it was around 4 am when jj's phone started to ring. sloane sat up quickly the loud noise scaring her. as it continued to ring and jj was still knocked out she shoved him waking him up.
"what the fuck?" he said looking her. suddenly noticing the loud ringing. he picked up the phone
~~~
"hello?" he said his voice coarse and husky.
"jj. they found the boat." kie said clearly crying.
"what?" jj asked.
"the police. the phantom. they found the boat." she said trying to cough out words.
"the boat?" he said his voice breaking.
"the boat. nothing was in it. not the gold. not a body. why would it show up now? what does it mean? are they dead?" she said hyperventilating.
"kie slow the fuck down. breathe." he reassured her. "where are you?"
"the coast where the tents used to be." she replied
"okay we're coming." he said hanging up.
~~~
jj looked at sloane holding back tears. she pulled him into her. he pulled away quickly grabbing his clothes that were thrown all over the room. sloane did the same, she could see him breaking. she just wanted to hold him and tell him he was gonna be okay but he didn't need that now.
jj drove quickly heading to the coast where both kie and pope sat.
jj ran towards them pulling them into a hug. sloane followed closely behind although she stood to the side. she felt out of place. yes she was jj's girlfriend but they had shared trauma and that was something sloane would never understand.
she walked towards them kie quickly pulled her into the hug that they had continued to hold each other in.
as they pulled away kie leaned against jj while he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. sloane couldn't help but feel jealousy creeping onto her skin. she sat there in silence as they talked about all the possibilities of what finding the boat meant.
"they could be alive" kie said looking out into the water.
"they are alive." jj quickly responded.
"jj." sloane whispered.
"what sloane? you don't get it okay. you weren't there. when deputy shoupe walked up to us and told us that our friends were probably dead. you didn't sit in that tent begging for someone to help you." he said his voice breaking.
"j-" sloane spoke but was cut off.
"YOU WERENT FUCKING THERE."he screamed. "i don't even know why you're here." he said staring her dead in the eyes.
"jj dude chill out." pope said resting a hand on sloanes shoulder.
sloane stood up running to her car. she knew he was in pain but just last night he was not only telling her he loved her but showing it. he scared her and she didn't wanna be around that.
"sloane" he yelled after her. "fuck" he said punching the tree in front of him as she drove off.
as sloane arrived to her house, she immediately started to sob and did the only things that would take her mind of him.
drink. smoke. and clean.
she grabbed a blunt that was on the couch and grabbed the vodka sitting on the kitchen counter. vodka at 7 am? i think yes.
she started to pick up things around her. the couch was a mess from their many hookups. she picked up a sweatshirt, it was his. she brought it to her nose. it was exactly him. his smell. he always smelled of weed, saltwater, and a hint of pine. she cried harder remembering that smell.
she had finished cleaning and gone through two blunts and half a bottle of vodka. she checked her phone for the first time that day
'6 missed calls from maybank🦋'
'14 texts from maybank🦋'
'2 missed calls from kie! '
she ignored the notifications as she opened up facebook something she never did often.
DARBY PARKER 'one of my favorites of our family only missing ms.haven'
sloane's heart shattered at the post. her own mother was pretending she didn't even exist. sloane grabbed the bottle of vodka and took another swig. a knock startled sloane.
"sloane" the voice called sloane immediately recognized. jj. "sloane? please i know you can hear me. ju-just let me in." his voice was shaky.
sloane moved towards the door but stopped herself thinking about what he said. 'why are you even here?' she stumbled away from the door causing noise to erupt.
"sloane, baby. come on i can hear you. please just let me in." he pleaded.
sloane walked towards her bedroom slamming the door loud enough that jj would be able to hear. she knew she'd be hungover in a few hours so she pulled her trashcan next to her bed. it was around 10 am but they had been up since 4 and she was mentally exhausted and as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out.
she woke up around 6 o'clock immediately puking, thank god for the trash can. once she was done she walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. she then walked to the kitchen and pulled the chicken that she had bought out of the fridge and started to cook it she also made rice to go with. once it was done she decided to go eat on the dock. as she walked out onto the porch the blonde was pressed against the wall silently crying.
"jesus fucking christ jj." she said as she jumped back his cough startling her.
"sloane?" he said looking up at her. his eyes were puffy and red. he was clearly high as well.
"there's chicken and rice in the fridge." she said walking towards the dock. jj ran inside and grabbed his own plate. he then proceeded to walk to the dock where sloane sat. he sat down next to her looking out into the water as he ate his food. he loved her cooking it was one of his favorite things about her. he had never felt more stupid than he did now. he hurt her and that was one thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. they sat in silence while eating listening to the waves. tears started to stream down sloanes face and jj noticed quickly.
"i'm so sorry." he whispered grabbing her hand softly.
"they don't love me. my own parents are pretending i never existed. the parents that fucking barely raised me. i raised their kids i made sure they were loved and fed and happy." sloane sobbed. jj grabbed sloane and held her as she cried. "i was my own mom. my mom didn't love me enough to even take care of me. she let the guy who raped me hang out with my siblings to torture me." she sobbed louder.
"i'm so sorry." jj said trying to console her.
"j. i know i don't understand what happened with you and the pogues and what you went through but i just wanted to be there for you help with anything i could. i am here for you. i love you." she looked into his eyes.
"i'm sorry i took out all my pain on you. i love you so much." he said pulling her face into his.
jj held her until she fell asleep.
A/N
this chapter is shit.
haha okay
hope everyone is having a good day.
xoxo lil