(A/N: I know. Shocking a Jaylos fic. Trust me this was so hard to write. I can't write Jay to save my life. So if he seems a bit out of character I apologize. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!)
Carlos was in a mass of moving bodies all grinding and writhing to the thumping and pumping music. His head was fuzzy with admittedly alcohol and drugs. He just turned his thoughts off and just submitted to the moment letting himself live and finally feel free, free of the pain he has been feeling. It has been months Since Jay got his scholarship for tourney and Carlos has been feeling nothing but heartbroken. Heartbroken because according to his online profiles he not only isn't single anymore but seems to be nothing but happy in his new life. He hasn't heard from him in week, not even a text despite all the VK's having a healthy and active group chat. No one asks what Carlos has been up to. He got a scholarship for a different school and has been silently suffering the loss of his friends.
Carlos has changed since his friends were so far away, busy with their own lives. He started drinking, dabbling in drugs, and working as a male escort on the side to pay for his habits. Carlos's entire life had been turned upside down without the VK's. He was alone and the only way to numb the ache that their distance left was an unhealthy lifestyle.
Tonight was different though, tonight Ben, Mal, and Evie were all supposed to be visiting him at the club. He got here early to enjoy himself some before he inevitably had to pretend everything was okay. Out of the corner of Carlos's eye he spied his three formerly close friends walk into the club looking out of their element. Ben wasn't a party type unless Harry forced him to open up. Mal and Evie both looked admittedly more at home but still this place was new to them so they didn't know the lay of the land. Plastering on a fake smile Carlos slipped out of the dance floor and over to his friends hugging all of them. Ben noticeably looking worried by how strongly he already smelled of alcohol. "Guys! You made it!" Carlos lead them over to one of the empty booths and ushered them to sit while a waitress came to take orders. Everyone seemed to start light but Carlos just ordered his usual cocktail and the waitress nodded.
"Come here often C?" Mal asked arching an eyebrow at how familiar he seemed to be with the waitress, even knowing each other by name.
"Yeah I do actually, every night I can. Got a problem Mom?" Carlos snickers. The music changes and Carlos gasps overly excited. "I fucking love this song." Carlos beams starting to dance in his seat a bit. Ben, Evie, and Mal are all watching him with concern but not wanting to voice anything not really knowing what to say. Evie looks the most disturbed by his behavior.
"So how have you been 'Los? We've missed you. You seem to have changed since you left..." Evie says trying to bring out the old Carlos in hopes that her friend would peak through the clearly tipsy and drugged male. Carlos just shrugs not really giving her much of an answer. She glances at the other two who give her similar looks of concern. Before she can open her mouth to protest, Carlos is up and back in the crowd of bodies dancing. He doesn't care if they don't like who he is now. This is their fault anyway. They basically abandoned communicating with him the moment he left for his education. They talk but it isn't the same and the subjects are never what he really needs to talk about. Things got really hard and he had no one to save him. He's honestly been broken ever since but he's trying to hold himself together with rubber bands and tape.
Evie and Mal look at one another before holding hands sipping their drinks. Ben just watches Carlos dance a look of longing and worry in them. "Guys... I don't know what's up with Carlos but something feels really off. He's acting... weird. Even if he changed this isn't normal." Ben's voice is half swallowed up by the rhythmic thumping of the music. Mal nods but Evie shakes her head.
"The Carlos we know wouldn't do drugs guys. I don't think that's it. Maybe he just drank too much." Evie knew that she was only lying to herself but she didn't want to accept the idea that Carlos would get into that kind of stuff.
Jay entered the club and joined his group of friends. He smiles brightly, sliding into the booth with them. His smile slips off his face when he sees the concerned looks everyone has on their face. "Hey guys... what's going on?" Jays tilts his head looking worried now too. Ben doesn't bother speaking he just gestures in the direction of Carlos. Jay's eyes follow and land on Carlos who is dancing like no one is watching. Typically Carlos wouldn't even be able to dance alone in a club period without having a panic attack. To Jay this was strange. The wobbly, too big smile on his face concerned him too. He was bumping into people with little regard for himself. Deciding to do something about it he got up and moved into the dance floor towards Carlos.
When Carlos finally noticed Jay he let out a giggle and grabbed his hands pulling his to dance with him. Jay didn't feel like dancing so he leaned in so his lips brushed Carlos's ear. "Carlos! I need to speak with you. In private." Carlos flushed and nodded in return guiding Jay by the hands into the bathroom pulling him into the largest stall and closing them in. Finally one could think as the music from outside was muffled by the walls. Jay too a deep breath, Carlos smiled and hugged him tightly.
