Sleep seemed to be harder and harder to get in the arena, and by the time I finally dozed off, Emmit was nudging me, asking if I could take watch. With heavy eyes, I sat up and stared at the fake starry sky until the sun started to rise.
Emmit, now completely healed, seemed to be in his element climbing the pillar. I took note of how good he was with just about everything now. I was lucky we were allies or he would be a powerful enemy.
Technically, we're all still enemies. A true thought. Even if Emmit and I were together now, it would have to end. Should I just leave while I can? Or stay until we're the only ones left?
Leaving now ended up not working out as Emmit announce, "I'm going to do some fishing." The grumbling in my stomach forced me to agree. There was no way I was leaving before breakfast.
I sat around the pillar, polishing my only remaining knife and managing to get some of the blood off of it.
Just as Emmit said something about getting a fish, I trained my eyes on a hovering object coming from the sky. The silver parachute surprised me, considering how fortunate Emmit and I had been already. Three gifts in the last two days. Maybe these were the bonuses to being in an alliance.
Emmit didn't even notice the package from the Capitol. He was cutting into the fish he just caught.
Picking up the box, I realized it was very similar to the medicine Emmit had gotten yesterday. Almost identical, except the liquid inside felt a little heavier, and there was a note attached to it.
I was about to tell Emmit, figuring it was his, when the name on the note caught my eye. Sariel was scrawled across the bottom.
Confusion and some slight anger that Sariel had give Emmit a gift when he was supposed to be helping me hit hard. I was about to throw the gift into the ocean when I took the time to really read the note. It was addressed to me.
Noah, there aren't many tributes left in the arena. Maybe even less after I'm sending this to you.
I wondered for a moment if Sariel thought I really didn't know this. Of course not many people were left. The Hunger Games would have to end eventually. This thought, though, made my stomach turn. What was Sariel getting at? I read on.
I remember being in your position. Left in an alliance when it was nearing the end, unsure of what to do. Afraid that if I killed my ally, I would look like a monster.
Sariel was giving me a pep talk? Now? About how to kill Emmit? Although I hadn't even really thought about killing him, I knew it would have to be done. He was likely to come after me before I even had a chance to escape. So what did Sariel have up his sleeve?
In short, this is me giving you my approval to kill him. You don't have to, but I don't want to be the thing that stops you. My opinion of you won't change because of him or any other tribute you need to kill. The gift attached is yours to use if you so desire. It's a capsule of poison. Use it well. I'll be cheering for you.
Sariel
As I set the note and bottle down, I felt a mixture of sadness and shock. Sariel had sent me that? Because he thought I couldn't kill Emmit on my own?
And yet at the same time, he knew me better than I knew myself. If the time had come for me to bring a knife to Emmit's throat, there was a good chance I would hesitate. Hell, I had already hesitated to kill him.
This gift was Sariel telling me that I couldn't think about it anymore. I had to kill, no matter the consequences. And when I made it out of here alive, I wouldn't need to worry about Sariel's opinion of me. That was enough for me to pull it together as footsteps plummeted behind me.
Quickly wiping off the tears that had formed almost on their own, I shoved Sariel's note into my pocket and turned to see Emmit.
"I got a few more fish," he said with a smile that faded as soon as he saw my face. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said, hoping I sounded more sad than guilty. "I was just...well, thinking and stuff. It's not important."
Emmit nodded, making me think he believed it well enough. I could pass for a weak little girl when I needed to.
"Uh, a parachute came," I announced before I thought better of it. I had basically just announced I had a weapon to kill him.
"What is it?" he wondered. Before I could think of a convincing enough reply, he answered the question himself. "More medicine from Mags?"
"Yeah," I replied quickly. "Exactly what it is. The same stuff as yesterday. It must require, like, a second dose to fully heal your ankle."
If Emmit doubted what I had just said for even a second, I was completely screwed. He would no doubt strangle me on the spot. However, no recognition came through his features.
