Authors Note:
This is my longest chapter yet and I love it sooo much. I'm very proud of myself for it. I wrote it while listening to Turning pages, which is the song attached to the chapter. I also stayed up all night and didn't sleep whatsoever to get some chapters finished in both my books. I have the next one finished in this book as well and can't wait to post it! Should I post it early with this one? I hope you're happy with this one. I suffered without sleep for around 36 hours to bring this to you. It took a lot of songs by Birdy and Sleeping at last to get me through it. And here it is!
•Phoenix•
I can hear a few things.
Stuff like birds and my breathing and my heartbeat. Oh and crickets. Lots of crickets. Their weird chirping sound is everywhere.
I can't open my eyes. I'm laying completely still. After a few moments I'm finally able to tear open my eyes.
Where am I? Why am I here? How did I get here?
It's pitch black other than the white rays that land in dots across the ground. I look up and in the pale light I can make out trees. A forest.
One question down, two to go. Now, how did I get here?
Was I taken here? I know I was passed out, that's why I had trouble moving, but did someone knock me out or did I pass out on my own?
I passed out on my own. I would think that I'd remember if I had been kid napped.
So that still leaves why. Did I hit my head or something when I collapsed? I can't remember... My head does hurt though.
I sit up a bit fast and it kinda makes me dizzy. I sit for a few more moments just trying to stop my surroundings from spinning. Once I regain my balance, I stand up.
So it's night, and I'm in the middle of a forest that I don't recognize and my head hurts. Could this get worse? Oh yeah, I also don't know why I'm here.
I hate this.
I stand there just looking around for about a minute. How am I supposed to pick a direction to walk? I could get even more lost.
I wonder if my steps are retractable.
My stomach growling stops my thoughts.
Come to think about it, I'm thirsty two.
I gotta get out of here before I become hungry enough to eat the grass, because actually, I'm almost to that point.
I start taking steps, making my way through the woods.
☕️☕️☕️
I've been walking for thirty minutes.
I think I've gone in a circle or something because there's no way out. Did I really run that far?
Run! I ran here! That's how I got in this place!
Well, I guess I've answered how I got here. I wish I knew where I was going! I'm so hungry! And thirsty.
In movies people get water from inside trees. I'm tempted to try it.
I keep going but still, nothing looks familiar.
I hear a stick crack behind me, making me jump and spin.
It was just a squirrel. But when I spun, I cut my arm on a thorn bush. I've always loved the dark, I think I'm changing my mind. The cut stings pretty bad but I ignore it.
I wish I had my jacket so I wouldn't be frozen.
Right about now would be the cliche moment for a coyote to howl. I laugh, thinking about it.
As I'm walking around, my memory is resurfacing. How I ran away because Luca kissed Missy. I'm so mad at Luca! I thought he might actually care for me... I hate him! The worst part is I still love him... I know he's still a friend. He's probably worried about me being gone. The only reason I know this is because when I left, I can clearly remember his stone gray eyes. They looked heart broken. Their Normally emotionless. He's impossible to get through to with these kind of things, but yet he seemed so broken.
I wanna go home. I want to be back in the stone house wrapped up in Luca's strong arms, where I'm safe.
I don't know why I still think of him as safety when he's the reason I'm out here. But he is. He's the only place in the world where I'm okay. And with him, I'll always be okay.
I wanna go home to him...
☕️☕️☕️
•Luca•
It's midnight. We still haven't called the police to file a missing persons report. Bentley said Nix would kill us all if she found out we brought the police in. Turns out, I'm not the only one who was in trouble with the authorities.
A Maria Joan is also in trouble. And what a coincidence, Maria looks a lot like Nix. I'm gonna have to confront Nix about Maria. That's a story I'd reallyyyy like to hear.
Everyone else in the house is asleep, I think. I won't sleep though. Not until she's home. I made a huge mistake. Now I understand why girls say boys are dumb. And I agree completely.
I hope she can forgive me. It's not likely though.
It's been three days. She hasn't been home in three days.
I think the cats out of the bag that I'm unconditionally in love with her. The fact that I won't eat, won't sleep, and won't do anything made that obvious. I'm a mess. I probably look like I feel.
I keep my door locked so no one will disturb my constant sulking. Laying on my bed doing nothing is boring, but I don't have the energy to do anything. (But I did take a shower. Trust me, I smelled bad enough that even I was bothered by it.)
My hair is loosing it's natural handsome glow and I think my 'cool' is long gone.
I turn on my side to look out the window at the moon. That gives me an idea. I have to literally drag myself out of bed and over to the window. I crawl out onto our slanted roof.
M parents decided that Nate an I needed separate rooms so they moved us to the top floor of the house. On the day Phoenix left they moved everything of ours upstairs as a surprise.
Sitting down on the shingles that line the roof, I look around. It's a pretty cold night and I'm just in jeans. I was to lazy to put on a shirt or anything else.
