I smoothed my hands down the fabric of the restrictive dress I wore. The silky ballerina-pink fabric matching Kie's, hugged my body against my will. It's small, tight nature accentuating my breast, waist, and hips.
Kiara's mother, Anna, styled my hair half up and half down. I watched quietly as she tossed my long black-brown ringlets over my shoulders. As she placed rose petals in my hair, her fingers soothingly running through it, she mumbled that I looked just like my mother. I felt my heart soar at the compliment.
"This is disgusting," Kiara whined, looking at herself in the mirror. Anna turned from where she was sitting with me, flashing her daughter an annoyed look.
"I know. It's just horrible," Anna replied sarcastically. "I'm asking you to relax and go to a fun party."
I twisted my body and I smiled at Kiara through the reflection of the mirror, gesturing to her whole body. "I think you look lovely."
"I look like a bourgeoisie pig," she grumbled, turning around to face me and her mother.
"Will you please not worry about socioeconomic injustice for one night?" Her mother sighed, placing a necklace around my neck and clasping it in back.
"Mom, people not three miles from here have no power, no running water, and we're going to Midsummers. That's so tone-deaf."
I tuned out the rest of their conversation, taking this time to look at myself. Anna was right. I did look like my mother, almost identical to her as a teenager, although she was taller and more slender than I am. I bit the inside of my cheek, picking up a piece of my hair to twirl around my finger.
My heart rate hasn't slowed and my mind hasn't been at ease since I watched Luke Maybank beat on JJ. My mind constantly thought about him and the blood on that car window. And when I wasn't thinking about that monstrosity, I was thinking about the way he kissed me. I felt like hitting my head against a wall for being so harsh. I should've said anything else. I should've reacted better. I should've kissed him back. I wanted to kiss him back.
Anna stomped out of the room, the clicking of her heels reeling my thoughts back in. I turned to look at Kiara, who was already looking at me.
"Are you gonna tell me what happened today?"
I sighed, wishing she would stop asking me questions I couldn't answer. "I don't know why Pope got arrested, and I don't know why JJ–"
"No, I mean, why JJ wouldn't look at you."
I froze at her question. I wasn't ready to discuss this. I had barely processed the situation myself, therefore I didn't need someone else analyzing it. I shook my head, acting as if she was crazy. "I have no clue what you're talking about. I just didn't feel like getting teased today so I kept my distance."
Kiara narrowed her eyes, the caramel swirls looking into my soul, trying to get me to crack underneath the pressure. But when I didn't budge, she let out a deep breath, slowly taking her eyes away from my own. "Fine."
"Fine."
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Kiara was normally right about a lot of things, and she didn't start being wrong when it came to her predictions on Midsummers. I cringed at all the people wearing extravagant dresses and expensive jewelry, gushing about their lavish homes, and sipping high-priced liquor as I thought about what Kiara said earlier. She was right, people not three miles from here were struggling right now.
Kie and I stood off to the side, knowing this crowd wasn't meant for us. Once upon a time though, it could've been for me. Back when I first moved here and spent time with Sarah Cameron. But, I was glad that wasn't the case.
We spotted Pope serving oysters with his dad. As my eyes landed on him, my mind wandered back to JJ and his well-being. We approached Pope with our arms linked. Kiara smiled while I tried to smile, but the image of JJ's blood on a window left a bad taste in my mouth.
"Excuse me, sir," Kiara greeted with a phoney english accent. "Do we have to shuck these ourselves? 'Cause it might mess up our costumes."
Pope chuckled, performing a handshake between Kiara and him. I was never coordinated enough to learn one with anyone, so we just decided to scrap the idea when it came to me. Instead, I offered Pope a small wave. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?" He replied in his own accent.
"Your accents are horrible," I laughed, pretending to make a disgusted face.
They nodded, agreeing and promising they'd stop. "You ever seen this many Kooks in one place?" Kiara wondered as we turned to stare out into the crowd.
"Yeah," Pope replied with a snort. "Last year."
"We're in the lions den," Kiara mumbled. Pope and I only nodded our agreements. My eyes scanned the crowd, stopping on Topper and Kelce. I gulped, remembering the feeling of my fist hitting his face.
"Hey," Pope started. "Have you guys heard from JJ?"
Kiara shook her head, looking down at the ground. "No. But, he'll be alright. He's got the survival instincts of a cockroach."
