Olivia's P.O.V.
I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and thinking about Niall. I couldn't get my mind off of him. My thoughts always went back to him no matter how much I tried to avoid thinking of him. It had been a week since I went over to give Niall his keys back, and I hadn't heard much from him. He sent me a text on Monday asking me if I would come over and talk to him about the break up, but I declined the offer since I couldn't be around him without wanting him back. I hated that I believed him when he said he would change. If the change didn't last we would be in the same place. Hurt all over again. We could both easily go back into taking each other for granted.
"Kimmie! Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes!" I heard her walking towards the kitchen. She popped her head in the doorway.
"Harry is coming over for dinner. Did I already tell you that?"
"You did not tell me that."
"Sorry I thought I did."
"Thank you for inviting Niall's best friend to dinner."
"He's my boyfriend. Just because your relationship failed doesn't mean mine has to end." I just stared at her trying to stop myself from feeling any emotion. "Sorry. That was really rude. I didn't mean for it to come off like that. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay. You're right. This is also your house." She smiled before ducking back into the living room. I really didn't want him to come over but I knew Kimmie wanted to see him. Niall and I were the ones to set them up and they've been together almost as long as we had. Harry arrived a few minutes before I finished cooking dinner.
We all sat at the table and throughout dinner I felt like an awkward third wheel. It was awful listening to them talk as I pushed food around my plate. I also had to fight the urge to ask Harry if he knew how Niall was doing. I hadn't heard from him which is what I told him I wanted, but I still missed him. I just had to sit there and listen to the conversation I wasn't a part of until Kimmie brought up Niall.
"What all have you done this week Harry? Did you hang out with Niall any?" I looked up at Kimmie not knowing why she asked him that and she just smiled at me. I kept my face straight and looked back down at my food when Harry looked at me.
"No I haven't seen him. I asked him if he wanted to do something, but he said no. He seemed pretty upset actually. He didn't really say much and kept his answers short. He hasn't been as upbeat as normal." He was trying to get me to see that Niall was really upset, but it wasn't enough for me to go back to him. It only made me feel bad for leaving him when Niall was the one who should feel bad. Clearly he did feel bad, but I wasn't going back. I couldn't. I also couldn't listen to them talk about Niall anymore, so I put my plate in the kitchen and washed dishes. They came in shortly after with their dishes before they went in the living room. After I finished cleaning I started to go to my bedroom.
"Olivia you don't want to watch a movie with us?"
"No thanks I was the third wheel through dinner I think I'll just leave you alone."
"You aren't a third wheel. You are our friend."
"Thanks, but I'm still going to my room." I quickly got bored of being in my room with nothing to do, so I went out to get some ice cream. I saw Kimmie and Harry making out on the couch. "Good thing I went to my room right guys." They quickly broke apart not even noticing when I had come out of my room.
"Sorry Liv."
"It's fine, but if you are going to have sex please don't do it on the couch." She laughed and stood up grabbing his hand and pulling him off to her room.
"You might want to turn some music on or something. The walls are thin."
"I'll just leave. I'll come back later when I think you are done." I slipped on some shoes and grabbed my phone and my keys. I got in my car, but couldn't think of a single place to go. I drove aimlessly around for about ten minutes before I realized that somewhere along the way I ended up driving to Niall's house. I drove by the house a few times before I pulled in the driveway. I sat in my car staring at the door debating on going in or leaving. I didn't want to go in. I missed him so much and I wanted to know how he was doing. I needed to know he was okay. I was worried. I had talked myself out of it and was about to leave when the front door opened. Niall leaned against the door frame and softly smiled at me. He motioned for me to come inside before crossing his arms against his chest. I turned the car off and walked up to him because I couldn't leave now.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to show up here so late."
"It's eight. It's not that late. You are more than welcome to show up here anytime you like."
"I just didn't have anywhere to go. I didn't mean to come here." He nodded his head before moving to the side
"Well you're here now. Come in. It's cold outside. I'll make you some tea." He followed me in and I sat at the island in the kitchen. He just looked at me for a second before going to the cabinet where we kept the cups. "Not that I don't want you here or anything Liv, but why are you here?"
"Kimmie invited Harry over. I felt like I just needed to get away. I didn't have a very good day today."
"It's Friday that's your favorite day of the week because it's the start of the weekend."
"Well today wasn't great but I'm not here to talk about my bad day. I'm not even sure why I'm here. I should go. I shouldn't have come over. I picked up my keys and stood up from the island. The mental back and forth was exhausting and I'm sure it was for him too.
"Wait, please don't go. You can talk to me about your bad day. You can always talk to me. I forgot to talk to you the last few months and look where that got us."
