As we walked to his apartment, I start to think about what I'm going to say, like I could tell him what I've been through or just tell him the emotions that I'm feeling. We get to his apartment and already I'm feeling trapped, making me wonder why I even said yes in the first place. Though deep down I know that I should open up to him, and really everyone in the cast, I know they worry about me and can see something is wrong, like Kerry I know would be the mother figure I need in my life. While Adam and Rob I feel like would be more of the cool uncles you have in the family, and then Leslie would be the crazy aunt. The one thing I longed for was a good father figure, but I'm very wary of guys, I've only let Presley's dad into my life, but that's because he was the one who answered to door to the cops. Maybe this time with Alex will help me be more of myself around others, and I can start to trust people again. I hadn't realized how deep in thought I was until I heard a cough and
"You going to come inside, or just stare off into space all day?" Alex says with a laugh.
I walk inside his apartment with a blush on my with how embarrassed I was, when I get inside, Alex lets go of Kevin from his leash and instantly he's jumping on my legs.
"You can push him off if you want, he can be a little crazy sometimes. Are you hungry? Or want anything to drink?" Alex had started to ask me, and when he did so my stomach just had to let out the most intense growl ever.
"Just a glass of water would be fine." I say hoping he won't bring up how my stomach decided to make itself known.
"I heard what your stomach did, so we are going to eat something, now I don't have much stuff to cook with here, so I can order some food." Alex replies to me and starting to look at the different takeout menus.
"I could cook something if you're comfortable with me using your kitchen?" I say in a quiet voice.
"No, you are my guest, I'm not going to make you cook, we can order food." Alex say, trying to convince me, but I'm not going to let him win.
"How about if I can't find anything to cook something with, we order takeout, but if I do find something, you let me cook?" I compromise him with.
"That sounds fair, but I'll go ahead and pick something out for takeout since you wont find anything." He says with a confident smirk.
As I look around his kitchen I notice he has some fettuccine noodles in his pantry along with some decent spices, and all I can hope for is that he has some cheeses in the fridge. When I get around to the fridge I see he does have some cheeses and milk, which is basically all I need to Alfredo with. So when I walk over to couches that he had moved too, I decided to prank him, because from what I've heard, he likes to prank people, as I get closer to him I put on a defeated look, which doesn't go unnoticed by him.
"Looks like I've won this time kid, don't worry though, I knew there wasn't anything for you to cook." He says with a confident smirk, but turns into a look of confusion when he sees me start to grid.
"Actually I found stuff to make Fettuccine Alfredo with, so it looks like I won old man, now sit back and relax, because I'm going to make us food." I reply with a grin, and make my way towards the kitchen to gather the stuff I would need to make the food. Alex walks in behind me and just sits down at the table watching me move around his kitchen. I try to let it show that I'm nervous, since I've only cooked for Presley and her family, so I try to just focus on the cooking and not think about the past. While in my zone cooking, Alex is just sitting there observing me, I turned around a few times and see him watching my every move, so it makes me a little tense, and I wish I hadn't been because that caused him to start talking.
"Why are you always so nervous and tense around others especially guys? I've notice that whenever I would sit next to you in rehearsal's that you tense up, or you flinching whenever you run into someone, or when someone puts a hand on your shoulder?" Alex asks the question I've been dreading.
"Umm.. I don't know, maybe I'm just a jumpy person?" I instantly regret saying it, because he's not going to believe me, and I can only hope that either the food gets done or he does believe me.
"Lily we both know that's not true, I see how you are around Presley, you are a completely different person. You are more carefree, and not always looking over your shoulder, you don't need to be scared of anyone in the cast. Please just let us in, we just want to take care you, but you need to let us in." He says in a pleading voice, luck seems to be on my side for once because the food was ready, so I didn't have to reply right away.
"Um..... the foods ready now." I say in a quiet voice, not responding to what he said. I honestly needed to process my emotions, because I'm really close to telling him everything, and that scares me.
"Don't think you've gotten out of this conversation, we will continue it after we eat." He tells me and I see determination in his eyes, but something makes me feel like he knows something. As we start to eat, I wasn't expecting anything, because I think i'm just an ok cook, but I wasn't ready for Alex's reaction.
