————— 22 days remaining —————Tuesday, January 9th, 11:39 am
Status 1: stage 5 - Watermelon
Status 2: stage 5 - Azure
~~~
-Zak's POV-
>Skeppy is taking a break!
>Hope he's ok!
>What's going on?
>What if something happened to him!
>He's probably fine.
The notebook casts a dim red light on my desk beside me as I read through my Discord. It's been flooded with messages for the past couple of hours, ever since my last livestream.
I announced that I'd be taking a break. From uploading, from streams, from everything. Of course I didn't say why, how could I? All I said is that I'll be taking a break due to personal reason. What I really mean is, until I figure this out.
In reality, the videos aren't provoking it. It's not recording, it's who I record with. I just needed an excuse to get away from Bad.
It hurts that this is what I've had to resort to, putting on hold what I love because of my stupid feelings. The apparition's words ring through my head.
'At the rate you're going, you'll die on the sixteenth of January.'
So I asked them if that was my choice. I confess to Bad, or I die in seven days time. They told me I was wrong.
So what do I do?
The notebook glows ominously as I think. One hand is clutching my hurting chest, so I set the other down on top of the book. My fingers trace the outline of the rose, hovering over the number on the front.
The number is 4.
What does that mean?!
I flip open the book, scanning the inside cover for any sort of clue. My eyes drift to the note at the top, which has never made any sense to me.
I've seen an identical note in the same place in Darryl's. What's haunting is that it moves. It changed as time goes by, the 'days remaining' decreasing with each passing day.
Days decreasing...
The note on the inside cover reads:
'————— 22 days remaining —————Tuesday, January 9th, 11:46 am
Status 1: stage 4 - Fire
Status 2: stage 4 - Cobalt'
Something doesn't add up. This note tells me that I have 22 days left, despite the spirit telling me I have 7. The deadline they told me expires on the 16th of January, but this deadline expires on the 31st.
So how can I have two deadlines? Which one is real?
Are either of them real...
My thoughts are interrupted by my ringtone. It's slightly muffled as my phone is buried beneath my bedsheets. I drag myself from my desk to my bed, letting myself fall onto my back.
My phone lays beside me, blaring my ringtone through my apartment. It's so loud my neighbours could probably hear it. I read the contact name and sigh, answering the call anyway.
"Hello?"
"Zak?"
"Dude is it not killing your phone bills to call me from Frenchland?"
"I don't give a shit about the phone bill Zak, I give a shit about you. I know why you've stopped recording. It's because you can't face Bad isn't it? Why don't you just tell him?!"
I turn the phone onto speaker and drop it on the bed beside me. My pillow lays beside my head, so I grab it, shoving it into my face and groaning loudly. I really don't want to deal with my issues today.
My chest suddenly burns at the mention of Bad, causing me to shriek and throw the pillow across the room. With my luck, it hits my glass of water. I jump up, yelling in pain as I scramble towards the desk. The glass rocks back and forth from the impact, but doesn't fall over. I pout at the glass.
Of course, pillows aren't that heavy Zak...
"Zak? Zak are you ok?"
I grab the pillow, throwing it back on my bed and sitting on my floor. It's too much unnecessary pain to move back there. "Yeah I'm fine Vin. Kicked my desk."
I hear laughing on the other end. "You idot."
"No you."
"That's such a child's remark!" I smile at my ceiling, happy for the conversation change. However, it doesn't last long.
"So about you and Bad..."
I scrunch my eyes up, making myself focus on the light rain hitting against the window. "I'm not going to tell him Vincent. I don't think I can live with myself if I do. It'll kill our friendship."
"Either that or it kills you!" he shrieks down the line at a pitch so high the audio muffles. That guy can scream about 3 octaves higher than normal people I swear. "You don't know how much time you have left!"
"Actually..." I glance back at the open notebook on the floor in front of me. "I might have some idea..."
"Then how long?"
"Somewhere between 7 and 22 days..."
A sigh. "Zak that's not a helpful margin. Or a large one. The sooner you tell him, the sooner this ends."
My doorbell rings, reminding me I'm have a guest over. "I've still got a week to sort it out appreciate the help Vin byeeeee!"
"Wait Zak!-"
I click the 'end call' button, bringing the phone back to my lock screen. There's two new messages there from the person waiting outside, presumably asking me to let them in.