"I sa–"
"It's my fault," Pope confessed, cutting me off. My sentence was forgotten as they continued to talk. I guess that was the worlds way of telling me to keep my mouth shut.
"You didn't do this, Pope. Topper almost killed you guys, remember?"
Pope nodded along with what she said just as the Cameron family emerged from inside, clapping erupting around as they walked. I felt sticky and hot at the sight of Rafe, my stomach clenching tight– and not for the good reasons.
"Lord Capital and the Exploiters."
"She's gonna poke somebody's eye out with that." I chuckled to myself at what Pope said, wishing she'd poke my eyes out with that so I wouldn't have to be here.
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As the sun went down, Kiara and I only grew more antisocial. Well, maybe it'd be more accurate to say Kie was talking to someone in the field of environmental engineering, while I stayed silent. I was desperately trying to keep my guard up and avoid Rafe, Topper and Kelce. So, getting deep into a conversation wasn't on my to-do list.
We watched as people danced, singing along and smiling. It reminded me of when I danced with JJ at The Wreck and the pure joy I felt doing so.
I excused myself from sitting on the wall with Kie, mumbling about needing to use the bathroom. Usually, Kie offers to come with me, but she was distracted by her conversation, only nodding to show she heard me. I went inside in search of the ladies bathroom, my heels clicking on the ground leaving me feeling satisfied for some reason.
I found it after a couple minutes of searching the large building. I entered the room, smiling kindly at the older ladies fixing their lipstick and eyebrows. I ducked into a stall, lifting my dress above my hips as I took a squat. I chuckled to myself as I peed, thinking back to what JJ said the other night about coming with me the next time I went to the bathroom.
It almost hurt to think of him being so carefree with me. I ran my tongue over my teeth as I finished my business. The older ladies were gone by the time I came out the stall, which I was glad for because my eyes were rimmed red as I struggled to pull my shit together. I'm such a fucking mess. I'm an asshole too.
I stepped out of the washroom, soothing my dress as I took a deep breath. Due to the sound of commotion from the men's room, I snapped my head in that direction. The sounds of muffled yelling peaked my interest as I took a couple steps towards the door.
I stopped abruptly as the door flung open for a minute. A security guard in a black tux held another boy wearing a busboy uniform, trying to usher him out of the men's washroom. My eyes widened as I recognized the boy to be JJ. Relief flooded my body at the sight of him. He's okay.
"–ask her how she likes my hands around her throat? I know that bitch is a freak in bed," Rafe teased, his voice filling the hallway. I watched in shock as JJ spun around out of the guards arms and charged at Rafe.
I stood completely still as the door closed. The guard who was holding it open rushed to break up whatever was happening in there.
"You think I'm afraid of you, bro?" JJ growled as the door swung open again. He still fought against the security guard, keeping himself planted at the door as he stared Rafe down.
"Safe travels back to the cut! Really nice seeing you again, JJ!"
"This ain't over!" He spat angrily. JJ stormed out of the room. His rage radiated off his body in waves as he approached, his head hanging low as he seethed. I felt intimidated by his presence, wondering if I were to speak, would he explode?
I gulped, swallowing my uneasiness. "JJ?" I squeaked, cursing myself in my head for the pitch of my voice.
His head snapped up, displaying the bruises and dried blood that adorned his sun kissed skin. His tousled hair fell into his face, casting a shadow over his eyes. At this point, I was positive he never did anything to his hair except run his hands through it. My face flushed as I was pinned by his stare. His eyes were dark and hardened, but softened only for a second upon realizing he was looking at me.
Then, it was as if he remembered my rejection as his face reverted back to an anger-driven expression. My brows furrowed as I inspected the damage, thinking back to every punch I saw his father throw. I wondered about every punch I didn't see, and if there was other bruises on his body that I couldn't see. I took a step towards him, reaching for his arm.
His dark eyes looked my body up and down, his adam's apple visibly bobbing as his eyes slowly made their way back to my face. My breath quickened as he licked his lips, nibbling at the swollen, busted skin there.
He was about to say something when the guard grabbed him roughly by the shoulder, dragging him towards the door. My eyes never left the back of his head as the guard pulled him. At that moment, I've never wanted JJ to look at me so bad.
Author's Note:
enjoy my loves <3 i was listening to rules by doja cat when i wrote the ending 🥵
xx juno