She waited inside her chamber and packed the belongings she wanted to take. Man Zui came to her again that night.
"I will have to leave," he said. The soldiers would soon realize the disappearance of their superior and find his corpse he had hidden by a creek. Then everyone would double their efforts to find him.
He Xiang grabbed onto his sleeves. "I'm leaving too."
The two people looked at each other; both carried their own sins, both carried uncertain futures. Man Zui understood the way she was looking at him; she did not just 'want to leave', she wanted to accompany him. He sighed and caressed her face, "As long as you want it... ."
"I want it." He Xiang smiled, "I want you and your burden. I don't care what you have done. For as long as you are willing to love me, I will love you." She touched her abdomen and lightly teased, wanting to make light of her anxiousness. "But you may not be able to have sons and daughters with me. As you've warned me before, I may not be able to be a mother."
He laughed against her ears, "I am a sinner and I shouldn't be a father."
She chuckled as well, "Then we are both sinners. We will just have each other and not let any unfortunate soul have us as their parents."
The women of Blossoming Fragrance were skillful in the art of make-up. He Xiang altered Man Zui's appearance; with his hunched posture, he looked nowhere similar to the posters.
Just before they were about to pass the border gate, they heard a weak coughing sound from a nearby bushes. He Xiang and Man Zui found a skinny young man with wounds on his body. With how the man was hiding away from the main path, anyone could tell, this person was also on the run. After helping him with water and food, the young man introduced himself as Xiao Yang, a slave who had escaped an illegal slave trader from the capital city.
He Xiang herself had been sold to Blossoming Fragrance as a child, so she was sympathetic towards Xiao Yang's plight. She gave him a set of clean clothes and altered his appearance slightly as well.
With forged papers, she presented their identities as a pair of husband and wife with her younger brother.
"We want to try our luck in Taishan," He Xiang smiled, stuffing a silver ingot into the guard's hands, "Our parents have died during the war between our country and Khorin, we just want to find a new start."
They passed the gate quite easily.
Perhaps it was their sinful past and their guilt, He Xiang and Man Zui always helped people wherever and whenever they could. They farmed a bit, took care of the sick a bit; after all, Man Zui had learnt about medicine during his time at Herbal Hall. Xiao Yang was more talent-less, but he was honest and always tried to please He Xiang and Man Zui.
He Xiang's opinion towards him was more favorable, thinking of him as her real brother after an occasion. At the time, she was feeling warm and rolled her pants onto the top of her thighs. Xiao Yang must have seen some of her tattoos then, he shyly asked, "He-jie... you... are you from Blossoming Fragrance?"
He Xiang laughed, not feeling the least ashamed of her past. What's done was done; her past had brought her to this day. Without it, she would not have met Man Zui. "Yes, are you looking down on me now that you know it?"
Xiao Yang hastily shook his head, "How can that be? I have a life debt towards Man-ge."
He Xiang thought it was weird for Xiao Yang to only mention Man Zui and not her, but she thought none of it. It was normal for a man to look up towards another man. Nevertheless, after that, Xiao Yang took more care of the both of them during their quest to find a place to settle.
When He Xiang visited the villages and towns along the rivers, she fell in love with the beauty of it.
When she arrived in Shuyi, she immediately bought a beautiful residence using her savings, close to a flowing creek. Normally, strangers like the three of them would not be able to settle down that quickly, but Man Zui managed to strike a friendship with the simple Local Magistrate. The paper-works and handover of the residence was done pretty quickly.
About one year after settling down, they had completely integrated with the idyllic life at Shuyi. No one else apart from Man Zui and Xiao Yang knew of He Xiang's colorful past, and she already made quite a few friends with the town's womenfolk. They even taught her their folk song, and she was quite fond of it. As an ex-courtesan, she had a beautiful singing voice. With her friends, they would laugh and sing by the river.
[Land loved by the gods; sky is the heaven.]
[Earth is where we rest; Wind guides our paths; Fire lights our passage; Water is timeless.]
[Water gives birth to everything; water ends everything.]
[Water knows all; water forgives all.]
[Memories from time immemorial, water holds record.]
[Memories from time immemorial, water bears witness.]
[Memories from time immemorial, water will not forget.]
With a loving man and a good brother by her side everyday, He Xiang thought the heavens had blessed her so much. She did not care if they were to do nothing throughout their lives and idly live on her money; she had saved all her life for this kind of precious moments, hadn't she?