"That makes sense," he decided. I tried not to audibly sigh as I had to keep up the charade just a bit longer.
"So, you'd better take it," I tried forcefully. The faster this was over, the better.
"We can at least have the fish first," Emmit pointed out.
"No! I mean, you were throwing up the last time. Eating would be stupid."
He nodded once again. "Smart thinking." He just complimented the girl about to kill him. I said nothing, but handed him the cup. My fingers were shaking, but Emmit took no note of it.
I was lucky Emmit had been so out of it the last time I gave him his medicine. If he even smelled this, he would recognize the difference. He didn't, though. Instead, he pinched his nose and took it all down in one swallow.
I felt my stomach twist in knots of guilt. What had I just done? What had Sariel done? I could've stopped him, told him the truth. He was going to die a painful, long death because of me.
Why couldn't I have just killed him when we met?
For a second, everything seemed perfectly okay. Emmit tossed the cup on the ground and wiped his mouth. I was beginning to think that I hadn't given him poison at all. "So, you want to go have some fish?" he asked.
I was about to say yes when his scream of pain cut me off. I ended up gasping as he threw himself to the ground, folding up into his stomach. He screamed again, and I knew better than to ask if he was okay. He was dying. At my hand.
His screams continued, sounding more hoarse as I hurried away from him. Who knew how long it would take to kill him. He could be screaming all night. Thinking I wouldn't be able to deal with that, I rushed over to our camp and pulled together everything I could. Sleeping bags, climbing gear, still warm fish, everything was pushed into my bag.
I tried talking to myself over Emmit shouts of pain. I thought I heard my own name, but I wouldn't let it register. This was what had to happen.
After pulling everything together with shaky hands, I knew I had to leave. Anymore of Emmit's screaming, and now upchucking, would drive me mad, and he was making quite the scene. If another tribute, one of Emmit's friends, came over here...
Before I dove into the water, I took Emmit's trident in my hand. He wouldn't need it anymore. Then I ducked my head underwater and watched as fish scattered at the sight of me. Even they knew I was a killer now.
I swam for a while, not with any particular pace or direction. I kept going, even after my muscles ached and a cannon boomed. Emmit was dead now. Thanks to me, and thanks to Sariel.
After I exited the water, I rested for a while on a pillar. I was sure my heart would never stop thumping this loud.
My thoughts were no distraction, either. Even thinking of Sariel was becoming dangerous territory. I kept seeing Emmit curled in a ball, the empty cup of poison by his side. Sariel smiling at me, looking proud.
I wondered what Emmit's mentor, Mags, thought of all of this. Surely she wasn't happy with Sariel, handing me such a cheap shot. And here she thought Emmit was smart. Anyone who was really smart would know not to trust anyone in the arena.
But you trusted him. I suppose I was lucky I got to him before he got to me. As usual, my luck was the last thing I had to spare.
So, I had killed off the boy that was no doubt the Capitol favorite. Where did that leave me? I was probably not going to be getting many more sponsors any time soon. It seemed I was down to my own willpower to win this thing. But I had left my morals behind yesterday when Saira ended up dead by my hand. I was ready to finish this very soon.
I scarfed down a fish, even though I could barely stomach it when I thought about how fish was Emmit's last word. I ate some fruit, too, but it wasn't as good today. I was sick of arena food, sick of this whole existence. I wanted my normal life back, whatever that was. I wanted my dad, JT, Tiberius and especially Sariel back. I wanted out.
Drawing up a map in my head, I counted off who was left. Laurel, Sai and Ciruss. Just the four of us. What were the chances any of them would kill each other before I had to? Probably unlikely, though Ciruss was on his own. I assumed they still had some sort of deal about keeping each other alive, though.
That would leave any sort of killing to me.
More than likely, they were more experienced in the field of killing than me. I had killed, what, two tributes? One by brute force and one by chance and Sariel's faith. Still, these games had to end. I could feel the end nearing. I wanted to be there to see it.