"I missed you so much Jay!" Carlos giggled swaying on his feet.
"Carlos what have you taken?" Jay cuts to the chase and Carlos thinks harder than he should to recall.
"mmm I don't know. Just some pills my friend gave me. They make me feel so good. So free. You should try some." Carlos giggled and started feeling Jay up. Jay flushed slightly at the sudden affection and cleared his throat.
"No Carlos. Why are you doing drugs you don't even know what they are? Why are you doing drugs period?! The Carlos I know wouldn't act like this." Jay said sternly looking down into his dilated eyes.
"I'm sorry my life isn't so perfect as yours is that I can have fun without drugging myself up." Carlos suddenly turning angry shoving Jay. "It's not like you guys all abandoned me the moment I moved. You have no idea how hard it has been on my own and you don't even care. I'm starting to wonder if you guys ever did." He snapped and his words hit Jay like a slap to the face. Abandoned him? He thought Carlos wanted his space, I mean why leave if you didn't want it? Clearly Jay had misinterpreted a lot of things with Carlos.
"I'm sorry you feel like we abandoned you 'Los but drugs? Really? How are you even paying for this stuff?" Jay sounding more concerned and saddened by the second.
"I do some escort work on the side... it helps pay for things..." Carlos admits guiltily and Jay's frown deepens into something harsher.
"Carlos. Look at me." Carlos reluctantly listened looking up at Jay. "This isn't you. I don't know what happened, but this isn't right. I know we left you alone but that's what we thought you wanted. Come on. Let's go. You need to sleep off these pills. I can't stand seeing you like this." Jay has tears in his eyes that he fights back but Carlos rips his arm from Jay's grasp and sneers.
"Then leave. You don't care. I thought I meant something to you. I thought... Forget it. Just go." Carlos starts to break down through angry tears shoving hopelessly at Jay. Jay lets his tears fall as he grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug, holding him to his chest.
"I do care. I care more than you can imagine dude. Don't do this." Jay kisses the top of his head and Carlos just clings to him.
"I love you so much and you just moved on without me..." Carlos sobbed breaking Jay's heart. He loved Carlos too. He thought his feelings were one sided and all the affection between them was just as friends. Now he sees how stupid he was. Jay cups Carlos's cheeks and pulls him up into a loving kiss.
"I'm so sorry 'Los. I would have never left you alone if I had known. I love you too..." Jays squeezes Carlos tight to him and finally he seems to be listening. "Let's get you home and go to bed. You need to sleep these drugs off before we talk more." Carlos could only nod at Jay before going with him. They rounded up their friends and headed to Carlos's small apartment. It was shabby and run down but it was home. The place was a mess with cans and bottles littered everywhere. The only normal area was his desk where he does all his work. Everywhere else looks like the aftermath of a frat party. Jay carries Carlos to bed who falls asleep almost immediately. Jay and the other three get garbage bags and start picking up the place throwing away all his alcohol and any drugs they find. Jay explains what happened in the bathroom and Evie breaks down into Mal's chest feeling guilty. Ultimately the three end up leaving Carlos in Jay's care for the night.
By morning Carlos walks out with a pounding hangover confused to see Jay curled up on the couch dozed off. He goes to his small kitchen and starts a pot of coffee trying to recall what happened the previous night. While he is lost in though the smell of coffee wakes Jay and he comes up behind Carlos hugging him. He looks up at him confused only to get a smile in return.
"I'm guessing you don't remember last night very well huh?" Jay asks in a husky voice that sends a chill down his spine. Carlos nods and Jay sighs. "You told me about how you felt you were abandoned by us, about the drugs, the escorting, and how you love me. I mean who could resist me." Jay smirks a bit playfully flexing around Carlos making him blush heavily. Before Carlos could start panicking Jay leaned in and kissed Carlos's neck. "I told you I love you too by the way. However, this new lifestyle of yours has to stop. I can't see you like that again C. It hurt too much. Please." Jay sighs frowning slightly. Carlos shakes his head.
"You've got a girlfriend Jay." Carlos interjects and Jay shrugs.
"I don't love her like I love you 'los. I can't stand you doing this to yourself. Promise me you'll stop. Promise me." Jay turns him to look him in the eyes. Carlos nods reluctantly and the two have breakfast together. Things were hard after that but now they had each other and Carlos knew as long as he had Jay, He would be okay.