collage of Chris and Anais in MM section.
Having date nights were always my thing. I loved the idea of setting time aside with your partner to enjoy their company, outside of the normal chill nights. It was time to de-stress, time be romantic. Chris felt the same, so we usually picked Thursday nights as our night. We took turns choosing what the exact plans were. Some of them ranged from movie dates, dinner, to picnics and even arcades. We didn't do them much since we weren't exclusive, but we enjoyed each other's company and we are friends that love hanging out together.
However, with school going back in session, and the Browns starting camp, we started to fall behind. Chill nights at either of our homes were becoming the bare minimum.
Tonight, we made time for each other. While at work, I told him we needed to see each other. It was times like this when I could see myself with him the most. When I craved his presence, his attention, I knew I was slowly falling for him. I hadn't seen myself like this in years, and I liked it.
Holding hands, we trailed downtown Cleveland. String lights and building signs lit the streets as we attempted to find our next destination for dinner.
"Work was good?"
"Yeah. The kids are really getting their lines down. I'm just worried about the logistics of things. You know, making sure props come in that we don't already have, the flyers are good, that stuff."
"Ahh, you got it. You can do that shit in your sleep."
I shrugged, not feeling like I could. This was my first time directing a musical, and I felt a lot of pressure to make sure everything was near perfect.
Sensing my silence, he looked over to me and we stopped walking. "Hey, I know you won't listen to me, but don't stress yourself out. You got this." Kissing my cheek, he moved closer to me.
"I hear you."
We began walking again, this time in a comfortable silence. We walked into a few stores to kill time, just enjoying each other's presence.
"I'm feelin soul food." He spoke, looking over to me. We had just walked out of the store and, without sharing words, knew that getting dinner was our next stop.
"I'm all the soul food you need."
Letting my hand go, he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side and kissed the side of my face. "You right."
Laughing, I looked up as we approached Lucid Dream's Cafe, a black-owned soul food restaurant and club. However, I was stunned, nearly shocked when I saw my old friend and his girlfriend walking out of the doors as we approached them. Why, of all nights, were we running into each other?
I chose not to keep Chris updated on how Odell and I's talk went. Nothing outrageous happened, so I didn't feel the need. Everything was innocent.
"Yo, wassup Ana." He grinned.
"Odell, hey."
Making eye contact with the young girl standing beside him, I sensed she attempted to mean mug me, but she failed when Odell looked down to her.
"Hi, I'm Ana." I waved. "You must be Naomi."
"Yeah." He confirmed. "This my girl, Naomi. Naomi, this is Ana."
"Nice to finally put a face to the name." She sarcastically smirked. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Really? Well, it's good to put a face to your name as well. I've heard of you." I threw back at her. I could sense when a woman tried to throw shade at me. And if Odell didn't already tell her, she would pick up very quickly that I could throw it back.
"Well, uh, this is my boyfriend Chris. Babe, I'm pretty sure you know--"
"Yeah, I do." He answered before I could finish.
"How you doin, Chris?" Odell asked while making eye contact with him.
"Doin good."
"Baby, let's go before it gets too late." Chris mumbled, but loud enough so the three of us could hear him.
Naomi reached for Odell's hand and pulled him to past Chris and I. "Nice meeting you two."
"Hey, Ana." Odell called after me as Chris and I began walking. "That favor I asked you the other night--"
"Uh, yeah." I nodded, remembering he asked me to make him some artwork for his new place. "I'm still thinking, but I'll get back to you."
"Cool, cool."
Once they continued walking, I turned back to Chris, whose face expression wasn't easy to read. "Babe, what the hell? Did you see that? That hoe really tried it."
"Mhm."
Pulling his arm from around my waist, Chris stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and walked beside me. Not knowing what to expect from our next conversation, I pulled my phone out to occupy time.
We walked inside the soul food restaurant with food on the brain. At least that was on my mind. Chris, however evidently showed otherwise. We headed straight for the take-out counter.
"I thought we were sitting in."
"Nah, I think it might be best to get our food to go."
We stood at the counter after ordering our food in silence, with Chris on his phone the whole time. I tried to make conversation, but all I received is an occasional head nod or he would shrug his shoulders.
After we received our food in a plastic take-out bag, we headed outside and walked in the direction we came from towards his car. We reached his car in a matter of minutes, almost as if we ran.
