Imagine the excruciating agony someone goes through when their whole world comes crashing down in flames. When your own eyes refuse to believe it's reality. The type of pain where your chest tightens and your fighting back the tears, choking on your words. Your brain scrambling to put the pieces together but can't. That is what Jungkook goes through.
He thought he could keep it in but it's only suffocating him. If you were to ask him if he would rather live or die, without hesitation Jungkook would pick the second one. Because hell will surely be better than what's happening right now.
It all started when Jungkook received a wedding invitation from his former best friend, Kim Taehyung. That's not what hurt Jungkook, sure it was like a knife in his chest but Jungkook wasn't selfish. He was beyond happy for his best friend when he told him he was dating despite being in love with him. Well, not right away but the idea grew on him, painfully slow.
What hurt and still hurts is that Taehyung let Bogum manipulate him. Told Tae what he could and couldn't do and he'd obey. Without realizing it Taehyung let Bogum control every aspect of his life.
Jungkook saw what Bogum was doing and told Tae but he wouldn't believe him. Taehyung told him it would be best if they spent less time together. He doesn't know what hurt more, the fact Taehyung chooses Bogum over him or that Bogum was hurting Tae.
Jungkook and Tae have been friends since grade school. He thought they had built a strong friendship but he was wrong.
The wedding starts in a few hours and Jungkook doesn't know if he even wants to attend.
"He's our friend Jungkook, you should go and wish him the best," Yoongi says dressed nicely in his tuxedo.
"I don't know"
"I know you, if you don't go you'll regret it so please hurry and get dressed, we leave in 15 minutes," Yoongi says
"Okay fine but don't leave me alone," Jungkook says before going into his room to get changed.
Jungkook walks out in his black fitted dress pants and red silk button up long sleeve with his hair curled and parted.
They leave and head to the destination where the wedding is being held. Jungkook doesn't understand why it's at a hotel, Taehyung's dream wedding is to have it outside with beautiful scenery, not dull walls.
Yoongi and Jungkook make their way to where Taehyung is. Before entering his room they knock. "Come in" Tae shouts
"Tae you look amazing" Yoongi says hugging him. But to Jungkook he looks skinnier like he hasn't been eating enough.
"Thanks Yoongi"
"Hi Jungkook," Tae says noticing him
"You look good Tae" Jungkook manages to say holding back what he wants to say.
"Thanks glad you both made it" Tae says happily. Jungkook keeps thinking if Tae is happy then he should be too.
"So where's you're honeymoon going to be?" Yoongi asks
"We're not having one" Tae says and Jungkook can't believe what he's hearing. For as long as he can remember Taehyung wanted to go somewhere tropical where there are beaches.
"Why not?" Jungkook doesn't mean to ask, it just slips out when he was thinking.
"It's too much money, we want to spend it on a house instead" Taehyung explains, We? More like Bogum. Jungkook knows Taehyung all too well.
First it's the location now it's the honeymoon, and Jungkook is pretty sure Bogum is telling Tae to lose weight. Jungkook can't take it anymore. He has to tell Taehyung how he feels. Even if there's a slight possibility Taehyung likes Jungkook then he can save him.
"Yoongi can I speak to Taehyung alone for a minute" Jungkook says and Yoongi is hesitant at first but leaves, "I'll look for our seats".
"What do you want to tell me Jungkook?" Taehyung asks
Jungkook laughs bitterly "You use to never call me by my name always Kookie and Jungkookie but ever since Bogum came into the picture everything changed and not in a good way. You're oblivious to his schemes. He's manipulating you Tae."
"I stopped because it was wrong to call you by a nickname when I have a boyfriend and he does not manipulate me this is why I distanced myself from you," Taehyung says not realizing the pain he's inflicting.
"A few months ago you told me that what I was saying wasn't true I let it go because our friendship means the world to me and you seemed happy and that was more important. But Tae this isn't even close to your dream wedding, you told me you wanted to get married at a beautiful scenery outdoors and for your honeymoon you wanted to go to an island, not this" Jungkook says frustrated
"In a relationship, you have to make compromises and I was just a kid in high school with unrealistic expectations" Is that what Bogum made him believe?
"They weren't unrealistic, not to me" Jungkook says
"What do you mean?" Taehyung asks
"I don't know if you were completely oblivious or just didn't want to hurt my feelings but I love you. I have loved you since we were in high school."