Then Xiao Yang proposed to open a small tavern, between Xinlu city and Shuyi. A small tavern did not need any government's approval and Xiao Yang said it would do them good to help wary travelers by providing them refreshment and simple accommodation. Because He Xiang had grown fond of this young man, she spared a few silvers to get the tavern built. Soon, for a few sporadic weeks during colder seasons in autumn and winter, Man Zui and Xiao Yang would operate the tavern. When both men returned home, they would bring trinkets they bought from Xinlu City and some earnings.
He Xiang knew, despite not having said anything, Man Zui was quite proud for being able to earn a little for the household, thus she was truly happy for him and let the two men keep operating the tavern.
Time passed, the both of them were still as loving as the first time they had kissed each other. The heaven blessed them both and must have forgiven their past sins. Xiao Yang was a pretty good cook and was normally in charge of the family's meals.
One day, He Xiang was chatting with some women by the river. All of a sudden, she grew nauseous and practically vomited into the river. The women were initially scared out of their wits, then their faces grew hopeful. They all knew He Xiang and Man Zui had been a loving couple for more than two years and had not been blessed with a child.
The town's physician confirmed her pregnancy.
When Man Zui heard about it, he was dumbstruck. He put his hand on her barely-protruding belly and murmured, "No wonder I thought you've grown more plump lately." He was immediately bestowed by a couple of hits. Man Zui laughed and kissed her.
"Do you want this child?" His gaze was hopeful, He Xiang could not bear to hit him anymore. She nodded and gave him a beautiful smile.
"I thought I had been completely barren. My period had been irregular after my... last abortion. I didn't think I'd be given the chance to become a mother," she grabbed onto Xiao Yang's wrists, squeezing them in gratitude, "It must have been Xiao Yang's nutritious meals that has healed me. Thank you, Xiao Yang."
Xiao Yang hugged her in return, "He-jie. I am so happy for you. From now on, I will make sure you eat better than ever!"
The pregnancy was stable enough, but soon He Xiang's sleeps were laden with nightmares. In the nightmares, there were formless babies crying, calling after her.
"Ma... maa... ." Each cry was sadder and scarier than the last, each one of the babies clawed at her, clawed at her round belly, clawed to be held in her bosom and to live in her stomach once again.
She always woke up with a fright and immediately touched her stomach. Only after she felt a movement kicking from inside her, was she relieved.
The past was the past. She had aborted six fetus, thinking they were just lumps of flesh impeding her good days. They were just formless blood clots when she expelled them from her body.
But the child inside her... was alive and kicking.
She was a sinner. Maybe the heavens had not really forgiven her.
Man Zui noticed her unrest as well as her sleepless nights, but she kept saying it was because of her pregnancy. After all, a pregnant woman would sometimes be moody and restless.
Then the rumor started. It was merely about a month before her due date. She did not know who had first said it, the town was suddenly ripe with ghost rumors. More over, the ghosts were apparently babies. Knowing it had put a toll on her mind, Man Zui and Xiao Yang searched high and low, investigating eye witnesses. However, despite asking around, no one exactly knew who first said they had seen the ghosts. Everyone said, "'According to that person', 'according to this person'... ." The rumor grew merely in a few days, each person saying to the next as though they had seen the ghosts personally.
Man Zui had a little gift of being able to read the sky. He foretold there was going to be a snowstorm that start of winter. He Xiang urged him and Xiao Yang to operate the tavern, despite Man Zui's initial reluctance to leave her alone.
Finally, Man Zui said, "Xiao Yang and myself will just stay at the tavern for a couple of days to see if there're any travelers needing us. If not, afterwards, we will unlock the place and return home immediately. At least then, anyone who needs a cover on their heads will be able to seek shelter inside."
He Xiang smiled in relief. To be honest, she did not feel comfortable being left alone. But she could hold on for a mere few days; afterwards, Man Zui, Xiao Yang, and herself would wait to welcome the baby into their family. Besides, she did not want to show her anxiety to the two men. Perhaps, being alone for a couple of days would do her good.
A couple of days later, He Xiang took a walk to the river. The sun was glaring, she almost did not believe there would be a snowstorm further south like Man Zui had claimed. Then again, Shuyi had always been mostly warm all year round.
