{Warning: Homophobia at its finest. Also, this chapter is really sad and longer than usual so heads up}
C Y R U S
I was at my locker, putting my books away when I heard someone clear their throat. I turned to see Buffy and Andi, both with apologetic looks on their faces.
"Cyrus..." Buffy started. I turned my head and continued putting my stuff away. They could tell I was still upset with them but stayed where they stood. "We're sorry," Buffy said after a moment. I sighed and closed my locker, and turned to face them.
"We didn't mean to make you upset. It's just that when you said you were hanging out with Tj, we got worried for you," Andi explained. Buffy nodded in agreement.
"Tj is a colossal jerk, Cyrus. He made my life a nightmare in middle school, and he's never shown any signs of not being a jerk," Buffy said.
I shook my head. They didn't know Tj like I did. He wasn't as much of a jerk as they thought. I also thought he was a bit of a jerk when we first met, but he's actually a pretty great person after getting to know him. "It's alright, guys; I get it. You were just looking out for me. But I don't need guardians; I just need friends," I told them. They nodded quickly and embraced me in a tight group hug. I smiled to myself, thinking about how I had real friends.
It was such a change in scenery for me. Every time I transferred to another school, the kids either ignored or made fun of me, or I was never there long enough to make friends. It's not like anyone was in line to be my friend, though. The only person I was ever around for a long time was... I shook my head. I was so relieved when I was told I was getting put in a different home, which meant I was transferring schools again. I never saw him again after I transferred.
The bell rang, bringing me out of my thoughts as Buffy and Andi let go. We waved each other goodbye as we headed to class. I was walking to class when I felt an arm sling itself onto my shoulder. I turned to Tj, who was grinning widely at me. It made my stomach flip as I smiled softly. "So, I was thinking... There's a party tonight, and you should come with me," He said.
I shook my head. "Parties aren't my thing. Too many sweaty, sex-crazed teenagers drinking when they really shouldn't. Yeah, I'll pass," I said as we neared our class.
I heard Tj sigh beside me. "Come on, Cyrus. It'll be fun, and if not, we can just ditch and go back to my place," He gave me a pleading look. I was prepared to decline again until he poked out his bottom lip and gave me a sad puppy look.
I rolled my eyes. We reached Mr. McNamara's class and took our usual seats. The bell soon rang, and Mr. McNamara was quick to silence the class. As he began to talk about the lesson, I turned to Tj. "Fine, I'll come, but I'm leaving as soon as I get bored," I told him. He nodded happily and gave me a thumbs-up. I sighed as I thought about what I had just agreed to. I can't believe I was going to a high school party. I've only ever been to one, and that was freshman year with my "friend" at the time.
I ended up having a little fun until the night turned into a nightmare when Jackson showed up. He managed to stop the party and get everyone's attention on me. I found myself involuntarily thinking about the whole situation.
I looked at myself in the mirror, debating if what I was wearing was good enough for a party or not. I stood for a moment before hearing a groan from my bed. I turned to glare at the person.
"Cyrus, how many outfits can you try on? It's just a party; nobody will care what you're wearing," The person said.
I sighed as I shook my head. "Whatever, Iris. I'd just hate to show up looking like a mess and have everyone laugh at me. Again."
Iris shook her head. "No one is gonna be looking at you, Cyrus. And if they do, it's because they're admiring the eye candy," She gave me a jokingly, flirtatious wink. I rolled my eyes, and we both laughed. After I stopped worrying about my outfit, we left my room and headed to the party. I didn't have to worry about coming home late because my foster dad wouldn't even notice. He would most likely be passed out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles.
I wondered when I would be transferred to another house. I would be slightly sad about it since I would be losing Iris. She was my only real friend since everyone avoided me like the plague. She stood up for me when I was getting bullied in the hall. Most people would have just walked past or laughed. She was there for me when no one else was.
Iris grabbed my hand as we talked and laughed on our way to where the party was at. It was inside a fairly large house. Iris turned to me with a bright smile. We finally arrived, and the party was in full swing. "Alright, you're about to walk into your first-ever high school party. How do you feel?" She asked me.