Taehyung scoffs" I see what this is about now, your jealous that I'm happy with someone else that's why you're saying all this bullshit. Bogum was right you only care about yourself"
What? Is he hearing this right. Jungkook couldn't believe it. This is the moment when his world came crashing down.
"I think you should leave" Taehyung says with resentment in his eyes
Jungkook leaves without saying another word. Too heartbroken to say anything. Taehyung not only knew about his feelings but hates him too now.
Jungkook goes home and cries all night. Taehyung gets married and lives happily ever after, which is what Jungkook believes.
After drinking his sorrows away for two weeks in a row he sobers up not by choice but because his friends intervened. At first they gave him his space but when they called to check in he wouldn't answer and that's when they decided enough was enough. Namjoon got rid of all the liquor in the apartment, Jin and Yoongi went grocery shopping after seeing all the empty ramen noodle cups scattered all around the place. Jimin and Hoseok cleaned up the mess he made.
"Thanks guys for coming over" Jungkook says
"Anything for you kid" Jin says
"Just glad your better now" Hoseok says
"I'm amazed your not in the hospital now with the amount of alcohol and ramen noodles you consumed" Yoongi says
"No more alcohol for you" Namjoon scolds him
"Understood Hyung" Jungkook says
He's grateful for his friends who are helping him during this time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile Taehyung couldn't stop thinking about how hurt Jungkook looked when he left. Taehyung felt bad for how he treated Jungkook. What was supposed to be the best day of his life turned into a conflicted one.
Jungkook knew his dream wedding. Jungkook loves him. These were the thoughts that filled his head when he walked down the aisle. He spaced out for most of the ceremony. Jungkook was right this wasn't his dream wedding but he convinced himself it's what Bogum and he wanted.
Taehyung decided to put it behind him but the harder he tried the more his heart grasped it.
"Taehyung can you bring me a beer" Bogum shouts snapping Tae out of his thoughts.
"Sure babe" Tae shouts back and grabs a cold beer from the fridge and takes it to his husband who's sitting on the couch watching television.
Tae sits next to him and cuddles with him, only for Bogum to tell him to piss off. Taehyung leaves and goes to their bedroom upset. Taehyung moved in with Bogum after the wedding. They were supposed to go house shopping but Bogum said he's too tired to go look.
The following weeks were only getting worse. Bogum grew more abusive with each day, calling Taehyung names and making him feel beneath him. Never did Bogum hit Tae and he was grateful for that.
"Hey babe I'm heading out" Tae says grabbing his bag. Bogum grabs his wrist and pulls him close, placing his hand on Tae's plump ass making him gasp. He kisses Tae and turns into a steamy make-out session. Soon clothes are being removed as they head to the bedroom.
Whenever Taehyung wanted to hang out with his friends Bogum would pull that stunt so Tae wouldn't go out. Taehyung was oblivious to this too in love to notice.
It wasn't till after six months when Taehyung wanted to go see his friends not letting Bogum have his way. Bogum pulls Taehyung in for a kiss but Tae pushes him away. "You can't just have sex with me to keep me from going out"Tae spats.
"Fine I won't" Something flickered in Bogum's eyes. He drew his fist back and plunged into Tae's stomach. His insides smashed together. As if that wasn't enough Bogum's fist collided with his jaw making him fall on the floor. Blood pooled in Tae's mouth and Bogum left as Tae's chest gently rose and sank with each shallow breath he drew in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doorbell rings followed by impatient knocking. "I'm coming" Jungkook shouts. He opens the door to his apartment and it isn't who he was expecting. Standing at his door after a whole year is Taehyung.
Before Jungkook can even utter a word Taehyung throws himself at Jungkook and hugs him tightly. Jungkook is unsure of what to do and hesitantly hugs Taehyung back.
"What's going on Taehyung?" Jungkook asks, Taehyung doesn't say anything and hugs Jungkook for a little longer.
Jungkook breaks the hug and sees Taehyung has puffy eyes. Has he been crying?
"What are you doing here Taehyung?" Jungkook asks
"I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced but I have to- why are you dressed up? Are you going somewhere Jungkookie?" Taehyung asks, the old nickname feeling foreign to both of them.
"I am" Jungkook replies
"Can I go with you?" Taehyung asks not wanting to be alone or maybe he just really missed Jungkook and wants to be with him.
"Why aren't you with your h-husband, today's your one year anniversary" Jungkook asks
"I-"
"Hey babe you ready?"
They both turn to the door that Jungkook left opened and it's a male Tae doesn't recognize.