Although logic stated that killing one tribute would be easier than killing two, I had Emmit's knowledge stored away of these tributes. Ciruss was a big guy, strong and well trained, and already pissed at me for killing Saira. I was well aware he and Emmit weren't on good terms either. Basically, a recipe for disaster.
Laurel and Sai, on the other hand, were much more basic targets. Neither of them were particularly forceful, and if I was lucky they were still together. Laurel was probably my biggest threat, considering she had all the training Ciruss had. On the other hand, Sai had already tried to attack me. Granted, it was without a weapon and didn't do much damage, but it proved he was willing to fight me.
What I needed was an opportunity to strike, some time when I knew I would be stronger than them. When the water went down? I had no guarantee they couldn't swim. While they were sleeping? Again, I didn't know if they were even sleeping anymore.
However, there was one time that would definitely effect them. When the Capitol anthem sounded tonight, it would show a picture of Emmit, joining the dead tributes. Both Laurel and Sai had been allied with Emmit until three days ago. They would no doubt mourn his death, at least for the night, before deciding to take revenge. That was my window.
With only a few hours until the sun set, I still had a lot to do. First off, finding Sai and Laurel without being too obvious. And then, deciding who to kill when. How would Laurel react if she watched me kill her only remaining friend? Would Sai pounce on me if I stabbed Laurel?
I let my planning take me away as I got ready by polishing Emmit's trident and eating more than I had originally rationed. I figured it was okay, since I would be dead or in the Capitol within the next few days. What did I have to lose, really?
The sun sank faster than I thought. It only fueled my belief that this was definitely it. If someone didn't kill, they were clearly planning to push us together until it happened.
I was prepared to act without being forced.
In my head, I crossed off all the areas that Laurel and Sai couldn't be in. Where Ciruss was last, where Emmit and I had traveled to, where I was now. It still left about half the arena, but as soon as the water drained, I was prepared to go as far as necessary.
The anthem sounded as soon as I reached the ground. Sure enough, a smiling picture of the Emmit I had nearly forgotten appeared in the sky. All I could see when I thought of him now was his dying body, curled up on a pillar.
Gripping his trident a little tighter, I marched forward. Surely Laurel and Sai were only going to be so careful. As soon as they slipped up, I would find them.
Along my spiraling path through the arena, I let my thoughts wander. How would Emmit feel about me keeping his trident? I imagine he would allow it, although maybe not if I was planning to kill his friends with it. Then again, he and I had been friends, hadn't we? Well, up until I poisoned him.
Friends in this arena seemed to be a relative term anyway. One way or another, you were going to leave these people. It was up to you whether you did so on your feet as you marched away, or if you did it when you bled out, or if it happened when you were taken away on a Capitol hovercraft so you could receive your crown.
Did people really win these Games for the crowns and riches, though? For the fame and the crowds? I couldn't see anyone escaping this arena and finding joy in money anymore.
Maybe when, or rather if, I escaped, I wouldn't even find joy in people. Maybe I only fell in love with Sariel because I knew he could help me, give me the push I needed. Maybe all I cared about was survival.
My thoughts got cut short by a loud sob not far away. When I listened closely, it melted into soft sniffles that I began to creep towards. By the time I was on my way over, I forgot what I was even thinking about. All that mattered was that someone was nearby. I gripped Emmit's trident a little tighter.
I noticed the shadow from the Cornucopia loomed over our heads. I was too far west now for it to be Ciruss. So, I was about to approach my targets. Without much of a plan, and only a trident and a knife.
I swung around the edge of the pillar, still remaining close to it, looking frantically for any sign of life. Under the light of the fire from above, I saw a hunched figure kneeling in a bed of sleeping bags. Another supposed figure was nearby, lying down and probably already asleep.