"Don't put all the blame on yourself. We both took each other for granted. It's just that when I tried to do something about it you still ignored me."
"I'm not ignoring you now and I never will again. Please just sit down and complain to me."
"You want me to just sit and complain?"
"I'd rather have you here complaining than not have you here at all. Please just go on one of your rants. I miss them."
"You miss me complaining and ranting?"
"I miss everything. I didn't realize it until it was too late." I was trying not to comment on how nice he was being and tried to ignore how badly I wanted to come back to him.
"Fine. I'll complain. I woke up late today, so that's a bad start already. I had to take a cold shower because Kimmie used all the hot water. This one guy at work keeps hitting on me even though I tell him repeatedly I'm not interested. I think today might have been be rude to Olivia day because people were rude all day at work and even Kimmie was rude to me. I said something about Harry coming over she said just because my relationship failed doesn't mean hers has to fail too. I like Harry but I just didn't feel like having people over tonight. I didn't have any notice that he would be there. Then I was the third wheel all throughout dinner and Harry talked about you part of the time. Then I left because they were making out on the couch and going to have sex and I didn't want to hear it. I ended up here even though I was trying not to end up here. I was trying not to think about you since Harry had talked about you so much. I think I'm the only person who believes we are over."
"Wow." He set my cup of tea down in front of me. "That's a lot." I nodded my head now feeling bad I exploded and let everything out like that. "I'm sorry you had a bad day."
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I vented it all out."
"No it's good to get it off your chest. Most of it could come back to me if you think about it."
"Not true."
"I would have made sure you were up for work and let you take a shower first."
"Also not true. You always hit snooze on the alarm to try and keep me in bed. Well you did most of the time. None of my bad day is your fault."
"Yes it is. I always did try to keep you in bed a little longer but I would let you out of bed before you were late. You wouldn't live with Kimmie if I hadn't been a dick so you wouldn't have had to deal with Harry. None of that would have happened, but I have to say that selfishly it does make me a little happy knowing that you still think about me. Kimmie wouldn't have been rude about our failed relationship if I wouldn't have let our relationship fail. I can't do anything about the jerks at work, but most of it can come back to me. It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me."
"You are putting too much blame on yourself. Sometimes relationships just don't work out Niall."
"Usually people figure that out in a matter of weeks or months not after three years. I just made a mistake."
"We both did. Even if we were still together, and the rude people at work still caused me to have a bad day coming home wouldn't be better. I would be here trying to talk to you and you would be watching t.v. or on your phone ignoring me."
"You did end up here talking to me about it though. I'm not ignoring you am I? I'm listening, apologizing, interacting, and giving you all the attention you deserve. I'm trying to take your mind off of your bad day. We both used to do this everyday. I'll do it again."
"Thank you." I could tell he was really trying, and he felt terrible about the break up. He looked terrible with his disheveled appearance and bags under his tired eyes. He even looked as if he'd lost a little bit of weight. "How have you been Niall?" He just shrugged his shoulders and swirled his spoon around in his tea.
"I just kinda sit around here all day. I watch movies. Don't do much of anything really I guess I'm fine."
"Are you? You don't look like you get enough sleep."
"I don't really sleep much."
"What do you do?"
"I told you. I try to distract myself. It doesn't work. I just kinda sit around thinking about where we went wrong and how I can fix us. So far I haven't thought of any great plan on getting you back."
"You don't need a plan. We can't be together anymore and that's all. I'm sorry but that's how it has to be." He nodded his head, but I knew he wouldn't listen to me.
"Do you want to go watch a movie? Harry will probably be gone after the movie is over." I was hesitant but I agreed on watching the movie. I curled up on the opposite end of the couch from him with my tea. We watched the first twenty minutes before something happened that got us talking. We laughed and talked throughout the whole movie not even paying attention to it anymore. We were having such a good time we didn't notice when it ended. I finally stopped one of my fits of laughter and looked at the television to see it was on the menu screen again. I grabbed my cup and carried it into the kitchen. Niall followed behind me bringing his cup to the sink.
"It's getting late. I guess I should go home." He nodded his head and it seemed as if all the cheerfulness he just briefly had since I'd arrived left in an instant. I slowly made my way to the living room door. I felt awkward as I was leaving and I didn't really want to leave. I had enjoyed myself way too much. It was like it was the beginning of our relationship all over again and that was part of why I had to leave. I grabbed my keys from the table and Niall came up beside me.
"You know you can come over anytime you like. This is your house too. You have lived in it just as long as I have. You can call me or text me or come over any time you have a bad day." He hesitated a little before giving me a small hopeful smile.
"...or a good day or a regular day." I smiled back at him.