"How the hell did you make this so good? This is some of the best Alfredo I've had, I'm going to make sure you and I are signed up together for S.N.O.B. now. I would obviously help you, but we're gonna do it." He says with a mouth full of food, and I can't help but laugh a little and smile, that makes me think I might open up to him. As we are done eating, he tells me to go in the living room and relax, so he can do the dishes, which he wouldn't let me help. So I ended up just cuddling with Kevin on the couch, having an internal battle with my self, part of me wants to be open to Alex, but the other part is saying that he'll just end up leaving me when I tell him or he won't actually care. While I'm debating with myself, I didn't see him walk in and sit down on the couch until he spoke to me,
"So I said earlier that we weren't done with the conversation, so are you going to tell me what's really going on?" He says in a gentle voice, but all I can do is just look down at Kevin and pet him, I don't know what to say.
"Lily, you need to talk to people and let them in, you don't need to carry that weight on your shoulders, anyone from a mile away can see you're hurting. Please just talk to me." He continues on in a pleading voice.
"I can have Presley just tell you, if you really want to know." I say quietly still not looking at him, and starting to hug Kevin to me, because I just need something.
"Lily you need to be the one saying it, it's your story to tell, not Presley's and that's the easy way out. If you have her tell your story, you won't open up to anyone, you need to be the one to share your story, no one else. Now I'm going to go put Kevin up for a little bit, so that way we aren't distracted when either one of us is talking." Alex explains to me, so when he takes Kevin away I start to just overthink everything and try for a way to escape this conversation. I start to get up and walk quietly over to my stuff, and when I'm half way there I feel a hand on my shoulder turning me around and then two hands hold my shoulders keeping me in place.
"Lily! What are you doing? You said you wanted to talk and now you're trying to sneak away." He exclaims, but in that moment I can't tell who he is anymore, and the figure of my dad appears.
"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD, JUST PLEAST DON'T HIT ME!" I yell in a burst of tears and quick breaths. It was after this that the hands are removed from my shoulders, so on instinct I crouch down to the ground and try to protect myself from the blow that I know is coming. Waiting for the blow to come, I feel a panic attack start to come on, and right now I feel so scared and alone, until the figure says something that I can barely understand.
"Hey it's ok, Lily look at me, you're safe, no one is going to hurt you here, I need you to relax. Follow my breathing, in and out, in and out, in and out." the figure says calmly, trying to get me to copy his breathing, and that's what I do. It takes a few minutes for me to fully calm down, but when I do the flood gates open and I can't stop crying. As I lay on the ground crying my eyes out, I feel someone start to hug me and pick me up, but still not in the right state of mind I thrash out and try to get them to let me go.
"Lily! It's ok, it's just Alex, relax I'm not going to hurt you, please just let me take care of you. It's going to be ok." The figure, well Alex as it finally clicks in my head where I'm at and who I'm with, that I stop my moving around and instead clung to him, like I might lose him. It doesn't take long until I figure out where he's taken us and as we sit on the couch, with me crying my eyes out into his chest and him holding me, I've never felt safer. He doesn't speak to me, just pets my hair and holds me in his arms, allowing me to cry my heart out, he's just there for me. It's not until I'm done crying that he pulls away and makes me look at him,
" Lily I want you to know that I would never hurt you, I promise you that, I need you to trust me, please tell me what's going on." Alex pleads with me, making me look into his eyes, I see how serious he is and I know that I'll never hear the end of it. So I finally made up my mind and decide to tell him everything that I've been through, from my dad abusing me, to my mom never being home, to him killing her and himself, to me being suicidal and hurting myself, to why Presley and I are so close, to me living in orphanage that doesn't care about where I am most of the time. I literally told him everything about me, and he only pulled me in tighter for a hug and let me speak my heart out. I knew from this point on that our relationship had change, shifted in a way, and he knew it too, he's very protective of me and started to do some stuff that a father should've done.
A/N: Hey guys sorry fort he late post, I had a busy weekend, so here's the next part of the story!! I hope you guys enjoy it! :)