Draco made a noise of fury and concern.
"What is it?" Harry frowned.
"It's Mr. Weasley again," Draco responded, flattening the Daily Prophet so they could all see. The Slytherins within earshot leaned over, and Harry read the article quietly aloud.
"'Further mistakes at the Ministry of Magic. It seems as though the Ministry of Magic's troubles are not yet at an end. Recently under fire for its poor crowd control at the Quidditch World Cup, and still unable to account for the disappearance of one of its witches, the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antics of Arnold Weasley-'"
"I thought his name was Arthur," Blaise said indignantly, giving the twins a worried look.
"It is," Fred frowned.
"Keep reading," George said quietly, anger and anxiety on his face.
"'[Arthur] Weasley,'" Harry continued, furious himself, "who was charged with possession of a flying car two years ago, as yesterday involved in a tussle with several Muggle law-keepers ("policemen") over a number of highly aggressive dustbins. Mr. Weasley appears to have rushed to the aid of "Mad-Eye" Moody, the aged ex-Auror who retired from the Ministry when no longer able to tell the difference between a handshake and a murder. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Weasley found, upon arrival at Mr. Moody's heavily guarded house, that Mr. Moody had once again raised a false alarm. Mr. Weasley was forced to modify several memories before he could escape from the policemen, but refused to answer Daily Prophet questions about why he had involved the Ministry in such an undignified and potentially embarrassing scene.'"
As soon as he finished speaking, he turned to Draco. "Write Skeeter," he seethed.
Draco nodded and pulled out a quill. "What am I writing?"
"Tell her to paint Mr. Weasley in a good light," Harry said sharply. "It wouldn't hurt to remind people of what Moody did during his Auror days."
"What are you up to, Potter?" a voice snapped.
Harry turned with a sigh to find Granger and Weasley standing behind him. "And why would I tell you that?" he asked sweetly, causing muffled snickers from most of the Slytherins.
"Because whatever it is, it's against the rules," Granger said haughtily.
"First of all, no, it isn't," Harry sneered. "Secondly, even if it were, that isn't a reason to tell you. Go away."
Weasley opened his mouth angrily, but Harry had already turned away. He saw Draco and the twins tense and whip out their wands, and then-
BANG!
"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
There was a strangled yelp from Granger behind him and Harry turned to see Weasley on the floor ⎯ and he was a rat. The Great Hall burst into laughter.
Harry spun around to see Moody stomping towards them, his wand aimed at the rat. "Did he get you?" he demanded.
"No," Harry said with a snort, signaling to Fred. Fred pointed his wand at Weasley and there was suddenly a red-haired boy on the floor.
"Why'd you do that?" Moody frowned.
"ALASTOR MOODY!"
The Great Hall fell deathly silent as McGonagall came rushing over, fuming.
"We never use Transfiguration as a punishment!" she snarled. "We give detentions, or we speak to the offender's Head of House! If this happens again I'll be petitioning for Kingsley!"
The twins' eyes lit up, and Draco looked eager. Harry gave a slight smile; he liked Kingsley.
"I'll do that, then," Moody said stiffly, giving Weasley a sharp look. "Your Head of House will be Lupin, will it?"
"Yes," Weasley sneered.
"Mr. Weasley!" McGonagall snapped. "You shouldn't speak of your teacher like that!"
"He and Granger are homophobic, Professor," Harry said lazily, earning snickers.
McGonagall scowled. "Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, if I hear you've insulted any gay or lesbian couple I will have you both expelled."
Granger gaped. "Why?"
"Because I happen to be married to a woman!" McGonagall snapped. "Get to class!" She marched out of the Hall, leaving the entire school staring at her.
"Well, that was one way to come out," Draco remarked, and everyone laughed.