Copyright to VedaPettigrew
Henry entered her bedchamber and shut the door firmly behind them. She pranced to the middle of the room. The hope inside her had increased, causing her to feel like she might fly away but she could not bring herself down despite telling herself that hope was foolish.
She should dampen it, for if it turned out to be untrue she would be devastated. Yet every argument she tried on herself, she refuted by repeating all the things Mama had noticed on her own. And really, Mama should know for she had borne three children.
Henry's large hands wrapped around her waist from behind as he bent to nuzzle her neck. Tingles rushed over her skin but her focus was his hands. Twas as if he were protecting and loving their baby already.
Please Lord, please, she thought desperately.
"So what is my mother's secret?" Henry mumbled into the space where her shoulder met her neck, between caresses.
"In truth, 'tis more my secret than hers," Rosannah replied teasingly. He turned her in his arms and frowned down at her.
"What do you mean?"
She pressed her body into his, always happy to be closer to him. "She was waiting for us to tell her something she thought was our secret," she explained. "That is why she had that strange gleam in her eye."
He looked confused and she giggled. "I do not know with certainty whether what she thought is correct, but I do so hope so."
"Wife, you make no sense at all," he growled, ordering, "Speak plainly."
She nibbled the inside of her lips, wondering how to tell him what they suspected. Her forehead creased, "I am going to give you a list and you tell me what all these things have in common."
He raised one sardonic eyebrow.
"Please, I beg of you, allow me some peculiarities, for in truth my thoughts are not straight either and I cannot speak plainly as you desire."
He nodded with a smile, "Very well Rosie. I will exercise patience."
"Thank you," she patted his waistcoat. "Now, what do these things have in common? Headaches. Tiredness. Dizziness. Crying. Being irritable, then happy, then sad, then happy, then angry. Craving certain foods." She listed everything she could remember and watched him to see if he understood. He seemed to comprehend something after a few things and became more certain as she carried on.
"You have suffered all those things recently," he said with conviction. "You are what they all have in common."
She nodded with a smile, "Yes, I am." She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek with her thumb as she cupped his face. "There is something else that they all have in common."
Alarm filled his face. "Are you ill Rosie?" he asked urgently.
"No, no," she rushed to reassure him. "I am well. I shall give you another clue for your puzzle." Her cheeks blushed as she thought of what she was about to speak of. "If I added one more thing, I think you might understand."
"Rosie, I am losing patience. If I do not understand after this, I want you to tell me," he warned, an edge of worry to his tone despite her attempted reassurance.
"I will," she vowed. "The last thing on the list is, missed monthly bleeds."
She could barely look him in the eye at talking about such a personal thing, but she wanted to watch his reaction. Would he understand?
He frowned as she spoke but then, immediately after she stopped, his eyes widened dramatically.
"Rosie? Are you telling me what I think you are?"
"If you think I am saying that all those things are symptoms a woman displays when she is with child, then yes," she grinned at his stunned expression. "I have been showing lots of classic signs that I am carrying a baby."
He fell to his knees and held her sides, framing her stomach and looking at it in awe.
"I do not know for sure," she explained quickly. "But I have not had my monthlies for several months now. I did not think about it, as I never thought it could be a possibility, I missed it," she said with regret. "It was only when Mama told me of her suspicions that I realised how long it had been. But I cannot say it is true with certainty."
He looked up at her, love expanding his gaze. "But maybe?"
She nodded shakily. "Maybe, Gray. Maybe."
He pressed his face into her midriff and wrapped his arms around her once more. "Are you in there, Baby Foxleigh?"
It was so similar to her reaction that she laughed, explaining that she had asked the same. Henry stared at her belly in awe for a few minutes. "I have noticed that you are a little more rounded here, but not so much that I thought it strange. Just perhaps that you had been enjoying Mrs Weaver's cakes too much," he grinned up at her and she flicked his nose with a smiling pout.
"I think you could be correct," she ran a hand down her middle, trying to feel. "But I confess I do not look at my body as much as you do," she teased.