Once we reached his car, I got inside and looked over at him. I could sense aggravation and could almost see his mind running miles on what he wanted to say next.
"Talk to me." I finally said. "Please."
"About what?"
"About why you're upset with me." I turned in my seat to face him. "Don't do this to me, please. I can't take the silent treatment."
Taking a deep breath, he dropped his keys in his lap and rubbed a hand over his face.
"I'm jealous." He admitted. I felt the weight of bringing that to the light, and I wanted him to know I took him serious, even though I didn't understand.
"Why?"
"That favor he asked you the other night — y'all hangin out and shit, like what the fuck is that?"
"He just asked me to paint him some things to go in his new place—"
"And then he talkin to his girl about you, like c'mon now. He know what the fuck he doing."
"I think you're making this more than what it is."
"Nah, Ana, a stranger can see what this is between y'all, even if it's not all the way there anymore. I see how he looks at you, and how comfortable you are with him. I don't know, I just feel like I won't ever come close to that sometimes."
"Chris-"
"Nah," he cut me off. "I get you wanna take your time with me, I do. But, man, sometimes I question if I'll really get a chance with you. You're so guarded and I'm trying. I really am. And I feel like him coming back means I gotta try even harder, because he's had your heart before. It was more than just a friendship. This ain't about that nigga, it ain't. And I don't want to seem like I'm tryin to run your life or say you can't be around him. Y'all got mutual friends, so it's no getting past it."
"But?"
"But, he's come into your life and dipped out when he wanted to before. I don't want him thinking he got a second chance to break you again."
I rested my head on the seat, feeling Chris' emotions through his words. He was finally being vulnerable with me and letting me know how much he didn't want to see Odell break my heart again, something he doesn't do often. He always makes himself seem like he has it all together, that nothing bothers him, and he knows the answer before the question is asked.
"Chris, I like you and I really do appreciate everything you do for me. And sometimes I don't know how to show it. I guard myself because I don't want to feel the pain I felt from my last heartbreak."
"You do know I'll never do no shit like that, right?"
"Yes."
"Well show me then. Show me you trust me."
"It's not that easy." I defended. "You have to earn my trust. And it's not going to come over night."
He looked away, giving me silence again.
"But I can say this. What you've done so far has shown me that you want to be here. You've been so patient with me, and I want to give you the same in return, ok? Just let me know how I can ease your mind a bit."
"Like I said, I don't want to run your life, baby. I know how much it bothered you to talk to him, and now that y'all good, I see that a friendship is what you're working towards. But I don't need that nigga feeling like he gotta chance at you, cus he don't. Not wit me around."
Reading between the lines, I got that Chris would feel much better if I didn't spend time with Odell, and I get that. After he came over to my dad's the other night, I questioned the what if's and it didn't feel right, especially with Chris being in my life. I hated having clouded judgement, and the last thing I wanted to do was play with his heart.
If cutting off Odell was what I had to do in order to move forward in my relationship with Chris, it was going to have to be the right decision for right now.
Leaning over towards him, I cupped his face in my hand and pecked his soft lips, one time after another until our mouths were fully connected. I pulled away ending with a peck before I softly rubbed my knuckle against his cheek.
"You're not running my life by telling me things that make you uncomfortable. I got you, ok?"
"You sure?"
"Yes." I whispered before kissing him on the tip of his nose. "Trust me."
Sliding over back into my seat, I pulled my seatbelt over my chest. "Now lets get home before our food gets cold."
When we reached my apartment, I went to my room to freshen up before dinner. I took a shower and threw on some comfortable shorts and a shirt before heading back to the living room.
After eating my fried pork chops meal with mac and cheese and candied yams, I found myself cuddled on the couch with Chris as we watched an hour and a half long movie. He laid in between my legs, his head on my chest as we both stared at the screen.
"You forgive me for how I acted tonight?"
"Where is this coming from?" I asked. His question threw me off, causing me to lose interest in the movie. It wasn't that great anyways.
"I don't know, I just feel like I was bein a little childish, that's all. I don't like making you beg for me to talk to you, I just didn't want you to take anything I said the wrong way."
"You weren't childish." I clarified, getting him to shift on the couch so he could look at me. "But I don't like you being silent when you have something to say. I like that you have to choose your words wisely, but it really does something to my mental." I sighed. "You mind if I bring him up, just one last time?"
