Binalutan ng tahimik and kwarto. Nakayuko ako at umiiyak, nasasaktan ako sa kada salita na binibitawan ni Sean. Para akong nasasakal sa sinabi niya, may kasalanan ako sa kan'ya, hindi ko man lang muna siya pina-explain, at pinakinggan. Ngunit tinulak ko parin papalayo.
Tinignan ko si Sean, nakaupo parin siya sa dulo ng kama niya. Pinipigilan ang kanyang mga luha, it hurts for me to see him like this.
Tumayo ako at papunta sana ng cr, ngunit naramdaman kong may yumakap sa likod ko. At paglingon ko, nakita ko ang ulo ni Sean na nakasandal sa likod ko, at umiiyak pa rin.
"Sean..." Sabi ko at nilingon siya.
"Hey." I said and looked to him. He was just crying.
"Gwyn, I'm sorry... I'm really really sorry.." He cried again.
I hugged him, I hugged him so tight. I miss him, his scent, his personality, his efforts, his hug, his kiss, his touch. Everything, I miss each and every single thing of him.
"I-I... M-miss you...." Hirap kong sabi.
Kumalas sa yakap si Sean, at tinignan ako. Mukhang nagulat sa sinabi ko kahit wala namang nakakagulat d'on.
"Y-you do?" He asked while wiping his tears.
I just nodded and gave him a small smile.
"Sean.. I've went through so much, I k-kept missing you... Even though, I pushed you away. You still wouldn't get off my mind. Sean... I-" I was cut off when he suddenly kissed me.
I was shocked by Sean's act. He kissed me passionately, I kiss that's telling me... How much he missed me that time, pero may biglang sumagi sa isip ko.
Natigil na ang halik namin, at saka ako muling nagsalita.
"Sean..." I called.
He just raised his brows, waiting for what I am going to say.
"Sino 'yung... Babaeng kasama mo noon sa Palawan?" I asked, trying not to sound like I'm jealous.
"Why? You jealous?" The side of his lips rose up, trying not to laugh.
I nodded a little while biting my bottom lip, he just looked at me and laughed.
What's funny with what I said, huh?!
"Chill, it's just my co-engineer. But... She does like me though, she confessed to me days ago."
"Oh, I thought she's your girlfriend or something." I didn't say more, when I suddenly went to the bathroom. When he suddenly pulled my arm.
When he pulled my arm, I got close to him. I can smell his manly scent, and his lips are inches away from mine. Para talagang nawala ang kalasingan ko nang mangyari 'to.
"Don't be jealous, my girlfriend's right here." He smiled and kissed me again.
Tangina, bigla kong naisip si Sev! Paano ko nga pala siya ipapakilala kay Sean!
I'll just tell him tomorrow, hindi pa ako handang sabihin sa kan'ya 'yun.
Pumunta na ako sa cr, at nag-hilamos. Grabe 'yung mata at ilong ko pulang pula, mukha akong rudolph the red nose reindeer pero pati mata red din.
Pagka-labas ko ng cr, nakahiga na si Sean doon sa kama. I smiled and ran up to the bed.
"Woah, slow down woman." He said.
I laid down and just stared at the ceiling, and so did Sean. I glanced at the clock, it's already 12:30 tagal pala naming nag-away.
I looked to him and saw him sleeping, sinandal ko ang kamay ko sa ulo at 'yung siko ko ay nasa unan. Tinitignan ko, ang aking nakaraan na ngayo'y nandito muli sa aking harapan.
"You really are handsome." I said and pushed some strands of hair that's poking through his eyes.
"Don't stare at me." Nagulat ako nang magsalita siya.
"Ummm.... I wasn't staring! Assumero!" I said and laid down again.
Humarap ako sa kabilang side ng kama, and I was closing my eyes to try to sleep. Nang maramdaman kong niyakap ako patalikod ni Sean.
"I love you... I miss us being like this." He whispered and we both dozed off to sleep. It was a tiring day.
I woke up, and my head hurts really bad. I was trying to remember what happened last night, ugh! Now I remember.
I looked to Sean by my side, who was still sleeping. He is sleeping really peacefully. I reached my phone, when I heard a notification from it.
It was Kaitlyn, she has so many texts.
Kaitlyn
Hoy babaita! Nasaan ka!
Kaitlyn
Hey answer me, you bitch!
Kaitlyn
Nakauwi ka na ba?
Kaitlyn
What happened between you and Sean? Nagkaaminan na ba? Haha!
Kaitlyn
Hoy tama na pakikipaglaplapan!
Kaitlyn
Tinext ako ni Caleb, nagaalala siya sa'yo pero I told him na you're with Sean.
Kaitlyn
Girl, dalian mo na itext mo na!
Nagulat ako sa dami ng texts niya, jusq!
Me
Tanga, jwu I'm here at Sean's condo.
Agad agad rin naman siyang nag-reply.