"Indeed, I am the best Rosie connoisseur," he smirked.
He smoothed his hand over her stomach a few times before closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against her as if in prayer. Then, much to her bemusement, suddenly he leapt to his feet and charged out of the room, shouting for Chilton.
A few hours later Dr Adamson finished examining her, having come immediately at Henry's urgent missive. Really the man had no patience! It was fortunate indeed that Dr Adamson had a small country dwelling, not too far from Amberley.
He had been very thorough and asked many questions while Henry paced at the foot of the bed.
"Well Adamson?" he demanded.
The doctor calmly looked at him, pensiveness upon his face. She stood and went to her husband, loving the way he put his arm around her immediately.
"If it were any other woman, I would say with certainty that she was carrying a baby." He hooked his thumbs into his pockets and paused as his face took on a look of concentration. "But as I have previously examined Her Grace and deemed it unlikely, I cannot in good conscience do the same."
Disappointment caused her chest to sink, Henry's arm tightened as she sagged into him.
Dr Adamson saw their response and offered an encouraging smile. "However, although I cannot give certainty, I do believe that my earlier diagnosis was probably wrong and it is most likely that Her Grace is expecting."
It was more than outright denial but not enough for her. She wanted to hear that it was definitively true and was disappointed not to be able to rejoice fully.
"If you are carrying a child, you will be three or four months along. I cannot narrow it down as Her Grace is unable to remember the exact dates I need," he carried on.
Rosannah flushed, "I am sorry."
He waved his hand, "Do not fret my dear, it would be helpful, but not essential. Though," a thought struck him, his face lightened, "Would the delightful Maisie know?"
It was possible, she mused, a ladies' maid knew many intimate details of their mistress. Maisie was sent for and Rosannah took her aside, not wishing to have the embarrassing conversation in front of the gentlemen.
"I do remember, my lady," Maisie said excitedly. "Twas the week of the Peacock Masquerade. I remember because I had to loosen your stays that night, for you were feeling uncomfortable with it and we laughed about how your dress buttons might pop off and hit someone in the eye."
The reminder hit Rosannah like a bolt of lightning. She recalled it as well and warmed at the memory, they had laughed a lot that night. It was clear to her now, and she felt such a ditz not to have thought of it herself.
"There have been none since," Maisie continued. "I confess I did not think to notice it. But, oh Your Grace," she covered her cheeks animatedly. "It would be so wonderful. Especially after you thought it would never be so."
Rosannah hugged her, "I know, I can scarce breathe I am so excited. Thank you for remembering, my wonderful Maisie. You may go now, I will be sure to tell you what the doctor says."
She rushed back to the gentlemen who were conversing in muted tones. Henry turned back to her, lifting his hand. She went to him and tucked herself under his arm. "My last... time, was around four months past," she mumbled, still not enjoying talking about such things so freely.
"That is very helpful," Dr Adamson said warmly. "I can now give you some more things to watch out for as regular symptoms. If you start experiencing some pains in your midsection, do not fret but be happy that another sign has come along. You might be frightened, but most women have this. I think it is as the baby is growing and pushing you, it causes discomfort. Also a burning in your upper chest is another uncomfortable symptom. If this happens, I recommend chewing mint leaves."
"When should we expect that?" Henry demanded. "And with Her Grace's previous injuries causing weakness, is there anything we can do to help her?"
She put her hand over her stomach, she wanted to protect their child, but what if she was unable to grow it properly. The thought was dreadful.
"It could happen any day from now, so keep watch," Dr Adamson said. "Make sure her Grace has plenty of rest, do not let her become over-worried, keep her comforted and happy, she should eat good foods; like figs, prunes, and roasted apples, early to bed and early to rise, but make sure that she returns to her bed at least once a day to lie down.
"I also suggest you have an experienced female midwife to work alongside me, even though 'tis out of fashion, for who better to know what it is like, but another woman? I have some suggestions and will give you their names."
Henry nodded seriously and Rosannah imagined she would be finding herself bored and lazy over the next few months, but she would not mind at all, for if it helped her grow their baby, she would do whatever was necessary.