My hoodie is covered in blood again, so I change it quickly. The first one I see is Darryl's he lent me, so that's what I settle for.
I stuff the blue one I was wearing into the back of my wardrobe. Darryl's hoodie is perfect actually. It's black over my heart, which should hide the bloodstains.
Darryl worries too much about those marks. Whenever we're trying to get something done, my stupid brain brings me back to Bad and those cuts bleed more.
This only distracts Darryl, who forces me to let him take care of me before we continue. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like his attention, but we really need to make some progress here.
The doorbell rings for the third time. I rush out of my room to answer it, tripping on one of the kitchen counters. I slam straight into the front door, grabbing the handle for support. "Zak are you alright?" a muffled voice asks from the other side.
Other than the bruise I'm inevitably going to get from slamming my face into the door, I'm unharmed. "Yeah I'm good" I mutter, fumbling with the handle.
The door swings open, and I'm enveloped in a hug.
"Hi!" Darryl chirps, ruffling my hair with once hand. "Dude I saw you like an hour ago. Why are you so excited?"
He pulls away, watching me in confusion. "Excited? I'm just happy we're finally going to get some hints as to what's going on!" His smile is so bright it practically lights up the room.
I grab his hand, taking him into my room. We sit down together in the middle of the floor.
"Why are you so invested in this?" I ask as Darryl pulls the other notebook out of his bag and lays it out beside mine. "You've only been dragged into this because your name got wrote on one of those stupid notebooks. It was a complete accident! The book wasn't meant for you!"
Darryl looks a little hurt. "Oh. Who was it meant for?"
The look on his face makes me instantly regret my words. "Well I don't know for certain, but I think it was meant for my crush."
That's what I've always said. I told myself that this second notebook was meant for my crush. It was meant for Bad. I told myself I'd let him keep it.
That was foiled when the notebook wrote Darryl's name on it. Maybe he did fuck up the system. The spirited said it was me, but maybe it wasn't. That's the only thing I can think that's wrong.
Are we meant to love each other?
The hurt has faded from Darryl's eyes. He looks a little paler than before. "What makes you say that?"
"Well these notebooks are linked to the hanahaki, right?" Darryl nods, watching me intently. "They have a deadline in them. The deadline the spirit told me was the 16th, right?" Another nod. "But the deadlines don't add up. They told me I have until the sixteenth, but the books tell me I have until the thirty first."
Darryl flips open his notebook, revealing the same deadline. "I've never noticed that before..." he trails off. "Why are there two?"
"Well, I have two theories. Theory one is that neither deadline is actually real. There may be no deadline, but there may also be a different deadline." Darryl doesn't look convinced. "I know none of this makes sense, but I'm convinced these books don't lie. Those dates are there for a reason."
"Exactly. Which brings me to theory two. Those deadlines are for two separate people."
Darryl's eyes light up. I watch green hues disappear as his pupils dilate. Mixes of mint green and lime, forest green and emerald. Emerald is the most prominent.
They're fascinating. Lighter at the top and bottom, darker in the middle. The forest green creates a dark rim around them, bringing more attention to the striking emerald centre.
"Uh... hello? Zak?" He snaps his fingers in front of my face, causing me to jump. "Awh! Sorry! You zoned out. What were you saying about the two separate people?"
A blush creeps across my face, staining my cheeks a pale pink. "Oh um- yeah about that." I run a hand through my hair awkwardly, laughing off how I was lost in his eyes.
"The two separate people. There's two people with the notebooks. Me, and you. I love this boy, and you love..."
I trail off, realising what I'm presuming. There is a third theory, but I'm not sharing it. It's probably the closest too.
My third theory is that the two separate deadlines are for two separate crushes. The spirit said I fucked up, which leads me to thinking this is the closest to correct. Maybe one deadline is if I confess my love to Darryl, and one if I confess to Bad.
That'd be how I've messed up the system. Hanahaki is supposed to be one person, yet I'm in love with two. This hanahaki isn't like all the others. These notebooks play a part, making it different.
So what do I do?
Part of me wants to kiss Darryl. Just incase it stops it. Just incase it makes the pain go away. It could be over just like that.
Another part of me also wants to kiss Darryl, but for another reason. Ignoring the hanahaki, doing it just because I can. Doing it because of the perfect person sat opposite me. He's gorgeous, and I can't deny it.
That crush has always been there, ever since that night where he helped me. I couldn't believe someone would do that, that someone could be so kind.