"Go 'head."
"Odell would do that to me whenever we'd get in arguments...go silent, but for days. He'd pretend nothing was wrong, but his actions would say otherwise, and it would drive me crazy. I'd literally beg him to talk. I don't know, he's not good with showing emotions and communicating, and I would suffer as the result. I don't want to bash him, because that can be someone's way of coping. I just don't agree with it, and would rather you not do that to me."
"I won't, I promise." He mumbled, moving closer to my face to kiss my lips. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing." I chuckled. "You did nothing wrong."
We sat up on the couch as he urged me to straddle his lap. "Man, I usually don't do all this shit." He laughed to himself. "But you got me fallin for you. Hard as hell. Got me talkin to my mama about you and shit."
"Really?" I smiled. "I guess this means we're really official now, huh?"
"Shit, hell yeah." He laughed as I kissed his forehead. His hands rubbed down my back, landing on my behind. I moved my face down, moving in to kiss his lips.
Before I knew it, we were in a deep make-out session with our most of our clothes on the floor. It had been a minute - a near two weeks - since we've last slept together, so it was bound to happen. Tensions were high, and even a nice guy like Chris would have intentions on sleeping with his girlfriend after date night.
My moans filled the room as he inserted himself inside me. If I had to find one flaw in Chris, it would be that he wasn't a guy who entertained foreplay. He was a guy who jumped right into the sex without teasing your partner.
His dick game wasn't lacking, but overall there could be a few tweaks. For someone who continued to sleep with him, I felt bad for even bringing it to his attention.
Attempting to catch my breath as we laid there in sweat, I had realized this was, yet, another time where I hadn't climaxed.
I was never one to complain, but after the stress of my job, a mind-blowing orgasm was one thing I looked forward to tonight. Yet, I didn't get it.
Maybe we weren't sexually compatible. It was something I had to find out the hard way, but soon realized that I wasn't going to be with every guy I slept with.
However, seeing Chris lay on me in full satisfaction caused me to think about the fastest way to get him out of my space.
______________________
"Alright, everyone. Listen up!" I talked over the students in my African American theatre class. This class focuses on plays centered around experiences of African Americans and written by African American playwrights. "I've placed a small piece of paper on your desks with the name of a play. Each of you are to research these plays and create a presentation. The rubrics and due date is posted on Blackboard."
I finished up right before the bell rung for them to leave. As the students exited my classroom, I made my way over to my desk to grab my belongings for lunch.
"Hey, girl!" Looking up, I saw my co-worker Ananya standing in the doorway. (Ah-non-ya)
"Ready for lunch? I'm starving."
"Girl, yes. If I don't eat, I'll end up cussing one of the kids out and lose my job." I joked, grabbing my purse from my locked file cabinet.
Ananya, like myself, was fairly new to the community of the school. We both began our jobs at the same time, so we instantly clicked on being the new teachers. Ananya teaches film production and art classes.
We decided to go off campus to grab Panera Bread, which was fairly close to our job.
"I honestly think I should start a tally of how many students I send out of my class a week." She took a deep breath with much attitude.
"Are they getting that out of control?"
"They're not that bad, it's only a few...the same ones everyone has a problem with. I, however, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't feel comfortable writing kids off because they hold a reputation, ya know? I just don't like how students could be so comfortable with disrespecting adults."
"Right? If this was me, I'd be dead. My parents didn't play that."
"Me too, honey. I would definitely be in somebody's casket already. Or walking around with no teeth." She laughed. "Well, outside of work, how's it going?" She looked over at me while sitting in my passenger seat.
"Really interesting." I nodded.
"How so?"
"I feel like I'm finally healing from something that hurt me. You know, that feeling when you don't have to hold onto the hurt anymore? You finally get to let it out in the world. It's no longer bothering you, and you feel free."
"Yeah." She giggled. "It's amazing. That's the thing about healing. Sometimes you forget it's a continuous process until you're reminded of why you're going through it. Life's crazy."
"Exactly." I turned into the parking lot of the restaurant, finding the closest park to the entrance. Once we got inside, the sweet smell of bread hit my nose, and I was sent straight to heaven.