Fortunately, a lover of books was able to visit a great many places from the comfort of their bed.
"Lie down while I speak with Dr Adamson in my study," Henry ordered, leading her to her bed. She smiled secretly, it seemed she was correct.
Dr Adamson left and Henry bent to kiss her forehead. "I shall get the names of these midwives and ask some more questions. Your only job is to rest." He gripped her hand tightly, "I need you to stay alive Rosie. Please do not fight me on the measures I will put in place. I cannot have you more at jeopardy than necessary, nor our baby."
She smiled at her over-protective husband, "Do not fret Grayson, for I am of the same accord. But, we do not know if there is truly a baby yet."
He put his hand over her stomach, "I know, but I am not willing to take the risk. Not with you. Not with our child."
She covered his hand with her own and whispered, her voice breaking, "I think there is one."
He smiled down at her, "I do too Rosie. I desperately hope we are right. But I had not considered how my fear of losing you would affect me, I almost wish it not to be true, for you mean more to me than any other thing in this world and I would never wish to put you at risk." His bruised eyes carried his dread.
"It will be well Henry, women have done this since the dawn of time." She stroked his cheek, "And I promise, I will be obedient."
He kissed her lovingly and left. She stayed on her bed, curled up as if she embraced her child with protection.
Days passed slowly as she tried to carry on with life as normally as she could, though each moment was spent wondering if she was with child. The thought pervaded into every part of her consciousness and she wished she could just know for certain.
It was frustrating and tiresome indeed.
Henry seemed on edge and she knew his hope was a double-edged sword. The night they found out, he had spoken honestly to her as she lay in his arms., He confessed that there had been a part of him that was relieved that he never had to worry about losing her in childbirth, that although he hated the disappointment for her sake as well as his, he was happy to know that the high danger was not something she would face.
She had resolved in that moment to do anything he asked of her if it would alleviate his worries even a small amount, and therefore never refused him anything.
Not when he brought her a truly hideous herbal concoction to drink that had been recommended by their midwife.
Nor did she ever deny his regular requests that she lie down and rest, despite feeling perfectly fine.
She never argued when he refused invitations to call on their friends, even for a day visit.
The only time she faintly dissented was when he pared down the guests that they had already invited to their home.
"We cannot be rude Grayson," she said softly - knowing that if she even faintly sounded aggravated, he would panic and send her to bed.
"I care not for rudeness," he barked. "They will be given a reasonable excuse, a contagious illness at the estate should do it."
His unyielding tone caused her to wriggle in unsatisfied angst. Henry had asked Dr Adamson about their love-making, much to her horror, and Dr Adamson had said he was not certain whether it would be a good idea or not, and to wait until she was well settled in pregnancy.
She thought that she liked the man. But now, while suffering the state her husband had left her in, she had determined that to be false.
Her piteous pleading was refused and no matter how many times she expressed how well she was - she had been fortunate enough to have very few unpleasant symptoms and felt bouncing with health - she was gently told 'no' by her very handsome but incredibly frustrating husband.
She was resolute to ask the midwife next time she saw her. For though it would cause her great mortification, she trusted the woman they had found. She herself had had seven children and brought many more into the world besides. Rosannah was certain that her advice was sound and would willingly follow whatever she said.
"I think that unwise," she said of her husband's desire to make them pariahs. "For there will still be other visitors here and it will cause confusion and gossip. If we are discovered to be liars, many alliances will fold and our position of integrity will be compromised."
He raised his eyebrow at her, uncaring of the flutters it caused, though she knew he was aware of the effect he had upon her. Twas cruel, she grumbled to herself.
"They are not coming," he growled, sending fantastical tingles racing rapidly through her. She sighed and pressed her thighs together, deciding that the argument was beyond her capabilities in this state.
He noticed her response and his hands curled into fists as he took a few deep breaths. He snarled irritably, "We are not having visitors and neither are we coupling."
She grinned, finding satisfaction that at least he was suffering too. His patience was short and he was easily riled. She knew he was arguing with himself as much as her.