We've spoken before sure, but never much. I knew nothing about him, about who he was besides that coffee shop boy who works the night shift.
But I want to know. I want to know who he is, I want to be around him. I want his comforting touch, to have more nights like that one. I want to kiss him, to know what he tastes like. Just for me. Not for those notebooks, not for the pain to stop.
For love. For us.
But I can't, and I'm not sure if I ever will.
Darryl is staring off just over my shoulder, probably at the window behind me. He' smiling softly as the rain hits against the window. His eyes are unfocused. Calm as he watches the world outside with wonder.
I'm jealous of how he looks at the world. He can see the good in everything, in everyone. That's something admirable, an ability I lost a long time ago. That's probably why he helped me, he saw the good in me.
I don't deserve him. I don't think anyone does. Same with Bad.
The thought of Bad shoots another dagger of pain through my chest, causing me to gasp and clutch at it. Both hands cover my heart, feeling the warmth of blood seeping through the bandages. I lunge forward for the trash can under my desk as the blood rises in my throat.
The clusters of petals aren't the same colour as they were this morning. They're darker. I search the room for Darryl, only to find he's not there. "Darryl..." I choke out his name with a hoarse voice.
The notebooks in the centre of the room are both glowing. They're touching, which is weird, considering I moved mine away. It's as if they're brought together.
The notebooks are glowing the same colour. Purple, the same colour as the writing on the front.
The books glow brighter, both numbers changing at the same time. The numbers are still the same, but have changed from a four. There's a new number on the front of both notebooks.
The number is 5.
~~~
-Darryl's POV-
I choke up the last of the petals into Zak's bathroom, spraying a couple across the floor. As quickly as I can, I clean up the mess.
"Darryl..."
I hear my crush croak my name from across the hallway, his voice hoarse. He must be sobbing.
Not my Zak.
I check I've the bathroom for evidence of my hanahaki once more, finding none. Then I run across the hallway, bursting into Zak's room. He's curled up into a ball on the floor, both hands pressed to his chest. His eyes are scrunched up, tears overflowing and dripping onto the carpet.
I pick up the sobbing bundle on the floor, carrying him over to his bed. The notebooks are faintly glowing purple, somehow closed despite being left open. Those things have a mind of their own. They're probably possessed by whatever creature haunts Zak's nightmares.
I sit down on Zak's bed, setting him down on my lap and wrapping him in my arms. Tears soak through my shirt as he buries his face in it and sobs. It's an awful noise, which only hurts my heart more. "Shh, it's ok."
His hands grab onto fistfuls of my shirt, clutching them for dear life. "It's ok..." I whisper over and over, running my fingers through his raven hair.
Gradually his sobs turn to whimpers, allowing him to breathe almost normally. He wraps his arms around my waist, causing a blush to rise to my cheeks. I'm so glad he can't see my face.
A trash can sits beside where Zak did. I can't see its' contents, but I can make out splatters of blood up the sides. His hanahaki must've kicked in at the same time mine did. Sadly, no flower petals are visible. I think about asking him, but the shaking boy doesn't look fit to answer my questions.
So we sit there for a few minutes, wrapped in each other's arms. The warmth of his touch is comforting, soothing the tension in the air. The past couple of minutes were a mess. Zak zoned out, and I started staring at him. My hanahaki started, so I ran out. Zak's must've too, causing the pain in his chest.
"How're the cuts?" I ask slowly, twisting a couple locks of his fluffy hair around my fingers. There's silence for a few seconds before he answers. "It hurts" he answers quietly. "I'm sorry Zak."
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just am."
"Well, I'm sorry too. Sorry for the trouble I've caused you."
He doesn't see what he's really done. His apology if for bringing the notebooks into my life, he doesn't see the other side. He doesn't know I have hanahaki, he doesn't know he's the one who caused it. He doesn't know how much it hurts me to do this. I'm choking every time we're together like this, even now. I can't enjoy these moments together.
Oh how I want to kiss him. But I can't. He doesn't love me. It'll only cause more pain. The moment would be overwhelming, exactly what my hanahaki needs to be tipped over the edge. It's on the verge of collapse.
To kiss him would be to kill me.
I sigh, smiling sadly to the ceiling as I tightly embrace the perfect boy in my arms. One day I'll kiss him without the pain.
One day...
—————
-Seven days until Zak's deadline-