For about five minutes I sit there, freezing to death. I think I've got a fever or something from lack of anything healthy and this cold air.
I rarely ever leave my shirt off because I have a tattoo on my left shoulder blade. It's a tribal design that stretches up to my shoulder and down a little past the bottom of my shoulder blade. It comes close to my spine as well.
I haven't shown anyone the tattoo. The only people that know are me and the tattoo artist. It's nothing special. It's just a secret of mine. I'm always nervous about taking off my shirt for that reason and the fact that I'm not to keen on showing myself to anyone.
I hear my window open and I figure it's just Nate or my Mom, hopefully Nate, at least he won't blow up in me about the tattoo. I don't know how they unlocked my door but right now, I don't care. There's a couple noises in my room before I hear footsteps on the roof again.
Fingers lightly brush along the lines of my tattoo and I flinch slightly, surprised. I turn on them a bit mad that they broke into my room.
"Oh my god..." I can see the tears in Nix's eyes. "W-what happened to you...?"
Yep. I look like crap.
"Nix?" I'm stunned. I can't even move.
She's got my Lettermans jacket in her hand and she wraps in around my shoulders.
She looks out at the moon for a moment before looking back at me. She sits next to me, moving closer.
"I'm so sorry... I'm an idiot, a jerk, a douche... I could go on forever.... The point is I messed up and I'm so sorry... I don't expect you to forgive me but you have to know... I love you..." I mean every word that just came out of my mouth. I expect her to yell and be pissed but she says the three words that make my heart stop and then speed up.
"I love you..." She leans against me. I think she's to nervous to look at me.
She's shivering in the cold. She brought me a jacket but didn't bring one for herself so I begin to take it off for her.
"Don't take that off you'll freeze to death." She says and moves from my side. I think she's going inside so I start to get up. "I'm not leaving." She smiles with a laugh.
To my surprise, she moves to sit on my lap. She's sideways with her head in the crook of my neck and her arms around me. She speaks in a whisper, "your a mess, no offense. Were you really that worried about me? I was only gone a few hours."
"Hours...? Phoenix, you were gone for three days..." My voice cracks. What happened to her?
"I passed out in the woods. I couldn't have been gone three days." She stiffens and lifts her head to look at me.
"Phoenix, I haven't slept or eaten in three days. Trust me, I know how long it's been." I guess that was not a good thing for me to share because she starts to cry.
"You haven't... Eaten? Or slept? We have to get you inside. You'll get sick."
"No. Can we sit out here a bit longer? Please?" I didnt think I would beg to sit in the cold without a shirt on. Considering, it may not seem like it, but I'm freaking out about the fact that she's seen me shirtless and she's seen my tattoo. I'm so weird...
One of her hands traces over my abs and I'm literally screaming on the inside because I'm so nervous and insecure.
"A few minutes. But you need sleep and get food. We can get you something to eat downstairs and then you're going to sleep. If it'll help you sleep, I'll stay with you."
With out hesitation I say, "it'll help."
She smiles and buries her face into my neck again. I shiver, but not because of the cold but because She kissed my neck.
With her fingers that are on my stomach, she makes small circles lightly across my abs. She's driving me crazy. At first I didn't really like it because I'm so shy about that but as she continues I'm beginning to not want to let her stop.
Her other hand travels up my jacket and back to the tattoo. I flinch and she stops moving, making me slightly sad. I know she wants to see the tattoo fully. Or ask a question about why I flinched away from her touch. So I take one of my hands and slide the jacket off. "That what you wanted to see?" I ask her. I'm tense and she notices immediately because my voice hardens.
"What's wrong?" Her eyes drift to mine. "If you don't like me seeing your tattoo than just tell me." Concern stretches across her feature. Her beautiful features. God I love this girl. I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything.
"I'm going to start from the beginning just please don't leave me..." She knows somethings up.
"I'm adopted and well... I came from a pretty bad place. When I was little I lived with my real parents and every night, they beat me. I don't know why. Anger issues, bad day at work, the list is endless. It went on from birth until I was eleven. Every night. The state took me from my parents when someone sent a tip in to the police about the beatings. That's why I'm so nervous around you. That's why I flinched when you reached for my tattoo. I got the tattoo where I was hit the most. It's where I had my scars. It's my reminder." Her hands leave my skin.
"Please don't... I liked it... What you were doing... It's just habit that made me flinch. I need to get over my fear. I need to get it through my head that you won't hurt me. I'm begging you... Please don't treat me different. Like I'm fragile. Like a porcelain doll." I sigh knowing I probably just ruined any chance I had of her laying with me tonight or any night for that matter.
Her hand tentatively reaches for my chest, continuing the circular motion she was making on my abs. She leans up and kisses me lightly for a second. I want more, but I know better than to push her to kiss me again. She's already scared of hurting me.