I shrugged. "I feel the same, honestly. I'll just be walking into a dancing sweat pit," I said nonchalantly. Iris smacked my arm as we beamed at each other. We walked in, still holding hands, and I took everything in. There was old music, people dancing uncomfortably close together, people making out. Yup, this was your ordinary high school party. I nervously around as I debated on turning around and walking through the door.
"Come on, let's dance!" Iris yelled over the music as she dragged me to where everyone was dancing. She began to dance wildly to Miley Cyrus's "We Can't Stop". I raised a brow at her as she danced. She gave me a look. "Come on, Cyrus! Loosen up a little!" She yelled.
I rolled my eyes and began to shuffle around a bit. I wasn't really a dancer, and watching Iris just swing her arms around like a crazy person wasn't very comforting. I eventually loosened up and began to dance more freely. We both laughed at each other as we began to dance. After a while, Iris stopped dancing and breathed heavily.
"I'm going to go get some punch; wanna come with?!" She yelled. I nodded, and she grabbed my hand as we pushed past all the dancing bodies. It began to get difficult to hold on to her, and soon we were separated. I called out for her, but she practically disappeared into the crowd. I looked around nervously as I began to walk in the direction she was going. I bumped into someone, and he turned around.
"Hey, watch where you're- Well, well, well, look who decided to show his face at my party," Jackson gave me a devilish smirk. I took a step back as he looked down at me.
"I was just leaving," I said, trying to turn around and leave, but he grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me back. He grinned as he signaled to the DJ to cut the music. After everything got quiet, everyone looked around, confused as to why the music had stopped.
"Hey, everyone! The queer decided to show his face," He said, earning laughs from everyone. I stood there as my eyes began to water. Everyone laughed and pointed as Jackson grinned triumphantly.
"Please just let me go," I pleaded as Jackson gave me a look. He tilted his head, and his eyes lit up.
"Hey guys, I think the queer is a little thirsty. Why don't we help him out with that," He said. Not long after, I gasped as I felt very cold water being dropped over my head. I was drenched from head to toe as everyone laughed hard. The water on my face hid my tears as I shivered from the cold. I looked up to see Iris, who was grinning brightly and taking pictures.
My heart shattered as she laughed and continued to take pictures. I couldn't be here. I needed to leave. Jackson let go, and I pushed past the laughing crowd and ran out the door. I ran and ran until I collapsed onto the ground, sobbing and shivering. I couldn't believe Iris had done this to me. I thought she was my friend. This only made me realize that I would always be alone. No one would ever want to be my friend, and I would die alone.
"Cyrus?"
I jumped when I heard Tj call my name. He looked at me worriedly. "Are you alright?" I've been trying to get your attention for like five minutes," He told me.
"I-uh, I'm fine. Just thinking," I said. He reached out and wiped a tear that I didn't know was there.
"If you're fine, why are you crying?" He asked, still worried.
I shook my head. "I just didn't blink for a while. I promise I'm ok," I tried to reassure him.
He looked at me, mentally debating whether to ask me if I was really ok or not. Mr. McNamara continued to speak as Tj turned back to him. The day went by quickly after that, and soon I was in my room trying my best not to call Tj and telling him that I changed my mind. I told him I would go, and it was too late to back out now.
I also had already texted him my address, and he told me he'd be here soon. I didn't waste time on my outfit, deciding to wear a simple black hoodie and black jeans, and I waited. After a while, Tj texted me that he was here. I walked downstairs, remembering Jill had a date and Simon was out of town on a college tour. Jill knew I was going out and told me to be careful. Since it wasn't a school night, she told me to be home whenever and if I wasn't coming home to tell her so.
I walked outside to see Tj sitting in his car. I could see him grinning behind the steering wheel. I walked over to the passenger's seat and climbed in. "You ready for the night of a lifetime?" He smirked at me.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm ready to get this over with," I quipped with sass. Tj feigned a hurt look, and we both started laughing. He started driving as I stared out the window. "So, what's the occasion?" I asked.
