The songs I add before a chapter hint to the feelings and messages that will rise within it. It gives my characters a real voice. It brings them to life. All songs will be provided! :) And the playlist is on spotify!
S O N G F O R C H A P T E R : "Heaven"
B Y : FINNEAS
"EMBER!" The voice rings through my head, I feel like I'm falling and the next thing I know I'm on a bed. What now!? Who is going to hurt me now?! I frantically look around the room. I burst out into tears when I saw Corban looking at me with raw concern on his face. Not him, no, no, no, please don't ruin him!
He rushes towards me, and I scramble to the back of the bed, shielding myself from his view. "Ember, it's okay!" I'm in hysterics. Corban can't be ruined for me.
"This isn't real! This isn't real! This isn't real!" I yell, shaking my head frantically back and forth. God, I want this to end, I want to go back home! I want to go home!
"Ember! Ember This is real! I'm real!" I shake my head sobbing.
"No you're not! You're going to turn on me just like the rest did!" I cry, shaking my head. I won't be able to make it through this, but if the person tormenting me is Corban... I know I won't. My fist clench tightly and I feel a harsh sting. I let out a hiss and clench them harder. I feel Corban take hold of them, but I rip them from his grasp.
"Ember! No, I'm not! I'm right here..." I feel his hand on my exposed arm. I recoil back afraid of what might happen. "Em... breath. Hold out your hand for me, and let me touch you." His voice is calming, gentle. My crying doesn't stop, but I figure if I can get through this fast, then I can get back home. I reach out my hand, I'm shaking uncontrollably. I feel his hand touch mine and I flinch. He's going to turn any second now. His fingers slowly intertwine with mine.
"I'm right here." He whispers. I look up from my crouched position. Warmth spreads through my arm, coming from my hand... from his grasp, from our touch. The warm, comforting feeling I'm addicted to that is only possible with the real Corban.
I look at our hands then to him. Our eyes lock, and the world stops. His gaze is firm yet gentle, a silent conversation passes between us. I... I'm back?
"C-corban?" My voice is childlike. Tears once again fall down my cheeks. He sends me a warm smile... but somehow it looks sad. He's sad. He nods gently, looking to our hands.
"I'm right here, Em." He whispers, looking back to me. I burst.
"Oh god!" I cry, lunging myself into his arms. He is definitely surprised at first but recovers within seconds and wraps his strong arms around me. I'm safe. I'm with him, and he won't let anyone hurt me. He holds on to me tighter, kissing my forehead then my nose, then my lips. I pull back looking into his eyes. His warm chocolate brown eyes. "It's really you?" I question still scared that this is another trick, and everything still might fall apart.
"I promise it's really me." That's all it takes. I lean forward connecting my lips to his. His arms wrap around my neck keeping me close to him. I need to be close to him. It's as if a warm fluffy cloud is circling around us, holding me captive. I kiss him harder, and he responds. Tears fall down my cheeks, and I wonder how on earth I have any left.
We break, and he looks at me so deeply in the eyes. "I love you, Ember." My heart jumps, and I'm at a loss for words. Corban has told me that he loved me before, I even said it back... But this moment tops all of those. I find that even if I wanted to say something back, I couldn't. I was so tired. I still felt off from what I just experienced.
Corban pulls me into his embrace. Our bodies were tangled now, and I'm not exactly sure where his or mine began. He kisses my forehead, and I let out a shaky breath.
"Don't Worry About a thing. Cause every little thing, gonna be alright." His voice is barely above a whisper as he sings the song. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift with his soft words. He cradled my head against his heart. It made for the perfect metronome. I let his voice consume me and tune out everything except him.
"Rise up this mornin'. Smiled with the risin' sun. Three little birds pitch by my doorstep singing' sweet songs of melodies pure and true saying,' this is my message to you. Don't worry." He kisses me again and moves a stray piece of hair out of my face. I let out a sigh as I start to feel my tiredness take over. My body needed to rest.
"Sleep Em. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that." I nod drowsily. He loves me. A sleepy smile spreads across my face. Someone loves me.
"I love you, Corban." I whisper, and then sleep encompasses me.
♛ ♛ ♛
"Please be quiet." Someone whispers.
"We need to discuss what happened while she was out." Another voice says.
"Not here. Not now." I feel the person's chest I'm lying on vibrate. Corban.
"Now is the only time. We don't know what caused Ember's actions. No one screams for hours on end without a reasonable explanation. And no human can be on the brink of death one second, then completely healed the next."
"No one can endure something like that and talk about it minutes later." That's Corban.
"We all know that Ember is not no one."
"Of course, I know that. But I won't let you bombard her with questions unless she agrees. When she agrees, is when we can have this discussion."
"If we don't know what caused it, we won't know if it will happen again." The other voice is loud and pulls me more out of my sleep. I shift, and I hear Corban curse under his breath.