"I get it Niall." I hugged him and it lasted a little longer than it should have. We still had our arms wrapped around each other and I thanked him. "Thank you."
"No problem." I tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed his cheek as I backed away. He kept his arms loosely around my waist and kissed my cheek. I leaned back to look at him but I ended up kissing him. Not on the cheek. I got caught up in the night and cautiously pressed my lips to his. It was slow and gentle at first until I pulled him closer deepening the kiss. I could tell he was going off what I was doing making sure it was what I wanted. He was following my lead on everything. I put my keys back down on the table and we both knew I was staying a little longer. As I was slightly turned to the table I felt Niall attach his lips to my neck. I turned back to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and slid one hand into his hair. I let out a deep breath before his lips met mine again. His hands ran down my sides to my thighs. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms tighter around his shoulders as he lifted me up onto the table. He pressed his lips firmly to mine silently asking me if it was okay to go further than kissing. I kissed him back just the same and he smiled into the kiss. My hands slid to his biceps and my fingertips went under his sleeves. He copied me putting his fingertips under the bottom of my shirt. We broke apart for air and I kissed his neck. He took a deep breath before rubbing his hand up my back and the other around my waist pulling me closer. It felt so good having his soft lips and firm attentive hands on me again.
"Niall, let's go to the bedroom." I was ready to get off the table but as I tried he wrapped his arm even tighter around my waist. He surprised me by picking me up and carrying me to the stairs. I continued to kiss along his jaw and neck. I stopped when I felt him take the first few steps. "You better not drop me." He let go of me before catching me again quickly. I let out a small squeal and clung to his neck as he laughed. "Niall I swear if I fall on my ass..."
"You'll what?"
"I don't know. Just don't drop me." He pretended like he tripped and layed on top of me on the stairs. I grabbed the railing and started laughing as he kissed my collar bones slowly getting closer and closer to my chest. "You're an idiot Niall. I know you did that on purpose." He laughed against my neck and stood up. He ran over me leaving me on the stairs. I got up chased after him. I went into the bedroom and he was standing around the corner by the door. He scared me when he quickly popped out and scooped me back up as I walked in the room. He kissed me before he dropped me on the bed and climbed on top of me. I had missed this playfulness between us and I was enjoying every moment as if this were our last time together.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Don't ask me that. I might get some sense knocked into me and say no."
"No. I want you to want to be here. I don't want you to make an excuse about doing this. I don't want to say you did this just because you ended up here. Even if you don't stay tell me this is what you want. Even if its just for tonight."
"It is. I want this." This is what I had been wanting for months. Just to feel a connection with him. I kissed him and we undressed each other tossing our clothes to the floor. We were in such a hurry to get to each other that we didn't even need much foreplay. We knew each others bodies well enough to know how to please without teasing. He thrust into me and I matched each thrust with my own hips. He buried his head in my neck alternating between kissing and moaning as we moved together. I tightly wrapped my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer as I came. He buried his head deeper into the crook of my neck breathing hot air on my neck mixed with his quiet low moans as he came shortly after me.
He layed beside me and draped his arm across my torso. It had been months since we had sex with any feeling behind it and even longer since he had held me or touched me in any sort of way afterwards. We had sex twice over the course of three months. I was trying then to get him to realize we were falling apart. It was just emotionless and felt like a one night stand. This time it was better. Even with neither of us lasting very long and limited foreplay it was still amazing. I stayed with him for a few minutes before I tried getting up.
"Don't...don't go. Stay here tonight. Tomorrow is Saturday, so you don't have to go to work. Just stay. Please." I couldn't say no to his pleading tired voice. I layed back down and knew I would regret all of this in the morning. He pulled me underneath him laying partially on top of me with his head on my chest. I pulled the covers over us and he leaned up and kissed my cheek before very lightly pecking my lips and I played with his hair. He kept his grip around me tight and I rubbed his back as he fell asleep. At least this way I knew he would actually catch up on some of his missed sleep.
I woke up before Niall and didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay while he slept, but I knew it would be easier for me to leave if I snuck out. I hated that I had to seem like I was just being stubborn and ignoring his efforts. I had talked myself into several good reasons I couldn't stay with him again. If he was awake I knew he'd be able to sweet talk me into staying longer. I carefully removed myself from him without waking him up. I put my clothes back on and left the house. I got in my car and sat there thinking about everything before I pulled out of the driveway. I knew I shouldn't have come over last night. I did and we had sex and I couldn't take it back. I didn't want to take it back. I felt terrible leaving and I just hoped that he didn't think we were back together because of last night. I realized there was a chance that I accidentally gave him false hope and I felt sick knowing how he would feel.