"It's Kira's birthday," He said, focusing on the road. I sighed. Of course, he was bringing me to his girlfriend's party. I felt a small pang in my heart as I thought about how happy they looked in the hallway. Smiling brightly at each other, holding hands, and enjoying each other's company. The fact that I was in love with Tj, my straight best friend, was pathetic.
"You're doing it again," I heard Tj say. I looked at him, confused, as he kept his eyes ahead of him. He turned to me with a sad smile.
"Doing what," I furrowed my brow at him. He laughed softly and shook his head.
"Whenever you think deeply, it's like you're off in another world. You just stare blank-faced. It's pretty creepy now that I think about it," He explained. I scoffed and punched his arm. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it wasn't soft either. He was right, though. Sometimes I get so lost in my thoughts that I just go into a different world.
We arrived at the house, which I guessed was Kira's, and got out of the car. You could hear the music from out here, and a few people were standing outside doing various things. We walked up to the door, and Tj held it open, ushering me inside. I looked around at the usual high school party antics. There was a giant banner on the ceiling that read, "Happy Birthday, Kira!". Speak of the devil. "Babe, you made it!" I heard a squeal as Tj was tackled.
He didn't fall, though. He just picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing him happily. I looked away as I felt a sad pang in my heart. He put her down, and the two smiled at each other. "Oh, I should probably introduce you to Cyrus," He said, gesturing to me.
Kira looked me up and down as if evaluating me. She smiled an obviously fake smile at me. "Nice to finally meet you. Tj never shuts up about you," She said. I awkwardly smiled.
"Yeah, nice to meet you too," I said, wishing for this conversation to end. Kira looked at me one last time before turning to Tj.
"Come on, babe, I gotta show you my presents," She squealed. Tj looked at me and then back to her.
"I was actually planning to hang with Cyrus for a little bit," He told her. She frowned as she looked at me. She gave me a subtle glare that made me shrink back.
"So you would rather hang out with Cyrus instead of your girlfriend? At my own birthday party? Wow, some boyfriend you are," She scoffed and walked away. Tj groaned and rubbed his face.
"Sorry about her; she's and handful sometimes," He apologized.
I shook my head. "It's fine. She's right, though; you should go find her," I told him.
He looked at me questioningly. "Are you sure? I don't want to leave you-" I stopped him. I age him a small smile.
"I'm sure. I'll be fine. I'll just go hang by the punch bowl or something," I reassured him. He smiled gratefully at me and rushed off to find her. I sighed, and once again, I found myself abandoned by the person who brought me here. I walked out the front door, half-tempted just to walk home. That would've taken forever, and Tj would probably be worried if I just left.
"I'm guessing you're not a party guy?" I heard someone ask me. I turned to see a guy sitting on the porch, staring up at me. His brown eyes were full of curiosity as the wind blew his short brown hair around. I shuffled on my feet awkwardly.
"Not really. I didn't really want to come in the first place," I answered.
He nodded. "I get that. I was dragged here by one of my friends. They ditched me as soon as we got here," He said, looking back at the sky. I decided to have a seat next to him. He seemed chill enough not to be bothered by my presence.
"Yeah, some friends we've got, huh?" I joked. He chuckled and looked at me. Our eyes met as the moonlight made his eyes sparkle. I felt a small flutter in my stomach. Oh great, as if liking Tj wasn't bad enough
"I'm Marty, by the way," He introduced himself.
"Cyrus," I said simply.
He nodded. "Cyrus. Nice name. Wanna get out of here?" He asked me.
I thought for a moment. Tj probably wouldn't want me to leave. But he's busy with his girlfriend. Maybe I needed something to get my mind off of Tj. I nodded. "Sure, let's go," I said.
And that's the chapter. This is the longest chapter I've written so far. I hope you guys like it. This should've been out yesterday but I kept changing things and rewriting until I was satisfied. The next chapter should be out soon. I'm proud of myself for being consistent for once but it most likely won't last and I'll be on a month-long hiatus again lol. Hopefully, that doesn't happen. But until then, byeee
~Ash