Kaitlyn
Ay gago, 'kala ko nakaalis ka na d'yan. 11:00 na hoy! Ano wala kayong plano bumangon?!
I glanced at the time, fuck 11:00 na nga! Pero wala akong pakielam kasi wala naman akong pasok today. Kaya, I'll just be chill here.
Nagulat naman ako nang biglang tumawag si mommy, well, it seems important though.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hello, mommy!" Sev greeted.
Nagulat ako at tinignan ko si Sean, natutulog pa rin naman siya at mukhang 'di naman niya maririnig 'yung mga sasabihin ko.
"Hi baby!" I smiled.
"Mommy? Are you coming home tomorrow? I'm excited to see you already!" Sean said.
Napa-isip din ako, tangina, matagal na nga rin pala kami hindi nagkikita ni Sev. Miss ko na rin anak ko.
"Yes baby! I'll be going there later okay?" I said.
"Yeeyyy! I miss you mommy!" He cheered.
"I miss you too, baby." I smiled.
"What about daddy, mommy? When will I see daddy?"
Napahinto ako at tinignan si Sean, natutulog pa rin siya.
"You will see him soon baby, okay? It's a week now before your birthday baby, what gift do you want?" I asked, taking Kait's advice.
"I want to meet my daddy, I want that to be my gift!" He said in a small voice, there were tears already on the side of my face.
"O-Okay baby! You will get that gift, o-okay?" I tried so hard not to stutter.
"Yey! Thank you mommy! I'll ser you later, lola needs her phone now. Bye!" He said and ended the call.
I covered my face and started crying.... Again.
"Who was that?" I was startled when Sean started talking.
So he wasn't asleep?
I looked to him and saw him crying. I didn't say anything, and headed on to my bag. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a mini album there, it's a mini album full of pictures of Sev.
He stood up and I gave him the album.
"What's this?" He asked and opened it.
When he first looked at the picture, he ws confused and with the rest... His eyes glinted with tears.
I just stood up in front of him, and cried. Not knowing what I was going to say. He heard our conversation, hindi ko na madedeny pa 'yun. At ayo'ko na rin itago ang anak ko sa kan'ya dahil siya ang ama.
When he saw the picture of me and Sev at the hospital, he started crying.
"G-G-Gwyn..." He said crying.
"I'm... Sorry... So so sorry..." I whispered.
"Please... Please stop doing this to me Gwyn! Please!" His voice sounded like it is mixed with anger, and pain.
"Im really... Sorry..." I whispered again.
Grabe, pagkagising na pagkagising namin, ito na agad 'yung bungad. Kailan ba ako makakahinga ng maluwag?
"Tangina, anak ko ba 'to, Gwyneth?" He asked and looked up to me.
I nodded and started crying again.
"Fuck.... Fuck fuck fuck!" He muttered curses and sat down the bed holding onto his head.
"Im such a worthless father! Fuck!" He stood up and started punching the wall again.
I ran up to him and hugged him, he just held on to my arms.
"Sean, I'm sorry..." I whispered.
"This is all my fault! I didn't listen to you, and I just pushed you away, not thinking of our child! And at that time, I felt guilt... When you wanted to ba an engineer, pero tinigil mo para sa ak-"
"Bullshit." He cut me off.
He looked up to me.
"What is his name?" He asked and looked away.
"Severiano Caden..." I said. "Sev for short."
"Sev..." He said and cried again.
"How old is he?"
"3, he's turning 4 next week." I bit my lip.
"His birthday wish, is to see his father..." I said trying not to cry.
"So that's what you're talking about, earlier in the call?" He asked and I just nodded.
"What else? Tell me all about him."
We both sat on the bed.
"His favorite color is red and blue, he loves lightning mcqueen and toy story. He likes to play with toy cars, he hates vegetables. He's really curious about everything, he's a smart and intelligent kiddo." I said.
"And?"
"Umm..." I thought of what I'm going to say. "He loves to explore, and matampuhin rin siya, pero pag binigyan ko siya ng ice cream, or pinasyal ko sa mall... Love niya na ulit ako. He's really clingy lalo na pag matagal akong nawala sa kan'ya."
"Does he ask for me?" He said and looked to me.
"Yes, he does. Every single day, he kept asking me kung kailan ka niya makikita. I keep saying soon pero hindi ako makahanap ng timing, hindi pa ako ready sabihin sa'yo. Pero ngayon, hindi ko na 'yun madedeny kasi... Narinig mo na usapan namin." Sabi ko at yumuko.
"Where is he, then?" He asked.
"Nasa bahay nila mommy, sa QC. Pupunta ako doon mamaya, gusto mo bang... Sumama?" I gulped.
Tumango lang siya.
Tumayo ako at hinila ko siya pataas at niyakap.
"Gwyn, I'm so sorry-"
"Shh, wala kang kasalanan ako dapat mag sorry." I said.
"Pero wala ako sa tabi niyo noon."
"As long as you're here, everything will be okay." I smiled and he hugged my tight.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you, too." I replied.