I quickly assessed my options to myself. One: Attack them quickly and escape. A little risky considering there were two of them, but both had their guard down. Two: Approach them peacefully, attempt to win their trust, and then kill them. Also risky because there was no guarantee they would even give me enough time to walk over there.
But from past experience, it was quite obvious talking to people I didn't like wasn't my strong point.
In a split second, the decision was upon me. I dug my feet hard into the concrete bottom of the arena and kept going until I was just feet away from the two figures.
Laurel, the one that had been awake and crying, looked horrified the moment we made eye contact. Her eyes flashed from me to the trident in my hand with obvious recognition.
In the moment it took me to get a few steps closer, Laurel had bounced to her feet. I watched as she dug her foot into the person on the ground. Clearly that was her way of calling for back up.
I stopped just short of pouncing on her, unsure if I was supposed to launch the trident at her or stab her with it, or if I should just give it up and pull out my knife. Another second passed, and Laurel suddenly tensed up. I made the quick decision to just stab and once again I charged her.
I had obviously given her too much time to prepare. When I launched myself, she easily side stepped me, and I landed on top of a dazed boy in a sleeping bag. Sai.
As I fumbled to me feet, I stole a glance at him. He looked scared out of his mind, but he definitely knew who I was.
I was faster than him to stand up, and by the time he was even on his knees, I had the trident pressed to his neck.
Before they gave me a chance to think about what I was about to do, I was hit hard in the side. My weight was thrown off of Sai and I ended up hip first on the hard ground.
My face burned with instant pain, but the fact that I had reopened my stab wound was the least of my worries. There was a crushing pain in my side that hurt to even lean on.
Broken rib, probably.
I struggled to my feet, feeling myself hunch over even as I faced Sai and Laurel yet again. This time, they were both standing and holding weapons. It didn't matter. I could take them. The pain couldn't stop me. I was invincible.
Or so I told myself.
I took two steps away from them, allowing myself some space to breath. Reaching into my waistband, I retrieved my final, lucky knife. I balanced it in my palm, as I always did before I had to make a hard shot. Moving targets were nothing new to me. Just because the target was about to charge at me meant nothing.
In one fluent motion, I swept my arm backwards and then brought it forward again, letting the knife slip through my palm. For good measure, I kept my arm going until it was by my side again.
For a moment, the motion hurt my ribs too much to even see what I had done. After a short black out, I blinked it away and found the knife buried into Sai's palm. He had probably thought he could block it. Well, it missed his face, anyway.
There was a loud, harsh scream as Sai let his weapon, a long sword, clatter to the ground. He gripped his hand, and I saw that the blade had managed to cut all the way through.
I wondered to myself if he would be smart enough to pull it out.
My attention was quickly snapped away from Sai as Laurel, eyes filled with hate, started towards me with no real purpose except to cause me pain.
It was my turn to side step her, but she simply stumbled forward before catching herself. The long knife she carried nearly fell out of her hand, but she managed to keep that balanced, too.
As Laurel turned back to me, recovering from her miss, I closed the distance between us in three easy steps.
Using the non-pointed end of the trident, I tripped Laurel before she had time unleash her knife on me.
She hit the ground with a thump. I took the opportunity to place myself on top of her by shoving a foot into her shoulder.
With no time to waist and Sai not far away, I got ready to send Emmit's trident into her neck.
Just before attacking, I stole one final look at Laurel, the girl everyone seemed to be talking about. She wasn't much of anything special now, just a sad girl who bit off more than she could chew.
Her eyes were bloodshot red, maybe from lack of sleep but more than likely from spending half the night crying.
I heard a small plea in the back of my mind to let her live, that this wasn't right and that no one should die in the state she was in. Whether or not that voice was right, I had to blow it off. There had been too many second chances given in this arena. Too many wasted opportunities already.
Laurel didn't even bother asking me to stop as I swung the trident over my head. She had already accepted her fate and was ready for it. I accepted it too.