"I still love you, Luca. Nothing you say or do can change that." She begins to Stand up. "You need food."
"Just a little longer..." I sound like a kid begging to stay at a playground.
"Tomorrow night. You need food and sleep." She laughs And picks up my jacket but before she can go all the way back to the window I pull her into my arms. We stand there for a moment before I let go.
"Sorry..." I brush my hand through my hair.
"Don't apologize. It was a hug. You think I didn't enjoy it?" She giggles reaching for my hand. She holds it and I help her get inside again before following her. She shuts the window and doesn't even give me the chance to get a shirt, she just guides me downstairs and into the kitchen.
When she sees that I'm uncomfortable without my shirt she stops and wraps my Lettermans jacket around me. She never set it down up in my room.
I give a small embarrassed smile. "Thanks."
She walks over to the fridge and out of no where, she throws me an apple. I catch it, barely. She pulls one out for herself.
Nix stares at me for a moment before taking a bite from her apple.
"What?" I ask, curious about why she was staring.
"I'm so stupid. I complained about my life repeatedly when I had no clue your story was just as bad. It was cruel for me to make you listen to my life when you had your own to share. Not once did I even think that I might not be the only one with a story." She chuckles.
"It's fine." I say as Nix glances down at her apple.
"Come on. Let's go back upstairs. We both need the sleep." I smile at her as I speak.
"Trust me, over the last three days, I got a ton of sleep." She laughs and I reach for her hand, guiding Phoenix back up to my room.
On the way up I realize that she had no idea my room had been moved upstairs. How did she find out? "How did you find my room? Last time you were in here, it was in the basement."
"The light was on. I guessed someone was up there and with a process of elimination it seemed most logical that I was you."
"Ah. And how did you open my door? It was locked..."
"You think I can't pick a lock?" She laughs. "I'm gonna grab a t-shirt. I'll meet you in your room." She smiles and starts toward her room.
"Why don't you use one of mine? Isn't it like every girls dream to sleep in their boyfriend's shirts?"
"You're not my boyfriend." She says as if that was obvious. I though that when we said 'I love you' that I was official.
"W-we aren't?!" She has me kinda scared now.
"No. You never asked me to be your girlfriend." She smirks.
"Fine." I get down in one knee for effect. "Phoenix Wood, will you be my girlfriend?" She laughs.
Her eyes light up. "Of course. And I would love to sleep in one of your t-shirts."
I open my door and Phoenix goes straight to my closet. I guess she's picking the t-shirt.
She comes out wearing my last high school soccer jersey and she's holding my batman jacket.
"You played soccer?" She sounds surprised.
"Get rid of the -ed on that and yes."
"You play soccer?! Why didn't I know?!" She smiles brightly.
"It never came up. And that's last years jersey. This years has a bit more design to it."
"I just wanted to inform you that sense this is last years jersey, I'm stealing it from you. Along with your batman jacket." She smirks and I take this time to look her over. In her blue skinny jeans and my long soccer jersey, she's seriously adorable.
"Why the batman jacket?"
"Because I have to steal one of your jackets to wear to school. It's a girlfriend tradition. We always steal the boyfriends clothes."
"So I guess it's kinda like a symbol of the guy claiming the girl. When they wear his clothes." I laugh.
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Then why don't you take my letter means jacket instead. That way, there's no mistaking the fact that you're mine. No one would know that the batman jacket is mine. They'd know the letterman jacket." I didn't think giving my letter mans jacket to her was that big a deal but she seems to think it is.
"Really...? Your letter mans jacket?" She picks it up from off my bed.
"Might as well. It matches the jersey." I smile and she runs up to me, hugging me. I don't ever want to let her go. It's like she's the center of my world and her gravitational pull on me is mesmerizingly strong.
"I love you." She slips the jacket on and my heart stops again. I see what she means about it being a big deal. She's really mine. And it sinks in at that moment. The girl of my dreams is mine.
"I love you to, Kitten."
The sleeves of my jacket go down over her hands because it's far to big for her, but obviously she doesn't care.
I change into shorts in the bathroom and when I come back out she's just in my jersey and her underwear, which i must say they match the jersey well. It catches me off guard and I tear me eyes from her body. I can't be like that towards her.
"Are you okay with me just wearing this to bed? If you're not, I can change." Nix says.
"I'm fine with that as long as you are." I smile and pull back the covers for her before I go over to my side of the bed. As soon as I'm laying down, she's got her head on my chest and our legs are tangled together. Her eyes are staring out my window at the moon again.
Slowly, I see exhaustion take her over and her eyes close.
I whisper just before she falls asleep, "goodnight, Nix. I love you."
"I love you to."
Authors Note:
FINALLY.
And I pleased that I could write a long chapter for once. That almost never happens.
This book is no where close to being done though. I have a ton more planned. ;)
~Neon