"Thanks for waking her up." I hear him snap at someone.
Groggily opening my eyes, my breath hitches. Corban leans down and kisses my forehead. "Sorry Em." He looks up, "Leave now. Unless you get direct orders from either the Alpha or me, don't come back." With that, Dr. Hagen and a few nurses, most of which I vaguely recognize, all shuffle out. I feel something shift at my feet and look down and see Dog sleeping peacefully against me. I let out a breath when I see him.
"Sleep well?" I shrug. My brows scrunch in confusion when I realize that I don't have a single scrape on me. How the hell am I in perfect condition?
"Em?" He questioned. He sighs obviously catching on to what was happening.
When I had first woken up I was so out of it and grateful that I had escaped my own version of hell, that the events and fight that Corban and I had leading up to it were nowhere near my mind. But now they definitely were. Corban notices my change in mood and looks at me.
"I am so sorry." He whispers. I don't say anything in return. I need to figure out what I'm even going to say. Corbans brows crinkle in confusion from my silence. "I'm sorry Ember. I can't apologize enough for what was said." I once again don't respond. He sighs and plays with a small piece of my hair.
"Ember..." He trails off in a whisper
"I know. You're sorry. You don't have to say it again." My voice was flat. I could tell we were on the verge of another fight and I wasn't sure I wanted that to happen. But I was upset. I was upset by what he said and how he believed that it would simply disappear when I woke up. It wasn't fair.
"Em." He says softly looking at me his expression hurt. I mentally scoff. He was not about to play victim. I can't let myself fall for pretty words and puppy dog eyes. I wasn't going to let myself fall like that.
"Did you think that everything was going to just disappear after I woke up?" I question.
"No. Of course not. I thought it would put things into perspective." Corban states.
"Perspective? Me dying is perspective?" I ask. My voice is calm. I don't let my emotions leak in. I put up a wall to protect myself. Corban sighs shaking his head.
"You know that's not what I meant Ember."
"Do I though?" Corban runs his hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. I can tell that he is trying to stay calm.
"You have to see things the way I did. You ran off Ember. You just left."
"Of course I left! Did you expect me to stay? I lived with someone who treated me like that all of my childhood. I finally escaped it and I will be damned if I get thrown back into it. How dare you introduce me to your father when you knew what he was like. You know my experience with mine." Dog stirs at my feet from me raising my voice. He sits up and watches me with his toung hanging out. I look away.
"That was a mistake. I admit. I'm sorry. I wanted to rip him to shreds when he treated you like that. I'm sorry, Ember. With every soul in my body." I scoff.
"I... I" My voice is loud I was getting angry but I couldn't finish my thought. He looks at me and stands up shaking his head. I can tell he is trying to figure out what to say next.
"You what?!" He yells, throwing his hands up in the air. I groan and shake my head. Dog whimpers and jumps off the bed and runs into the room attached to this one.
"I trusted you Corban! I cried for you! I just... I honestly cannot wrap my head around how you thought it was okay to meet your father when I had just opened up to you about my hellish one. It hurt. You hurt me." My voice is strained. Corban looks at me and pulls at his hair.
"How many times do I have to say sorry?! You have it set in your mind that I'm out to get you. And when I make one little mistake that's all it takes for you to walk away. You can't run when it gets hard Ember. That isn't fair."
"I can do whatever I fucking please." I state with a sneer.
"I can't believe this." He laughs shaking his head. "I pour everything I have into this relationship. I am always there for you. I stick to my promise and the only thing I ask is that you are just a little more careful. I don't expect anything else. It kills me that you don't put as much into us as I do."
"Then walk away. No one is stopping you!" I yell.
"I don't want to!" he screams. I scoff standing up so that I can face him.
"Be a man and know when something is over." I state. His eyes search between each of mine. The air in the room is so tense that you could cut it with a knife.
"This isn't over Ember! Why are you acting like it is?!" He yells.
"What made you think that?"
"What has you running away?!"
"Why can't you just trust me?!" He screams.
"Because I love you! And I want you so badly! I let you in and you threw aside my feelings like trash!" I yell. But I wasn't finished.
"Yet I still... still want you so fucking badly. After everything! It scares me to death how much!" He looks at me with wide eyes and before I can say anything else he cups the back of my neck with his hands and smashes his lips on mine. I gasp in shock and immediately pull back. I look up at him and see a fire dancing in his eyes.
"I love you Ember. So much." He states. "That's enough for me, but is it for you?" My heart races at his question. I wasn't sure of the answer. I wanted it to be enough.
Some small part of me knew this would happen. After I first kissed corban things moved at lightning speed. And I didn't mind. I had restrained myself from giving in for so long that it physically pained me. Now, I want every part of him.
I didn't know the answer to his question. But at this moment I didn't care. I let it be enough, and for the first time in my life, I stop thinking and just act.