As soon as it had gone in, I yanked the trident back out of Laurel's neck. It returned covered in blood, but I ignored it as I turned to face Sai. My rib was burning all over again. I needed to end this soon.
Sai was only now managing to make it to his feet. He had the knife out of his hand, though he had been stupid to toss it to the ground.
I knew if I just left him there, he would no doubt die on his own. Blood loss wouldn't take long to do it, really.
Just as I was considering whether or not to do it, Laurel's cannon let out.
Sai, without any other influence, fell to his knees as if forced. I stopped in my tracks, watching to see what he would do next.
Gripping his wounded hand, he let out a ragged sob. I was about to kill him, and he was sobbing like a baby. The scene made me loosen my grip on the trident.
After a while, the crying finally stopped. I remained staring at Sai, unsure of what to do. Before I could make any decision on how I even felt about him, he rose to his feet. He lunged at me, faster than I could comprehend. The trident rattled out of my hand and we both ended up on the ground.
What a coincidence that we were just feet below the location of our first meeting, on similar terms.
Immediately I was aware that Sai didn't seem intent on killing me. If he had, his hands surely would've been on my neck by now. Instead, he was simply shaking my shoulders, causing me to hit my head a few times. I figured this meant that he really just had some anger to get out and didn't really want to be responsible for anyone's death.
After Sai finally wore down, I shoved him off of me. No where near my breaking point, I jumped to my feet and raced to retrieve the knife and trident. To my surprise, Sai hadn't even moved from the ground. I stood ready to fight him, and he just lay there. Should I kill him now? He was sort of asking for it. What else could I do?
But, it was almost too sad to do. Kill someone who had lost all hope, lost everything he loved because I had killed it. How could I stand to take the last thing he has away from him?
This is me giving you my approval to kill him. You don't have to, but I don't want to be the thing that stops you. My opinion of you wont change because of him or any other tribute you need to kill.
Sariel's note echoed in my mind. It was still in my pocket, beckoning me on. I couldn't think about this boy's life. I had to think about my own. And right now my life depended on the knife in my hand.
I marched right over to Sai, trying to look serious, or bored, or anything but regretful.
He opened his eyes but quickly pressed them shut again, unable to watch his own death. I didn't want to watch either.
Under my breath, I muttered a quick sorry, intended for everything I had done in the arena, including what I was about to do. I didn't know if the cameras heard it, or if they even cared. Still, it made me feel a little better.
I rose the knife high over my head, pressed my eyes shut for a moment too long and then jammed it straight into Sai's heart.
He gasped, but made no other sound besides that. The impact must've been immediate, because a cannon sounded seconds after. I sighed, only to myself now, and worked on prying out my knife without looking too closely at what used to be Sai.
I grabbed what I came with, just a pack by the original pillar and the trident. I discovered a pile of bags and sleeping bags not far away from us, so I went over to them.
By the time I dug through Laurel and Sai's bags and traveled across half the arena again, the sun was already beginning to rise and water puddled at my feet.
I followed my usual routine of getting to the pillar, wondering just how many times I would have to do this. Probably not many. That was a good thing, right?
This time, however, I matched with a sharp pain every time I had to put weight on my chest. The rope around my rips hurt unimaginably, making the climb sloppy and painful.
When I reached safety, I started to wrap my ribs as best I could, using medical tape from Laurel and Sai. Although it still hurt, I could successfully rest without much pain.
It was just me and Ciruss left now. The only remaining tributes. One of us would have to win. I needed it to be me, but I knew Ciruss wasn't going down without a fight. There would be no tricking him, no guilting him into it. I would have to take his life with my own hands.
Without meaning to, I let out a yawn. A night full of action with no sleep had taken a lot out of me. Would the people of the Capitol manage if I took a quick nap?
Eh, what did I have to lose? There might only be so many naps left for me. Better use them now. With that, I curled into a stranger's sleeping bag, gripping an old friend's trident, beneath hands that would always be mine and dozed off in an arena that belonged to no one.