"Hi." The young cashier greeted us as we approached the counter. "Welcome to Panera Bread, I can serve the next guest." Ananya went first, ordering her meal. I went after, choosing their pick 2 option with a sandwich and chicken noodle soup. I also grabbed a dessert - one of their famous cheese Brittanys and a drink before we chose a table.
"How's married life, Ananya?" I asked her to begin another conversation as we sat down.
"Hm." She laughed to herself, stuffing her receipt in her bag. "I'm enjoying it, really. He's great. You should come by sometime, join us for dinner."
"I'll take you up on that offer." I nodded. Feeling the need for a great girl talk coming on, I thought to ask Ananya for advice on my current situation.
"What's up?"
"I don't know how to ask the question I want to ask." I laughed to myself, shaking my head as I poured a small amount of hand sanitizer on my hand. "But, are all sacrifices good to take in relationships?"
"Depends on what you're sacrificing." She nodded.
"People?"
"Mm." She stopped in her tracks, chuckling. "Whew, that's tricky."
"Honestly." I slipped the sanitizer bottle back into my purse before eating. "I want to show my boyfriend—"
"Wait! Boyfriend?"
Smiling to myself, I finally nodded. "Yeah."
"You two are moving in a good direction, huh? I'm proud of you."
"Thanks."
"Ok, ok!" She waved excitedly. "Finish the story."
I went on to tell her that Chris and I had a conversation the other night about my old friend, but keeping the story short that this friend was an ex who has come back into the picture, and noted that me being around him has made Chris uncomfortable and I offered to 'cut him off'.
"And you're stuck?"
"Just a little." I admitted. "Like, I have nothing to lie about. We aren't doing anything that should cause me to sneak around."
"Do you see any good coming out of this, though? Like what benefits will you get from you two being friends again, other than an attempt to recreate history?"
Falling silent, I tried to think....being around Odell made me happy. But other than talking to each other when we were in the same place, and occasional text messages, there was nothing that benefited me, other than being able to talk to each other if we were in the same room. It was still a soft wound to touch.
"It may be too soon to tell, and that's fine." She assured. "But you might want to think fast. I'd hate for a good thing to be ruined over a friendship, ya know? Friendships are good, but sometimes exes need to be left where they are. And you say he has a girlfriend too, right?"
"I don't know if that's the right word to use, but yeah." I laughed.
"Well, whatever they are, he's being intimate with someone too. He should want the same thing. Maybe she's uncomfortable with him being around you. It's really a good thing for you two that you talked everything out and can be around each other without wanting to stab him. But now what?"
"You're right." I finally admitted. "You're always the voice of reason, Ananya."
"Girl, it comes from a mama who has centuries of wisdom." She smiled.
After taking a bite to eat, I fell silent once again to process my thoughts.
"Don't think too deep into it. If this old friend of yours is a good guy, he'll understand. This friendship was patched long after you and your man started seeing each other. Your man will thank you for thinking of his feelings. It's a sacrifice that's hard to take, but it's worth it if you want this relationship to work."
We switched the subject and finished our food, still having enough time to get back to the school before our lunch period ended.
Once my car was parked, I followed Ananya into the school. Feeling the vibration of my phone ringing in my purse, I stopped in my tracks to check the incoming call.
"You ok?" She asked, concerned as I pondered on answering. It was Odell.
Everything we discussed at lunch rushed through my brain, and I settled on declining and slipping my phone back into my bag.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered after hesitating.
She rubbed my shoulder as I caught up to her. "See, you got this."
I didn't know if I believed her, but I knew I'd try to.
we madeeeee ittttt to chapter 6! How was it?? Chapter 7 will be here very soon (I'm working on it as we speak). I don't want to beggg, but please follow me on social media so we can interact about my books. I like to answer questions and talk to you guys. I also show music that inspires my chapters and you get in depth sneak peeks of when I'm about to post chapters. Basically, you find out before everyone else.
If y'all like sneak peeks of excerpts from the chapters, I can start doing those too. Ok, for the questions...
1. What's your overall take on Ana and Chris? You've seen him a little more since the first chapter. Do you see this getting serious?
2. What's your take on being sexually incompatible with your partner?
3. Do you believe Ana cutting Odell off will be beneficial for her? What about her relationship with Chris? Do you think it'll help?
4. Any opinions on Ananya?
5. Is there anything or any character you'd like to see more of?