"Very well my love," she said gently. "Whatever you think is best, but please, I beg of you, do not cause offence or gossip if you can help it. I am sure Chilton and Fredericks will be able to invent a good excuse."
He harrumphed and left her sitting room, only to storm back in and kiss her so thoroughly that she was breathless, before stomping out again.
Yes indeed, she was not the only frustrated one.
Days passed into weeks and she held her breath as she started showing more symptoms. Twas strange to be happy about aches and pains, but she could not help but be so. Plus the small roundedness of her stomach quickly expanded. She had trained herself not to look, the agonising slowness of looking at it every moment was too much for her to bear, but all of a sudden it was inescapable.
She woke up one morning, feeling uncomfortable in her position and realised that it was because there was a definite bump in her midsection.
Henry was still asleep, so she crept to the looking glass and with her eyes closed, removed the nightrail she wore to help stem the passion she felt when sleeping next to her husband. With a quick prayer and deep breath she opened her eyes.
A sharp cry left her as the shape of her body proved without a doubt the truth. She was with child. It could not be denied.
Henry leapt to his feet, alarmed by her cry, and ran to her. "What is it? Why are you out of bed? You are not feeling well enough, come, come." He took her wrist and tried to lead her away, turning to brush at the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.
"Nay Henry, I am well. Stop." She pulled her arm free and stepped back. "Look at me."
She rested her hands on her rounded bump. "Look."
His stalk towards her was halted abruptly. He followed her order and swept his eyes over her body, stopping when he saw the size and shape that proved their hopes to be true. He looked up at her sharply and grinned in such a way it took her breath away.
Happiness danced in his eyes as he fell to his knees before her, surrounding the bump with his enormous hands and kissing her belly.
"You are definitely there Baby Foxleigh," he grinned. "'Tis wonderful to meet you."
"Yes Grayson," she sobbed. "We are having a baby. It really is true."
He stood and wrapped her in his arms and they leant together in silence for a long time, allowing the wondrous fact to sink in fully.
"I must sort several things immediately," Henry stated, interrupting her reverie. "Every hazard must be removed, I shall not have you tripping over a rug or something ridiculous like that. No more carrying anything, the servants must be told. If you go for a walk, you must be accompanied by someone, in fact, you are no longer permitted to be alone, somebody must be with you at all times. I do not want you to go back on a horse. I am not sure about a carriage either."
"Henry," she reproved lightly. The horse she could understand, but a carriage?
He grasped her face in his hands and lifted it to meet his. "No Rosannah. If you thought I was hard before, I am afraid you will find me a tyrant now. I am sorry that you will not be able to have freedom to leave, but we are staying here until after the baby has come."
He frowned at the reminder of his fear. "I will send for several doctors and midwives. I want you attended by as many physicians as possible, Dr Adamson will not object, but I will not care even if he does," he said determinedly.
"The children..." she began.
"Will be permitted to come here and visit you," his brows drew down unhappily. "Briefly. As long as you do not tax yourself. And from now, no more guests, the only ones permitted will be the ones we have here already..."
"What about Theodore?" she teased. He had gone to town on business in Henry's place and was expected back next week.
James was the only non-family member currently staying with them and there was no hope of getting rid of him. She was also incredibly pleased to say that very soon, he would not be classed that way anymore, for he had approached Henry for permission to marry Sophia and she was awaiting his proposal with an excitement that was hard to conceal from her sister.
"You are not taking this seriously," he grumbled.
She sighed joyfully and flung her arms about his neck, "I am indeed husband. I am just happy."
His face softened and he smiled down at her, "Me too Rosie. Me too."
"Marrying you was the best thing that anyone has ever done in the history of mankind," she swore solemnly.
"I agree," he kissed her tenderly. Every touch of their lips still brought wonder. "Better than the invention of the wheel even," he added with a smirk.
"Indubitably," she stated as she pulled him to her for another kiss, wanting to pour her heart into him. "Even though you are a tyrant," she mumbled just before their lips met.