a/n : this one's a lil fluffy, not really, but i'd like to think it is, it made me smile a lot :)
Glasgow, Scotland
The first off day on this stretch of the tour was much needed. The headaches I was getting post-show were coming more frequently, however not enough to make me despise my job. Actually, the headaches were kind of a blessing because it meant that I got to sit down in the back of the bus watching The Office for the third time with Awsten as he sipped on his throat tea and offered me the last of the strawberries from the fridge that were now mushy and bland.
Waking up today I knew I was going to be alone, the boys were set to do a shoot with Jawn and while I could've tagged along, I felt myself getting sicker by the second so I decided against it, settling for texting Awsten throughout the day instead of bringing around my plague to the rest of the band.
When I woke up the bus was empty, leaving me to brush my teeth with my phone blasting Underoath's "They're Only Chasing Safety" album. It was a good way to get my blood pumping and not be so lazy for the entire day. After freshening up and singing the lyrics to Reinventing Your Exit in the mirror, I decided to clean up the front room a bit, the mess form last night's Mario Kart tournament pretty obvious.
Before starting, I texted Awsten to let him know that I was feeling a little better, and to have fun at the shoot. Without a second thought I sent the message, tossing my phone on the couch before collecting the empty cans that were scattered around the living room.
By the time I finished cleaning up, the album was already playing for the second time and I decided to switch it up. Glancing at my messages app for a text back, I saw nothing and shrugged it off. Going back to Spotify to put on "The Silence in Black and White" by Hawthorne Heights.
In the midst of my cleaning I noticed a few pieces of paper peeking out from the storage underneath one of the benches. Curious, I opened up the bench, noting the copious amounts of popcorn and random wires that were scattered around before taking the papers that were peeking out in my hands. There was about five, folded up with the words "Jawn don't fucking look at this" scribbled across the page. I laughed to myself, deciding whether or not to peek at whatever was written by Awsten, obviously he wrote them considering it was his handwriting and his tone of voice on the page.
I pulled apart one page, barely making out the word "Christmas" before folding it back up. If he didn't want Jawn seeing this, I'm sure he really didn't want anyone seeing it. Especially if it was tucked away in one of the least used storage benches in the bus. I put the papers back, closing the bench before standing back up.
Surely if it was something he wanted anyone to see he would've shown me by now... right? I mean we really don't keep secrets from each other. I shook my head, pushing the thoughts of doubt in the back of my mind before wandering over to my phone where Niki FM was playing. I opened up the messages app, seeing a new notification.
From: Aws <3
PERFECT, this means you'll be a-okay to get dinner together
We found this place and it reminded me of you
To: Aws <3
and why is that?
From: Aws <3
it looked weird
To: Aws <3
thanks dickhead <3
--------------------
It was a couple of hours after the boys got back on the bus, nothing excited happened as they watched over Jawn's shoulder as he edited the photos that were just taken. I was tucked away in my bunk watching YouTube videos after I had edited the photos of my own that I've been taking of the guys. I was halfway through some random music video when the curtain was pulled and I was met with boyfriend's bright smile. I chuckled, pausing the video, and removing my headphones, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Can I help you?"
All he did was lean up, point to his lips and I knew. I leaned in, granting him a sweet kiss before pulling away slowly. I raised my eyebrow, watching as he hummed to himself with his eyes closed.
"That's all, thanks!" He laughed, closing the curtain quickly. I scoffed and right as I did that he pulled open the curtain once more, and leaned his arms against the side. "Kidding, let's start getting ready so we can go."
I nodded, closing my laptop and swinging my legs over the side, Awsten grabbing them and quickly pulling me down making me scream because of the fall. He wrapped his arms around me, though, holding me tightly as I fell and let out a loud laugh. "You're literally the worst," I chuckled as he pulled me in for another kiss. Smiling into the kiss before we pulled away and let go of each other.
It only took me a little to get ready since I had put on some makeup earlier because of how bored I was and How I probably should've posted a selfie or two on Instagram at some point, so I only needed to touch up and put on some decent clothes. I removed my sweatshirt and changed into what I assumed would be appropriate attire based on how Awsten was dressed. I pulled a black sweater over my head and paired it with a pair of black jeans, not ripped at the knees, and a pair of boots.
I walked back to the front of the bus, picking up my bag from the table that Jawn and the boys were previously sitting around and stood by Awsten who was finishing gathering his phone and wallet on the small counter. "Ready?" He smiled, I nodded, taking his outstretched hand in mine and following him out of the bus.
We walked there, despite it being chilly, but the walk didn't feel long because of Awsten's constant side poking and mocking people on the street. His bad Scottish accent did no justice and made me want to rip my ears off, but he still managed to bring a smile to my face.
"So I have a question..." He trailed off as the waiter took our menus and walked away. I raised an eyebrow, knowing that any conversation that started out with that was probably headed for disaster.
"What is it?" I asked with a slight change in my voice that I couldn't avoid, it caught me off guard slightly, his question, and made me slightly nervous. Despite our legs intertwined under the table.
"Nothing bad, I don't think at least..." He laughed a little reaching over to grab my hand across the table. "Do you think we should tell everyone?" He asked.
It caught me off guard again, I didn't think he would be asking me this honestly. At least right now, it was one of the last questions I expected. We didn't really talk about the subject much, especially after we talked about it in February before we even called ourselves anything official.
"You can say no, it's totally up to you. I remember what I said last tour about it being difficult because of the fans and stuff, but I-I dunno I just figure it might be time? You're so strong when it comes to those shitty comments, and like people are already speculating. Like, it's our relationship and we should be able to post whatever we want without hate y'know? I don't know, you can totally say no that's cool, but like I wanna post this pictu-"
"Awsten, shut up." I laughed, my smile appearing as he blabbered on. He was so nervous about how I felt, I didn't even realize that this topic was bound to come up at some point. "I'd love to"
His eyes lit up, almost like a different shade of blue and green appearing as he smiled to himself and shuffled a bit in his seat. "Wait, really? I thought this was going to be a lot harder."
I chuckled, "Idiot, no I'd love to finally come out, I just thought you were scared. Tons of them already suspect it, some good some bad." I watched his smile falter and I furrowed my brows, turning my head a bit as if to question him without words.
"If anyone says one fucking thing about thi-"
"Awsten..." I trailed off, knowing what he was going to say about the Twitter stans and how verbally abusive they could be online. "I'm a big girl," I winked.
"For that height I would consider you at most a toddler, but okay." He laughed and squeezed my hand, making my nerves go down a bit. I didn't want him to be nervous about what could happen in the future after we revealed this all to them, I wanted him to live now.
"I hate you," I shook my head as he continued to snicker about my height. "They can say whatever the hell they want. I'm the one who's gonna be f-"
"HEY!" He yelled, loud enough to get a few heads to turn from the other patrons. I gaped, laughing an almost silent laugh because of his response.
After that we sat in comfortable silence for a moment before he piped up again.
"Can we do something stupid to reveal it?"
I N S T A G R A M
stellataylor someone gave me the cheese touch in Scotland, i won't forgive you.
::comments::
fan1: so you're telling me.... YOU'RE sick in this picture
ElijahDaniel: why was this on my discover and do people ACTUALLY live in scotland? i don't believe this caption.
fan2: drop the eyeliner tutorial
JawnRocha: too sick to shoot, but not sick enough to take selfies. I see...