She took her shoes off and dip her legs in the water, closing her eyes in comfort. Because there was no one around, she rolled her inner pants and tied her skirt, letting the river water soak her legs. The water was not too deep at this time of the day, the lotus blossoms on her thigh, extending towards above her knee caps were only partly submerged in water, rippling as though they were real.
Then suddenly she lost her footing from being pushed; she opened her eyes abruptly and flailed about, only for a pair of hands to submerge her under the water surface. Her nostrils burned, her throat locked up, every breath she wanted to take filled her lungs with water. The person would not let her stand or breathe.
She could not quite see the person's visage from below the water, even her hearing had been dulled. Her brain only screamed pain. But the person spoke, it was a male and she could not quite believe her ears.
"Such a woman like you, you think you have the right to be a mother? A prostitute who had killed your own children numerous times. I'm granting mercy to your child so it's not born to this world with a mother like you and a father like Man Zui."
What? Why? What's wrong with Man Zui? Why couldn't she be a mother?
She was a sinner, but couldn't a sinner dream of happiness?
Oh right, it was a dream, and dreams would not necessarily come true. Especially for a woman like her.
But those lumps of flesh... those blood-clots... they were dead. The child she was carrying was alive. Only a few more weeks, the child would be born into this world.
That voice... . That man... . She had always shown goodwill towards him. Why did he do this to her?
She was worried about Man Zui.
Man Zui. Their baby's father.
Her vision was filled with red. Perhaps death was red, perhaps it was the blood. She could not look after Man Zui anymore.
She... could not show their baby to him anymore.
*** *** ***
Xu Yejing slowly opened her eyes, the water was still slowly cradling her body. She took a deep breath and slowly waddled towards the shore.
She looked up. Fu Yan and Fu Chun were standing there. Fu Yan offered his hand, she took it.
Her mind was in turmoil; she did not know if the wetness on her face was from the river or from He Xiang's tears.
Somewhere, beyond the fog, she could almost hear He Xiang singing.
Water gives birth to everything; water ends everything.
Memories from time immemorial, water bears witness.
The lively children song, an ode to the heaven and earth and to the flowing rivers, was like a sorrowful sigh of a maiden.
The paper umbrella Xu Yejing had brought with her lied silently close to the shore, the water lapping at it and swaying it along with the ebbing current. The umbrella had somehow been entangled with some stray lotus. The blooms must have been beautiful, but it was currently wilting under the rain; just like the maiden who could no longer wish for life.
Fu Chun lit up a fire qi with her palms, drying Xu Yejing's drenched clothes somewhat. "For now, this will do. You can change into a fresh one later."
Xu Yejing felt warm. "The both of you have merely been watching and did not want to help me?"
Fu Yan, "Naturally, if you needed help, I would have fished you out."
"How long have I been in the water?"
"About half an hour... probably."
".... ." No normal person could have held their breaths for that long, and she was not even a cultivator yet. Did it not occur to Fu Yan and Fu Chun that she might have drowned?
Fu Chun smiled, "Naturally Fu Yan would know if you're in danger. But you were perfectly content being in the water. Yejing, you are a water-kind, don't you realize that already?"
"Ah?" She recalled her first vision in the vault. "Am I not supposed to be wind-kind? Wait, why am I concerned with that? I'm clearly not some fish or bird... ."
Fu Yan asked, "What did you see?"
Xu Yejing turned to look towards the fog once again. It was quiet now, but she knew the pair of mother and son were still there.
The demon infant, the crying voice she heard before she jumped into the water... .
Xu Yejing told the two of them of He Xiang's memories. Perhaps the water had entrusted her past to her, perhaps He Xiang herself wanted her to see. "The baby was just looking for his father, and it... he was trying to warn Man Zui from that person."
The voice He Xiang heard just before she lost her life, was Xiao Yang's.
Fu Yan nodded.
"You... knew he's the culprit?" Xu Yejing blinked at his calmness. "But... he had clearly left with Man Zui... ."
Fu Chun was the one who replied, "We will know how he's able to do that after we catch him red-handed. Normal mortals shouldn't be able to split into two or make a puppet. We already had some suspicions when we noticed the tea served to us had been drugged."
Fu Yan and Fu Chun had clearly known there was something wrong with the tea, but they had not said anything back then. Xu Yejing did not drink it either.
Only Man Zui drank the tea.
"Is Man Zui safe?"
Fu Chun nodded, "He's safe for now. Fu Yan is the best with barriers. Any previously set up illusions in the residence would already be dispelled."
*** *** ***
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