wish I could forget things,
But memories never die.
I let myself drown in insanity.
I can't find my personality.
A demon has taken over.
It's like I'm drunk but sober.
The world around me twists and turns.
My heart inside me bleeds and burns.
The people I thought I knew
Have turned against me, I had no clue
I can't remember the days or the past
But it doesn't matter, my days here won't last.
You see, I've got something on my mind
Something known as suicide,
A solution for the one I cannot find.
Just to put my life aside
A solution for the problem I cannot solve
When everything around me seems to dissolve.
Should I be a friend and care in return?
Or should my emotions simmer and burn?
Why does this even matter, really?
It's just stupid and silly.
I sit around as life continues.
My life is pointless, there is no use.
I'm tired of trying.
Yeah, I'm smiling,
But inside I'm dying.
I must be lying,