No thinking.
I practically throw myself at him and his arms immediately encompass me. Heated passion quickly takes over as our breaths mingle together.
There is no thinking in our movements. There is no love in these kisses. Everything right now, is pure lust. We are both still angry, and I don't care. All I focus on is our frantic movements and his lips on mine. He breaks the kiss and I gasp for air as he sucks on my neck. I steady myself by grasping onto his shoulders and that is all it took for him to lift me up. My legs wrap around his torso and my hands still support me from his shoulders.
No thinking.
I pull off his shirt and kiss along his shoulders. He throws me on the bed and a breath escapes me at the impact. I pull him down so that he hovers above me. He continues his assault on my neck, then quickly moves back to my lips. I pull at the hem of my shirt and he is quick to get the cue and pulls it the rest of the way off. He looks over my form with a smile.
No thinking.
Diving back down he holds me captive and my heart beats like a wild stallion. Our bodys subconsciously move together and the friction starts a fire in me. I let out a gasp as his hand cups around my breast and he gives it a hard squeeze.
No thinking.
He leaves hot kisses down my neck and down my belly. His hands stay on my breast squeezing them firmly. The sensation has me squirming. I move so that my arm goes to cover them and his head snaps to mine. In one quick motion he holds both of my arms hostage above my head. And if I said that wasn't the hottest thing he has ever done I would be lying.
"You drive me mad Ember." He says huskily.
Our bodies frantically grind against one another, but it's not enough. I need more and if I don't get it I will explode. Without thinking about it. I reach for the zipper of his pants and fumble with it to get it down. He quickly comes to my aid and pulls his pants all the way off and mine immediately after. My eyes meet his for what seems like the first time in this entire exchange.
No thinking.
"Ember?" He says my name, it's a question. He's asking permission.
"I want you." I state.
Not a second later both of our undergarments are completely discarded and he assaults my lips again. My nerves are restless with anticipation. Hot careless intimacy takes over. His naked form against mine has me falling apart right here in his arms. Corbans arms move to either side of my face and he looms over me. A thin layer of sweat coats his forehead and his hair dangles slightly down in my face. He quickly positions himself then looks back at me.
No thinking.
I reconnect our lips and that's enough for him to slide into me. I hiss at the foriegn feeling. But he doesn't stop and pushes himself down further. I pull his face down so that he is kissing me. The pleasure mixed with pain is something I didn't know could be so euphoric. He pulls out then pushes himself in again. A breathy moan escapes my mouth and the action repeats over and over again with him speeding up over time.
By the end, I am a hot mess clinging to him and him to me. Fight sex was never something I saw myself doing, but I could say that it was the hottest thing I have ever done. Corban moves hair out of my sweaty face and places a soft kiss on my forehead. I look at him, expressing everything I can and he sighs. He lays himself down next to me and my arm wraps around his body keeping him close to me.
No thinking.
So hopeless.
♛ ♛ ♛
"You scared me." Corban whispers, drawing circles with his fingers on my stomach. I look down. After our moment of fiery passion things got real, real fast. It was sobering. But I don't regret what happened. After we got dressed we had to face the issue at hand. "I'm sorry." I whisper and I meant it.
It's true. Corban puts everything he has into this relationship and I only go half way. It's not fair to him.
"Thank you." Corban whispers with smile. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't underestimate you. It's not fair."
I think back to the argument a couple days ago and sigh. I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to because the answer scares me. I know I am not invincible. But I act like I am because I never feared dying. I never had anything to live for and no one needed me. It was insignificant as to whether I lived or died. So I just didn't care... but now I have something to care about. I have to learn how to live again, and I need to learn how to be okay with being okay. I shake my head at Corban's apology.
"No. You were right. I need to understand that I'm not invincible. And I need to put more into our relationship. I have to trust you." I whisper the last part, almost ashamed that I was doing it. Corban's expression gives nothing away. All he does is stare at me directly in the eyes, his chocolate brown orbs locked on my blue ones.
"I would appreciate that." Corban chuckles then takes my hand. "Em, you are the strongest person that I have ever met. I have never met someone with so much courage." He places a chaste kiss on my cheek and looks at me lovingly.
"I am sorry for everything I said. And I am sorry for putting you in a terrible position. I know that we fight a lot, but we are fighting because we care so much. I love you Ember, so much. Even when we are screaming at eachother." I smile.
"I love you too. I'm going to try harder, Corban. I'm going to for you because you deserve the world and and I want to be able to give that to you." He shakes his head with a smile.
"You already have."
"God you're hopeless."
"Hopelessly in love babe."
_______________________________
alright, alright I know it was sudden, but I think that it fits with Embers character. She is an all or nothing type of person so I think it fits. And also, I wrote it so I say it does. This isn't a democracy lmao. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
Please don't forget to vote and comment what you think!
Thanks lovelies!