Babe? Is he referring to Jungkook? Are they dating? Taehyung's mind goes all over the place as his heart pounds against his chest heavily.
"Taehyung this is Eunwoo my boyfriend" Jungkook introduces and Tae doesn't know why he feels jealous or hurt at the fact Jungkook has a boyfriend, he's married after all.
"Nice meeting you Taehyung" Eunwoo says before giving Jungkook a quick kiss.
"I'm sorry I'll go" Taehyung says walking towards the door.
"No wait" Jungkook abruptly says and Tae stops in his tracks.
"We can talk when I come back just make yourself comfortable, you know where everything is at" Jungkook says
"Okay" Tae says. It's not like he has anywhere else to go.
Jungkook closes the door and leaves. Taehyung is conflicted. He doesn't know why it hurts seeing Jungkook with someone else. He has no right to feel jealous or even upset.
Taehyung recalls the countless memories he has of being in Jungkook's apartment. All the sleepovers and cuddles. The stupid games they'd play and the mess they made when baking.
To kill time and distract his mind Taehyung takes a cool shower. He uses a sponge and winces when it touches his bruises. Some are dark purple and others are fading. He doesn't realize he's crying in the shower.
After a while he goes into Jungkook's bedroom with a towel wrapped around his torso. He remembers where everything is at and grabs an unopened package of boxers from a drawer and puts them on. He searches the closet and slips in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt.
Taehyung crawls onto Jungkook's bed and curls up into a ball hugging one of the pillows.
~~~~~~~~~~
Out on his date Eunwoo asks Jungkook who Taehyung is. "Taehyung was my best friend" Jungkook replies sadly, eating his dinner.
"Was?"
"We had a falling out" Jungkook responds
"He looked pretty upset" Eunwoo says feeling empathetic.
He's right. Taehyung looked relieved when I said he could stay like he didn't have anywhere else to go.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I have to make sure he's okay" Jungkook says standing up to leave.
"It's okay I understand" Eunwoo says
Jungkook pays for the meals and quickly goes to Taehyung. He goes into his apartment and calls out for him. "Taehyung I'm back" Jungkook continues to call out but doesn't see him anywhere. He checks his room and sees Taehyung curled up into a ball hugging a pillow.
"You still have that cute habit" Jungkook whispers. Jungkook grabs a blanket to cover Tae when he sees bruises on his arm. Did Bogum hit Taehyung? The thought alone infuriates him.
Tomorrow morning Jungkook was going to get answers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taehyung wakes up to the smell of something sweet and his stomach growls. He didn't eat anything last night so he's starving.
He borrows slippers from Jungkook and goes out into the kitchen. There Jungkook is cooking chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries.
"Those are my favorite" Taehyung smiles, he remembered.
"Good morning Taehyung" Jungkook says and likes how his clothes fit on Taehyung.
Tae sees the blankets on the couch. The sight was odd because they always shared a bed since they were kids. A part of him wishing Jungkook had climbed in bed with him and hold him close. "I'm sorry I slept on your bed Jungkook"
"It's fine, here eat up and when you're done we need to talk" Jungkook says laying out the breakfast.
Taehyung nods and chews on his fluffy pancake. It's been a long time since someone cooked for him. Usually Tae is the one cooking.
After he finishes they sit on the couch. There's an uncomfortable silence but Jungkook finally speaks up.
"I noticed the bruises on your arms"
Tae covers his arm but it's too late. He completely forgets about the ones on his arms.
"Tae you can talk to me" Jungkook says grabbing Tae's hand for reassurance.
"You were right" Tae says embarrassed and that's all it takes for Jungkook to understand.
"I'm so sorry Tae"
"Why? It's not your fault. You tried to tell me, you even warned me twice and I still wouldn't listen"
"Did- did he"
"Yeah he did" Taehyung understood what Jungkook was trying to ask and lifts the t-shirt revealing the bruises that cover his body.
Jungkook was beyond pissed. He was enraged.
"I'm going to kill him" Jungkook says through gritted teeth, standing up to go confront him.
" No don't leave me please" Taehyung cries holding onto Jungkook's hand tightly.
It broke Jungkook's heart, seeing fear in Tae's eyes.
"I won't leave you"
The rest of the morning was spent cuddling on the couch. Tae wrapped in Jungkook's arms tightly. He felt safe and reassured. It was at that moment Tae realized the inevitable, he is in love with Jungkook.